Subject: Fwd: Fw: MEN'S ANSWER TO MAXINE( semi adult)p
🐕🚹Meme: MEN'S ANSWER TO MAXINE! I'm sure you men think this is the way it should be
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: If you do, you're not a man as far as I'm concerned.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh boy...I can tell where this is going! All intelligent life, prepare for stupidity! To the brain shelter!
🐕🚹Meme: Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, why not? If chain letters favoring women can use the "You're being hard done by because you're a woman, so strike back and spam the net!" so can pro-male chain letters, right?
🤦🏽♀️BP: Sheesh...well, if there are chains that put women on a pedestal, I suppose it's normal for guys to make the opposite.
🐕🚹Meme: How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, right, and lemme guess, you expect dinner to be on the table when you get home, the house to be perfectly clean, and for the woman to sit there and wait on your every beck and call. Well, guess what? It isn't gonna happen! If you're the kind of lazy butt who can't even open a freakin' beer, I highly doubt you have enough IQ points to even get the can to your mouth without dribbling all over yourself like the caveman you are.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Why? Because you're too busy passing on and possibly originating dumb chain letters to open your own darn beer? If you don't open it yourself and there's nothing physically keeping you from doing so, you're not old enough to have beer. Wait about four more years and then you just might be eligible for pree-school. For now, stay in your cradle, shut up and drink your milk.
🐕🚹Meme: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, so you expect to laze about at home with beer galore while the woman does all the work, huh? Look, with an attitude like that, no sane woman would ever give even dating you a serious thought.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Newsflash: it takes money to use a laundromat! Suggestion for you: lay off the beer, get off your lazy butt and get a job - if anyone'll hire you, that is! What a novel concept! Oh, you have to finish school first...
🐕🚹Meme: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uhm no, women have smaller feet because they are generally smaller than men, period. DUH! For that matter, men have longer arms so they can reach the stove and kitchen sink better, so, there! Your theory all shot to heck!
🤦🏽♀️BP: H'm! Well, how about this: guys are bigger so they can do more work, and that includes all the house work. Do you see how that doesn't work? Guys are usually bigger than girls, that's just how it is!
🐕🚹Meme: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Roflol Dream on! Anyway, what if she said "A man once told me the sky turns green with pink polka dots after every new moon" would you still consider that smart? Or how about this gem "A man once told me that you're an idiot" You're getting the idea, right?
🤦🏽♀️BP: How about this...A man once told me that you're an oxygen wasting moron. Oooh, since I a guy said it, that must make it true! *rolls eyes*
🐕🚹Meme: How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And a good clock over your head with the nearest blunt object to knock some sense into you. BTW, about that watch, take it to the jeweller's for repairs!
🤦🏽♀️BP: You know what else will be on the it? What's left of your face after I smash it into the oven! For goodness sakes, take the watch to a jewler!
🐕🚹Meme: Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Let me get this straight: if you talk less, you fart more? Wonder why I don't have a really really scary case of gas then after a long drive, work shift, or sleep? What's the mouth got to do with the butthole anyway? Rubbish!
🤦🏽♀️BP: You know, that really doesn't work. Some guys never shut up, so does that mean they have this magic mouth-butt bypass thing too? Or is that just girls? Oh, you didn't think about that, did you? Figured.
🐕🚹Meme: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Obviously you don't know dogs, even though you are one yourself; so what did you do for some girl to put you in the doghouse anyway?
🤦🏽♀️BP: You know, I'd've figured someone who acts like such a pig would at least SORT OF know how other animals behave, but I guess not. Dogs can spazz out for as long as they want. Besides, human beings trump animals. Deal with it.
🐕🚹Meme: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
🤦🏽♀️BP: Said the chauvinist pig.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Only if you're a male Chauvinist pig...
