Talk about wanting to huck something.
This is yet another dreadful forward aimed at women and a horrible mockout of the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" prayer, so it's sacreligious as well. After that, comes a bunch of other dreck that I do not see how anyone could possibly appreciate, including a really stupid to the max boob joke, so this gets a little bit off-color at the end, something else I don't like. Argh! Mangle time!
👩Meme: Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, please, if you haven't anything better to pray about, why bother?
👩Meme: Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: How about praying for help with your vanity issues?
👩Meme: Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Without a belly, which holds your intestine in, you'd be in trouble. How about praying for a way to learn to like yourself and get a life? Age spots or not, you WILL age. You can either live long, and age, or you can not age, by dying young. Which would you prefer? No, that's not a grim view, it's reality...
👩Meme: Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Young at heart, but not young... You will always be 50 if you've lived 50 years, 90 if you've lived 90. You can't turn back the clock and change your actual birth date. If you could literally do that, you'd have to disappear and be somehow reborn again in another womb, into another family. Stop being so vain and selfish. You sure were short on thanks and long on the superficial demands for making you look like some supermodel. If this is what women are aiming for, it's sad, it really is.
👩Meme: Five tips for a woman....
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You mean 5 nuggets of stupid crap.
👩Meme: 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What the frack!? I'd advise any man to run at the sight of you, and no, not because of your looks! Unlike you, I am a modern woman, not a damsel in distress. It is important that I have a job and can manage to take care of myself, and that I can get some help when I need it, from whoever is able, man or woman.
👩Meme: 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong! It is important that people can make one another laugh!
👩Meme: 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Actually it is more important that you are someone who doesn't lie and who can be counted on, and that the people you know, regardless of gender, are as well!
👩Meme: 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: NOT!
Note to all dudes out there, if you come across the chick who started this chain letter, run for your lives! Note to girls who want to be sensible, well-balanced women, and admired for who they are, break this chain and don't follow its antiquated ideas and poor excuse of a vanity-filled prayer!
I don't need a man to love me. If I want to be spoiled, I'll spoil myself a little... That way, I won't be a coddled little pansy, indebted to any man, and everyone else's pain in the gear-shaft!
👩Meme: 5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? What 4 men? Oh, I get it, each "man" reference in the above "Adore me, I'm a woman who depends on men for my every little thing!" guck! So, which 4 men are you talking about? Are you into *twitch* polyandry or something?
Let's get this straight. A couple of theories here.
1. you don't want these 4 men to know each other, so they can't all get together and discuss and figure out how you've managed to get them all clambering to your side at your every beck and call when you could've done a heckload of stuff for yourself all along!
2. You don't believe men are multifaceted, and deeply thinking as you are (what a joke) and so you believe:
The man who helps you around the house and has a job is capable of only that - like a robot, but he is incapable of emotion, so not able to love you or lie to you, or make you laugh, and if he breaks down, he can't even be counted on.
The man who makes you laugh, can't hold a job, can't help you around the house, doesn't lie, but also doesn't have the money to spoil you.
The man who doesn't lie and can be counted on, can't help around the house, can't make you laugh, probably because he doesn't possess a sense of humor, and hasn't the money to spoil you. So, he can be counted on for what again? To, maybe tell you you haven't lost your shape or something?
And the man who loves you and spoils you, can't help you around the house or make you laugh, doesn't have a job (must be born into a lot of money then I guess) but also doesn't have a sense of humor, and can't be counted on not to lie?
However this is looked at, you suck!
👩Meme: Foot Note:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, seriously!?
👩Meme: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAGGGGGGHHH! *gag!* That is incredibly stupid!
👩Meme: Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, don't! If you're bright and funny, you will not send this to anyone!
👩Meme: WE ALL NEED TO SMILE !!!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Maybe, but this meme gets only scowling and disgust from me!
👎
Over and out!
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