🙎Meme: Subject: FW: Happy Beautiful Woman Month!!!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right - sure...
🤦🏽♀️BP: No such month!
🙎Meme: IT'S BEAUTIFUL WOMAN MONTH & TAG YOU'RE IT!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Hey, no need to be shouty. And what if I don't want to be it, huh?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Argh, stop shouting! Gosh, this has been a long month - I know I got this chain in the past, and not always in the same month! Email tag only works for me if it doesn't tell me to pass it on to anyone else, and the content was written by a friend or acquaintance, not just re-shared.
🙎Meme: Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Did you know that is bull?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well, seeing as there's no such month, and this thing must land in someone's invox every month, you might as well say "Happy Big Stinkin' Lie All The Time!".
🙎Meme: Well, it is and that means you and me. I'm supposed to send this to BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, and you are one of them!!!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, goody, so I'm on your big ole list of people to spam, huh? How special.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So glad to be one of many many many many people of the female persuasion in somebody's address book for junkmail! NOT! Don't give me this "You are beautiful" stuff. I'm too smart and self-assured to fall for that ploy and pass on another useless, erroneous chain. Oh, and I don't know you. So sorry one of my friends and one of their friends, and one of theirs, fell for this dreck.
🙎Meme: Facts on Figures;
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: 'Facts'? Probably...NOT. You should always make sure they really are 'facts' before making that claim.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Yeah...sure. Odds are, these are either totally fake and attempting to look real, or they're intentionally inaccurate in an attempt to be funny.
🙎Meme: There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only eight who do.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you know this, how? Did you measure every woman including every model in the world? Anybody can toss out a fabricated stat and claim it's fact.
🤦🏽♀️BP: See? Crap tidbit in an attempt to be funny. You fail.
🙎Meme: Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well, so what if she did?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Not necessarily.
And while on the subject, Marilyn Monroe (Formerly Norma Jean Baker) was not the model Tinkerbell was based on - that was Margaret Kerry.
Marilyn didn't have an extra toe on one or both feet. That story is just a myth.
🙎Meme: If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
🤦🏽♀️BP: You ever tested that?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh really? Care to explain Dolly Parton then?
🙎Meme: The average woman weighs 144 lb. and wears between a 12-14.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uh, so?
🙎Meme: One out of every four college aged women has an eating! disorder.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Probably...Not. Did you pry in to the lives of every female college student at every college to come up with this? Did you also include universities in these uhm, studies?
🤦🏽♀️BP: An eating! disorder? Random explanation point after eating? Whatever...at any rate, I'd like to see actual statistics, not some crap number you made up. And besides, eating disorders are sensative issues. You shouldn't go poking around in them and then flaunt 'em to the world!
🙎Meme: The models in the magazines are airbrushed -- not perfect!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you know this, how? And it matters, why?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Look, no one's perfect! That's common sense. You don't need to tell people.
🙎Meme: A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh really? And you know this because?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Which study? Who did it? Which magazine? You get what I'm going at, right?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Which psychological study? Conducted by whom and which company or organization? Where was it conducted? How many women? Who were they? What age group? What other contributing factors were observed or missed to come up with these uhm, stats?
🙎Meme: Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh? Well, not my problem.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Blah, blah, blah...
🙎Meme: ~Beauty of a Woman
~ The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well, DUH.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Or the chain letters she forwards, thinking that's how to show she cares.
🙎Meme: The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And not in a dubious email containing only half-truthes, personal opinions and bogus stats and outright lies.
🤦🏽♀️BP: And yet, you think passing on impersonal dreck will show you care?
🙎Meme: The beauty of a woman Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her
soul.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wow, desperate to find a rhyme with soul, weren't ya? Mole? Gah...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And is not to be found in a meme that's full of holes.
🙎Meme: It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years -- only grows.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And grows and grows, without these useless meme snows. With the spreading of memes, beauty slows.
🤦🏽♀️BP: And forwards don't do anything to help that, y'know!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Now, is it finally done? I don't think I could survive one more stanza of this sacchariny drip!
