Here's how you vanquish a chain letter creep by writing a completely different story that creams her.
Once, there came into the realm of nonexistence this perma-aged 10 year old kid named Clarissa.
She didn't like her parents, or her friends.
But Clarissa did love horror, and spreading scary hoaxes, playing mean and freaky pranks, and managing to scare people into believing and doing things at her will.
One night, she got into trouble when her parents found out about an instance of Clarissa's bad behavior in school, this time, it had caused injury to one of her classmates.
She was up in her room, reading and copying something from a few sheets that had been tucked inside a workbook.
"Clarissa!" her mum was heard calling from the kitchen.
"What!?" Clarissa called back in the most irritated tone, as if she was being terribly inconvenienced.
"Would you come down here please?"
Clarissa heaved a very heavy, huffy sigh, slammed the book shut, threw her sheet and pencil on the bed, slammed out of her room and stomped downstairs.
"Clarissa, did you push Tom off his bike after school today?
Clarissa's mouth fell open but only for a moment. She soon recovered, ready to lie her way out of trouble as she often had before. "No!"
"Then how do you explain his going to the hospital for stitches and cuts and bruises on his face?"
"Oh please, Tom hates me!" Clarissa whined. "He blames me for everything that happens to him! He could walk into a door and say it's my fault too!"
"Clarissa - I want the truth now."
"I didn't! He's lying!"
"That was his mum calling. She says you pushed him down, took a book with one of his assignments he's working on and threatened him with tearing it up if he told anyone."
"That's a lie!" Clarissa snapped. "But of course you'd believe him instead of your own daughter!"
"Clarissa!"
She didn't listen to anything else her mother had to say. She only did what was usual for her in situations like this, stomp back up to her room and slam the door.
Her mother and father talked downstairs for a while, probably in the hopes of Clarissa cooling off, and to try working out what to do about her bad behavior.
Clarissa wasted no time getting back to copying Tom's assignment. When she had finished, she put her name on it and was just about to tear up Tom's work to put in the trash.
Just then, her mother knocked on the bedroom door, interrupting her.
"Yeah?" Clarissa asked, trying to cover up her startlement with annoyance.
"Can I come in?"
"I suppose."
Clarissa quickly crumpled up Tom's assignment and tossed it in the garbage, put hers on the bed and opened the door.
Her mother tried again to get to the bottom of things, but no matter how gentle she was about it, Clarissa was determined to be difficult.
Eventually Clarissa was found out, and as a result, she was grounded for two weeks. In addition, Tom's workbook was taken away, so was the garbage from which the assignment was retrieved. Now, Clarissa would have to start her assignment from scratch, and it was due in two days.
"I wish you'd drop dead!" Clarissa raged. She was so mad at her parents for not letting her have her own way, and at Tom, who she blamed for the whole thing, that she got on her computer to write a chain letter hoax about their deaths.
She did some browsing, hoping to get some really scary ideas for putting into this hoax.
It wasn't long before she found a site with some videos. They weren't gory enough for her taste, but some of the comments were. Several comments were hoaxes similar to hers about another murderous girl called Jenny.
So, she decided to go with little girl Jenny's hoax but with a few big differences. Instead of writing herself as being abused in a cell by her mother, Clarissa started putting together a story about murdering her own parents.
Clarissa liked the part in Jenny's story about being imprisoned, but couldn't work that out yet.
More browsing brought her to web sites with themes about being locked up in asylums, botched executions, and wild conspiracy theories. Although she didn't understand much of the conspiracy theory stuff, she got just enough out of them to expand on her great hoax idea.
However, when she checked her email, something else made her angry.
Joanna had sent her a note, saying she had to cancel the sleepover party for the following weekend because of Clarissa's grounding. Clarissa's mother had called Joanna's place and canceled it.
Clarissa was so angry that she couldn't control herself. She sprang up from her seat at the computer and stomped over to her dresser. There, she took the picture she had of the last birthday party with her friends and tore it up. Joanna had been in it.
Feeling somewhat calmer, Clarissa stalked back to her computer to write Joanna's death into the chain letter.
Once the meme was completed, Clarissa sent copies to a fake address for Jenny, to Tom, and to Joanna.
