Oh brother, yet another dumb list of even dumber ideas. Why is this supposed to be entertaining again? The "Ways to annoy/freak out your room mate" was already pointless and stupid, why on earth would anyone want to pass along this crap?
🆔From: a forwarder
To: "Email" ; "Females" ; "Snailmail"
Subject: ⛓📨Ways to Annoy Your Coworkers
😏Meme: Ways to Annoy Your Coworkers
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And show everybody in the building what a desperate, hopeless attention seeker you are.
😏Meme: Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And get yourself sacked from work, a restraining order placed against you for stalking, and alienate yourself from everybody who no longer wants to admit to having known you much less be related to you.
😏Meme: Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And a couple weeks later, find yourself sitting alone on coffee breaks, lunch hours, and having to do piles of work because your fellow co-workers are getting even with you.
😏Meme: Send email to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Sure, and get your email account disabled, or worse, everyone else's accounts deleted because the boss has caught on and has decided to stop your abuse of the email accounts by nixing the service altogether.
😏Meme: Highlight your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And get yourself ignored as a terminal case of shoe-fettish stupidity.
😏Meme: While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And show everyone you can't even keep the woman's name straight, it's Madge. Get help for your fake ocd because no one's going to care let alone be convinced you suddenly idolize and see Madge everywhere.
😏Meme: Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And don't expect anyone to want to get near you unless it's some kinko who's into masochism asking you to their club. Everyone else might think you have some kind of infectious disease or parasite, and no one in their right mind would want to get anywhere near you, let alone give you the attention you so desperately crave.
😏Meme: Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And get yourself fired for not doing your job while keeping the other hard working people from doing theirs.
😏Meme: Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: There it is, the one I've seen cropping up on other "Ways to annoy" chain mail. If you do that, you'll just get ignored as a hopeless idiot who wants attention so bad you actually resort to getting ideas from stupid chain mail.
😏Meme: Send email back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And have your account deleted for abuse of the office computers and email system. Get yourself fired if that co-worker's email was so clogged up by your stupid nonsense that she didn't get a valid and extremely important message.
😏Meme: Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And get suspended from work until you can behave and do your job.
😏Meme: Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And put the trash in your desk.
😏Meme: Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And get yourself fired for trying to fake your way out of doing your work, and doing a lousy job of it.
😏Meme: Send email messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "oh you've got to be faster than that.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And get your bluff called because you were seen by at least one person during the whole lunch hour who exposes you for the pathetic wanna-be joker and terrible liar you are.
😏Meme: Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And get disappointed that you didn't get the whizz-bang effects you thought you'd get. Also, lose your access to the coffee machine and get yourself put on special supervision as a potential dangerous person who tampers with the food and drinks at the office.
And you've accomplished what? Gotten yourself fired, invited to a kinky club, restraining order against you, fines for various other mischief, possibly jail time for food tampering. And when you've gone, everybody's happy!
Over and out!
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