Buzzfeed, Buttfeed, Buzzkill

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1. Buzzfeed is a meme AKA chain letter mill.

2. Buzzfeed is feminist, therefore, sexist.

3. Buzzfeed is racist.

4. Buzzfeed has connections with CNn.

5. That all adds up to: Buzzfeed is a leftist chain letter mill.

And it has company.

Elite Daily, Annoyance Daily

Upworthy, Ughworthy

Now, on to the articles and comments.

8 Reasons Buzzfeed Is Just Plain Awful Why Buzzfeed is a Buzzkill.

👨‍💻Zack Struver Published October 2013

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There’s no reason that anybody should be reading Buzzfeed (mainly because it’s hard to read an animated GIF). Since college students comprise a majority of Buzzfeed’s audience, we decided to forgo publishing an insightful 1500 word essay, and instead publish this criticism in a form that our primary audience would be more familiar with: the listicle. Hopefully, you have enough brain cells left to understand and internalize the following 8 points:

1. NONE of their content is original.

Annie Hall McLuhan.

Woody Allen, Annie Hall (Text added by Zack Struver).

If the medium is the message, then Buzzfeed’s is “Sutor, ne ultra crepidam.” That’s Latin for “Look it up on Google,” because that’s all Buzzfeed contributors seem to know how to do (actually, they use advanced techniques to find animated gifs and write witless captions in less than two minutes).

2. And the content that isn’t outright stolen …

Weiner Buzzfeed headline.

Buzzfeed.

Even Anthony Weiner is bored by Buzzfeed’s banal coverage of politics.

… had better, more informative, and more intelligent coverage in the NY Post.

Weiner New York Post headline.

New York Post.

Freefall (n.) – The state of mind for a visitor and/or contributor to Buzzfeed.

3. Buzzfeed masks advertising as content using an innovative four step social media strategy:

Step 1: Include prominent social media buttons on everything.

Drunk girl.

Morgan Stewart.

I think I’ll email a copy of this picture to everyone I know.

Step 2: Use Buzzfeed Article Riting FormulaTM to produce the stupidest possible articles.

Buzzfeed headlines.

Buzzfeed.

I hear they have exclusive photos of Weiner dressed in nothing but sunglasses and cuticle tattoos.

Step 3: ????

Buzzfeed Advertisement

Buzzfeed.

This is big advertising, readers.

Step 4: PROFIT!!!

Money feed.

Zack Struver.

The “Money Feed” isn’t one that Buzzfeed likes to remind its readers about.

4. Buzzfeed takes nerd culture …

Star Trek convention.

Wikimedia.

QI’yaH, Buzzfeed!

… and bastardizes it!

Buzzfeed Headline.

Buzzfeed.

Buzzfeed contributors know Captain Picard colloquially as “confused-looking bald old guy.”

5. They oversimplify complex philosophical and scientific ideas so that they can make stupid jokes about TV shows that people really don’t care about anymore.

Friends Philosophy.

Buzzfeed.

6. Their Editor-in-Chief, once a promising writer and blogger for Politico, has been reduced to this:

Ben Smith Buzzfeed

Ben Smith.

Mr. Smith, Zack Struver From The Vassar Chronicle: What kind of drugs are you on?

7. This story was front page above the fold.

Corgi headline

Buzzfeed.

Enough said.

8. People complain about the systematic over-diagnosis of ADHD, but OMG A CAT AND A PUPPY!!!

Tiny Cat and Puppy

Anderson County PAWS.

Studies have found that Buzzfeed contributors’ attention spans are so short, they

Healthy Alternatives To Buzzfeed

If you feel the need to distract yourself, why not do something enriching? For example, you could read a book.

Kids book.

Barney Saltzberg, Good Egg.

You’ll need to start out nice and easy, or your brain may hurt too much. Eventually, you’ll even be able to read this entire edition of The Chronicle.

Or, if you want to share something interesting with a friend, you could even write a letter.

Dracula Letter

Tim.

If you keep practicing, you’ll eventually be able to write a full paragraph – far more than any Buzzfeed contributor has ever written.

And if you really need to do something mindless and unhelpful, why not try engaging in some slacktivism? At least that requires you to have a coherent opinion about an important issue.

Slacktivism

On second thought, don’t. You’re probably hurting more than helping.

If you’re still not ready to admit that Buzzfeed is an atrocity, I have a message for you:

Keep Calm

freedeskwallpaper.com

Sorry, that was rude. But so is Buzzfeed’s casual sexism, anti-intellectualism, uncritical liberalism, and annoying animated gifs.

P.S. If you’re thinking of writing for the Huffington “We Huff Glue” Post, the aptly named Gawker (or any of its subsidiaries), Upworthless, or any other website that features more lists and slideshows with unlicensed, copyrighted content than actual writing, keep these points in mind.

This article was published in volume XV, issue 1, on page 19, under the headline "3 Reasons Buzzfeed Is Just Plain Awful."

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10 Reasons Why BuzzFeed Sucks

From Champlain Crossover

Posted By Cameron Williams on Jan 29, 2014 | 5 comments

👨‍💼buzzfeed-gets-a-radio-showheres-todays-ad-brief

Above: Suckage.

BuzzFeed’s bashing of already-bashed celebrities is desperate and pandering. Articles like “16 Horses That Look Like Miley Cyrus” and “11 Feet That Look Like Robert Pattinson’s Face” are neither funny nor original; they’re just needlessly cruel. Hate on those celebrities as much you wish, Buzzfeed, but could you at least be somewhat clever about it?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'll take this further. Buzzfeed, stop the celeb-bashing already. As if sites aren't already assaulting readers with more than enough headlines that might or might not even be true about the latest flavour of the month celebrities to adore or hate. Oh, but that's right, Buzzfeed is not going for originality, it just wants the most attention, hits, and especially social network shares! Yeah, chain letter racket, anyone?

👨‍💼Cameron Williams: Calling BuzzFeed articles “articles” at all is an insult. There’s not much substance or text in the average BuzzFeed article. Most of them are only series of gifs and images. It clearly doesn’t take much skill to write for this website. Seriously, what are the requirements to be a writer for Buzzfeed? A fourth grade education and a love for Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

The fact that BuzzFeed actually has a legit editorial staff is hilarious. Like, what purpose do they serve? What sort of editorial insight can they offer? “Um, you cited 18 reasons to love Mean Girls. Is there any way you can bump that up to 20? Oh, and can you insert an image of a cat in the article too?”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Grimace* Oh gads, those internet cats! How I hate internet cats! They are every bit as annoying as Youtube Bob and any other viral! So, I appreciate your sarcasm here. But my aversion to internet cats is so great that just the mere mention of them puts me into a fit of twitches.

👨‍💼Cameron Williams: BuzzFeed’s obsession with nostalgia is alarming, especially with their fixation on ‘90s pop culture. Articles like “50 Things From the ‘90s” pop up on the website at a constant, obnoxious rate. Yeah, Buzzfeed, we all remember Beanie Babies and Tomagachi. Stop reminding us of them every five seconds, please.

In addition to constantly posting articles revolving around nostalgia, many of Buzzfeed’s articles are topically repetitive. There’s always an article about cats, an article about life as a college student, an article about some ridiculously giant food, etc.. Be careful when browsing the website because you’re bound to find seven thousand articles about the same thing.

A few articles on the website are absurdly specific. Articles like “The 27 Most ‘90s Outfits Worn on Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “31 Things You Desperately Needed From The Delia’s Summer ’96 Catalog” are straw grasping at its worst. I mean, how specific can the articles possibly be? New article on BuzzFeed: “The 18 Most Sensational Eyebrows at the 1997 MTV Video Music Awards Countdown Show that Shaped Ska Music Forever.”

As if the website’s content wasn’t already unoriginal enough, BuzzFeed has been famously accused of plagiarism by several competing websites. The Atlantic Wire and Gawker have accused Buzzfeed of stealing content since the website’s inception and the allegations are seemingly never-ending. Way to stay classy, BuzzFeed.

Several corporations like Coca-Cola have portals on Buzzfeed where they can release articles to shamelessly plug their product. You’d think Coca-Cola already has a big enough presence in the world, but apparently they need more room to shill their new vending machines and continue to exploit the war between Coke and Pepsi as if anyone still cares. CNN also has a portal on BuzzFeed apparently and I’m guessing they publish articles like “10 Absurd Larry King Photos From the ‘90s!”

BuzzFeed’s attempts at appealing to twentysomethings are also desperate and pandering. Thanks, BuzzFeed, all I’ve ever wanted was yet another reminder that I’m a broke college student and know practically nothing about the world. But that’s okay, because an article about Boy Meets World and that same damn gif of Kristen Wiig chugging wine will make me feel better. Except not really. Not really at all.

BuzzFeed is so awful that I can’t even find a tenth reason. I’ll just say it sucks, which is probably the laziest way to end this list. But, hey, most BuzzFeed articles have half-arsed conclusions too, so there’s that.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I have two additional reasons to add, and they would be at the top of my list, so that's how I'll number them.

1. Buzzfeed is insanely viral, therefore, annoying, insufferable.

2. Buzzfeed has also been found to have a liberal bent. "Look at the goofy cat. Look at the goofy car. Look at the goofy republican." was a quote example from another article I found, where someone was pointing out that Buzzfeed does not give democrats that same treatment.

Now a blurb about the author, then to the comments.

Author: Cameron Williams

Senior, Professional Writing Co-Editor in Chief Cameron Williams is co-editor of The Crossover. Cameron strives to make The Crossover one of the most regal palaces on the net. Cameron is also a native of Massachusetts and once studied abroad in Dublin, Ireland for five months. He likes rain and dislikes mayonnaise. When he is not writing, Cameron is consuming the arts, whether it be watching a film on Netflix or looking up at the ceiling to find images of elephants within the cracks and swirls of plaster.

Matt

JANUARY 30, 2014

This is fantastic. I genuinely didn’t know that people were paid to create the articles on buzzfeed. I imagined it was mostly high school or college kids that would submit images with little blurbs and boop! It’s on buzzfeed! I guess that speaks to to how terrible it is.

Cameron Williams

JANUARY 30, 2014

Matt,

I’m not sure if the writers are paid for writing Buzzfeed articles, and I hope they’re not. I think you’re mostly right about it mostly being high school and college students making gifs for fun which, of course, is only another area where Buzzfeed loses credibility.

Joe

JANUARY 31, 2014

Did you research any of these points? Or is it strictly opinion?

Cameron Williams

JANUARY 31, 2014

Joe,

This piece is largely opinion-based. Think of it as an eyewitness account to a crime or something.

Marcus

FEBRUARY 11, 2014

I’ll agree, Buzzfeed does stink.. but those spammers are legally pulling in over $100/mil a year.

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