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Carolyn Bourne's Unfriendly, Snobby Letter

This is about a viral that started in mid 2011.

It had such an impact that was mentioned a year later in this article about the abysmally sorry conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, a conflict that really needs to die. It is truly disgusting how beastly in-laws act toward one another.

Monster-in-law Carolyn Bourne Needs To Learn Some Manners

Carolyn Bourne Not invited To Wedding

This article is called Lady Of The Manners.

In the spring of 2011, Heidi Withers set to marry Freddie Bourne, seriously though unintentionally cheesed off her future step-ma-in-law, who wrote her this unbelievably vicious, childish email, berating her behaviour and lamenting the idea that Heidi was to become the daughter-in-law at all.

Justly outraged, Heidi sent the toxic rant on to her friends, who turned it into a chain letter by passing it on to others, and it just took off from there, and one person who helped it go viral, upon was actually sorry for it and made a hand-written apology of all things, to Carolyn Bourne!

No one owes that woman any apology whatsoever.

Consequently, and justly, I might add, Carolyn was not invited to the wedding. Freddie would've liked his father to come, but was pretty sure he would not come without Carolyn. this is unfortunate, all the trouble Carolyn has caused. So needless, and all over manners and a ridiculous, outdated class system.

For once, I do not disapprove of something having become a meme, and it deserves a good mangling.

Here is another article with some additional information.

Heidi's father, Alan Withers, was justified in his outrage, and expressed himself with a lot more honesty and less vitriol than Carolyn.

In this article, even a therapist, Susan Forward, (yes, that's her name,) sides with Heidi, saying that she would be furious if she received a letter like Carolyn's.

Because Freddie Bourne's new wedding catering business, Mise-En-Bouche was revealed over the weekend after the vicious email went viral, some people accused him and Heidi of making up the whole manners email story as a big viral hoax to promote this business - an accusation which they deny.

It is so typical for some people to jump to such a conclusion whenever anyone involved in a story that zips around the world quickly, is discovered to own a business.

I do not believe this accusation, and would not put it past Carolyn to have started that rumor herself as a means of bitter retaliation because her embarrassing pety email trantrum got out.

This rather silly article gives out plenty of suggestions to make unwelcome houseguests regret staying with you, but it also appears to be in sympathy with Carolyn Bourne.

In fact, if you follow any of the suggestions in that article, you could end up receiving a Carolyn Bourne-like angry letter back from some particularly odious houseguest who is ticked off because you didn't bend over backward and wait on them hand and foot. And I'm speaking from personal experience, as I've had such an unwelcome houseguest who threw a tantrum via letter when I didn't just play right into her queen of the world fantasy.

But the article on houseguests is mistaken about Carolyn Bourne. She wasn't simply accused of being a snooty Mis Fancy-Pants, she actually IS one, it is there in her own ugly words.

This crummy article also didn't bother taking the time to explain that Carolyn Bourne is a bitter old bag who wouldn't give anyone 'beneath her station' the time of day, and she was most likely exaggerating her woe-is-me story of Heidi's supposed uncouthness just to villify Heidi and make herself look classier than she really is. The houseguest who outstayed her welcome in my home did exactly the same thing in her poisonous vitriolic letter.

By far the best articles putting things into perspective, especially once you have read Carolyn's flame-fest email, are these where Heidi and Freddie break their silence and give important insites into what really went on as opposed to Carolyn Bourne's distorted version of the truth.

Now, since this email has become a chain letter, yes, you guessed it - Mrs. Manners /Miss Fancy-Pants Carolyn Bourne's diatribe chain is about to get mangled!

Before we plunge in to that, however, I am pleased to announce that the couple did get married in mid Autumn 2011, congratulations!

The only problem is that, because of Carolyn's snooty stupidity, shallowness and stubbornness, Freddie's own father was unable to attend the wedding and had to give his well-wishes from a distance. As far as I am concerned, there would've been absolutely nothing wrong with him going to his own son's wedding without his wife. She is the only thing causing a problem. He should've been there, regardless of what Carolyn wanted, did, or said.