Satisfied with herself, Clarissa went to bed.
But she didn't sleep well.
She dreamed about getting carted away in a straight jacket, locked up in a room, and finally sitting in some sort of chair of agony.
The next morning, she awoke, glad to have survived the bad dream she had apparently devised for herself.
But while that nightmare might have been over, a new one was just starting.
Clarissa soon discovered she was alone at home. Her parents were nowhere.
She got herself ready for school without an ounce of concern about her suddenly absent parents. "So much for grounding me, you stupid creeps." she smirked on her way out the door.
However, when she got to school, no one greeted her. Everyone was there, even Tom, who had to mind his stitched up head but was otherwise fine. But no one looked at Clarissa or said a single thing to her.
"Fine, ignore me!" she huffed as she took her seat at the beginning of class.
All around her, classmates were talking and muttering until the teacher quieted them, and then took attendance.
The teacher said the names as she checked them off, and then she came to:
"Clarissa's not here,"
"Yes, I am!" Clarissa jumped up and shouted.
No one reacted, and the teacher only continued on to the next name, marking Clarissa as absent.
"What? I don't get it! Why is everybody ignoring me!?" Clarissa whined, pounding her desk.
Still, no one reacted.
Nothing Clarissa said or did seemed to register with anyone. What was going on?
At lunch, Tom was the popular guy, everyone asked him how his head was, and they all continued to ignore Clarissa as if she wasn't there.
However, the subject of Clarissa came up when Joanna bemoaned the cancelation of their sleepover and how unfair it was for both sets of parents to do such a thing.
"I wonder if that's why Clarissa's not here today? asked Ashley.
"They wouldn't ground her from school, though." Joanna replied.
"Then she's probably just playing hooky." Ashley grinned.
"I'm here, you blockheads!"
But Clarissa's protest was completely ignored, and the girls continued chattering.
Tom sat quietly, playing games on his smartphone, and then he checked his messages. He was surprised and rather amused to receive a chain letter about a girl named Clarissa. Tom passed it on as a joke, but only sent it to five people. His address book was very small, since he had been more into sports than chatting until the day before, and now he had to take things easy.
Joanna checked her cell phone and was freaked out at receiving the same chain letter. She found she was only one address shy of the twenty that Clarissa told her to forward to, and, scared to death, sending the meme to 19 was the best she could manage.
The meme spread from there, managing to make its way onto at least one web site, a number of times.
But that very afternoon when the lunch hour was through, Tom and Joanna were nowhere to be seen.
The teacher was puzzled by this, but class carried on as usual.
Clarissa was never so happy to see a school day end. Being completely ignored as if she didn't exist was turning out to be a punishment far worse than grounding. She planned to make her parents pay for it. You see, Clarissa blamed her parents for getting her ignored at school.
Her parents were still nowhere to be found when she got home. She now started looking and calling for them, but got no answer.
Calling Joanna's place only resulted in someone on the other end hanging up, thinking no one was there.
Several more days passed, and still, no parents. And now Joanna and Tom were absent from school without explanation.
Then, more students inexplicably vanished. They had all passed Clarissa's meme on to others, some managing to spam the required number of 20 people. To make things even more peculiar, the teacher didn't even seem concerned. Her class dwindled down to six people, and the names of all who had passed on the meme as instructed, had simply vanished out of the school records and out of the minds of those running the school.
One day when the principal was discussing the small number of students with the teacher, Clarissa lurked about them to listen in and try to make her presence known.
That was when she found out the teacher and principal were talking as if that class had always been so small, and were hoping to get more students for that grade in the coming year. They did not speak of the class as having been a large one of about 30 pupils, dwindling down to 6, but as if there had only been 6 students in that classroom since back in September.
In the few days before this meeting with the principal, Clarissa had tried repeatedly to approach the teacher and talk to her, but the teacher just looked right through her and carried on with marking papers and jotting down notes. When someone else entered the room, the teacher acknowledged them. But she never seemed to notice Clarissa.
The only spark of happiness for Clarissa came whenever she heard about or happened to see evidence of her meme spreading on the internet. This gave her a new burst of energized strength for a while, but every time this meme was met with annoyed rather than frightened responses, Clarissa felt like she had been hit in the stomach and was starting to die.
Every night, she would prowl about, carrying her knife, looking to frighten people.
And every night, she failed.
This was because the person would vanish before she could get close enough for them to be aware of her.
As the days dragged on, Clarissa began feeling as if she was actually starting to go mad. Was it only a matter of time before they would come to haul her off to the funny farm?
One night, she got a powerful boost when her meme took a web site by storm with one person admittedly freaked out. The others responding were not, however, and they were making Clarissa mad by doubting her.
No matter. As long as she could get one person dreading the coming Monday night, that would keep her going for a while.
However, as she took her huge toy knife and went on the prowl one night, she got the surprise of her life.
She just saw another potential victim's house fade out of site as she had been about to step onto the driveway and look for a way to enter.
"Stupid house!" she raged. "Why isn't this chain letter working!?"
She stomped off in another direction.
Suddenly, she came to another dwelling, and found herself suspended in mid air, at an upper window.
She was sure to get in this time!
But a moment later, her eyes went wide.
She was looking into a bedroom, with a window that had a computer desk in front of it. And at that computer sat a person.
Clarissa couldn't see much of this person other than a head of light coloured short hair. But the quick clicking sounds coming from the computer keyboard indicated this person was definitely wide awake.
Curiosity and anticipation getting the better of her, Clarissa tried to peek over top of and around the monitor that was keeping much of the figure from view. Maybe this person was typing because she had already been scared into frantically forwarding Clarissa's meme to twenty people.
Just then, the person stopped typing and rose from her seat. On her face was not an expression of fear, but of triumph. For a moment, she grinned at Clarissa, and it was not a nice grin.
Clarissa, denied once again, was about to turn and leave.
But she couldn't.
Clarissa found herself frozen at the window, suspended in mid air.
Then, she saw the monitor whirl around to face her.
Before she knew what was happening, Clarissa felt herself being pulled into and through the window by some unseen force.
Then, to her astonishment and bitter shock, there on the screen was her chain letter, mangled to pieces by someone whose name was apparently Ocean Elf.
As Clarissa had very little choice but read what was now in front of her, watched and heard the meme as it scrolled, recited in her own voice. Throughout that, she heard another voice, tearing it apart with guffaws and cutting comments. This was Clarissa's real seat of agony.
It seemed to go on forever, and by the time the meme-mangler got to calling Clarissa a mad gorilla, Clarissa was shedding tears of outrage and powerlessness.
As the mangle ended, Clarissa felt a pair of arms taking a fierce hold of her as the words "You belong to me..." were spoken right behind her.
She cried out.
Ocean Elf only laughed. "Nobody can hear you, and no one ever will." She wrenched the knife out of Clarissa's hand and smashed it down hard on a dresser so that it broke in two, then melted away into nothingness.
"Hey!" Clarissa yelled.
"Let's see you try to conjure up another one, little girl." the elf jeered.
"Let me go!" Clarissa shouted.
"Why should I?" the elf countered. "It's not like you have anywhere you need to be, or anything to go back to."
"My parents - "
"They're dead, remember? You killed them with your meme."
"No! I just said they were killed, it was just a hoax!"
"Your hoax killed them."
"No!" Clarissa screamed. Then, she remembered something else, something she hoped to use as an appeal or to at least trip this debunker up. "But I died in the hoax too, and I'm still here!"
"That's because you are dealive, not dead. Being dealive means you say you're dead yet you'll run around killing people to make them pass on your memes.
"What about my friends, Tom and Joanna?"
"What about them?" Ocean Elf countered tersely.
"Are they dead?"
"They're too nonexistent to even be dead."
"What do you mean?" Clarissa asked frantically. "They just disappeared from school!"
"Yes, just like you did...Because they forwarded your meme just as it said. If they hadn't, they would probably exist somewhere, but your meme made sure they never existed to begin with."
"No, that's not true! I could go talk to Joanna's mum tomorrow and - "
"No you couldn't. Joanna never existed and neither do you. You blipped yourself and all your friends right out of ever having existed. Right out of history."
"You're lying!"
"Am I?" the elf countered with a scowl.
The scene shifted, and Clarissa saw Joanna's family having a picnic on a wonderful sunny afternoon. The mother and father were there, so was Joanna's little brother, and the father was just saying a prayer before they all tucked into lunch. He could be heard thanking God for the beautiful day, the good food, and the blessing of family and how happy he was to have his entire family around him.
"No wait, you forgot Joanna!" Clarissa cried out.
The man didn't hear her. Neither did anyone else.
"I just told you," said the elf sternly, as the scene faded and returned to her room, "There is no Joanna, and there never was. You became dealive on the Monday night you started your hoax and that's why you never showed up at school again after the bike incident."
"No! I WAS there! Everybody just kept ignoring me and then all my class disappeared! Or most of them."
"They weren't ignoring you. It stinks to be nonexistent doesn't it?"
"Stop laughing at me! This isn't funny you know!" Clarissa wailed.
"None of this would've happened if you hadn't tried to bully everyone with a meme, and your friends weren't such fools."
If I'm nonexistent like my friends, why can't I talk to them?"
Because you're the one who started that meme." the elf replied.
"Is that why everybody I try to scare just vanishes before I can get close enough?"
"The ones who vanish are people who haven't seen or forwarded your chain letter."
"Then how did I get here with you?"
"While you were so busy looking for people to scare, I discovered you."
"But you're not scared."
"Of course not. But I'll bet you are. Funny how things can backfire, isn't it?" the elf smirked.
Feeling traumatized, Clarissa didn't know what else to do but appeal for help. "Can't I at least see my mum?"
"No, she's dead, and you wanted it that way. You can't fix this and your friends don't exist. You'll never see any of them again because you entangled them in a death chain letter. And yes, you stink like wet dog and mad gorilla! And you're without your knife. You won't be able to get your hands on another one, because you'd have to exist for that."
"How could you do this to me!?" Clarissa howled.
"I didn't, Clarissa, you brought it all on yourself with that meme."
"No!"
"Oh, yes. I'll continue to mangle your hoax meme wherever I see it cropping up.
"I hate you!" Clarissa wailed.
"Good," came the reply, "I'd be a bit worried if you liked me. Now, it's time for your exit. I'm declaring you dormant until there's a part for you in another piece of fiction. Hopefully a much better story than the one you concocted."
With that, Clarissa began shrinking away in Ocean Elf's grip until she had melted away into nothing.
"Mission accomplished." the elf chuckled. "And now, I can call it a night."
With that, she turned off her computer, climbed into bed and slept like a baby until morning.
For a few more months, Clarissa seemed to have been forgotten, for the most part, dormant just as Ocean Elf had wanted. Other dealive chain letter kids had the misfortune to run into this meme-mangler and get clobbered and laughed at.
As summer turned to Autumn, Clarissa began suddenly to feel a sort of life coming back to her. Could this be? Had she overcome the dormancy and escaped that horrible elf?
Someone on Yahoo Answers posted her chain letter and seemed to be scared! This was like holy water running through Clarissa, she could live again!
"Haw haw! I'm bigger and better and more scarier than anybody! And I'm free to terrorize you all once again!" Clarissa skipped about Cyberspace, brandishing another knife she stole off some other dealive kid.
The answers to the chain post on Yahoo were typically annoyed, which started bursting Clarissa's bubble, just as before on other sites.
One weekend, Clarissa began her prowl early, but still had no success frightening more people than she annoyed. The annoyed reactions drained her so much by Saturday night that she was starting to have doubts she could hold on until Monday.
Eventually she came to a house where she heard music, and decided to stop, listen and rest up.
Bad move, Clarissa, bad move!
The music stopped after a while, and soon after that, Clarissa felt herself being drawn in through a back door. How this was managed, she had no idea, but it reminded her of the time she got stuck suspended at a window and had been trounced that time. So this couldn't be good.
"Ah, Clarissa,, we meet again." A woman said in a menacing tone of voice. Clarissa knew it from somewhere, but where? This place wasn't the bedroom she had been dragged into before. What was going on here?
"So good of you to drop in." the woman smirked, grinning wickedly.