🙎Meme: An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing," on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Which english professer was that? Where and when did he or she write that? What level of students? Freshmen, sophomores, seniors? Names, place, date and time, please.
🤦🏽♀️BP: *sigh* I can see where this is going...
🙎Meme: The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, right, sure...
🤦🏽♀️BP: Bingo! And here it is, the whole gender wars thing.
🙎Meme: The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, right, sure. Where are the papers proving this?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, shut up! I'm so sick of one gender or the other arguing superiority! Rrrrgg...at any rate, your little story is just among the other 'facts' in this forward, and thus of no account.
🙎Meme: The Images of Mother
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for goodness sakes!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Aaaghh! It never ends!
🙎Meme: 4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: YEOUCH! The caplock! It hurts!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Was there any real point capitalizing the age?
🙎Meme: 8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Cringes*
🤦🏽♀️BP: I get it, I get it! You like capslock! Now give it a break!
🙎Meme: 12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
🤦🏽♀️BP: So...this is everyone, right? Well, you're wrong.
🙎Meme: 14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ahem! Are you speaking from experience? Did you lose your mom before you turned 45? Sadly, that happens. I've known people for whom one or both parents died long before that. But you really didn't have to write this thing in all caps and put it into a chain letter... This chain letter really isn't fair to anyone trying to cope with the grief of the loss of their mom, you know.
🙎Meme: 65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's about the most believable part of this chain - if you were, like me, fortunate enough to grow up in a good relationship with your mother, and maintain one until she's passed on. But it isn't like that for everyone..
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well, if you have a good relationship with your mom, or lots of other factors.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Here we come to the crux of this thing, the "Pass it on!" which is the ultimate goal of every chain letter originator! You see, this chain is designed to:
1. flatter you for being a beautiful woman.
2. Then it goes on telling you that it isn't so bad or uncommon to not look like a supermodel, with a few erroneous 'facts' tossed in for good measure.
3. Then it packs in a few silly pieces of psycho-babble about how women feel ashamed and not beautiful enough, and how a supposed experiment by an obscure English professer proved that each gender regards itself as better.
If all that hasn't put you in a forwarding mood,
4. A really sickly sweet poem gushing on about the glories of womanhood, and then a touching prose about Mother, to which no author has been attributed, are inserted. Well of course, poems will do it every time!
5. THEN, comes the hard sell, and I am not buying it. the "Send it on to all the beautiful women and boost their egos!"
🙎Meme: ***Please do
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: NOT
🙎Meme: send this to at least five phenomenal women today
🤦🏽♀️BP: And, here we go! Nopety, nope, nope, nopers!
🙎Meme: in celebration of Women's History Month.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Hey, what? Now we're celebrating two months? Sheesh, make up your mind...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? I thought it was 'Beautiful Women Month' Now it's 'Women's History Month"? I don't get it, what's up with the inconsistancy? Which is it? 'Beautifully Historical Women Month' maybe?
Let's revise this a little, shall we?
🙎Meme: If you do, something good will
🤦🏽♀️BP: Bull.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: NOT
🙎Meme: happen.... YOU will
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: NOT
🙎Meme: boost another woman's self-esteem
🤦🏽♀️BP: Maybe if she buys into this stuff! Gah!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It won't give her an ego-boost especially if she has gotten this several times from unrelated email sources. She will see this for what it is, just another meme, this one attempting to play on both the wish to boost up our friends and be boosted ourselves. You can better boost her self esteem by writing her a personal note.
Or you might boost it with this meme, but only if this was the first time you and your meming friend ever saw it, and then only because you and she were fool enough to pass on memes and take them for truth.
Oh, and there are chain letters of this type designed to get the men forwarding too. Only in their case, it's "why it's better to be a man".
NEWSFLASH: It's not the gender that makes a person better or beautiful, it's the personality. So, assuming everybody's equal until somebody does something to earn admiration and respect, or get notoriety, infamy and enemies, let's cut the gender cliches along with the chain mail and start sending stuff we actually took the time to write!
Over and out!
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