Want to see a video of Carolyn Bourne, gardener extraordinaire? Here you go.

Now, to the mangling of this meme, which I wrote back when the news broke. My feelings haven't changed about Mrs. Bourne's attitude shown in her nasty letter since then.

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Dear Mrs. Carolyn Bourne:

You should have minded your own business. You should not have sent an extremely volatile, offensive email designed to break the spirit of an innocent woman.

But, you have, resulting in it going public, and what outrage you earn from this fiasco, you deserve.

That is, genuine, justifiable outrage, nothing physically violent, and no death-wishes and the like. (Just a specification for the benefit of any morons out there who might think it would be fine to wish oar carry out actual bodily harm against you. Much as you disgust me, I do not wish you to be shot or any of the sorts of ideas seen suggested against the Botox Mom.)

I will go through your letter piece by piece and make comments throughout, as it has crossed my screen and become my business too. Your words will be prefaced with your own name, mine with my internet handle.

🆕📧📩📨

🆔From: 👹Carolyn Bourne

Sent: 10 May 2011 06:51

To: Heidi Withers

Subject: Manners

👹Carolyn Bourne: Heidi

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Uh Carolyn - (I will not address you formally as you do not deserve it and neither do you follow your own advice about manners. I am not a manners guru and do not pretend to be an expert on etiquette, but you do, and you use your antiquated ideas as a means of perpetuating a malicious agenda.

Having said that, I have some understanding of basic day to day manners pertaining to the average citizen where I come from, and will call you on every point of hypocrisy and failure on your part that I can find in this letter.

The salutation is the first in a long list of your failures.

If you're going to be this stuck on etiquette, you should have started your letter out with "Dear Heidi Withers:" regardless of your personal feelings about her.

👹Carolyn Bourne: Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Stop lying through spite and this obnoxious condescending mock pity. That is a high school bully tactic. The only person you really feel sorry for is yourself, otherwise you would n't have written this tactless tantrum car-wreck of a letter.

👹Carolyn Bourne: I am being kept awake – or woken early – by Bomber who is so profoundly upset by your behaviour on your recent visit that he is depressed and anxious.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, Carolyn, please, for the love of reality, he is a dog, not a traumatized child. Some dogs are calmer than others, obviously yours is very highstrung,, and that is understandable, given who his owner is. Your claim that heidi made him depressed is a pathetic joke. He is a dog, not a man, and if he has displayed any unusual temperment during heidi's visit, Carolyn, you alone are to blame, because you hate heidi, and your dog must have sensed you were just boiling mad the whole time. Animals are amazing at sensing the moods of other animals as well as the moods of their owners. You, Carolyn, were boiling with rage, and you covered it up the best you could, but your dog knew. he must've been afraid of you. You were cold and unwelcoming and not just on that last visit from Heidi.

It would be just like you to fabricate a tale about your precious pet being profoundly upset by Heidi. If your residence caught fire or suffered some natural disaster such as flood or earthquake during heidi's visit, I would not put it past you to blame her for that as well. You are simply hysterical and not to be believed.

One more small detail about your attempted sentence correction. 'woken up' is incorrect. The word is 'awakened.'

👹Carolyn Bourne: Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You cannot arrogantly predict another's fortune or misfortune. If Freddie and Heidi's marriage is a success, that will be their fortune, and your own misfortune. It is obvious you want them to break up, so I do not understand all that jaw and phoney concern of yours that Freddie "help" Heidi. Help her with what? Manners? Help her to leave him in order to make you happy? Help her be your perfect ideal of a wife for Freddie? Oh, but she would probably need to be as rich or richer than you for that to happen!

Carolyn, there is something you need to understand about marriage. It is not for the purpose of "helping" someone to be a perfect person for you. Marriage is supposed to be about two people loving each other, and I hope theirs is a success, with or without your meddling. Whatever they "help" each other with during this marriage, is, frankly, none of your business.

👹Carolyn Bourne: It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Who are you to decide who and what needs to "get through" to Heidi? You are not her parent. You are only her future step-mother-in-law. It is also clear you are certainly not interested in being her friend, so, you, lady, have no right and are way out of line. It is clear that you intend to stick by your backward opinions, that no one will succeed in getting through to you, because you are terminally stubborn and stuffy. Nevertheless, it needs to be said, for the sake of Heidi and anyone else similarly abused by you and your ilk.

