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Furby Takes On Human

Not yet having heard back from Mission Headquarters or from Bez Marshall, with Denny and Rachel there as well as Carma's magic shield of protection around the house, Jessica didn't know what else to do but sit tight and wait.

One Friday night after Jessica's work and Kitri's combat training session, Kitri wanted to talk to Jessica.

But Jessica was fixing them snacks and drinks, with Toby at his usual place on her shoulder.

Kitri came up and landed on Jessica's head.

"Hey, who's that?" Jessica put up a hand to grab whoever jumped on her head.

"It's me. Ahem Toby could you please move? I want that spot."

Toby gave Kitri a funny look, but muttered, "Okay, you said 'please'" and with that, he sprang from that side to Jessica's other shoulder.

"I mean, could you please, like, move off?" Kitri asked.

"I did."

"No, I mean out of here. I want to talk to Jessica in private."

"and how are you gonna do that with everybody else still hanging around?"

Kitri sighed. "Toby, just - move it, okay?"

"Why?"

"Zee." Kitri grinned, trying to make him move off with a laugh.

It didn't work.

"Bzzt… Joke-fail. So what are you gonna tell Jessica that you don't want me to hear?"

"Argh! C'mon, just humour me."

"It's about me, isn't it?" He pressed.

Kitri's deer in the headlights look and turning away said it all.

Jessica looked helplessly at her two arguing friends.

"Then I got a right to be in on it." Toby insisted.

Kitri sighed. "Toby, I don't want you taking this the wrong way."

"Uh-oh, what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. That's just it."

"Huh?"

"Will you just shut up for a second? I wanted to ask Jessica to help me break this to you,""

Toby's tail wagged nervously up and down.

Kitri continued. "but I can't do anything more for you in our combat training."

Toby's eyes went wide and his tail wagged more vigorously. "You don't want me there? Look, if I'm too rough, just say so."

"No, it's not that at all. We do want you there. But backing off is exactly what you shouldn't do. What I'm trying to say is that you've, shall we say, outgrown this class."

Toby stared blankly at Kitri.

She continued. "You've even beat me pretty consistently lately."

"Really?" Toby said dismissively, shaking his head, incredulous.

"Really." Kitri said.

Toby stared at Kitri, trying to take in what she was saying, his defensive stance giving way to one of confusion. "I don't get it. Kitri, you're the unbeatable one. Everyone knows that."

"No, not any more."

"Oh come on. you gotta be sluffing off lately. Maybe you're just tired from months of working your tail off trying to whip the rest of us into shape."

"No, I'm not. Toby, I can't beat you any more, certainly not like I once could. I'm not letting you beat me. You've gotten that good, and I can tell you are holding back when taking on the others. that's what I wanted to tell Jessica. You've graduated,"

He looked at Kitri, stunned.

She continued. "and now it's time for you to move on to something else?"

"Something else - where? We haven't heard back yet, remember?"

"I know. but it's time you were up against a human being." said Kitri.

"I can only repeat my question." said Toby.

Kitri looked into Jessica's eyes, then past her at Toby on the other shoulder. "We have one right here." she stated.

Toby nearly lost his footing on Jessica's shoulder. he caught himself just before tumbling, and stared at Kitri as if she had lobsters crawling out of her mohawk.

"Wait, what?" Jessica shuddered. "Me, up against him?"

Kitri couldn't help bursting out laughing.

"Not funny, Kitri," said Toby.

"It wasn't meant to be. Humans move differently. And along with Jeff, we will be dealing with silly fangirls who think it's fun to wave knives around but don't really have the same abilities or speed as Jeff or Slender. Jessica, if you're willing to be a stand-in for a Jeff fangirl, such as Killer Jess, you can maybe help Toby figure out how to maneuver to bring a human down."

"Uh-uh, I'm not attacking Jessica, no way." Toby said firmly, giving Kitri a stern look.

"Why not? You attack me all the time." said Dmitri with an impish grin.

"You deserve it." Toby grinned back.

"and you wouldn't have to literally attack Jessica," said Kitri, "just use light beaking for really quick bites, and licks for anything more substantial such as taking a chunk out of her.

Both Jessica and Toby grimaced and uttered groans of nastification at Kitri's graphic description.

'No, really, hear me out, guys!" Kitri tried to keep the laughing tremor out of her voice. "Jessica, you do your part, too, you try to grab him, you bat at him, if you have something you could use in place of a knife or a few, you throw them at Toby, you try to hit or stab him."

"Ugh!" Jessica protested. "Lucky for him I couldn't even catch Dmitri with that bug net without help.

"You don't have to rub that in." Dmitri retorted.

Toby laughed.

"You can try to catch him, too, Jess, but what I was thinking is more like you doing whatever it takes to get away from him." Kitri continued.

Jessica looked disconcerted.

Kitri insisted. "Because none of those creeps are going to play nice. If you put up a real struggle against him, you'll be doing him a favour."

"Wow, this is going to take some thought." said Jessica.

"And one more thing, Toby - if we can give and take body-slams from one another, Jessica should be able to handle that too."

"Ruler!" Dmitri suddenly exclaimed.

"What?" Jessica stared at him as if he had gone right off his chump.

"What on earth are you talking about, Dmitri?" Kitri gave him the same look.

Toby snickered.

"Didn't you have a ruler in that drawer you locked me in that time?" asked Dmitri. "You could use that as a fake knife!"

"Uh, if we're really going to do this, and you manage to whack me hard enough, I can't promise not to get mad at you for real." said Toby.

Jessica shuddered. "Kitri, are you sure this is such a good idea?"

Kitri nodded at Jessica. "Well, it's the best I could come up with until you get some sort of response to your notes." Then she addressed Toby. "So growl it out and give her a real good licking when you get a chance." Then she looked back at Jessica. "We could make a show of it.Like a contest to see which one of you is left standing at the end."

"Oh, that could get interesting." Floyd grinned.

"It sure could. I've seen you maniacs fly around. I'm no match for any of you." said Jessica.

"You might be if you really were frantic enough." said Kitri." "Just forget he's Toby and think of him as a mad squirrel,"

Jessica shuddered. Oy.

Kitri continued, "Or as Mark."

Toby scowled at that mention. "Urgh."

"And you forget she's Jessica." said Kitri. "You two can do this if you really try.

So Jessica promised Kitri she would sleep on it and see what the next day would bring.

Early next day, there was still no word from Mission Headquarters, so Jessica agreed to give Kitri's idea a try. But she still had some concerns.

Jessica found some old clothes she was about to toss because they were becoming no longer suitable to wear out in public. They would be perfect for this battle, it wouldn't matter if they got torn or new holes beaked into them.

Just before starting out, Jessica still wasn't sure of herself. "How would I know I'm injured if he doesn't actually injure me?" Jessica asked as they got ready to start.

"He'll beak you firm enough, you should feel it. Minor scratching's fine too. And I mean *every* time you feel his beak or tongue, it's an injury. He's not loving on you or kidding around in this contest. And if you can't feel it every time he beaks you,"

Jessica nodded at this, letting Kitri know that was precisely what she was concerned about.

"We'll let you know." said Kitri. "But those are the least serious injuries anyway. If he licks you or your finger gets in his mouth during this, you'll feel it and it will mean a more serious wound is being inflicted. I'll call it and do my best to help you both out.

The mock conflict was to start in Jessica's room and go from there to the basement or out to the backyard.

Jessica and Toby stared at each other for a long time, neither one knowing who was supposed to make the first move.

"Oh, really, guys?" Kitri said somewhat impatiently? "Jessica, act like a Jeff fangirl. Get him mad at you.

"Jessica squealed and approached Toby to stroke him. "Awww, what a cute little - "

Much as Toby loved real affection, he hated patronizing forms of adoration, so this was enough to make his back go up. He gave Jessica a good beaking along with a snarl.

Jessica recoiled, backing away.

"Go after her, she's royally ticked you off." Kitri prompted.

Toby let from the dresser onto Jessica's shoulder and licked her earlobe.

Several furbies reacted in anticipation to see the conflict heat up.

Jessica uttered a laughing cry and batted at him with the back of her hand, trying to dislodge him.

He held on and tongued one of her knuckles.

"Uh-oh, Jessica, you're gonna get eaten alive at this rate." Kitri commented.

Jessica blew out a breath and tried to swat at him with the ruler.

He dodged it, jumping off her shoulder and onto the middle of her back, hanging on to her top. Then he beaked her firmly, in very quick succession.

Jessica squealed and jumped around, frantically trying to ditch him.

"Get him, Jessica!" Kitri encouraged. "Use your ruler again!"

Jessica reached over her head and swatted toward her back at Toby with the ruler.

He dodged it and half rolled, half scurried down her back and one pant leg, and beaked her in the heel just as she kicked up, trying to get him off her.

"Ouch, my nose!" Toby growled, but he still hung on.

Jessica spun around on one leg, frantically kicking and hitting in a futile effort.

"Hahahaha! Neat-o!" Toby exclaimed. "Faster!"

"Argh!" said Jessica.

"Come on, Jessica, get him away from you," Kitri encouraged, "he's a mad squirrel out for your blood!"

Toby did his best at an imitation of an angry, growling squirrel, complete with teeth chattering.

Jessica must've been convinced by the imitation, because she really seemed to finally get freaked out enough to start thrashing about in what looked like real desperation or fear. "Gah! Toby, don't do that!" There was real panic in her voice.

Toby looked concertedly at Kitri.

"Good job, you got her scared. Keep it up. You're going for the kill. and Jessica, you just get away from him." Kitri said.

Jessica finally got Toby off her foot by trying to hit him with the ruler, but not before he'd done enough beakings to turn her foot into a skinless bloody mess if it had been a real attack.

Jessica forgot herself and stood up on both feet.

"Uh-uh," said Kitri, "Your right foot is in really bad shape now, Jessica, you'll have to get around on one foot."

"What - seriously?"

"Unless you're a real masochist," said Kitri.

"And if you're a Jeff fangirl, you probably are." Toby landed on her shoulder and growled and gnashed his teeth into her ear.

"Ack! Get away!" Jessica yelled frantically and waved the ruler at him again. "You're freaking me out with that!"

He leapt to her other shoulder.

She made a clumsy, desperate swipe at him with an arm.

He saw that coming, and latched on to her wrist.

"Oh no, he's gonna get an artery!" Kitri warned.

Jessica dropped the ruler so she could fight him off with both hands.

Toby got in quite a few beakings before Jessica successfully threw him across the room, causing him to hit the wall with a thud.

Seeing her chance, Jessica made for the door, kicking at it while turning the knob in her desperation to get the heck out of there and hopefully shut him in.

Kitri scurried out through the opening as Jessica was throwing herself out the door.

Unfortunately, Jessica didn't win this fight either.

Thump. "Grrrrr!" Chatter chatter. Toby lunged at her, catching a ride on the back of her shirt just before she could shut the door.

"Ack!" Jessica cried out. Then she got the idea to trap Toby between her body and the door. shutting the door, she pressed her back against it.

Toby went for intimidation next. Squirming against Jessica's back and the door, he snarled so viciously that he sounded like a squirrel with its mouth open wide enough for all of its teeth to show, and lunging to bite the heck out of anything that came too close.

"Oy! Kitri, am I really making him mad?" Jessica asked, looking unnerved.

"Let's just say that a proxy with even a partially functioning brain wouldn't try that with him." Kitri grinned.

Jessica's nerve broke, and she took off down the hall and out to the kitchen.

Toby was definitely as quick as a wild squirrel, but he was not jittery, and he was far more focussed. He kept his eyes on Jessica at all times.

This meant Jessica's efforts at running away from him were useless. Trying to trick him into going outside to be locked out didn't work, nor did pretending to go down into the basement only to turn back and try leaving once he was further in than she. He saw what she was doing, and shot up the stairs before the slow human could carry out her plan.

Finally, Jessica hurried outside, hoping to hinder his attack by going in among some trees.

He stepped it up a few more notches instead, leaping off her, into the trees, launching himself forcefully at her, springing back onto the deck rail, leaping, scampering and rolling along it then back on her again, with plenty of beaking and growling.

no matter where Jessica floundered about, Toby kept coming at her again and again. She threw small twigs at him. She missed, but it seemed to be an invitation for him to lunge for her.

When she could manage to hide herself completely in among the trees, he followed her.

Now, he had her where he wanted her. Jessica couldn't make any quick moves, and any weapons she might've had would do her very little good.

Toby edged in closer to Jessica and stuck his tongue out at eye level with her.

She turned her face away to protect it.

Toby went for her neck and back again. His beaking forced her to turn around and face him again, with her hands up to shield her face.

Then, he did the coup de gras, taking hold of her wrist and tonguing where the artery was.

Sundown, who was keeping close tabs on the combatants' moves, shouted out the report. "Artery bleed, she's going down!"

"Well done, guys!" Kitri announced.

"It's over?" Jessica asked.

"Yep." Kitri replied.

"It wouldn't be if you really were Jess the killer, though," said Toby. He purred and nuzzled Jessica's hand.

Jessica sighed with relief and gave him a scritch under his chin. She was very glad to get out of that role and to have lovable Toby back.

They came out into the open and were greeted with a round of furby applause.

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