😼CP: ONCE YOU HAVE STARTED READING THIS U CAN'T STOP .
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Actually I can stop any time I want. And you can't do a thing about it. But now that I have started reading, you cannot stop this pasta from being mangled.
😼CP: YESTERDAY AGO
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: "Yesterday ago" ugh. That plus the shouting. This is really obnoxious.
😼CP: THERE WAS A GIRL NAMED SALLY SHE LOVED HER TEDDY BEAR SO MUCH IN TILL ONEDAY SHE DROPPED IT IN A POUND
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: she dropped her teddy in a pound? As in the dog pound? Why on earth? Oh, she's probably stupid.
😼CP: AND SLOWLY WENT IN TO THE LAVA TO
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And here's where the shouting finally ends.
😼CP: take a poop and have butt secks
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It's 'secs' no 'k' when you're writing shorthand for 'seconds'. And if she's taking a dump, she's gonna need more than just a few secs...
😼CP: and GET IT AS SHE WENT FATHERHER IN TO THE POUND
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: 'farther' and so she was going back for her teddy. Why was she at the pound in the first place?
and I had thought the shouting was over. *Sigh*
😼CP: SHE FELT A WARM HAND GRAB HER(edited out)
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Enough of that! *Scowl* The pound is a very public place, and no one is going to get molested there... I also do not want to hear about that.
😼CP: SHE TRYED TO GET AWAY BUT SADLLY SHE WAS ABLE TO GET AWAY SAFELY
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So... She tries to get away, which implies she actually didn't get away, but she sadly gets away? There's so much wrong with both this sentence and your perspective... There's nothing sad about someone escaping a molestation attempt. Sadly she got away?
😼CP: NOW SHE LIVES IN THE OUTSIDE OF LAVA FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well I'd hope so. Nobody should be confined to living in a washroom...
😼CP: IF YOU GO IN TO YOUR RESTROOM AND FILL YOUR BATH TUB WITH LAVA AND TURN ON THE LIGHTS AND UNLOCK THE DOOR SIT IN THE WATER AND
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And make the longest run-on sentence ever... So, now you just thought you'd be cool by putting lava in the lava. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... So funny. Not really.
😼CP: FEEL HER WARM HAND GRAB YOUR...DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, you've said way too much already...
I've got a much better idea. Sally can wrap her warm hands around Zalgo's throat. Or Jeff The Killer's, or Jane Richardson's, or Jess The Killer's.
😼CP: sally's uncles name is Johnny btw
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's the other uncle, the one that molested her.
😼CP: Red <3's Gwen
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What the heck did I just read?
😼CP: hah got him
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You lost me.
😼CP: Anyways the real story of Sally is actually more intense. Plus the detail is actually consumable.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You are not making any sense at all...
😼CP: Sally was a young girl who enjoyed to play and run around. One day she was out in the yard sitting on her tire swing, when a black car drove into the driveway. She knew it could neither be her mother's or father's vehicle. So the young girl, in pure curiosity, found herself walking through the gate of her "secure" back yard. Her little feet carried her to the front of the car that had just stopped in front of where she stood. The car door opened to reveal her smiling uncle.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, this is where creepy uncle Johnny looms into the plot. *Scowl* From what I remember of the Youtube vid I watched on Sally's story, he's a worthless perv of a skin-waste.
😼CP: "Hello Sally!" The middle aged man smiled.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: "Get lost!" The smasher scowled.
😼CP: Sally giggled at the fact she couldn't remember her own uncle's car. "Hello Uncle!"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I don't see what's particularly amusing about that.
😼CP: "Where is your mommy and daddy?" The man said lowering himself to her height.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You! Johnny! Back off! *Glare*
😼CP: "Mommy and daddy are in the house. I think they are making din-din." Sally said in her small voice.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Isn't she a little too old to be using baby talk? The rest of her vocabulary suggests she is.
😼CP: Her uncle nodded, then walked her into the house. Half way through the living room, Sally broke away from her uncle to race into the kitchen.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Good move. Get away from that creep.
😼CP: "Mommy! Mommy! Uncle Steve is here!" Sally squealed in excitement.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wait, what? Okay, I thought you said his name was Johnny. So now this is a different uncle? You should've let me know before I nearly tore this guy to pieces.
😼CP: "Oh really?" Her mother looked over to her father as if apple juice.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? what the heck - I think I've just witnessed a brain death... I just don't get it.
😼CP: Sally rarely understood why her mother was so easily upset with her father, especially when at the moment, her uncle is visiting! But Sally wasn't very observant with her 8 year old mind.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh, the tense-muddling again. And at eight, Sally should also have outgrown talking about "din-din".
But yeah, I'm in the dark about these family problems. I only recall something about an uncle Johnny being a total creep.
😼CP: Her mother and father constantly fought when they thought she wasn't around. But this wasn't one of those situations.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, great, everybody gets treated to a family quarrel.
😼CP: Sally's uncle Steve was never a good man. He was the brother of Sally's father, and when ever he came around, it was assumed by her mother that the invitation was handed over by her father.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, whatever...
😼CP: Steve was a troublesome man, who could never keep a job. Whenever his new wife decided she was tired of his lazy bum loitering around the house and kicked him out, he took a trip back to his brother's home.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, what a winner...
😼CP: "Steve? What are you doing here?"Sally's father asked nervously.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: There, see, obviously Steve wasn't invited. Sally's dad is probably going "Oh, brother, here we go again."
😼CP: "I got kicked out of my wife's house so i came to ask if I could stay with you for awhile?"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What's with this "my wife's house" stuff? A normal way of saying that would be "Mary kicked me out." for example. And no, I don't know Steve's wife's name, I just put the name Mary in for convenience at illustrating my point.
😼CP: Sally's mom looked at Sallys dad
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh. So cumbersome. If Sally's parents had been given names, it could've been so much easier to read. "(Name) looked at (Name)" Or even "Sally's mother looked at her husband" since obviously Sally doesn't have a husband, so there wouldn't be any confusion.
😼CP: and said "for how long?"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, I'm pretty sure nobody knows... Dumb question...
😼CP: Then sally squealed "Maybe forever mommy"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Poor little innocent kid.
😼CP: her mother looked down at her and smiled "forever is a very long time, maybe uncle Steve can stay for the night"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Or maybe he can get a motel.
😼CP: sally looked at her uncle and frowned.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I get this kid. I never wanted visitors going home either when I was that age. But even having company for one night was exciting.
Well, that was definitely confusing, but at least it ends well. Johnny creep never shows up, and who knows what happens with Steve, he probably stays the night and moves on the next morning. Sally got her teddy back from the pound and didn't get in trouble for putting lava in the bath.
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