"Huh!?" Clarissa recoiled, it now hitting her whose house she had stumbled into again. "You're not - that elf - "
"I am..." came the firm reply. "Did you really think you could pull this again and stay out of my way?"
"Oh, I gotta run!" Clarissa turned to bolt out the back door. But she couldn't glide through it the way she had on the way in. "ACK! Lemme out!"
"No." said Ocean Elf, who had stood, leaving the laptop on the kitchen table to advance on Clarissa. "I told you before, that I would mangle your stupid meme wherever I can."
"You killed my parents and friends, I still can't find them!" Clarissa turned on the tears. Crying had been another trick she'd sometimes used in the past, to get people giving into her.
It didn't work on Ocean Elf.
"Have you forgotten already?" she said in an impatient, disgusted tone, "Your meme did them all in. That hasn't changed. Besides, it could turn out pretty badly for you if I wrote them back in for you."
"I don't understand! It couldn't be any worse." Clarissa sniveled.
"Trust me, it can." the elf replied with a rather unpleasant smile. "But one good thing that would come out of that would be that everyone would know you and your stupid meme are a pack of lies and nobody would get scared by you."
"That's no fair, no fun!" Clarissa protested.
"So, which is it, Clarissa? Do you love bullying people with your meme, or do you love your parents and friends more?"
"Well if everybody had stopped being so mean to me, I wouldn't have started this meme!" Clarissa retorted.
"I thought as much," the elf said abruptly, taking hold of Clarissa, "You haven't changed, or learned a thing. It's back to being dormant for you, and don't think I won't find out and trounce you again if you manage to revive and start flitting about all over Cyberspace in subsequent mutations of this meme."
Clarissa struggled, the knife broke and melted away, and once again, Clarissa faded away into nothingness.
Ocean Elf returned to her computer to wrap up something she had been working on, determined that Clarissa would never be free of her.
Sure enough. Every time Clarissa managed to circulate and scare people, Be it on Yahoo Answers in November 2011, or via silly Facebook posting by page owners in their notes, and Shannon Jennings in late March 2012, Clarissa got trounced, her chain exposed and mangled for the gunk it was. Clarissa tried another come-back a month later, and was smacked down to dormancy.
Until…
One weekend, Ocean Elf had been trying unsuccessfully to create a forum that didn't use those stupid captcha codes. But every site she tried, eventually turned out to impose those obnoxious, user-unfriendly monsters.
Her mood wasn't made any better when she got a reply from some doofus on a Youtube video.
Apparently MisterTrueromance, (no kidding, that was his handle,) thought anyone who had the nerve to trounce Clarissa, must think themselves some kind of hero, and, it was just too scary that Clarissa couldn't kill twenty people all at once on a Monday night.
Clarissa was mistaken if she thought she could make the mangler back off by enlisting the help of a troll to spread her stupid hoax.
Ocean Elf only mangled what he said as well and continued exposing Clarissa for the fraud she was. It was back to the cyber holding pen again.
Another weekend in June 2012, when it was rainy and drizzly outside, and Ocean Elf had received some dismaying news not related to chain letters at all, but about someone she had known, she was very, very downhearted.
On that Friday night, she checked out her email, and was given a reason to spring into action to give Clarissa another thrashing.
"Please Ocean Elf hear me out, I am very scared I read the stereo type story." came Izzy's call for reassurance.
"Stereotype story?" Ocean Elf thought. "Clarissa's chain is going under that title now, is it?"
Izzy continued. "I saw it on Weeworld.com I can not get any sleep tonight this is URGENT."
"Clarissa will be the one not sleeping tonight," the elf muttered with a scowl.
She checked out Weeworld.com but saw nothing there. It appeared as if you might have to register to see the content, unless something was messed up with the server or browser etc.
But this call for help was coming from the Clarissa page, so Ocean Elf listened to what Izzy had to say.
"I do not want to die."
And you won't die, Izzy." Ocean Elf wanted her to know. "There is no way this twisted fairy-tale chain letter can kill anybody."
"I need you to stop it."
"I'd love to stop everyone from spamming the net with this junk, but the best I can do is mangle memes and try to help people not be frightened of them."
