🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, great, another flaky one.
This is unbelievably cheesy.
The "friendship contract" for (insert whatever year) it went around in 2008 and 2009, etc. and will continue turning up around New Year's for as long as people re-share the memes.
2008 Contract found at Fwditon.com Contract Of Friendship 2008 2008 the honey version 2009 Contract of Friendship 2009
🤡Meme: 20xx Contract - read carefully before agreeing!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Or what?
🤡Meme: -----
After serious & cautious consideration.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 20xx!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gee, thanks for letting me know you had trouble deciding if you wanted to stay my friend or not, and drawing up a freaking contract on it!
🤡Meme: It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Considering you already did, I have nothing to worry about.
🤡Meme: My Wish for You in 20xx
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That I praise you for your chain letters and that I pass them on, right?
🤡Meme: May peace break into your house
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As if there isn't already peace here for the most part. Too bad this chain letter broke into my inbox. Argh! The cheesiness!
🤡Meme: and may thieves come to steal your debts.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No thief would do that, even if I had debts, which I don't.
🤡Meme: May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: When they start making bank notes out of metal and making jeans with magnetic pockets, sure, but that won't happen before then.
🤡Meme: May love stick to your face like Vaseline/honey
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ewch, no, thank you! I don't want to be kissed by a honey pot or a tub of vaseline!
🤡Meme: and may laughter assault your lips!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, no thanks! I don't want to get assaulted every time I laugh!
🤡Meme: May your clothes smell of success like smoking tyres
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yuck! When I smell smoking tyres, I think of anything but success!
🤡Meme: and may happiness slap you across the face
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: How in the world can happiness do that unless you're a Lady Une fan and you dream about her slapping you? You'd have to be pretty warped to appreciate that. No, happiness doesn't slap, that's just the point.
🤡Meme: and may your tears be that of joy.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: They often are, I always laugh myself into tears and sometimes cry for pure joy. But this chain letter certainly isn't doing it for me.
🤡Meme: May the problems you had forget your home address!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Problems are problems no matter where you live. If I moved across town, I'd still have the same problems I'd have here. They don't forget addresses, they get solved, eventually, or at least accepted as something that can't be changed.
🤡Meme: May 20xx be the best year of your life!!!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And what about the years to come? Not every year can be the best year of my life. Why don't you just be reasonable and say "Happy New Year!" ?
Over and out.
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