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I Am Thankful - For The Most Ridiculous Reasons!

Ugh! This one actually managed to make me less thankful for the internet! It's an incredibly screwed up drip that implies we should be thankful for a list of things that start out as implied complaints. And some of these aren't even deserving of complaint in the first place. The hot dogs thing... Really? Come on!

To the doofus who originated this manipulative piece of dreck, prepare yourself. It's about to be turned on its head, inside out, upside down and just not what you were hoping... You tried an emotional heart-yank with this. Our reactions should make your head spin.

Mangle time!

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💬Meme: I am thankful:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Yawn*

🙍‍♂️Meme: for the wife, who says it's hot dogs tonight, because she is home with me and not out with someone else.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Dude, if this is how you think, you scare me. Do you worry every time your wife can't spend every dinner at home with you? Do you even let her have a girl's night out every once in a while? Anyway, don't knock hotdogs, some of us think they are a very tasty treat! I suppose you'd rather she made you a prime rib dinner with a soufflé, caviar, a really fancy dessert, and champagne?

🙎Meme: for the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Chick, you scare me for the same reason. Are you so insecure that you think your husband is out at the bars every time he's not being a couch potato for you?

🙎🙎‍♂️Meme: for the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes, because it means she is at home, and not on the streets.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So I wasn't the only teenager who thought doing dishes was a drag. Anyway, just because she isn't doing one doesn't mean she has to be doing the other.

🙍‍♂️🙍‍♀️Meme: for the taxes I pay, because it means I am employed.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And if you were unemployed, you might be thankful for the welfare check or UI insurance, yeah, I get it already. Still not thankful for taxes, though. They always suck.

🙎🙎‍♂️Meme: for the mess to clean after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually, I'd be thankful for the party itself. You need to stop making up silly complaints disguised as thanks over indirect non-issues, or reasons to be thankful for things that just come along with the more pleasant stuff in life.

🙎‍♂️Meme: for the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for the love! Ever heard of wearing stuff in your own size? Yeah, I'm grateful for getting enough to eat, too, but I'm not going to gush over the virtues of thanking everything under the sun if I can't be reasonably comfortable.

👩‍🔧👷Meme: for my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? I just don't get this one, I honestly don't. What's the matter with having a shadow? It can't do anything to you.

🙍🙍‍♂️Meme: for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Awwww, can't you just hear those corny violins again? How about being thankful about things without first prefacing them with some kind of complaint? Because this really sounds contrived and pretentious.

🕴Meme: for all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means we have freedom of speech.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You must be kidding me, right? Oh, wait, you're probably referring to living in a communist country or some other sort of dictatorship, where people aren't allowed to breathe the wrong way. Well, that doesn't mean we should be thankful for every other kind of junk getting spewed out there in the name of "free speech"

🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️Meme: for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah! *Scowls* That's even more pathetic than what I thought you were going to say. In fact, it has gone from pathetic to odious. It would've been bad enough if you said you were thankful you had a car, or could afford the car you have to get you there. But did you ever stop to think about how this absolutely condescends to people who can't walk? Wow look at you, you are sooo much more fortunate and better than they are, give yourself a huge pat on the back for being so incredibly thankful! Sheesh, give me a break!

🧖Meme: for my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Until the expense gets hiked up even more and you run out of money.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Anyway, that's just stupid. How about being thankful for the means to keep warm instead? You don't have to be thankful for literally everything. This is just way over-the-top.

🙎Meme: for the lady behind me in church who sings off key, because it means I can hear.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! Blah blah blah...blah...blah...blah... Once again, that is really stinking condescending against people who can't hear! You're saying you feel you are so much better off than they are, how do you think that makes them feel to read this self-serving crock of manure? Next thing you'll say you're thankful for something like: that bird poop you have to wipe off the hood of your car because you have hands that work right and can clean it up. Or you're thankful for that big honkin age-spot on your cheek and the huge zit on your nose that shows up in the mirror because it means you can see!

🙍Meme: for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually you don't until you do the laundry. So how about being more realistic about it instead of all this belly-aching disguised as "thankfulness" that really makes you look like a terrible bore who's trying way too hard to appear virtuous? Trust me, you just come off as ridiculous.

🙍Meme: for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You are one messed up I-dunno-what. If I was to be thankful for anything related to working hard, it would be the accomplishments, not the aches and pains that resulted. Besides, did you ever stop to consider the fact that some people cannot work hard physically because they are already in pain and it debilitates them?

🛌Meme: for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You know what? When I'm ready to wake up, I'm always thankful for being alive. So there. And there are times I'd rather sleep in. There's nothing wrong with that and it doesn't detract from being thankful for living. Got that?

👯👯‍♂️Meme: and finally, for too many emails, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Are you thankful for the spam as well because it means you can get on the net?

I am thankful for the honest personally written emails from my friends.

I am not, however, thankful for any memes, and there is a very good reason for that.

When friends re-share instead of writing their own notes, they aren't really thinking of you, you know. They have just been wowed by some viral that could've come from anywhere and is already circulating like mad.

I am not thankful for memes sent to mailing lists or posted on the web because people actually thought they were something great or alarming or take your pick of emotion...

This particular chain is a huge heart-yank designed to make you feel bad for not being thankful enough for every little discomfort or inconvenience because there's always someone else worse off than you. The topper, being the last statement about too many emails. It's a veiled attempt at getting you to be thankful for receiving this chain letter and all other junk like it.

To sum it up, this meme tries to sound all deep and profound, and instead, as we have shown, it is just cloying and stupid!

Lol!

Over and out.

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