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Nahid Senna Marie Maxwell, The Mary Sue, The Weakest Link

a Mary Potter Sue

By Ocean Elf

If you've already read this, go to next part.

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In a magical land, there stood a lovely jeweled, crystaline castle. Its name was Munkee Thaungaria Jaunta. It was made entirely of precious gem stones, precious metals, and crystal. It stood atop a hill that only came short of deserving the name 'mountain' and it overlooked a vast, sandy seashore with it's clear, blue waters teeming with life below.

In that castle lived a stunningly beautiful full-blooded wizard of the highest nobility. She was a cousin of Draco Malfoy's, and consequently a spawn of Voldemort due to an utterly unholy union one of Draco's rich aunts had with Harry Potter's now defeated, vanquished, and dead nemesis. Whether or not that union was consensual or not remains a question shrowded in mystery.

Her name, Nahid Leila Shirin Laleh Zahra Parvin Fatah Aishah Horacia Felicia Malicia Marlequisha Katisha Kaishusha Kiseiki Kiki Kitana-Melina Tina Anya Aurelia Ophelia Olivia Angelyka Demonica Sanika Micah Miaka Miranda Fianna Fiore ragabashtule Ruri Yanni Komadori Frost Harper Rainbosun la Petite redwolf Candypantsrose Greytattoo Madpirate Mossgreen Satine Eponine Deathbaker Dragonrider Drunkenwoodpile Queenofgoths Bluestar Silverchild Silverstar Bluechild Silversloth Icebear Zella Jan Tora Chan Tamora Toxicseal Camo Commando Compuwhore Carmen R'Becca Jenny-Ko Senna Marie Maxwell Pahlavi.

Her sapphire eyes sparkled like twin pools of crystal, the most beautiful deep blue you could ever imagine. These brilliant blu orbs could melt the coldest of hearts and pierce through one's soul and beyond. They cried glittering crystal tears and could change color at will and with her moods. As long as everything was going right for her, her amazingly dazzling opticals stayed the bluest of blue. But when she was angry, they turned yellow, blood red, or murderous black when she was in her worst temper. Fortunately this didn't happen often.

Her proud yet delicate face was dainty with perfectly formed features, small but beautiful nose, supple cherry red lips that begged to be kissed, high cheekbones, dainty yet well defined chin, and a flawless lily-white porcelain complexion. Her face was framed by a mass of shimmering golden tresses that hung in graceful curls, flowing down her back in a drop-dead gorgeous cascade. She wore many jewels in her hair, which added to her already fatally beautiful appearance. Sometimes she would be seen wearing a golden crown studded with every kind of gem and jewel imaginable, other times, she would put her hair up in wonderful styles, but she always let enough of it hang loosely so that it flowed as she walked. Her hair had another unique feature, it could also change color at will, so she didn't need to dye it. The hair that she left loosely curling remained golden to add more grace to the fine piece of art that was her. But what hair she'd put up in braids, a bun etc. could become a different color at will once her hair-do had been set for the day. This meant she could have asure braids to match her lovely sparkling orbs, or a black bun to contrast with her fairest of all fair complexions.

Her figure was tall, and full of feline gracefulness. She could teach any modelling agency or dance company a few things about deportment and grace. Her lush curves, swaying hips and shapely legs what could be seen of them under her skirts complimented that prettiest of all pretty faces and spun golden locks above.

Nahid's abilities were just as amazing as her appearance. She could play any position on a quidditch team perfectly, including seeker. Game outcomes always depended in which side she played on.

She was an expert diviner, a master of potions, the dark arts, defense against the dark arts, witchcraft, she was always at the head of every class while at Hogwarts. She was an excellent shapeshifter and had a neko as a familiar.

The sorting hat had such a hard time trying to sort her into just one of the houses at Hogwarts that it clammed up and had to be magically reset the next day. Eventually, it decided on two houses, Gryffindor and Slytherin.

And Nahid was desperately in love with Professor Neville Longbottom.

Hogwarts didn't have much to offer her, since, as the daughter of Voldemort, she knew everything. Besides, her presence in the school tended to distract the other students because of her censuous beauty. So they gave her permission to cut class, as long as she showed up for quidditch practice.

Everywhere Nahid went, she stunned all the guys into falling at her feet. It was not uncommon for her to be seen back at the castle with any number of men she had managed to cast her spell on and make them her slaves. All other females either shrank away from her in fear and loathing, or idolized her. Some of the girlfriends and wives of any guys she fancied, frequently knelt before her on their knees, begging her to forgive their jealousy, and offering her their lovers, if only she would let these women continue to idolize her. Tiny tots learned to say her full name before "Mama" or "Papa". She could reduce grown men to tears or a state of trance just by reciting her name. She could recite the Iran national anthem, and speak Japanese, Greek, French, and Latin.

