There is a cliche that says the pun is the lowest form of wit. I often disagree with that, I'm not a low-class person or a simpleton. In my opinion, dirty jokes , as well as jokes about appearance, ethnicity making light of tragedies and abuse, and the sacrilegious are the lowest form of humor.
But, yes, puns can be the lowest form of humor when they are dirty.
I would also like to point out that this is pretty much an equal-opportunity chain letter, that is, you sure as heck don't have to be a Christian or republican to find these funny and pass them on. Yet there are Christians and republicans who do love off-color jokes.
As a supposedly humorous fwd, it is among those which rarely if ever, get mangled. So the task falls to me...
Now, this meme gets a mangling and no love from me.
😏Meme: CHINESE PROVERBS
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Actually no, not Chinese proverbs. Just a bunch of dumb jokes dressed up to look like Chinese proverbs.
😏Meme: Virginity like bubble, one ****, all gone.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Utterly tasteless. And to think there are bubbleheads who actually think this is cool enough to pass for some kind of wit... It's obvious the bubblehead who originated this chain doesn't think with his real head - the one atop his shoulders...
😏Meme: Man who run in front of car get tired.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I could say "killed" instead of "tired" but that would turn the half-wittery into common sense. This just goes to show it to be anything but Chinese proverbs - "tired/tired" is an English pun, not a Chinese one. Besides, they didn't have cars back in the days when what are nowadays known as "proverbs" were written/said.
😏Meme: Man who run behind car get exhausted.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: See above...........................
😏Meme: Man with hand in pocket feel ****y all day.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Again, just a really, and I mean REALLY STUPID punny sorta thing, and perverted into the bargain. That's two counts of bawdiness so far.
😏Meme: Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Organs don't even come in "grand" or "upright" only pianos do, you idiot. And what if this man's wife doesn't play either instrument? And where is this man gonna get an organ for free? (possible baudy offense 3)
😏Meme: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Baudiness offense 4... I'd tell you to get your freaking mind out of the gutter, but how can you when you don't even have much of a mind to begin with?
😏Meme: Man with one chopstick go hungry.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So get a fork, spoon, knife, whatever. And since you specifically said "man" yet again, and given your propensity for dirty-minded junk, I'm going to assume this to be another in the bawdy-count. Number 5...
😏Meme: Man who scratch****should not bite fingernails.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm going to count this as not only bawdy offense 6, but disgusting to the point where this chain letter originator would be hit with a couple pairs of brass nails and then made to bite his own toes if I could make that happen!
😏Meme: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: If it wasn't in a chain letter claiming to be Chinese proverbs, I probably would've actually laughed at this one.
😏Meme: Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'd have this chain originator in a position where he couldn't walk by the time I got done with him. Note to chain originator, does the word "body-slam" mean anything to you? Shut up! (Bawdy offense 7)
😏Meme: Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Um, dude - you are one sad beyond pathetic schmuck... (Bawdy #8
😏Meme: War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And that wouldn't be you should you get in my way...
😏Meme: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, since you're that kind of man, I don't know what any woman would see in you. (Bawdy #9
😏Meme: Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So don't fight with your wife then...Jerk...
😏Meme: It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Still no grin... (Bawdy #10)
😏Meme: Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Whew! That's rocket scientist stuff! No, really! (sarcasm full volume)
😏Meme: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You know, this sort of junk is absolutely hilarious to grade school kids just on the verge of puberty...
😏Meme: Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And if the basement is made of glass, what then?
😏Meme: Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bawdy offense 11 and particularly tasteless. Since when is VD funny?
😏Meme: Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well who'd want to sit with such a stinky, rude, low-class slob? If you can't behave any better and you're so taken up with being a farting pervert, you don't belong in church, you belong in a zoo.
😏Meme: Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: "midget" ? seriously? You're still using that? Anyway why not just put "small children" instead? Oh, but then I could debunk this gross stupidity by telling you that I remember being a little kid in an elevator and there was nothing different-smelling about it than to anywhere else and that hasn't changed. (Bawdy offense 12)
😏Meme: Now send it to 10 or more people. Nothing will happen but 10 people laughing.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: How about at least one of them getting disgusted? Even if that disgust isn't expressed by the receiver to the forwarder, it still counts as an understandably negative reaction. No, I won't send this dirty pile of so-called "Chinese proverbs" to 10 or any number of people.
If you wanted to make a series of these dirty groaners, you could've made them with the same pun drollery without giving it a racist twist by calling them "Chinese proverbs" but you have just dissed the Chinese, making them out as a bunch of gutter-minded slobs.
Shame on you!
So let's stack up all of your glowing characteristics as far as this chain letter you originated, goes.
You live in a glass house, you own just one chopstick and you stand on the toilet.
You shouldn't drive and you don't have enough sense to get out of the way of a car and you're stupid enough to try running behind so you can get "exhausted" .
You hate baseball because you confuse some of the sports equipment with things that shouldn't be seen in public.
All you think about when you go through a turnstyle is banging your silly little...nevermind...
You pick fights with your wife so she'll get upset and then you think that gives you the excuse to leave and go prowling cat houses and you think catching something from that is funny.
You're so thick that you can't tell the difference between a baby (your own kid no less) and a screw.
You don't even possess the smarts to know what pockets are really for.
You go around trying to smell bodily odors in crowded elevators.
You feel yourself, scratch your butt and then bite your nails and fart in church, and probably any other public place and you don't know why everybody with any sense, including sense of smell, avoids you like the plague.
So, again, why on earth did she marry you?
One last thing:
Ewwwwww, GET AWAY!
Over and out!
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