🤦🏽♀️BP: Another stupid 'live like it's your last day' meme. Time to mangle...
😡Meme2: Tell People You Care
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, um, not with this chain letter though!
🙎♂️Meme1: A friend of mine
😡Meme2: My brother-in-law
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, I guess your bro-in-law can also be your friend.
🙎♂️😡Memes: opened
🙎♂️Meme1:his wife's underwear drawer
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Aghast expression* TMI much? Okay, why would your friend open his wife's underwear drawer? Why would he tell YOU about it? Why are you telling me? You don't even know me! Uh you see why your intro is a bit uncomfortable, right?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Right, and I care about your friend's wife's underwear drawer because...?
😡Meme2: the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So, her bottom bureau dresser drawer is no doubt where she keeps her understuff, yeah, really needed to know that...
🙎♂️😡Memes: and
🙎♂️Meme1: picked up
😡Meme2: lifted out
🙎♂️😡Memes: a
🙎♂️Meme1: silk paper
😡Meme2: tissue
🙎♂️😡Memes: wrapped package:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Right, and I should give a crap about a silk paper tissue wrapped package in your friend's wife's AKA your sister's bottom bureau underwear drawer because...? Silk paper? Is there such thing?
🤦🏽♀️BP: And the plot thickens...
🙎♂️😡Memes: “This,” - he said -
🙎♂️Meme1: isn't any ordinary package.'
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, yeah, sometimes people hide stuff in their underwear drawer. Who...Cares?
🤦🏽♀️BP: *GASP!* OHMYFREAKINGOSH! NO ORDINARY PACKAGE!? What ever shall we do?!
🙎♂️Meme1: He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uh okay, *twitch* this is his wife's/your sister's underwear drawer you're talking about right? Isn't it like, well you know, up to HER to open it? I don't care what kind of box it is and what it's wrapped in by the way...
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wow. How dramatic. I'm glued to the screen. On the edge of my seat. No really. Ignore the sarcastic monotone in my voice.
😡Meme2: “is not a slip. This is lingerie.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Er, um... why is this dude showing you your sister's lingerie?
😡Meme2: He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But I thought you said he said it was lingerie, not a slip... Anyway, you guys aren't at all creepy. (Sarcasm full volume.) ?
😡Meme2: It was exquisite: silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Erm... Why are you telling me this?
😡Meme2: The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, so somebody likes to waste money on this stuff. It's just a matter of whether it was her idea or his...
🙎♂️Meme1: 'She got
😡Meme2: “Jan bought
🙎♂️😡Memes: this the first time we went to New York,
😡Meme2: at least
🙎♂️😡Memes: 8 or 9 years ago."
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well, whoopty-tap-dancin'-doo for her.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So, Jan has a name and the idea. Wow. Okay, how sweet, she got a nice little prezzie or souvineer on her New York trip, fine, whatever. And I should care because? Why should I care about your friend/bro-in-law and his wife/your sister's trips and and some silly little box they picked up in New York several years ago? Oh, but you're going to tell me all about it, even though I really don't wanna know, and by your telling me, you hope to make me start giving a darn so that I'll get all gushy and...
🙎♂️😡Memes: She
🙎♂️Meme1: has
🙎♂️😡Memes: never
🙎♂️Meme1: put it on,
😡Meme2: wore it. She
🙎♂️😡Memes: was saving it for a special occasion.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Like the day someone obliterated this and didn't fall for your dreck!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahaha! And that's right, I couldn't care less what your friend-in-law's wife/your sister does with her stuff!
🙎♂️😡Memes: Well, I guess this is
🙎♂️Meme1: it.
😡Meme2: the occasion.”
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uh, yeah, didn't I already say that? Should I repeat it slower for you?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And your point?
🙎♂️😡Memes: He
😡Meme2: took the slip from me and
🙎♂️Meme1: got near the bed and placed
😡Meme2: put it
🙎♂️Meme1: the gift box
😡Meme2: on the bed
🙎♂️Meme1: next to
😡Meme2: with
🙎♂️😡Memes: the other
🙎♂️Meme1: clothing
😡Meme2: clothes
🙎♂️Meme1: he was
😡Meme2: we were
🙎♂️😡Memes: taking to the
🙎♂️Meme1: funeral house,
😡Meme2: mortician.
🙎♂️Meme1: his wife had just died.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes and sighing in extreme irritation* So that's your point. Should've known...
BTW, it's "funeral home" not "funeral house". Well, forget it, I'm not about to get all melty over this.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, and here's where I just break down into tears and gush over how pwecious this is, right? Don't hold your breath. I don't gush.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So she dies for the purpose of this chain letter...
Death sucks, but it happens.
I really don't care about your brother-in-law friend's wife's, your sister's gift boxes, funeral, I don't know your friend, or want to, he sounds like a sanctimonious jerk, and you writing about your sister this way, using her death as a platform for some attitude-adjustment meme you foist on the lot of us because you were so bowled over by your preachy friend/bro-in-law who, along with you, were supposed to be grievingg instead of coming up with ways to make the rest of us feel like we all have screwed up priorities or something… - Argh!
BTW, if she just died, you could've been a lot classier and a lot more brief via a sentence like "My friend/brother-in-law found some momentos going through his wife's/my sister's belongings to sort them because she just passed away." That would've nixed out all that yadda yadda blah blah about their New York trip, her underwear drawer etc.
I don't consider a death and a funeral a "special occasion". I remember nearly gagging when some poor sap sent me this chain letter years ago! Wouldn't it be a special occasion if IT died? Well, let's make a special occasion and clobber the wretched thing!
😡Meme2: His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then
🙎♂️😡Memes: hhe
😡Meme2: slammed the drawer shut and
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Melodramatic much? Yeah, he's just winding up to deliver a really big crusher of an ohmygosh statement about life and special occasions etc...
🙎♂️😡Memes: turned to me.
🙎♂️Meme1: and said: 'Never
😡Meme2: “Don't ever
🙎♂️😡Memes: save
🙎♂️Meme1: something
😡Meme2: anything
🙎♂️😡Memes: for a special occasion.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well that's stupid. What kind of advice is that?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: ARGH! Look, I'll save stuff for any special occasion if I want to. Example, saving space on my Ipod so that I can take video ON A SPECIAL OCCASION! So there goes your stupid patronizing spew! So you and your grieving friend can just butt out and worry about your own lives!
🙎♂️Meme1: Every day in your life is a special occasion'.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Gah, and here's the whole 'everything bad in your life doesn't matter because you should just be tickled pink to be alive' crap comes in. Pass.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, duh, right, sure, yeah - uh, no! *cough* Look, not every day is a special occasion except for counting that I'm alive and good things are happening. But the day I found out one of my own friends had passed away was ANYTHING BUT a special occasion! Days that turn out bad, especially when they are full of tragedy are NOT special occasions! So shut up!
😡Meme2: I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Right, gotta make doubly triply sure to pack as much tissue-drenching descriptors in here as possible. after all, you want me crying over Jan's poor motherless kid now as well, that is why you threw that mention about your niece into this, so I'll weep and make the most solemn of all solemn vows to never never ever EVER - save ANYTHING for a special occasion, and pass on this chain letter!
😡Meme2: I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Mid- western town where my sister's family lives.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Burp* Uh, *Sheepish expression* please excuse me. My stomach is getting a little unsettled. *Cough, expression hardening again* But yeah, I get it, man, I really do get it already. Jan's dead. Jan is mourned by you. Jan is mourned and will be missed by you who live in California, by her husband/your bro-in-law, by your niece/her daughter, your bro-in-law's kid, and by her entire family who lives in a Midwest town. I get the picture already, everybody's sad sad sad. Can you move on now?
😡Meme2: I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Cough, cough* Yadda yadda ya - *choke spew* Woops *Cough* Does anyone have a barf bag? This sappy attempt at manipulating my tear-ducts is giving me a serious case of nausea. Uh, yeah, nobody gets to see and do absolutely everything in their life, and no one gets to know every little special thing they've done or how special they are. Sad, but, that's just how it goes. Are you finished? are you anywhere near finished?
🙎♂️Meme1: I
😡Meme2: I'm
🙎♂️😡Memes: still
🙎♂️Meme1: think
😡Meme2: thinking about his
🙎♂️Meme1: those
🙎♂️😡Memes: words
😡Meme2: and they've
🙎♂️😡Memes: changed my life.
🤦🏽♀️BP: And I still think you're an idiot. Next.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Fine, think whatever you want about those words and your own life. But don't expect that to change anything about me, the way I think, or my life!
🙎♂️Meme1: Now I read
😡Meme2: I'm reading
🙎♂️😡Memes: more and
🙎♂️Meme1: clean
😡Meme2: dusting
🙎♂️😡Memes: less.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Whatever...Who cares?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uh, gross. So, what, you read chain letters in a garbage filled house? Yeah, that's a MASSIVE improvement.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Sad it actually took Jan dying and your creation of this chain letter to make you prefer reading to dusting. Try thinking of other people more, and patronizing less! Try consideration more, and re-sharing less!
🙎♂️Meme1: I sit
😡Meme2: I'm sitting
🙎♂️😡Memes: on the
🙎♂️Meme1: porch
😡Meme2: deck and admiring the view
🙎♂️😡Memes: without
🙎♂️Meme1: worrying
😡Meme2: fussing
🙎♂️😡Memes: about
🙎♂️Meme1: anything.
😡Meme2: the weeds in the garden.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So now you've become inspired to be a sloppy gardener, wow.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Blah, blah, blah...get on with it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you somehow think that makes you different? Newsflash, I do that as well when the weather permits and I have time to spare! And no, I don't do it out of some convoluted obligation to any stupid chain letter! In fact, I've been pretty non-obsessive about cleaning, and a summer porch-sitter long before I even heard of the internet, let alone these condescending, preachy memes! So take that! You've just told me to do something I already do. Feel super important now?
🙎♂️Meme1: I spend
😡Meme2: I'm spending
🙎♂️😡Memes: more time with my family,
😡Meme2: and friends
🙎♂️😡Memes: and less
😡Meme2: time
🙎♂️Meme1: at work.
😡Meme2: in committee meetings.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: All because Jan died and your bro-in-law bawled you out about special occasions, and money just grows on trees for you? Golly, it must be nice to have such a cushy lifestyle and sit atop your superior pedestal and tell the rest of us working stiffs how to live life, isn't it? Some of us work for A LIVING, and some of us, such as myself, love our work. Besides, my family all have their own schedules, INCLUDING THEIR OWN JOBS! What a concept. Maybe you can afford the luxury to do less work and sit around reading, but some of us aren't sitting on a stack!
🤦🏽♀️BP: So, what, you skip work? How exactly are you supposed to pay for food for this family of yours? Or house payments? Or clothes? Work is important. Deal with it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: honestly, dude, chick,, it doesn't matter to me how you spend your time and with whom. Your bro-in-law might be keeping score, and apparently you are as well, but I'm not.
🙎♂️Meme1: I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.
😡Meme2: Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you felt the urge to start a goopy chain letter that people are made to indure whenever it shows up in inboxes or on the web...
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, shut it already! If I hear one more cheesy nugget of 'wisdom', someone's getting punched.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, as if I hadn't already come to my own belief by now, and need your stupid chain letter trying to tell me how to think, all because your friend-in-law found a box in his dead wife's and your sister's underwear drawer - SHUT THE HECK UP!
🙎♂️Meme1: I no longer keep
😡Meme2: I'm not “saving”
🙎♂️😡Memes: anything;.
🤦🏽♀️BP: *Prepares to punch* Wait, wha-? How is not keeping anything a smart idea? Oh, I get it, you're trying to be all 'look at me, I don't need any possessions, don't you want to be like me?'. Well, I have two things to say to you. One: No. Two: *PUNCH!*
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So explain how you get all that reading done, then... Don't tell me you run to the library as often as the rest of us change underwear... For that matter, what DO you wear if you don't keep anything?
🙎♂️Meme1: I
😡Meme2: we
🙎♂️😡Memes: use
😡Meme2: our good china and
🙎♂️😡Memes: crystal
🙎♂️Meme1: glasses
😡Meme2: for
🙎♂️😡Memes: every
😡Meme2: special event
🙎♂️Meme1: day...
🤦🏽♀️BP: And that matters to me because...?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But you don't keep anything. So what, do you mooch the crystal and good china off your friend, too? And I don't care what type of glasses you use. I'll use whatever glasses I choose to, special occasion or not, so put a sock in it already!
😡Meme2: -such as losing a pound,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Right, like totally special in the life of some weight-obsessed, stupid food-cop. *Rolling eyes*
😡Meme2: getting the sink unclogged,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, so I suppose you'd celebrate every time you take a dump too...
😡Meme2: the first camellia blossom.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Which probably comes rarely because of your weedy garden...
🙎♂️Meme1: I'll
😡Meme2: I
🙎♂️😡Memes: wear
😡Meme2: my
🙎♂️Meme1: new clothes
😡Meme2: good blazer
🙎♂️Meme1: to go
🙎♂️😡Memes: to the
😡Meme2: market
🙎♂️Meme1: supermarket,
🙎♂️😡Memes: if I feel like it.
