🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, great. Vroom vroom vroom. Crash!
This chain letter has been around since as far back as early 2005.
It may be titled "What Is Love", or "The Meaning Of True Love".
🤦🏽♀️BP: Aack! *grimace* Sheesh, this one's goin' down!
🙎♂️Meme: A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uh yeah, stupid much? Not even cars speed that much. Cycling it, you're just asking to get killed, people! And I'm sure at least one of these reckless wonders will be dead by the end of this.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wha-? Sheesh! If you're going over 100 miles, and on a motorcycle, no less, you're just asking for trouble! Skid, splatter!
👧🏼Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
🤦🏽♀️BP: You don't sound too scared...but for once, I'll take your word for it. 100 mph on a motorcycle is insane.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No kidding…
👦🏼Guy: No, this is fun.
🤦🏽♀️BP: What, so, forget what she wants, you think it's fun. P'f! Jerk.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Dude, you got a passenger with you, your gf no less. So stop being such a jerk, get some sense and slow down, stupid.
👧🏼Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Yeah, yeah, I get it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Is this plot going to speed somewhere soon? I get it, she's scared, he's a senseless jerk who thinks very little of human life.
👦🏼Guy: Then tell me you love me.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Huh? What the heck...?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: WHA!? Look, dude, you could've got THAT out of the way before hitting the freaking road! Wow, what a jerk!
👧🏼Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!
🤦🏽♀️BP: I get it, you're scared! Move on!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Are they there yet?
👦🏼Guy: Now give me a BIG hug...
🤦🏽♀️BP: What, so, he's gonna keep shootin' along until she meets every single one of his demands? Yeah, sounds like a real keeper...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: HUH!? What the…! - Erm, dude, you're speeding insanely along a road on a motorcycle, 100 MILES (not kilometres) per hour, she's probably hanging onto something for dear life, and you want her to let go of whatever she's gripping to keep from flying off to give you a hug!? You've gone past jerk and into the realm of - I don't know what!
🙎♂️Meme: *Girl hugs him*
👦🏼Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.
🤦🏽♀️BP: What, so you're helmet bugs you, so you want the girl to let go of whatever she's holding onto so she doesn't fly off the dang motorcycle and turn into a splatter...yeah, that sounds great...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf:Okay, dude, you've just gone from beyond belief, to idiotic beyond belief! This means you're even stupider than the average idiot! You should've bought yourself a helmet that fits you right! SHEESH! What a dope! Take it off yourself if you want to get killed.
As for you, girl? Please, don't tell me you actually didn't think to wear your own darn helmet! Otherwise, your bf wants you putting his over yours? Somehow I don't think that would work.
🙎♂️Meme: (in the paper the next day)
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, yay…
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well, whoop-dee-tap-dancin'-doo...
🙎♂️Meme: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure.
🤦🏽♀️BP: And this is where I'm supposed to start gettin' misty eyed, right?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I can guess whose it was. Anyway, how did they know for sure it really was brake failure so soon? At the most, the paper would've only been speculative about the cause of the accident.
🙎♂️Meme: Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived. =(
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I knew it, one would end up dead…
🤦🏽♀️BP: Ah, cry about it.
🙎♂️Meme: The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brake broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Sure he did...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: A likely story…So, what, did the police, the ems etc. examine the bike to determine this was what happened, and immediately tell all the reporters to put it in the paper or something? Did they rely on a medium to channel the dead guy to come up with this crazy story? Or, more likely, you just made this up to try turning a bunch of stupidity into a kind of self-sacrifice for this chick.
Motorcycles have two braking systems, not just one, each independent of the other. So on the insanely slim chance those systems failed at the same time, there's always the options of gearing down or killing the engine.
But let's assume he was in a panic and not thinking clearly, with the second brake or killing the engine just not coming to mind. He still scares her half to death anyway? right. "Oh, sweetie, I don't want to panic you with the truth, so I'll just panic you with a dumb lie and make you nearly fly off along with me." Good going, dude…
And she's stupid enough to remove his freaking helmet during a 100MPH speed…
🙎♂️Meme: Instead,he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time,
🤦🏽♀️BP: Right, so now it comes out that the guy wasn't such a jerk after all, he just wanted to *sniff sniff* have one last pwecious moment with his giwrl fwiend.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Awwww, how totally precious! *Gag cough* Please! Nobody acts that way. If he knew their lives were in such danger, he would've done something warm-blooded, like panic himself, not suddenly come up with this unbelievable love-struck ploy.