"I did not send it to any people." Izzy continued.
At this, Ocean Elf smiled but Clarissa got a stabbing pain in the ego!
Then you have done the right thing, Izzy, and you've done what you could to stop the meme from going any further. That is very good." Ocean Elf said.
"I read this and felt okay at first, now my stomach hurts and I cn't sleep, It may not be monday but I still want to live ! Please Help !"
Ocean Elf scowled, went to the holding cell where Clarissa was, and shook her.
Hey!" Clarissa yelped. "What was that for?"
For thinking you could get away with this bullying crap again!"
Hey it's not my fault some people scare themselves sick over me - "
Clarissa was cut off by a slap to the face. "You were the one who came up with this meme, you were the one who wanted to get your sick kicks scaring young kids. Your idea, your fault!" With that," the elf shoved Clarissa back into the cell and slammed the door, tight.
She had this to say to Izzy:
"Glad to help you out. Just remember, I keep mangling Clarissa's meme every time there's an outbreak, and I'm not dead. No chain letter can kill you. Otherwise, computers would be treated like nuclear weapons and not available to the general public. Sleep tight. Many more Mondays will come and go and no stinky 10-year-old mad gorilla girl will get you."
Izzy replied, showing the link.
Grateful, Ocean Elf checked it out. She was hoping to get an account on WeeWorld so she could debunk clarissa there as well.
Sure enough, there it was.BlackSinner spammed Clarissa's meme on weeWorld.
Unfortunately, there seemed to be some browser and inaccessibility issues, and Ocean Elf couldn't create an account on weeWorld to make a reply on that page with links to the meme-mangling.
Clarissa went into a brief hibernation until late September 2012, when she got the bright idea to revise and restart her hoax.
"Weeeeee!" She squealed with glee. And this time, she was sure not to get in trouble for killing her parents and friends and have her meme mangled like what happened with the last mutations.
This time, she enlisted an intruder to do the killing of her parents and then she would claim innocence, going as far as having the meme claim she didn't want her parents dead, even though they shut her up in a mental hospital.
This time, she was pretty sure that even the mangler would be intimidated by her newfound intruder friend and wouldn't dare to mangle her new hoax mutation or put her out of commission again.
Clarissa went gleefully about scaring some people with this new mutation, but she and her intruder always met with the same problem when it came to trying to kill anyone. People disappeared on them just as they always had.
Also this new meme didn't blip her parents and friends out of the nonexistence the first mutation had put them in.
Then they came to a house that should've been somewhat familiar to Clarissa by now.
"Oh, this should be good. With you here, she'll be so scared she won't touch me, and maybe we can get her to kill some people for us." Clarissa said to her friend.
He said nothing but stupidly went along with her like some lapdog.
Clarissa and her friend came in through the back deck door and found themselves being compelled to go down to the basement.
"So, Clarissa, back for another buttkicking? Will you never learn?"
"I don't think you'll want to do that," Clarissa taunted, "I'm not alone."
"I'm here too." her friend spoke up next.
"Ocean Elf, you will help us murder all the staff or else." said Clarissa.
But the elf didn't shrink back in terror as Clarissa had anticipated.
"Hard to murder people that don't exist. I've been expecting you, dude." she stood up, putting her computer aside. "What a sap, doing her dirty work and then taking the fall, the whole wrap for her."
"Oh, you are impossible!" Clarissa threw her hands up in the air.
"Impossible to dupe with your stupid hoax, well yeah." Ocean Elf shot back. "Anyway, what's the deal with that killing room thing at the mental hospital? Dude, you might want to explain how and why that thing nearly blew up the whole freaking building."
"You stupid dope!" Clarissa exclaimed, glaring at her companion.
"Stop calling me stupid!" he protested angrily.
The elf snickered.
"You were supposed to put the bomb in the staffroom!" Clarissa drawled, twirling a finger backward at her temple.
"I thought it was the staffroom, there were computers there!" he retorted.
"There you are, Clarissa, clobbered by your own stupid hoax again." Ocean Elf sneered.
Clarissa pulled a really nasty face, then looked at her sidekick. "Shut her up!" she ordered.