Every time she opened her mouth to sing, the Rainbo-Sun shone brightly, and all who heard her, stopped dead in their tracks as if entranced. People who set eyes on her lovely porcelain face with the finest sapphire eyes, ruby lips, and precious golden cascading tresses, forgot everything they were doing, and didn't look where they were going. They were too busy looking at Nahid to care about anything else. Wherever Nahid went, she disrupted regular activity. Simply asking a passing stranger on the road what the time was, earned her a stare, followed by "Oh please, say that again."

One day, at a jewelry store, Nahid had turned several heads among the customers who had intended to buy jewelry for their lovers, spouses, or themselves. Some men changed their minds about buying rings for their girls, and bought them for Nahid instead. Even the ladies who came in, decided to forgo treating themselves or their friends, pooled their money, and bought Nahid the largest, most expensive diamond there was.

The store manager came in during the mass adoration and was initially quite put out. "What is this all about? If you want a close conference, please don't have it here, it's bad for business, you know."

Nahid's sultry voice floated on the air to him as she moved seductively toward him, swaying her hips hypnotically, batting her long eye-lashes, and tossing her fair head of shining golden locks playfully. "I'm sorry, Mr. Manager," she breathed, looking at him with unmistakable bedroom eyes that made the bluest of skies pale in comparison, "I can't help being perfect. How can I...make it up to you? My castle, this evening, perhaps?"

The manager's face went from angry to awe-struck. "uh...Uh...Huuuuuhhhh...Yes, mam, anything you say."

Nahid's stunning blue orbs met the Manager's aw-struck stare as she corrected him on how to address her, in the same erotic voice. "My name," she stated, "is Nahid Leila Shirin Laleh Zahra Parvin Fatah Aishah Horacia Felicia Malicia Marlequisha Katisha Kaishusha Kiseiki Kiki Kitana-Melina Tina Anya Aurelia Ophelia Olivia Angelyka Demonica Sanika Micah Miaka Miranda Fianna Fiore ragabashtule Ruri Yanni Komadori Frost Harper Rainbosun la Petite Redwolf Candypantsrose Greytattoo Madpirate Mossgreen Satine Eponine Deathbaker Drunkenwoodpile Dragonrider Queenofgoths Bluestar Silverchild Silverstar Bluechild Silversloth Icebear Zella Jan Tora Chan Tamora Toxicseal Camo Commando Compuwhore Carmen R'Becca Jenny-Ko Senna Marie Maxwell Pahlavi."

"oh, beautiful Nahid," the manager nearly fell to the floor in a swoon. "Say that again." Nahid did, and this time, she took a little more time reciting her name so that the others could say it along with her.

They spent the next 20 minutes or so, chanting Nahid's name as if it was a holy mantra.

no one except Nahid had the presence of mind to notice a man enter the store with a gun.

At first, the robber scoffed at the scene, "is this some kind of temple? Stop jabbering, freeze where you are! And you!" he flashed a threatening glance at the manager, "Hand over the cash!"

"Nahid Leila Shirin..." the manager continued to drone along with the customers and the rest of the store staff.

Frustrated, the robber walked in and shot once in the air. That jolted everyone out of the Nahid intoxication just long enough to begin panicking. Girls gasped, some screamed, men paled, some of them groaning with fear.

"I won't say it again, hand over the cash or you're all dead!" the robber waved his gun in all directions, making sure everyone saw it. Some of the customers tried to retreat and were warned not to move a muscle or else.

But was Nahid afraid? Oh, no! She was the epitome of bravery, she did not know the meaning of the word 'fear'! "Sir," she said in that throaty voice she knew people were just dying to hear again.

The robber froze right where he stood. Then he saw her, a vision from none other than very heaven itself. A woman so beautiful, with steel-melting, soul-piercing, azure blue jewels set in the finest porcelain face that had royalty written all over it, her graceful poise, the long, beautifully curling, golden locks that shone as if giving off their own light, all part of a living mass of life eternal.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh. Uuuuuuuhhhhhhh." the Robber forgot about his evil intention and stood, mouth open in awe, staring at Nahid. He could not break away from her stone-melting gaze, he could not move.

"Is there something you want, my little man?" Nahid spoke to him.

Ah, the voice of heaven. The robber waited a moment until she finished her question, and then he answered her. "You." he breathed. "I want...you...O' divine vision, please forgive me?" The robber's expression and voice had gone from tough as nails to pleading and submissiveness, as if he was a child who had just realized he had made a terrible mistake.