👹Carolyn Bourne: Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's just your opinion. I have seen people exhibiting lack of manners and grace to the point where it would cause a stuck-up snob like you to have a stroke.

Now, to point out another obvious failure from you.

You chose to send her an email, sniping and cat-calling over something as subjective and trivial as lack of manners when you could have talked politely with her in private about your concerns, if warranted.

However, it is clear to me that your complaints are not warranted, and when it comes to bad behaviour, Heidi does not even rate next to your ten on a one-through-ten scale.

👹Carolyn Bourne: Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, Carolyn, not only have you put on an appalling display of pettiness, you have just revealed you are a terrible grudge carrier as well. Pettiness is also a lack of manners, and your letter is crammed with it from beginning to end. I would sooner sleep out in the rain than set foot in your residence lest you judge and treat me as shabbily as you do Heidi.

👹Carolyn Bourne: If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Failure again, Carolyn, big failure.

You do not speak for the whole family, especially when you yourself were not born into that family, but you married into it.

You are already on your third husband, and your first child was born out of wedlock. You are also said to have had at least one affair, which broke up your first marriage.

Freddie is not even your son, Carolyn. He is merely your step-son, and you only married into the Bourne family in 2003, not even a decade before you presume to speak for the entire family in your vile email to Heidi.

Considering all these things, your assumption that you speak for an entire family you merely married into, is woefully gauche.

Because you claim you speak for the Bourne family, in this bullying attempt at intimidating Heidi, it means you are extremely controlling and domineering. You wish to call all the shots for an entire family, which could cast you off and be within their rights to do so.

You want everything your way. Your threat toward Heidi of family rejection indicates you are a bitter, conniving, manipulative snob, and have every intention of being a meddling, trouble-maker who will stop at nothing to try breaking up Freddie's and Heidi's relationship.

That, Mrs. Carolyn Bourne, is dishonorable.

That is not how a mother-in-law acts.

This makes you not only a mother-in-law who has forgotten her manners, but a step-mother whose beastly arrogance is boundless..

It is abundantly clear, however, that you do not wish to be Heidi's step-mother-in-law, and that you would rather your step-son married some woman you want him to marry, instead of one he loves.

No one with any sense of humility and manners would proclaim herself to be an "expert" on anything, in so many words.

Your so-called expertise is merely your own status-based religion, a set of behaviours you would like to dictate others to follow, all based on antiquated class system ideas which do not belong in the twenty-first century.

👹Carolyn Bourne: There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: This is the twenty-first century calling Mrs. Carolyn Bourne: Finishing schools are so outmoded, they have become gauche,

Ladette to lady? "Ladette" is not even a real word, and reality TV is trash. Your outdated, snooty pettiness shows again. Now, add sexism to your dirty laundry list of failings. The days of grooming young women to be perfect little marriageable ladies to please hoity-toity rich men and their families are long over in the civilized world, or, they should be. Antiquated ideas about the male gender need to be discarded as well, but that's a subject for another time.

It is time to get rid of sexist language that demeans women and girls who do not act like perfect little ladies. 'layette' and 'tomboy' and even 'honorary male' are sexist, Chauvinistic terms that need to die out of English vocabulary altogether.

👹Carolyn Bourne: Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You might as well admit it honestly, you hate Heidi Withers and the idea of their marriage is gnawing and rotting you deep within, right to the core, and you would move mountains to see them separated.

You were not born into the Bourne family, so you demonstrate appalling lack of manners yourself by presuming to speak for them and trying to run their lives.

The vast majority of the time, when someone else tells you "It's for your own good" it is not. Rather, it's for interest's sake of the person or entity using that phrase. You are no exception, Mrs. Carolyn Bourne.

👹Carolyn Bourne: Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: This is your own example of lack of manners. Sending insulting email such as yours is among the worst ill-mannered behaviour to another person on the internet. Like all such emails, your letter has no merit whatsoever. Heidi did not start the trouble, or at least, not intentionally, I am sure. You have, and you did it in an overtly bullying, cowardly fashion.