🤦🏽♀️BP: So?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And then, you sell them or give them away because you don't keep anything, right? My gosh, you must be living high off the hog!
😡Meme2: My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Er, if that's enough to make you wince, I don't see times getting any more hopeful for you. 'Shell out' 28 bucks? Really? That might get you a few things to last maybe a couple days, all depending on what you buy.
🙎♂️Meme1: I don't save
😡Meme2: I'm not saving
🙎♂️😡Memes: my
🙎♂️Meme1: special
😡Meme2: good
🙎♂️😡Memes: perfume
🙎♂️😡Memes: for special
🙎♂️Meme1: occasions,
😡Meme2: parties;
🙎♂️Meme1: I use it whenever I want to.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: HEL-LO!? Has it not clicked with you yet that - I...DON'T...GIVE...A...DARN...ABOUT...YOUR...CUPS...OR...CLOTHES...OR...PERFUME...OR...READING...ETC...? Live how you want, but don't lecture me and make as if you are the be-all and end-all example of perfection to follow for living life!
🤦🏽♀️BP: You are aware that that doesn't work, right? If it's special perfume, you'd only use it for special occasions. You wouldn't wear it every day. So, you should say you use whatever perfume you want whenever you want to.
😡Meme2: clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party going friends'.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: DUH! So before Jan kicked the bucket, you were so strict and conscious about your image that you disallowed yourself to wear whatever perfume you felt like wearing one day, based only on whether you were going to a party or to a super important committee meeting? Sad.
🤦🏽♀️BP: And a thought just occurred to me. What the heck were you doing in your bud's room anyway? If you're chilling in his room after his wife dies watching him pack her clothes and such...well, it just sounds weird to me. And don't say you were there for support. We all know what kind of person YOU are.
🙎♂️Meme1: The words
🙎♂️😡Memes: “'Someday....'” and
🙎♂️Meme1: “'One Day...'
😡Meme2: of these days”
🙎♂️😡Memes: are
🙎♂️Meme1: fading away from
😡Meme2: losing their grip on
🙎♂️😡Memes: my
😡Meme2: vocabulary.
🙎♂️Meme1: dictionary.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Really? 'Cause my dictionary is pretty permanent.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What, you just pour some erasure solution that works more gradually than white-out on words you've seen in your dictionary that you don't like until they fade away? So what do you do when you come across those in your reading? Do you get an overpowering urge to lecture the author of the book to stop using those words, to stop saving stuff for special occasions etc?
"Losing their grip on your vocabulary" That doesn't even make sense. How do words actually grip a vocabulary? You either choose to use them or you don't. I'm not nixing them out of mine just because this chain letter implies I should. For example, 'one of these days' 'someday' there might come yet another version of this meme on my computer screen, which means this will get revised yet again, but I hope not.
🙎♂️😡Memes: If it's worth seeing,
😡Meme2: or
🙎♂️Meme1: listening
😡Meme2: hearing
🙎♂️😡Memes: or doing, I want to see,😡Meme2: and
🙎♂️Meme1: listen
😡Meme2: hear and
🙎♂️Meme1: or
🙎♂️😡Memes: do it now....
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wow, so patience means nothing now? Moron.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you somehow think that makes you more special and different from any other human being!? Think again!
🙎♂️Meme1: I don't know
😡Meme2: I'm not sure
🙎♂️😡Memes: what my
🙎♂️Meme1: friend's wife
😡Meme2: sister
🙎♂️😡Memes: would have done
🙎♂️Meme1: if
😡Meme2: had
🙎♂️😡Memes: she
🙎♂️Meme1: knew
😡Meme2: known that
🙎♂️😡Memes: she wouldn't be
🙎♂️Meme1: there
😡Meme2: here
🙎♂️Meme1: the next morning,
😡Meme2: for the tomorrow that we all take for granted.
🙎♂️Meme1: this nobody can tell.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Speak for yourself, not a general "we all" and dry up already. You're not going to bring Jan back or make me melt into a gushing idiot with this chain letter and all the lecturing on no special occasions allowed stuff. Whatever! I...DON'T...GIVE...A...DARN! Is there no end to your sickening drither? The lady's dead, so leave it alone already! You've gone from extremely annoying to intolerable! SHUT IT!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, that's a classic! Don't forget to pull the 'if you died tomorrow' card. THAT'S not over-used at all. *rolls eyes*
🙎♂️😡Memes: I think she
🙎♂️Meme1: might
😡Meme2: would
🙎♂️😡Memes: have
🙎♂️😡Memes: called
🙎♂️Meme1: her relatives
😡Meme2: family members
🙎♂️😡Memes: and
😡Meme2: and a few close
🙎♂️Meme1: closest
🙎♂️😡Memes: friends.
🙎♂️Meme1: She might
😡Meme2: have called
🙎♂️Meme1: call
😡Meme2: a few former
🙎♂️Meme1: old
🙎♂️😡Memes: friends to
🙎♂️Meme1: make peace over
😡Meme2: apologize and mend fences for
🙎♂️😡Memes: past
🙎♂️Meme1: quarrels.
😡Meme2: squabbles.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Blah, blah, blah...sing a new song, will ya?!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yadda yadda yadda yadda, blahblahblahblahblah etc. etc. etc. About the only interesting thing in this pile of sap is your assumption that your sister Jan, your friend-in-law's wife, probably quarrelled with old friends and made some enemies. Were you ever one of them? Was every fight Jan got into her own fault? Are you really so holier-than-thou that you think Jan should have apologized and tried to make peace with people who probably were always jerks to start with? Do you think Jan was a jerk?
Like I said, leave well enough alone and stop using your friend-in-law's wife's death as a platform to tell the rest of us via this STUPID chain letter how to live our own lives and what to think!
🙎♂️Meme1: I'd 😡Meme2: I 🙎♂️😡Memes: like to think she would 😡Meme2: have gone 🙎♂️Meme1: go 🙎♂️😡Memes: out for 😡Meme2: a 🙎♂️😡Memes: Chinese 😡Meme2: dinner 🙎♂️😡Memes: , her favorite food.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, my world would have like TOTALLY ENDED if you had not told me this all important vital information, that your friend's wife/your sister Jan liked Chinese food! Get lost already!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Aaaaggghhh! This is driving me crazy!
😡Meme2: I'm guessing, I'll never know.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Um yeah, Whatever, that's you, dude, chick, I could've told you *that*. and guess what? You haven't told me a thing I hadn't already figured out for myself just by living!
🙎♂️😡Memes: It's
🙎♂️Meme1: these small
😡Meme2: those little
🙎♂️😡Memes: things
😡Meme2: left undone
🙎♂️😡Memes: that
🙎♂️Meme1: I🙎♂️😡Memes: would
😡Meme2: make me angry
🙎♂️Meme1: regret not doing,
🙎♂️😡Memes: if I knew
😡Meme2: that my hours were limited.
🙎♂️Meme1: my time had come..
🤦🏽♀️BP: It's gonna come a lot sooner if you don't shut up! Courtesy of yours truly!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, maybe Jan didn't know her hours were running out. You didn't say how she died, only that was sudden and unexpected. It's that way for anyone who dies of something that doesn't let them know their number is coming up shortly. Get over it. It's a pretty stupid thing to be angry about. You can't possibly see and feel and hear and smell and touch and taste and think and say and do it ALL.
😡Meme2: Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So you thought you'd cover all that, right now, with this chain letter I suppose?
😡Meme2: Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: oh, wow, for some reason, I thought you were a man. Excuse - Me! okay, you haven't lost all opportunities to prove your love, but you don't have to say "I love you" a million times a day, and you definitely don't show real love by spreading chain letters.
😡Meme2: I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, okay, okay, I get it, I get it already! But here is a newsflash: your meme sure as heck is not bringing laughter and luster to anyone's life!
Now, shut - up!
😡Meme2: And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
🙎♂️Meme1: Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Aaaaggghh! Shut up!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: ARGH! The arrogance! I'll give you a special cyber-punch in the face if you - don't - shut - your - simpering - trap! *Fistdesk* Do you think YOU are the only person on the planet who values their life enough or something? Guess what? You're WRONG! So stop assuming me and the rest of the world needs your idiotic, blithering chain letter lecture, telling us how to think and how to live! Cram it!
🙎♂️Meme1: Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one..
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Gah! No kidding, Einstein! SHUT...UP!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Including you. Which means, you might die tomorrow! Hooray!
😡Meme2: Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! Don't you dare drag God into this! This cheesy meme spam is on you! Nobody needs that to tell them God's gift is life and that it's special!
🙎♂️Meme1: If you got this, it's because someone cares for you
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, that would be because someone got their heart half-eaten, and sections of their brain responsible for reasoning, emotion, and inhibition, hammered by this meme.
😡Meme2: If you've received this it is because someone cares for you
🤦🏽♀️BP: Or, because someone got duped into sending this to me!
🙎♂️Meme1: and because, probably, there's someone you care about.
😡Meme2: and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, like in the chain hoax that hijacked the Mark Eklund story for misuse in getting people to spam the net with more copies of this fake caring crap. Well, WRONG! If anybody gets this incredibly odious, maudlin drivel, it's because somebody who re-shared it got totally suckerpunched right in the heart, and manipulated into mass-blasting others on the net with this corny crap! Receiving a meme does not make me a more caring person about others, in fact, well, how to say this? It has the opposite effect.
😡Meme2: Please let them know how you feel.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: How I feel - about what? This meme? Er, not so sure you or they would want to know. Anyway, if I let anyone know how I feel, I'll write it out myself and not use some mass-circulated message that everybody's sent and received.
🙎♂️😡Memes: If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it 'One of these days' , remember that 'One day' is far away... or might never come......
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Stow it! I'm not too "busy" to send it, I'm too considerate and too smart, and I will not waste my special moments of my special life and my contacts special bandwidth by sending them this dumb dreck! However, somebody needs to put up a good drubbing of it somewhere.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Rrrggg...not sure how much more of this I can take.
🙎♂️😡Memes: No matter if you're superstitious or not, spend some time reading it. It holds useful messages for the soul.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: WRONG!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uh, no, not really! It's just manipulative crap!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So you think you're a soul guru now? You're not! Not only is your friend-in-law/sister's story sad and uninspiring, your endless lecturing and implied judgments about the rest of the human race which you appear to assume doesn't treasure a thing while saving/keeping way too much for special occasions, is in need of your patronizing junk, and then you use your friend's dead wife as a platform to puff up this judgemental lecture and then you compound it all by adding the urging to re-share because we all might die without actually reading your chain letter and that would somehow be such a bad thing! Shut up!
🙎♂️😡Memes: Don't keep this message.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Right, since I WANT to cling to this trash.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Spoken just like the typical annoying Lotus Totus Tantra, bogus ST. Jude, Dead Reckoning Jenny chain letters! I'm thrashing it! Don't worry, I'm not "keeping it for a special occasion!"
🙎♂️😡Memes: This Tantra must leave your hands within 96 hours
🤦🏽♀️BP: Why?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, the tantra again? And this bit about "must leave your hands" has been seen in other luck/love tantra chain letters, such as the Lotus Totus Tantra, bogus ST. Jude, Dead Reckoning Jenny. It's going to lie with the others, mangled and bleeding out on MTM a lot longer than 96 hours!
🙎♂️😡Memes: You'll have a pleasant surprise.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You wouldn't have a pleasant surprise if you knew how some of us really feel about this junk!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Yeah freakin' right. Get lost.
🙎♂️😡Memes: This is true, even if you're not superstitious.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Blah...blah...blah...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I've seen that line in the equally bogus Lotus Totus Tantra, and it sure as heck isn't true...
🙎♂️😡Memes: Now, here's the fun of it:
🤦🏽♀️BP: Gah, you mean there's MORE of this!?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You need an immediate reality check if you think this chain letter and spamming and especially getting it is anything remotely fun!
🙎♂️😡Memes: Send this message to at least 5 people and your life will improve
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong! You can't even tell if I send it or not, and you can't do a thing to my life regardless!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Sending an e-mail chain fwd won't magically change your life for the better or the worse! Anyone with a basic brain knows that!
🙎♂️😡Memes: 0-4 people: your life improves slightly.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong again!
🤦🏽♀️BP: It won't change at all, bozo!
🙎♂️😡Memes: 5-9 people: your life improves according to your expectations !
🤦🏽♀️BP: Aaaaaagggghhhh!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: LIES! Who believes this hornswoggle?
🙎♂️😡Memes: 9-14 people: you'll have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks..
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wow, that's SUCH a promise. You have no power, spammer!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Codswallop! Your stupid meme can't give me any surprises other than the initial nasty annoyance of seeing it cross my computer screen, which means some dupe somewhere, fell for it!
🙎♂️😡Memes: 15 or more people: your life improves drastically and your dreams start to take shape.
🤦🏽♀️BP: That implies I don't have any dreams. Or did you mean 'come true' instead of 'to take shape'? Either way, you suck, this shouldn't have been passed on, the end, good bye.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: WRONG! Oh, and guess what? I've already achieved at least some of my dreams, Now, I'm working on giving you a nightmare! Your meme has been mangled, and it will not be sent on to anyone by me!
Over and out!
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