"My name is..." and Nahid recited her name for the robber. As she did so, she approached him, moving seductively, swaying her hips hypnotically, hoisting her long shimmering skirt up just enough to reveal part of her perfectly shaped legs.

He didn't even try to repeat it. He dropped his gun, stood trembling like a leaf for several moments, then suddenly fell to his knees, sobbing. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me for what I almost did? I just realized that money means nothing! Life means nothing without you, my Nahid Nahid! take my gun, take it; I have no more use for it! And here, take all of my money too. You are so beautiful, I must give you something to make up for my folly!" As the robber quaked before Nahid, he emptied his pockets of money and anything else in them.

"Of course I forgive you, sir," Nahid reassured silkily, "But keep your bank book, your credit card, your personal ID and your social insurance number. I have no use for those." She handed back his wallet that held all of those things.

"Oh, yeah, I mean, yes, o' beautiful Nahid, may you live forever." the robber breathed.

"And as for making it up to me," Nahid continued as she eyed him like the cat who caught the canary, "My castle, tonight."

"Say no more--I mean, yes, I'll gladly be with you tonight, and please, go on talking. I have never heard sweeter music to my ears, or seen such poetry in motion as your..." he trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Come hither, my man, the sky is the limit." Nahid said.

"Don't forget about me, Nahid," the store manager pleaded.

"You are both welcome. Come along, my friends, let's all get a little more...friendly." Nahid cooed, flicking a lock of precious gold off her face.

The two men swooned, but, week-kneed and disoriented as they were, they could not help but obey Nahid's call as she led them out of the store.

on the way back to the castle, a small child was heard crying out.

Then, within a second, Nahid found she and her two companions were now joined by a little kitten that scampered around Nahid's feet, looking up at her with big, sad, adoring eyes.

"Awww, kitty," she bent down to pick up the animal. It nestled against her body, purring loudly as she stroked it.

The child called out again.

Nahid realized this kitten must've belonged to the child, and continued walking toward the little girl's calls until she was standing face to face with her.

The little girl saw Nahid and forgot about her kitten. "Oh! You're so beautiful!" she swooned, completely taken in by the exquisit vision of beauty before her. I hope I am just like you when I grow up!"

"thank you, child," Nahid said smoothly, smiling proudly, "But you must not set goals which are unattainable, my dear. I believe this cat belongs to you, what a little darling."

The child did not understand the first part of Nahid's speech, which was probably just as well. "She was mine, but you can have her now. The only other person she likes besides me is you. She hisses at everyone else."

"Here's your mistress, little kitten, go back to her." Nahid placed the kitten in the child's arms, and began to walk away.

The kitten was heard yowling loudly for a few moments, and then, Nahid felt something brush up against her leg.

"It's all right, she's your kitty now, I love you!" the little girl called back.

Nahid and the two men and the cat moved along, the cat not daring to purr, the men trying not to make noise while walking. No one wanted to mar the moment, for Nahid was singing now. The few clouds in the sky cleared, and the sun shone very bright. There were birds and squirrels playing about, but they stopped singing and scurrying when Nahid and company passed their way.

Everywhere she went, Nahid was sure to show herself off because she firmly believed the universe revolved around her. It was certainly like that at the castle. All she had to do was bellow "Jump!" and everybody jumped high as they could.

Ah, yes, life loved Nahid Leila Shirin Laleh Zahra Parvin Fatah Aishah Horacia Felicia Malicia Marlequisha Katisha Kaishusha Kiseiki Kiki Kitana-Melina Tina Anya Aurelia Ophelia Olivia Angelyka Demonica Sanika Micah Miaka Miranda Fianna Fiore ragabashtule Ruri Yanni Komadori Frost Harper Rainbosun la Petite Redwolf Candypantsrose Greytattoo Madpirate Mossgreen Satine Eponine Deathbaker Dragonrider Drunkenwoodpile Queenofgoths Bluestar Silverchild Silverstar Bluechild Silversloth Icebear Zella Jan Tora Chan Tamora Toxicseal Camo Commando Compuwhore Carmen R'Becca Jenny-Ko Senna Marie Maxwell Pahlavi! and she loved life! She was convinced that without her, the universe would cease to function!

But one fine day, the spell Nahid had cast, began to break. Pride goes before a fall, and Nahid was not to be exempt from that rule indefinitely.

Nahid Senna Marie Maxwell, Pride Goes Before A Fall, The Weakest Link

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Comment:

Queen Aphrodite said at 7:36 pm on Jun 16, 2009

Oh.my.hamgod. Officially the worst Mary-Sue I have ever seen. Within the first two or three paragraphs, I saw at least ten Sue traits. And I thought my character Kari was an Irredeemable-Sue! I made Kari up when I was about four years old. I'll post about her sometime.

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