That, Mrs. Bourne, is ill-mannered, and dishonourable.

👹Carolyn Bourne: When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There are other medical conditions besides allergies, such as diabetes and Celiac's disease that make it extremely harmful for some people to eat certain things. If you had any courtesy and sense of true manners, you would be a good host and sort out beforehand if a guest has a condition which causes discomfort or serious problems when certain foods are eaten.

Perhaps Heidi may have simply been engaging in conversation about food preferences, I do not know, since I was thankfully not there. However, friends and families do discuss food preferences, and this includes stating which foods they can and will, or cannot and will not eat.

You need to learn to show a lot more consideration and how to treat family as family, but it is apparent there is very little hope for you.

👹Carolyn Bourne: You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And you're throwing a monumental tantrum over this? Lady, if you were any good at all as a host, you would make sure there was more than enough food, and offer your guest more. You also wouldn't just take everybody and go traipsing off, leaving a guest with a medical condition alone to begin sickening.

👹Carolyn Bourne: You do not start before everyone else.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Under some situations, Carolyn, yes, you do. Diabetics, for instance, have an eating schedule, and depending on the severity of this condition, the schedule may be somewhat flexible, or it may be strict.

👹Carolyn Bourne: You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: When one becomes part of the family, they are no longer merely a guest and acquaintance, and may help oneself. You are simply using your imagined lack of etiquette on Heidi's part to tell her in so many different ways that you do not regard her as a friend, a welcome guest, and certainly not a future family member. When she marries Freddie, she will have just as much standing in the Bourne family as you, who also married into it.

You sure have a gazillion conniptions over food and the dinner table. I'm quite content to be too much of a "riff-raff" to associate with you. Meals are supposed to be pleasant, even fun times. With you, they would be cold, stilted, awkward drags.

👹Carolyn Bourne: When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Unless one is jet-lagged, has become ill, or is simply sleeping too deeply to be aware of their own existence, let alone of activity elsewhere in the house.

Did it not occur to you that she may have been especially tired from a long trip and a late night? also, that you have made her feel terribly uncomfortable and unwelcome before. So why should she get up right when you do? It's all there in this article.

a good host does not whine about this, but instead, treats a guest as a guest. This means, treating the person with respect until that person gives one ample reason to lose respect, and Mrs. Bourne, Heidi does not fit that category. You do not expect your guests to wake up right when you do.

I would have supposed, in your case, Heidi's sleeping in would've been considered a blessing by you, since you hate her with such a poisonous passion.

But, for you, Carolyn, there is nothing in the world Heidi could do that would please you, other than turn out to come from old money or else get out of your step-son's life.

👹Carolyn Bourne: There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You already said that in the above.

👹Carolyn Bourne: You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The 'Bournes exaggerating" thing. You have some nerve getting all uptight about that when you only married into the family yourself, and Freddie is very familiar with this particular inside joke. It was not an "insult" as you claim in your pathetic little screech for sympathy here. It was a girl, marrying into a family, repeating a family inside joke, nothing more.

Carolyn, You should never ever bully and threaten your future step-daughter-in-law. You mind your own business unless and until she does something so outrageous that warrants some sort of action by way of justifiable interference. Heidi did not cheat on Freddie, she did not commit child abuse or dance naked on a roof top. She did not deal or take drugs. She did not vandalize your home. She did not kill your dog.

👹Carolyn Bourne: I have no idea whether you wrote to thank Georgia [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: This is yet another dismal failure for you, in four ways, Carolyn.

1. Your abusive email toward Heidi is not a handwritten letter, and by your own standards, it should be.

2. You expect her to send an obligatory thank you card, then you send an insulting, hateful, rude email without due provocation. Sending such unwanted email is trolling and it is spam, it is the height of internet bad manners.

3. Not everyone is able to read let alone send hand-written cards due to visual impairment. Now, that may not be an issue for Heidi, but what if you or one of your family had a guest who was totally blind or had a severe enough visual impairment so they could not read and write print? Would you judge that guest of having bad manners for being visually impaired and unable to send you some precious thank-you card?

4. Whether or not Heidi sent her future sister-in-law a card is also between them, and is none of your business, Mrs. Bourne. A well-mannered lady knows when and when not to mind her own business. You, clearly, do not.

👹Carolyn Bourne: You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. You received plenty of "thank you" letters. Perhaps not hand-written, but when it comes to that, email is just as valid.

Need I repeat what I wrote in the above for you again? It still stands.

1. You abused email but you expect printed thank you. This is hypocrisy.

2. You do not take into consideration that not everyone does hand-written. I explained that somewhere above.

3. In addition, you have a terrible entitlement complex. You expect to be thanked. People who expect gratitude generally do not deserve it. No one owes you anything. You hate Heidi Withers for no reason. You want an entire family turned against her. You do not want her and Freddie married.

4. You do deserve to have Freddie and Heidi move away from you, as far as they can go, until you come to your senses, get that ice water out of your veins, and get some humanity.

👹Carolyn Bourne: Georgia [Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, you trained your daughter or step-daughter well and you want all the credit. I pity anyone who grew up with you as a mother or step-mother, Mrs. Carolyn Bourne. You give the definite impression of a loveless individual who puts wealth and ridiculous social status above all else..

Once again, you fail at manners and couth as well. It is extremely low class to demean another person by comparison or contrast to another as being the better of the two.

By the way, "quite the most" is redundant and snobbish. You write like an extreme caricature of a snoot to the point where it would be laughable if it were not for your venom dripping in every syllable.

👹Carolyn Bourne: You would do well to follow her example.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not everyone can be a Georgia carbon copy or clone, nor should they. You would do well to issue an apology, both via handwritten letter, and via email. If you cannot apologize for your vicious attitude, you would still do well to apologize for the spam, and admit you were wrong and lacking in manners by sending it.

Carolyn Borne: You regularly draw attention to yourself.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That is only conjecture, possibly bald-faced lies on your part. You cannot back this claim up. You hate your future step-daughter-in-law so much that your attention is constantly drawn to her. That is what hate does to people like you.

👹Carolyn Bourne: Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Perhaps you should ask yourself why you lost your humanity and turned into a status-obsessed, shallow, catty, bitter woman with a hole in her soul.

👹Carolyn Bourne: It is tragic that you have diabetes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, you know about it, which makes your criticisms of Heidi regarding anything food, beyond just catty and into the realm of inhuman.

I do not believe for a second that you really care one way or another about Heidi's diabetes. You only mention it now to be condescending and try to pass it off as concern. It does not work, Carolyn.

👹Carolyn Bourne: However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn, cut the condescending crap! When, exactly, did Heidi ever claim to you in so many words, "I am the only diabetic in the world!" ?

You are so predictably petty, your thought process runs just like any other schoolyard bully. I have a fairly good idea how bullies operate, and I predicted in my head this was what you would say next, and you proved me right.

👹Carolyn Bourne: I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, you think this gives you the right to send Heidi this load of disgusting email garbage?

👹Carolyn Bourne: I have never heard her discuss her condition.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, that's her. if she's lucky, she probably has never stayed in your home or your daughter's home as a guest either.

You need to learn something about individuality. Everyone is an individual, and they all deal with their various situations differently. Some talk about their medical conditions, their lost loves, their joys, their traumas, and others do not. Manners has absolutely nothing to do with that.

You give the impression that you wish to dictate absolutely everything the people around you may and may not do, right down to what conversations are permitted or forbidden in your perceived divine presence.

👹Carolyn Bourne: She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What is truly vulgar is your accusation that Heidi likes being diabetic and that she uses it as an excuse to draw attention to herself.

You have gone out of your way, above and beyond all understanding to demean, denigrate, berate, demoralize, dehumanize, bully, intimidate Heidi Withers, to make her feel lower than dirt, and you make it as clear as a bell that you have no wish to accept her as part of the Bourne family, who had apparently once accepted you. You see her as subhuman and not worthy of your step-son. You are not willing to let him make his own decisions about his own life, and you are willing to destroy the woman he loves to get your evil way.

👹Carolyn Bourne: As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As a member of the human race, you must be aware that sometimes preparations cannot be made, sometimes things go wrong. The burden is not on Heidi to adjust her eating schedule around you. It is on you to see that your guest is accommodated, and future family members are treated as family. You are obviously woefully inept.

👹Carolyn Bourne: You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There is no such thing as propriety with medical conditions. If, for whatever reason, Heidi is not prepared for some event, as your guest, and that situation involves a medical condition, you do not carp on about manners, you show humanity and compassion, and try to help her to get better prepared so no crisis occurs.

👹Carolyn Bourne: No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That is only your wishful opinion, and it is nonsense. Let them get married wherever they please. It is their wedding, not yours. If they got married in a church, you would undoubtedly find fault with that as well, because you just cannot stand your future step-daughter-in-law.

👹Carolyn Bourne: I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Once again, Carolyn, your predictable, disgusting snobby condescension, this time, as I figured you would, you look down on Heidi because her family is not rich like the one you married into, and probably not among the same exclusive elite clique circles in which you choose to associate. You are guilty of absolute childishness, on a level as the third-grader with the rich parents, who has learned that it's fun to lord her supposed higher station and expensive toys over everyone else in the class. Your attitude is revolting.

👹Carolyn Bourne: (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What!?

Look, lady, you are morbidly out of touch with reality!

Parents do try to save money for the future of their children, but that does NOT mean their daughters are locked into a destiny of getting married!

It also does not mean there is a guarantee the savings will build up to the point where it satisfies your antiquated, stupid notions of what convention is or should be by the time the child grows up and decides to get married!

It is extremely difficult to fathom the fact you actually wrote this pile of backward drivel in all seriousness. Are you for real? You are nothing but a pathetic joke, a sad, living parody of both the mother-in-law from hell stereotype, and a storybook rich snob, the sort that should be extinct by now.

👹Carolyn Bourne: If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Woman, you are truly beyond the pale! You are not mentally or emotionally equipped to live in the civilized world in the twenty-first century and you never should have married or had anything to do with children. You know nothing of love, all you care about is wealth and maintaining an old, discriminatory class system that should have died out completely at the end of the nineteenth century. You would have made a perfect plantation mistress in the slavery days.

Wake up, lady!

Marriage is about love, not money and supposed social standing!

👹Carolyn Bourne: One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

Carolyn

✉️

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You pity no one other than yourself. You might have been patting yourself on the back, o' Mistress Carolyn, when you sent this damnable stomach-churning email.

You hate Heidi Withers for no reason, and there is no acceptable excuse for your disgusting attitudes and behaviour!

Freddie's real mother, Penelope, disagrees with you, saying that Heidi was charming, and her word should carry more weight than yours in matters involving her own son. You, Carolyn Bourne, went way out of line, disregarding some very basic rules of decency.

Heidi and her supporters were completely within their right to forward that email, and it took a great deal of courage and desperation on Heidi's part. Now those of us who read it, have seen you exposed for the malicious, bigoted witch you are!

Shame on you, Mrs. Carolyn Bourne, shame!

You need to be exposed to real bad manners, you need to know what it feels like to be treated like an outcast, you need to learn what it is to love and lose, you need to have your status and power taken away. You need to have your heart broken. You need to cry. Not the self-pitying tears of a bratty child who didn't get her own way, but the adult tears of someone who has actually felt real love and loss, and real pain. You need to realize you alone are at fault for the miserable existence you devised for yourself and the people around you.

If, by chance, you or your supporters happen to see this and try to write to me, I will not expect anything better from you than the trash email you sent Heidi, in fact, I would expect any letter from you to me to be even more puerile.

Neither will I accept, although expected, any false kindness, false apologies, sarcasm, or any hint of condescension from you. Such will not remain private.

I will accept nothing less from you than a public apology to Heidi and Freddie and a sincere change in attitude for the better toward them as a couple and toward Heidi herself. Until that happens, I am not interested in, and have no delusions of making friends with you.

Yours sincerely,

Ocean

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