"Like he could." said the elf. "I wouldn't try it if I was him."
Looking at the intruder goof, she continued, "I don't know what the deal is with you and Clarissa's parents but the only reason that girl brought you into her dumb hoax was so she could try to duck out of responsibility as the main character for all this stupidity and dump it - all - on - you! Are you gonna put up with that?"
"She wouldn't do that! She was so sweet, so helpless, always crying her parents abused her." he gushed.
The elf glared at Clarissa in disgust, then turned to her companion. "Wrong, dude. see?" Ocean Elf sat back down to resume working furiously at her computer. In a few moments, she brought up a copy of clarissa's chain letters, in all their mutations for him to see.
It was all there. The first one, where she wrote about killing her parents all on her own, and then some of the staff and friends via meme. No mention of him until the third mutation.
He couldn't deny what he saw. She blamed him for the murders and claimed innocence.
"I did all that for you and this is the thanks I get!?" he exploded.
Ocean Elf grinned.
"I never wanted you to kill my parents!"
"that's not what you told me!" he retorted.
"Well, you got what you wanted then, Clarissa, he didn't kill them, you did, with your hoax.
"Shut up, Elf!" Clarissa shouted.
"Dude, clarissa only wrote you in as a last minute plot improvement. You're about to go to cyber-jail for something you didn't do. though that killing room thing, I'm not willing to declare you innocent of that."
"I can't believe you talked me into any of this!" he shouted at Clarissa. "I'm done with you!"
"But I'm not done with either of you." said Ocean Elf.
A few more moments of her typing on her computer, and the nameless intruder disappeared.
"Wha!?" Clarissa exclaimed.
"Well, you wrote him into this hoax in the first place, Clarissa, he could just as easily be - written - out."
Ocean Elf's email notifier sounded, and it was more bad news for Clarissa.
"Oh, cool, another best answer." Ocean Elf checked the email from Yahoo Answers and grinned. "Oh, wow, this should make your day, Clarissa."
The web page was opened. Not only was it a best answer for Ocean Elf, but everyone who answered, and even the questioner ended up laughing at the utter stupidity of Clarissa's meme hoax.
Once again, Clarissa was faced with being unable to become real and kill anyone, and once again, she got keelhauled back into the state she kept trying to get out of, the lulz withdrawal, the powerlessness, having to endure the scowls not only from Ocean Elf, but the mocking coming from others who were learning not to be frightened of her.
Clarissa never did kill any real people with her meme, and this was her self-inflicted agony.
The only other things Ocean Elf could offer anyone who reached out for help because of Clarissa's false intimidation, were things dealive chain freaks were sure to hate.
1. A suggestion to do something they loved, unrelated to the hoax that would take their minds off it until they stopped being afraid.
2. A challenge to all: to stop letting chain letters bully them any longer.
It goes like this:
I challenge every one of you who likes creative writing, that if you are even tempted to be scared of the Clarissa hoax chain, to try to write your own meme-mangle, or your own Clarissa story about how you or your favourite fictional characters would trounce Clarissa. Try it. You should soon stop being frightened of her. Apply the story and mangle approach to any and all other chain letter hoaxes to come your way.
Here are some links to help you learn about meme-mangling, what it is, and why it is needed.
Why mangle Chain Letters? The Mission meme-mangling 101
Death Chain Letters And The Meaning Of The Word Dealive
For more on chain letters:
Spreading chain letter hoaxes around as if you actually believe them is spam. Spreading them in the hopes of creeping others out so they'll replicate them, or just trying to annoy others with reposts is spam plus trolling, and neither of these is cool.
In addition, this activity will make you enemies and ruin your reputation.
So, don't believe in and spread Clarissa. Believe me, you will not die. don't tell me you're still scared of her after reading all of this stuff, because you simply have no excuse to be scared, none...
Ocean Elf wrote this Clarissa story, along with the Clarissa mangle found here, and the the initial mangle of the "Annie's CD Life" chain here at this link. So please give credit where credit is due. all such stories and meme-mangles by Ocean Elf and fellow meme-manglers are originally found at MangleTheMemes, associated sites, or on their own respective personal home pages.
Thanks.