🐕🚹Meme: I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And she didn't know your name was Mr. "GetMe A. Beer, either.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Aaarrggh, you know, you're one to talk, Mr. Cook, clean, and shut up
🐕🚹Meme: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Lemme guess, you're the kind of guy who likes to slut it up. You probably didn't even want to get married, because that would cramp your 'style', and I use that term loosely. You probably would have the gaul to be upset at your wife for being upset at you after she discovered you were having an affair. You would probably enjoy going to sluttly clubs where you can gawk at every scantily clad slut that crosses your path. So, this whole wedding cake business is your way of saying you're an idiotic gutterbrain. Besides, that wedding cake thing is a load of trash.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Well doofus, you're not supposed to have sex until you're married, so how would you know about any diminishes? Anyway, stupid much? If that was the case, they'd be feeding wedding cake to anyone else who wants or should stop whatever sex drive they have. In other words, the cake itself isn't some discerning being that would go to work on only newly wed women, or just women in general for that matter...
In fact, this dumb joke has been seen in another forward which will be mangled along with this one.
🐕🚹Meme: Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Yeah, if you're all overdramatic about the fact that your wife doesn't bend to your every whim.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I've got a very different theory on that but you wouldn't like it. It involves men actually *gasp* showing emotion VS the macho beasts who believe it's weak and wrong to do so. These macho beasts only show how tough they want everyone thinking they are, thereby killing themselves suppressing any other emotion they don't consider masculine. These brutes don't live as long as the well-rounded men who have progressed beyond this primitive mindset. Feminists and mgtow are continuing to perpetuate this poison.
🐕🚹Meme: Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
🤦🏽♀️BP: *sigh* Appearances are appearances, bub.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's just looks - who cares? Anyway, with your attitude, it doesn't matter how you look, you couldn't get much further from sexy. So take that, you nitwit.
🐕🚹Meme: In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Oh, DON'T EVEN! You try that one more time, and see what happens! I guarentee you won't like it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Sacreligious crap! Besides, ever heard of the Sabbath?
🐕🚹Meme: Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth!
🤦🏽♀️BP: The truth!? Don't make me laugh! This is pretty dang far from the truth!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, there are gender specific chain letters, and then there's the real truth. If you want to send on truth, don't pass this on! Of course, if you're too dim to know the difference, this suggestion is likely to fall on deaf ears anyway.
🐕🚹Meme: AND MAXINE SAYS.....
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, I say...
Only suckers pass on chain letters.
🤦🏽♀️BP: I don't give a darn what Maxine says. I say, can it!
Wedding Cake Is Deadly Stale Old Joke
🐕🚹Meme: Subject: FW: This Explains it
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brother, more halfwittery.
🤦🏽♀️BP: *Sigh* Here we go...
🐕🚹Meme: A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford .
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Which doctor? And this isn't exactly Oxford material.
🤦🏽♀️BP: Heh, what, no name? Just 'a doctor'? I'll fix that. *ahem* 'Doctor Halfwit was addressing a large audience of brainwashed PC freaks in a park near Oxford...'
🐕🚹Meme: "The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realise the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's not a doctor, that's an all out quack...
🤦🏽♀️BP: 'Doctor Halfwit began to spin all sorts of tales to the PC people, and they ate it up. He told them that all the food they love to eat was going to kill them, and oh, did they cheer his 'wisdom'!
🐕🚹Meme: But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and most of us have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, anything touted in a forward, metaphorically speaking.
🤦🏽♀️BP: But then, Doctor Halfwit made his most astonishing claim yet. All the PC people were perplexed. Was he actually asking THEM? However would they work up the courage to talk to him?
🐕🚹Meme: After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand and said softly: "Wedding Cake?"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, because it supposedly stops a woman's sex drive according to the men VS. Maxine chain, which means it must totally cause the most grief and suffering - oh, please!
That's a stinky old shoe joke and I've seen it crop up in other forwards. KILL IT! I'm not laughing!
🤦🏽♀️BP: And then, Old Man Dimwit shouted to the sky "Wedding cake!", and there was much rejoicing.
Bah. Stale, stupid joke. Not funny. The end, goodbye.
Over and out!
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