A really stupid attempt at humor via chain letter called "God's One Mistake" was posted at this brainiac Pradeep Sekhar's blog.
Let's mangle it!
🙎♂️Meme: When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hel-lo! This is the 21st century, women are not property! It's no wonder your wife left you.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uh, hey, women aren't property, y'know! It's not like someone stealing your toaster.
🙎♂️Meme: After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Gosh, it must've taken you at least a month of pondering to come up with that little tidbit of halfwittery. I'll say one thing for it though, at least it isn't a put-down of either gender. That doesn't negate the fact that it's still a pretty dull view of marriage in general.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Gah, what, so you're implying that married people can't stand each other? Stupid!
🙎♂️Meme: By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Philosopher? Don't try your hand at it, man, you terminally stink at it! Anyway, what about being a good husband? I don't suppose that thought has entered your mind yet.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, that's a riot! You, thinking you know a darn about philosophy! Don't try it. You don't have the brain for it.
🙎♂️Meme: Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That all depends on what you call "great" I guess... So stop wussing out. Whatever you fail to achieve, don't blame the woman, because it's your own dang fault! Got it?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, please! Don't blame the women for all your failures!
🙎♂️Meme: The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Since you're clearly a nitwit, you'll never know...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Stuff you can't get me and I wouldn't take from you if you could. Including the death of this chain letter! I'm getting what I want out of it by mangling it.
🙎♂️Meme: I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well I guess that says she's further along in language and communication skills than you are...Dunce.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Maybe you ought to expand your vocabulary. You probably won't be able to remember any new words, though.
🙎♂️Meme: 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uh, yeah, well, I'm not 'some people', so keep your 'secret' to yourself.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, whatever, well, I don't know you and don't care about your long marriage, and never asked about whatever secret you supposedly have, which isn't a secret any more, now, is it?
🙎♂️Meme: 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well yeah, weddings are expensive, so are funerals,.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Life is expensive, pal. Live with it!
🙎♂️Meme: 'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: The first one was obviously brighter.
🤦🏽♀️BP: H'm! I can't blame the first one!
🙎♂️Meme: Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
🤦🏽♀️BP: What, assuming all women are argumentative twerps and all guys are dummer than a sack of wet beans? Bull!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That cuts both ways, man. Oh, but you subscribe to that chain letter stereotype which says girls can only argue and guys can only be wrong when opening their mouths. *Pfffft* By the way, you're wrong. But you don't have to admit it. Just shut up.
🙎♂️Meme: The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Again, cuts both ways. Ever heard of a calendar?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Y'know, there are these magically devices called CALENDARS out there...you might want to find one.
🙎♂️Meme: You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So? Does that also include your formative years? Gosh, you must've been one intolerable bratty kid if your parents let you do whatever you wanted.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wow! Brat!
🙎♂️Meme: My wife and I were happy for twenty years Then we met.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And you were stupid enough to marry each other? Oh, and, she wasn't your wife for the 20 years before you met, just thought I should point that out for you, since you're apparently not too swift of wit.
🤦🏽♀️BP: You are aware that she wasn't your wife until you met, right? So your logic is obviously flawed. And if you don't like each other, why the heck did you get married?
🙎♂️Meme: A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wait, she forgives him when SHE'S wrong? Yeah, that makes sense...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's not a good wife, that's a woman with issues or a man with a hopeless case of arrogance, or heck, both! Step back, both of you!
🙎♂️Meme: A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
🤦🏽♀️BP: So, 101 morons...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Apparently a lot of stupid people read that paper.
🙎♂️Meme: First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
🤦🏽♀️BP: Pssh! Shut it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: She's probably moaning the same thing about you. Die!
Over and out!
Comment options: