🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Women are a big target for chain letters, especially the sappy kind that tells you you deserve the best for being a woman and you should treat those around you better than gold because they are also women. Gah! Here goes.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Gah! Oh, the stupidity! Sheesh, that does it-I'm takin' a crack at this one!
🙇♀️Meme: A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wow, how monumental...*rolls eyes*
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Is this going to turn into an iced tea glurge?
🙇♀️Meme: As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter..
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, don't forget that all important ice clink, the story just wouldn't be any good without it!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Since the ice cubes matter SO much...and this is starting to smack of something...can't quite place it, yet...pretty sure it's something useless and pointless and utterly stupid, though...
🙇♀️Meme: 'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Um...again, unnecessary details. Does it really matter if she swirled her tea leaves?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Sheesh, are you going to cronicle every swig, sip, gulp, guzzle, swirl, clank of all their ice-tea as it goes from glass to mouth, down the gullet and finally into the intestine? Because if you are, you might as well know that is uber Mary Sue-ish in a very irritating way.
I'd hate to be the director or actor if this thing was ever made into a short film!
🙇♀️Meme: 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, right, so forget about everyone else! Sheesh, what kind of crappy advice is that!? Yeah, it's totally just fine and dandy to ditch everyone else for the sake of these "sisters"! Aaaaaaaggh! Freakin' heck!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Sorry, but, that could apply to anyone. You will always need people, let's just leave it at that, and stop elevating women on some higher pedestal just for being women! Besides, what a strange, absolutely contrived conversation this is turning out to be. Why is this mother so concerned over a non-issue? Is it an issue? Did the daughter all of a sudden completely twink out and forget she had sisters when she got married and got a family of her own? Were her sisters jealous of the husband and kids? Did one of them put the mother up to giving this daughter the great "Rah rah rah! SIS boom bah!" pep-talk? Oy, oyoyoy, twisted, warped, ugh!
🙇♀️Meme: Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them..' 'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, please, is this going to turn into some "I am woman, hear me be superior to all males because I am woman" thing? So do the guys not matter? Right...this is crap. Crappity-crap-crap-crappers.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Because if you don't make extra special time for every woman in your life just because they are women, you're cheating yourself and them out of so much of the absolutely bestest, goodest, womanly things in all of life! Please, give me a break!
🙇♀️Meme: What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, wow, you just realized this? Right, I forgot, you're a ditz, you'd have to be to get caught in this conversation!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, the problem is exactly that - you got married - to a MAN, who is taking all that extra precious time away from every woman in your life who are all your SISTERS don'tcha know! *Rolleyes* Man, this chain is stupid, I don't see how anybody could get moved to tears over it!
🙇♀️Meme: Haven't I just joined the couple-world?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Wha...? Couple-World? I wasn't aware that couples had their own world...perhaps you mean the married part of life...I myself am surprised you're married to begin with. Poor guy...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: "Couple world?" And I thought it was only your mother with the weird issues. Chick, there is no "couple world" You don't have to have your hubby glued to your side 24/7!
🙇♀️Meme: I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Didn't we establish this already? Then again, you are a ditz...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Duh, that was established at the beginning of this story! Again, you don't have to be joined with your man at the hip 24/7, for goodness sake!
🙇♀️Meme: A grownup!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: If you really were grown up, you wouldn't feel you had to go everywhere with your husband or drag him everywhere with you. It wouldn't kill you to go your own ways once in a while, boys/girls night out and getting together with friends of your own gender doesn't stop just because you got married, or it shouldn't. What if you and your hubby were asked out and something came up so that he couldn't make it, would you jam out just because he couldn't be there and you're afraid people would gossip? Sheesh!
🤦🏽♀️BP: I know plenty of married people who still act like kids sometimes! Getting married doesn't magically make you act like an adult...
🙇♀️Meme: Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'
🤦🏽♀️BP: Gaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhh...*brain cells dying* Help...need...to escape...stupidity...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so you, your hubby and little kiddylets, all you need, and everybody else who ever loved you before the great love of your life and future kids came along can just jump out of your life and off a bridge, I suppose? Were you one of those people who used friends until you found new friends and no longer needed your old friends and threw them away when you were growing up too? Because that's the impression you're making, and chick, it ain't pretty.
🙇♀️Meme: But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Again, so the guys are useless? One word for you: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So, that's it? One iced tea and a bit of a pep-talk and strenuous argument, and this woman just suddenly does everything right?
🙇♀️Meme: As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.. After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned: THIS SAYS IT ALL: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: CLUE, women don't do what they're supposed to either, and I mean, real ones, not the cardboard cutout nicey girly girls in chain letters! As for the rest, who needs chain letters telling them that? Just living, you eventually find out these things.
🤦🏽♀️BP: DUH. Sheesh, anyone who's been here for any appreciable amount of time could tell ya that! And what the heck does the men line mean? I know plenty of women who flub things up plenty badly!
🙇♀️Meme: Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
🤦🏽♀️BP: And people like me attack people like you! Hooray, now we all learned something. (Except me. I'm just here to smash this to oblivion! Mahahaha!)
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Again, who needs a chain letter telling them what life experience does? Please!
🙇♀️Meme: BUT.......... Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uh, no. It's just stupid to assume someone is always going to be there for you just because that someone is a woman. In fact, I have evidence against it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Um, I hate to break it to you, but sisters are prone to the same short-comings and misfortunes as you or anyone else. Sisters grow up. Sisters come and go. Sisters break hearts. Sisters forget favors. Sisters end careers. Sisters die.
🙇♀️Meme: A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
🤦🏽♀️BP: WRONG. And you're implying that someone can't have a really good guy friend. I think that's bull. Utter complete BULL.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh sure she's there, unless she dies, and you have to settle for remembering rather than actually getting together with her. And one doesn't always get along with one's girl friends. Sisters don't always do what they're supposed to do either. Like men, they abandon, cheat, fight, love, appreciate and the whole gamet of positive and negative.
🙇♀️Meme: When you have to walk that lonesome valley
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brother!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Hey, now we're in a poorly written soap opera! *rolls eyes* Mind you, that's saying a lot...since all soap operas are by default poorly written...so to be poorly written among the poorly written is QUITE the accomplishment...
🙇♀️Meme: and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
🤦🏽♀️BP: What, and the guys can't be supportive either? Sheesh, right about now, I'd like to hit whoever started this with a bowling ball! WHAM! SMACK!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What rules? And where, besides in this incredibly cheesy, sickly sweet chain letter, is it written that the women do all that as if their gender makes them somehow more caring and more angelic just for being women? Sheesh! And you don't realize that women can actually cause you to "walk that lonesome valley" in the first place. So can men. I'm saying that people are people, everyone's an individual, and attributing the valley image and the caring stuff only to women is absolutely silly. Men stick together just as much, especially in a war situation where the stronger help the weaker and the less injured help out the more severely injured.
🙇♀️Meme: Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Notice how no guys are mentioned....
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yadda yadda blah blah and on and on and on - so you've shown you are obsessed with being a woman, and you can list just about every possible relation a woman could be or could have. And I noticed you didn't name any of the male relations except in a sweeping generalization "extended family" and even then I'm not sure you meant to include them. I won't bother to ramble off a category list of male relations for you.
🙇♀️Meme: The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: DUH! That's because you wouldn't be here and neither would anybody else! Men can't make babies all on their own, neither can women, so without either half of the equation, the world would eventualy end up with no people! Understand? This is such a brain-cell killer!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Well, that's because no one would be here without women AND men. You can't just place one gender on a pedestal! It doesn't work that way.
🙇♀️Meme: When we began this adventure called womanhood,
🤦🏽♀️BP: Huh? How does that even make sense? Since when is being a girl a big quest or journey? You have a very wonked-out brain...but this chain letter kills off brain cells, so that makes sense.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* "Adventure?" My fictional characters go on adventures. People who travel , go on adventures. Womanhood is not an "adventure" it's a faze of female human life!
🙇♀️Meme: we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other..
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well good for you, you learned something about life. Now go away!
🤦🏽♀️BP: As in the human race, not just the girls! Sheesh, I'm getting REALLY sick of this crap! Yeah, life is hard sometimes, but that doesn't mean-AAAAAAGGGGH! Oh, burn it all!
🙇♀️Meme: To all the ladies, celebrate sisterhood, embrace womanhood; God Himself said our worth is "far above rubies". (Proverbs 31:10)
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, don't EVEN quote scriptures at me, you moron! I'm so sick of all the crap out there that says just because you're a girl you have some default superiority to guys. Both genders are equally important, and anyone who says otherwise has a new best friend: my fist!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That passage was written long ago, when women didn't have equal rights and messed up society was fine and dandy with that arrangement. Now, you're twisting it to go the other way, and in a "We are women, hear us WUV!" chain letter with a terribly written story that had no real plot, just a bunch of gender-obsessed twaddle! That scripture doesn't even belong here, stop exploiting Christianity and misusing scriptures in this viral gunk! AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
🙇♀️Meme: Every day, we need each other still.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Speak for yourself, because I don't need you.
🤦🏽♀️BP: And neither do I! Yeesh, like I want to hang around with a wackidoo like you...
🙇♀️Meme: Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, no...
🤦🏽♀️BP: Yeah, think I'll be passin' on that...
🙇♀️Meme: I just did. Short and very sweet:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: There's nothing sweet about people who never spare so much as a thought for you until they get this saccharin gunk in their email, and then suddenly they forward it on, believing that's caring and expressing some kind of gratitude for I dunno what - oh, please! No kidding. All that schlock in the supposedly short and very sweet about sisters always being there for you and helping you out of that lonesome valley - where the heck was the friend who forwarded it when the recipient was having tough times in real life and needing support? Nowhere!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Exactly! These forwards are just pathetic mockeries- if the sender really wanted to send on something to cheer someone up, or even just to say hello, they would write an actual e-mail! Doesn't matter how long, it's the fact that it's REAL that counts.
🙇♀️Meme: There are more than twenty angels in this world.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, like around Six hundred Million chain letter Angels!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Urgh, sheesh...too many fake angels!
🙇♀️Meme: Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh I'll bet they are having sweet dreams about a world where all real communication stops because everybody's too busy blabbing and re-sharing the memes to show any tangible sign of reaching out personally and sincerely to anyone else.
🤦🏽♀️BP: *shudder* Urgh...dreams for them, nightmares for the sane people!
🙇♀️Meme: Nine are playing.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yep, playing on the emotions of people everywhere, with chain letters!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Heh! True.
🙇♀️Meme: And one is
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, don't even go there! I can guess what comes next, and if I'm right, I will not go bald tomorrow. My guess at what comes next? You're going to hit me with some huge flattery that is almost irresistible to forwarders who are fond of this type of chain. You're going to call me an angel…
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, gag...you better not say what I think you're gonna say...
🙇♀️Meme: reading her email at this moment.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I knew it! ARGH! Okay, for the record, I'm no angel, not even close, and I REALLY dislike this attempted butter-up job! I also will not return the - uh - *choke* compliment, but I do not think you're an angel either!
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, come on! I'm nowhere nearing being an angel, heck, I'm not even sort of angelic. That sort of compliment REALLY doesn't sit well with me, so you better just get the heck outta here, chain-loser.
🙇♀️Meme: Send this message to ten of your friends including me.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Gah! Nothing doing, sweetheart! and no, I wasn't complimenting you. You just want to get people spamming others and get copies back to collect everybody's email addresses!
🤦🏽♀️BP: H'm! You'll not be getting MY e-mail address, pally!
🙇♀️Meme: If you get 5 replies,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Not gonna happen because I'm not sending it to anyone!
🤦🏽♀️BP: And neither am I! This thing should have died a long time ago...
🙇♀️Meme: someone you love will surprise you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm sure being asked by someone I love to stop with the chain letters would be quite a surprise if I was afflicted with forwarditis and under the delusion that I had just sent something super meaningful! Or I might be surprised to find no one emailing me ever again and probably wouldn't ever realize it was because no one wanted to keep encouraging my chain-addiction but weren't gutsy enough to tell me.
Yeah, to all you people out there who never take the time to reach out and contact your friends, go out with them etc, you're never there for them, and then suddenly you send your friends this drip, clearly you don't practice what it preaches, and at least some recipients secretly grit their teeth in annoyance whenever they get emails from you because they know it's not really you, but some canned mushy junk that tugged at your heartstrings.
🤦🏽♀️BP: *applauds* Here here!
🙇♀️Meme: Happy days!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? What's that got to do with anything?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Uhm, what? What did that have to do with anything? Oh, right...NOTHING!
🙇♀️Meme: Don't break this; it's working
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Working to manipulate some people and tick off others, yeah, which is why it is not merely broken here, but utterly mangled.
🤦🏽♀️BP: mangled and incinerated. *pulls out cyber flamethrower and utterly incinerates stupid chain* And don't come back!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Over and out!
Comment options: