Mary came up with another bogus story that scared people.
But not me.
* * *
Mary: My names Mary.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf:Hello again, Mary... Did you really think you could get another hoax by me?
Mary: You need to read this and you can't stop untill the end.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You need this thing mangled, and I'm stopping between every phrase to clobber this meme right to the end. You'll need a whole new ego by the time I'm through destroying the one you have, liar.
Mary: If you think this is one of the boring chain-mail letters, then you are wrong.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Who said anything about boring? It's laughable.
... ... ... ... ...
Mary: I'm going to tell you a story.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh goody, everybody gather 'round, Mary is going to tell a story. *Snicker*
Mary: The story is about a girl called Sara.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ah, well, since this Sara is minus an 'h' in her name, she isn't Sarah Smith, Break-up Sarah, or the 12-year-old dealive Sarah who wants to beat up some girls.
Mary: Sara found a message one morning lying on her bed. She had no idea how it got there but how it did, we will not find out.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well Mary, it's your tall tale, so I can tell how the message got on Sara's bed, you imagined it there yourself. Well okay, Sara did, but technically you did since it's your story.
Mary: The message said just one word, and that word was "Run".
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Laughing* Mary, you're gonna wish you took that advice when I'm done with you.
Mary: Sara thought it was her little brother pulling a prank on her, but she thought wrong.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Because you get to write each little thought of the characters in your story, and determine if their thoughts are wrong or right, well, Mary, I can do that, too...
Mary: So sara burnt the note before she went to bed.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uh Mary, your Sara is just a bit over-dramatic. Why not just toss the note in the trash? Better still, before trashing it, why not show it to her little brother and find out for sure that she thought wrong, as you put it? Oh, I get it, you're trying to be scary. Hah. You fail.
Mary: When she woke up she found the same note lying on the bottom of her bed.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Because you probably wore out a photocopier making duplicates of this note to freak Sara out every time she burned a copy. And you stalk your characters while they sleep...
Mary: Again, before she went to bed she burnt the note.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay Mary, why did she wait all day to burn that copy? Why not trash it immediately upon discovery? Seems your Sara character is a few bricks short, if you know what I mean. either that or you're just a very sloppy writer who's trying too hard to scare people into not going to sleep. I'll take a bit of both.
Mary: The next morning, she found not a note, but a letter.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: A letter as in one alphabet letter, or one of your stupid chain letters?
Mary: The letter read:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Something that probably scared the heck out of your Sara character, but won't succeed with me.
Mary: Sara, i am watching you, if you don't run i will kill you. Don't belive me? Well you are unwise. I will give you till Sunday at mid-night to get as far away from this house as you can. Mary.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I was right about you, Mary, and if you kill Sara in your story, you will meet a particularly horrible fate in the one I'll put you into. And you might want to learn to spell 'believe'.
Mary: Sara did not think this was real, so she carried on with normal life.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: She would be right, Mary.
Mary: On sunday at mid-night, she heard a bang from under her bed.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Snickers* Trying the old ghost under the bed yarn? Mary, that hoax has been around for ages, so if you thought you were being scary and original, you weren't.
Mary: She got up and turned her light on. She looked in her mirror on the wall and saw bloody Mary.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahahahahaha! Gotcha, Mary! You are so ended!
Mary: She smashed the mirror with her hair brush and looked under the bed.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'd guess that your Sara was just having a bad dream, and probably sleep-walking.
Mary: Nothing.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Exactly, Mary, because you are nothing.
Mary: Then the light flickered and went out.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, in your brain...
Mary: She thought that the light bulb had just died. She was wrong.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Again with your wrong thought thing. Well Mary, you will find out soon enough who is really thinking wrong.
Mary: "I told you to run Sara, but you did not. I told you i would kill, you, and your life ends here."
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Watch it, Mary, you are heading for serious trouble, and you won't like it.
Mary: Sara turned around and saw a Girl wrapped in chains with blood dripping down her face.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, the girl being you, Mary, the chains consisting of all the chain letters you've made up, and the blood consisting of unset cherry Jell-o. Yeah, you're not scaring me.
Mary: The girl, she guessed, was Mary. She belived now. Mary had a knife in her hand, a real knife, and stabbed Sara in the stomache nice and slowley, so Sara felt it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Slowly, Mary? As I said in the mangling of the Clarissa chain, that doesn't work. If Sara is capable of feeling anything and caring about her life ending, she's not going to just sit there, stationary and let you draw your knife slowly through her, not even the real tinfoil one you have there. Sara is going to fight you off to try and save herself. And this is just one of the reasons your story flunks the horror test. Besides, your knife is nothing but real thin plastic covered with foil to look like a real knife, and you will lose that, too, Mary.
Mary: Sara screamed and slowly bled to death.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You must've decided she would have incredibly thin skin, like a pear, to be pierced by that little toy you have there. And now, Mary, you will be the one screaming soon.
Mary: So you are thinking, "What does this have to do with me?"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No actually, Mary, you thought wrong. I'm thinking of your demise and how I'll carry it out.
Mary: Well if you do not send this on Mary will come to your room on the nearest possible Sunday at mid-night and kill you.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. If I don't send this on, I won't be an idiot, and if you dare to come to my house, Mary, it's the last stop you will ever make.
Mary: This is no joke.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You're a big liar, Mary. To you and your other hoaxing dealive pals or rivals, whatever relation they are to you, the whole thing is a joke, a very bad one, on anyone you can scare into spamming the net with your ridiculous loads of bullcrap. You may be laughing at all the people you've managed to bully and frighten into passing along your stupid junk, but I am not, and your laughter won't last long either.
Mary: Don't be unwise like Sara.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I won't be a spaz and burn "Run" but neither will I be foolish and pass on your stupid chain letter either.
Mary: Be wise,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Exactly, by not sending your stupid chain letter...
Mary: send it on.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Nope. It's mangled.
Mary: 0 people- You will be killed by Mary on the nearest possibe Sunday at mid-night and kill you
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Like I said before, Mary, that's rubbish. If you come here, it'll be the stupidest thing you've ever done next to creating bullying chain letters of course.
Mary: 5 people- You will be severely injured.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You do realize, Mary, that you are spelling your own doom, right? I never said I would be kind to you if you dare get close enough to me.
Mary: 10 people- You will see bloody Mary in your Mirror
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right, Mary, I'm not spamming 10 people just to see if I have a trick-mirror, which I'm positive I don't.
Mary: 15 people- You will be left un-harmed
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And with 15 fewer friends too, no, I'm not being an idiot and spamming 15 people, because I'm not scared of you.
Mary: 20 people- You will find alot of money on the floo
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right, and clouds are actually big sky-sheep. In case you're too dense to get it, Mary, I just called you stupid as well as a really bad liar. Not that liars are actually good, but you couldn't tell a convincing lie to save your dealife.
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