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Why Your Favorite Harry Potter Character Actually Sucks
Emily Heller
@emilypheller
December 3, 2014
Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. I've won trivia contests and gotten into fights defending the books. But most of the main characters are straight up garbage people.
1. Harry (See link for what she and others have to say about Harry Potter.)
2. Ron
The major selling point for Ron is that he's loyal, which honestly is the bare minimum requirement for a friend, but whatever. EXCEPT REMEMBER THAT THREE MONTHS WHERE HE COMPLETELY SHUNNED HARRY BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE PUT HIS NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?? I mean, if he did, that would be a stinkface move to not include Ron, but a Loyal Friend would believe him when he said he didn't do it.
Ron's supposed to be the goofy friend, the comic relief, but he's only funny because he's dumb and insensitive.
He's AWFUL to Hermione until she gets hot, including completely shunning her (sound familiar??) when he thinks her cat ate Scabbers and doesn't even apologize when he's proven wrong.
Ocean Elf: And while we're at it, please, let's include Scabbers. Truly the worst pet ever, since he turned out not to be a pet, but an enchanted rat. A spy for Voldemort. In his true human form, he was a fellow called - Wormtail? Peter Pettigrew anyway. I remember thinking something had to be off since Ron indicated he'd had this pet rat longer than 2 years, and rats typically live only 2 years.
Emily Heller: 3. Hermione
Hermione is the best character of the trio, but even she isn't great. She's brilliant, yes, but that makes her snobby, rude, and a little psychotic. I mean, she used time travel to be able to take more classes which is just insane and really risky. She completely dismisses things she doesn't understand including having a tantrum and quitting the only class she's not good at. She's incredibly practical but it borders on callousness. That's probably a good thing for their adventures since Ron and Harry are such whomping pussywillows but it doesn't bode well for interpersonal relationships.
there's dedicated and then there's delusional (via hellomissf) Plus, she's really rude to Luna and never apologizes when she turns out to be cool.
Ocean Elf: I could almost forgive her for that, though. But wondering if HP is where all the Luna Mary Sues come from. It is such an overused name.
Emily Heller: 4. Sirius
Granted, it's gotta be frustrating and depressing being convicted for the murder of your best friend and sent to live on a freezing rock prison guarded by the literal embodiment of fear. Living there for 13 years could certainly mess up your brain a little bit. But when he escaped, Sirius made NO effort to not be THE CREEPIEST.
He followed Harry around as a giant death omen and just giggled when Harry tried to strangle him. I mean, I understand from the writer's perspective wanting to draw out the suspense of the reveal as long as possible, but honestly, he knew that everyone thought he wanted to kill Harry. Why would he creepily whisper "only one will die tonight" without explaining, "Oh, not you, don't worry. It's Peter Pettigrew. He's alive. I didn't kill your parents."???
5. Ginny
This is more of a criticism of the writing than the character herself, but it seems like J.K. Rowling decided to pair Ginny with Harry and then tried to retcon her a personality. For the first two books Ginny was a shy, obsessive, cheesy preteen girl. Yes, that's a phase many of us grow out of, but with Ginny she seemed to go overnight from a fawning fangirl to a badarse cool kid because she was mainly ignored for the 3rd and 4th books when she was presumably going through all this growth. She just wasn't that compelling of a character until J.K. Rowling thought, "oh, maybe Harry would like to get with her" and only then did she get anything close to interesting. At least it was somewhat pulled off in the books, but in the movies Ginny has less personality than a wet blanket.
6. Snape
There is nothing romantic about Snape and Lily. He straight up stalked her as a kid and was creepily obsessed with her at school. I'm assuming he complained about being put in the friendzone because that's the kind of guy he was. Also he was totally cool with Voldy killing her husband and son as long as she was spared. What, did he think she'd just run into his arms after that?
Plus, an infatuation with Lily Potter does not excuse YEARS of emotional abuse. He was literally Neville's worst fear and he made Harry's life at Hogwarts a living hell. There was no good reason for Harry to name his son after Snape, unless he wants his son to grow up to be a bitter, spiteful, lonely creep.
And speaking of emotionally abusive authority figures not worthy of being your son's namesake...
7. Dumbledore (See link for what she and others say about Dumbledore.)
8. McGonagall
I got nothing. This woman is flawless. She should be your favorite character.
Ocean Elf: Too bad she ended up in a cruddy series, created by such a lefty political agenda-driven author.
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