🙎♂️Meme: then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: HOLD IT! Are you telling me she actually didn't have her own blasted helmet!?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Hang on, wait just one cotton-pickin' second! You mean she wasn't wearing a helmet!? What kind of moron gets on a motorcycle without a helmet?! Yeesh! They were both absolute idiots! Good riddance!
🙎♂️Meme: Love is not selfish
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Duh!
🙎♂️Meme: so Love is not being happy
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? No, you're wrong there, love and happiness do go together. So do love and sadness, but again the happiness and sadness depend on the circumstances. You can't love something or someone initially without getting a feeling of happiness - that's what causes the love in the first place.
🙎♂️Meme: it is to make happy to whom you love. even if you are unhappy with it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bull!
Love is love is love. You can work your butt off trying to make somebody happy, but that doesn't mean you love them or that they are even loveable. although, sure, if you love somebody, you are going to be a lot more willing to work your butt off trying to make them happy. Happiness motivates love, love in turn motivates wanting to do stuff for somebody else. Love isn't selfish, but it isn't slavish either.
🙎♂️Meme: No one really knows what tommorow holds in store for you, you might not live to see the next day and
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Yadda yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah blah blah here we go again!
Let's go through some examples of chain letters driving off this road and into the same sappy ditch.
🙎♂️Meme: sometimes you have to tell someone something but run out of time to do so.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So what? It happens. It's not the end of the world. Deal with it. And yes, I mean there are plenty of other reasons you run out of time to tell somebody something, and it isn't always "I love you" either. For example, my sis called, but her line went at work, cutting our chat short. no biggy. Really! We could always chat another time. Neither of us needed to say "I love you" because we know we do. But we do say it during times when family members need special support, or if they're about to travel etc.
🙎♂️Meme: So take five minutes out of your time to tell someone you love them because you really never know if this is the last day of your life.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: oh, put a cork in it! I also don't know if it isn't the last day of my life, but will assume that is the case. I'm not going to turn into a pathetic drip trying to spit out "I love you"s to everybody because of some false sense of urgency, nor am I going to glomp everybody with obnoxious chain letters either. And - I do know the difference between honestly spoken/written "I love you" and chain letters trying to make a very poor substitute for it.
🙎♂️Meme: Hope everyone realises and feels what true love is....
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hope you get on a bike with a broke brake. :p Well, don't expect me to be friendly toward you after that pile of saccharin crap.
So, let's try to figure this out.
Boy and girl were on a bike and they were speeding, but it actually wasn't his fault, it was brake failure.
Yeah right…
She didn't have enough upstairs to figure out that when writing a motorcycle, you need a helmet, so it never entered her peabrain to get herself a helmet of her own. he didn't have enough upstairs to notice let alone insist she put on a helmet before getting on the bike. It was "Oops, I'm the only one wearing the helmet and now we're gonna crash!"
He played games with her head and panicked her, which was so much more noble than being human about it - she would've been scared they'd both die either way.
Not only did she forget to wear a helmet, she stupidly removes his helmet as well, causing him to do the Gary Stu thing and die so he gets to go from being a jerk to a dead hero for her...
All so people will get a huge heartstring-yank and pass on this drippy love story meme!
So what is this chain letter really saying?
That the guy was being a rather clever jerk but he wasn't really being a jerk, he was just sacrificing himself for his girlfriend who killed him out of stupidity. Oh, and true love prevailed right up until death did them part!
Gah!
Yeah, that's what this meme says. Even as stupid jerks, guys are clever and altruistic, while girls are brain-dead.
Blech! *GONG!*
Adding to the over-all feeling of "Say what!?"and rolling eyes is that someone was so wowed by this meme that they apparently based a section of their fanfiction writing on it, and posted the chain itself at this link.
Argh!
Over and out!
Comment options: