While not strictly speaking a forward-or-die hoax about some dealive kid threatening to kill you, this hoax issues threats of the loss of your kidneys, indirectly and directly. Some versions claim you can keep your friends and yourself safe by following the meme's instructions, including most importantly, sending it on to others. One mutation actually says that if you don't send it on, you will wake up in a tub of ice with a kidney missing.
All are rubbish.
Now, a mangling of a few mutations of this kidney theft balderdash meme.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: Sadly, this is very true.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Happily, it is very fake.
😈Meme2: "Reason to not party anymore"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, more like, reason to not spread chain letters any more. and that reason is: they are codswallop.
💩Meme3: Subject: FW: For your safety
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You won't stay safe by replicating chain letters.
🙃Meme4: Subject: Kidney thieves!
💩Meme3: SOMETHING U MUST READ FOR YR SAFETY
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Okay, trying to dumb this down even further to explain that: not only won't you stay safe by spreading chain letters, you also won't keep safe by reading them either!
💩🙃Memes3&4: This is
😈💩Memes2&3: a
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: true story,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong! It is a truly manipulative pile of nonsense, not a true story at all.
💩Meme3: it has been confirmed,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, confirmed to be a great big honking hoax!
💩Meme3: the
💩🙃Memes3&4: Medical Centre phone number at the end of this story is real!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: The number might be a real phone number, but not necessarily of any medical centre. It might be an out of order number that was discontinued because people kept calling it because of the hoax.
🙃Meme4: RING THE BOTTOM NUMBER IF YOU DONT BELIEVE IT!!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hoax-busters have already checked out such phone numbers, and often they turn out not to be what the chain claims. In any case, giving some phone number out in a hoax doesn't un-hoax it.
💩Meme3: A friend in Australia rang it to confirm it, as he did not believe the story to begin with either.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Scoffs* Like I'm going to take your word on some friend of yours who probably doesn't even exist.
🤥Meme1: Yes, this does happen.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It does happen that people spread "friend of a friend of a friend" chain letter tales.
🤥Meme1: My sister-in-law works with a lady that this happened to her son's neighbor who lives in Houston.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: My
💩🙃Memes3&4: friend's
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: husband is a
🤥Meme1: Houston
💩🙃Memes3&4: Sydney
🤥Meme1: Firefighter/
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: EMT and they have received alerts regarding this crime ring. It is to be taken very seriously. The daughter of a friend of a
🤥Meme1: fellow
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: firefighter had this happen to her.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, your sister-in-law's colleague's son's neighbour, who is also a Houston Sydney fellow fire-fighter and it happened to him and his daughter, wow, that REALLY gives this thing credibility… NOT!
🤥Meme1: Dear Friends:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not one of your friends, and if I was, I would be embarrassed to be associated with the dweeb or dweebs who started this hoax.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting business
🤥Meme1: travelers.
💩🙃Memes3&4: travellers.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not a business traveller, and your warning is bogus.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: This ring is well organized, well funded, has very skilled personnel, and is currently
💩🙃Memes3&4: operating
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: in most major cities
💩🙃Memes3&4: around the world
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bosh. This isn't anywhere, let alone world-wide!
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: and recently very active in
🤥Meme1: New Orleans.
💩🙃Memes3&4: Sydney.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I guess all the residents of New Sydney Orleans Houston better watch their backs then… Literally.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: Skilled doctor's are performing these crimes! (which, by the way have been highly noted in the
🤥Meme1: Las Vegas
💩🙃Memes3&4: Brisbane
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: area). Additionally, the military has received alerts regarding this.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ooooooooh, scarrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Look out, all ye citizens of Vegas Las Brisbane, too…The kidney creeper is coming - for you!
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: The crime begins when a business traveler goes to a lounge for a drink at the end of the work day. A person in the bar walks up as they sit alone and offers to buy them a drink.
The last thing the traveler remembers until they wake up in a hotel room bath tub, their body submerged to their neck in ice, is sipping that drink.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: 1. It would take a heck of a lot of effort to pack a person so deeply in ice.
2. Skilled doctors don't go bar-crawling to spike people's drinks and then leave them to freeze to death in some hotel tub of ice.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: There is a note taped to the wall instructing them not to move and to call 🤥Meme1: 911.
💩🙃Memes3&4: 000.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But a person has to move a little, even to make a call.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: A phone is on a small table next to the bathtub for them to call.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ever seen a hotel bathroom? They're as small as heck. There isn't room to put a table in them, much less install a phone jack (I'm assuming this is a land-line phone) they just don't have phones in hotel bathrooms, got it?
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: The business traveler calls
🤥Meme1: 911
💩🙃Memes3&4: 000
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: who have
🤥Meme1:become
💩🙃Memes3&4: been
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: quite familiar with this crime.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, a bogus crime. A lot of people are familiar with the story and know it is hooey. Any EMS would tell you as much.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: The business traveler is instructed by the
🤥Meme1: 911
💩🙃Memes3&4: 000
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: operator to very slowly and carefully reach behind them and feel if there is a tube protruding from their lower back.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. No 911 operator has ever had to give that instruction, and would simply keep the guy talking, on the line while dispatching EMS to the location of the emergency if there was one. But there isn't.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: The business traveler finds the tube and answers, "Yes." The
🤥Meme1: 911
💩🙃Memes3&4: 000
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: operator tells them to remain still, having already sent paramedics to help.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So this whole check for a tube thing is completely unnecessary - the paramedics would discover anything upon arrival.
And something else that really bugs me about this whole thing - if the guy is freezing to death and just coming out of some extreme effect of a drug that knocked him out, how the heck is he even going to have the wherewithal to see straight, to pick up a phone and dial a number, hold the phone with one hand and feel and fumble slowly around with his other hand in among all that ice to find a tube in his back?
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: The operator knows that both of the business traveler's kidneys have been harvested.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Which brings me to another problem with this whole ice and effects business.
If your so-called "skilled doctors" were behind this thing, why wouldn't they have the sense to pack the kidneys in ice instead of the poor sap they were after? It is the organ that needs to be packed in ice, not the diner.
And if this guy is awake enough, after a rough, invasive procedure, he's going to feel some serious pain. And because of the ice, he would be far more likely to die of hypothermia before ever coming to.
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: This guy
😈Meme2: who lived next door to Amy (my girlfriend)
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: went out
💩🙃Memes3&4: on a
😈Meme2: last
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: Saturday night
💩🙃Memes3&4: a few weeks ago
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: to a party.
😏Meme5: A girl named Karen went to a bar with her friend, Melissa one night.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: How absolutely riveting...
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: He was having a good time,
💩🙃Memes3&4: and
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: had a couple of beers and some girl seemed to like him
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Let me guess. She was either Karen or Melissa…?
😈🙃Memes2&4: and
💩Meme3: &
😈💩🙃Memes2/4: invited him to go to another party. He quickly agreed and decided to go along with her. She took him to a party in some apartment and they continued to drink, and even got involved with some
😈Meme2: other
😈💩Memes2&3: drugs
🙃Meme4: drug
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: (unknown)
😈Meme2: which).
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Stupid.
😏Meme5: Both of them had a great time there; chatting away with new people, drinking to their heart’s content, and dancing to their favorite songs.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Fascinating…
😏Meme5: While Melissa was using the bathroom, a handsome man approached her.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wait, WHAT!? Some man (I don't care if he was handsome or not) approached Melissa in the bathroom!? *Twitch* Not right!
😏Meme5: He told Karen
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? So Karen's there too? Melissa and Karen are just hang in' out with some strange dude - in the washroom???
😏Meme5: that he had just moved from Colorado and that he would like to get to know her better.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Disgusted expression* Yeah I'll just bet he would…
😏Meme5: So Karen, drunk, gave the guy her email, home address, and phone number.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Stupid. Anyway, is this all the same dude or - aw, never mind…
😏Meme5: After copying down Karen’s contact information, the man thanked her and left the bar.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Yawn*
😏Meme5: About an hour later, Karen and Melissa had decided that it was time to call it a night. As soon as Karen went to bed, she fell asleep.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What a great idea…
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: The next thing he knew, he woke up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs, but looked around to see he was alone.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And at exactly the same time...
😏Meme5: A couple hours later, Karen woke up. But she wasn’t in her bed, instead, she was in a bath tub filled with ice.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: There seems to be a lot of that not happening.
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: He looked down at his chest, which had "CALL
😈Meme2: 911
💩🙃Memes3&4: 000
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: OR
😈Meme2: YOU WILL
💩🙃Memes3&4: YOU'LL
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: DIE" written on it
😈Meme2: in
💩🙃Memes3&4: with
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: lipstick.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wait - I thought you said it was a note taped to a wall. So, it's a note written in with lipstick on his chest that's taped to a wall, got it…
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So it's a stand, and not a table?
😏Meme5: Scared, Karen saw her clothes on a table next to the tub and found her phone.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So now it's a table again, right…
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: so he picked it up and dialed. He explained to the EMS operator what the situation was and that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really calling.
😏Meme5: She called 911 and told the operator where she was.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: so how is it the guy has no idea, but Karen knows where she is, and both wake up in exactly the same predicament?
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: She advised him to get out of the tub.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hold it!
I thought you said the operator told him to feel slowly and carefully through the ice to check for a tube in his back. What's with this telling him to get out of the tub if she knows he's just had this done to him? And you did describe the EMS as "knowing" not merely suspecting what had happened.
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: He did,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Somehow, when he's in no condition to be moving about, he just gets out of the tub?
😏Meme5: The operator had asked her if there was a tube in her side.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: so Karen isn't told to get out of the tub like the guy?
😈Meme2: she asked him to look himself over in the mirror. He did,
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: and appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did,
😈Meme2: only to find
💩🙃Memes3&4: he found
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: two 9 inch slits on his lower back.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Cringe* Thank goodness that never really happens.
😏Meme5: Karen reached for her side, and surprisingly, there was a tube.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So the guy gets two huge slits and Karen gets a tube, and yet somehow the EMS knows exactly what it's all about?
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: She told him to get back in the tub immediately,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: WHAT!? The tub's full of ice, remember? This guy's just been cut open and drugged, has no doubt already lost a considerable amount of body heat and blood since he has 9-inch slits in his back, and this operator tells him to get back in the tub of ice!? Um, I don't think so!
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: and they sent a rescue team over.
😏Meme5: As soon as she told the operator, the operator said, ” Stay calm, ma’am. It appears that you’ve got your kidney stolen.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But how can that be, the operator only knows she's stuck in a tub of ice with a tube, Karen hasn't been examined yet. "Stay calm, somebody just stole your kidney." Who on earth would just stay calm after getting told that?
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of what had happened. His kidneys were stolen. They
😈Meme2: are
💩🙃Memes3&4: were
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: worth 10,000 dollars each
😈Meme2: on
💩🙃Memes3&4: in
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: the black market.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bull.
😈Meme2: (I was unaware this even existed).
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Because it doesn't exist…
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: Several guesses are in order: The second party was a sham, the people involved had to be at least medical students,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But you said it was skilled doctors.
It was neither. It was Melissa. She was mad that the business traveller took a shine to Karen instead of her, so she cut their kidneys out.
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: and it was not just
😈Meme2: recreational
💩Meme3: reacreational
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: drugs he was given.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Right, it was a special fictional drug called progesterex…
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: Regardless, he is currently in the hospital on
💩🙃Memes3&4: a
😈💩🙃Memes2, 3&4: life support, awaiting a spare kidney.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But he had two slits in his back, you said both kidneys were removed, which means he doesn't have any kidneys at all, which means if he didn't die soon, he would be awaiting two kidneys, not just one.
🤥Meme1: The incision, etc. was exact and clean.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But it wasn't just one incision, it was two great big ones in the guy, and a tube stuck in Karen. Hardly exact.
🤥Meme1: They use sterile equipment etc.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, that's sure to be real comforting for Karen and the business traveller, no problem at all, just a matter of getting their kidneys ripped out by Melissa.
🤥Meme1: and the hospital stated that other than the fact that the victim looses a kidney
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Two kidneys, remember? You said both were stolen.
🤥😈💩🙃😏Memes: there has not been any reports of other complications due to non-sterile, etc. tactics that were used.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, no, noe at all! Just a little hypothermia and dying slowly because the victim doesn't even have one functioning kidney, no complications or effects at all, just easy breezy, right…
🤥Meme1: The only "good" thing to his whole story is the fact that the people doing this horrible crime are very in tune to what complications can happen afterwards because of the details precautions they take the time to set up before leaving the room.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Even though it is Melissa behind this and she got plastered right along with Karen, so had to have known exactly what she was doing, and thinking every second of the procedure on both Karen and the guy. right…
🤥Meme1: The word from my sister-in-law is that the hospital in Las Vegas (yes, Vegas) prior to transferring him back to Houston stated that these people know exactly what they are doing.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh sure, "We know exactly what we're doing, we're planning to rip off a few kidneys tonight and rake in a ton of money from them on the black market!"
💩🙃Memes3&4: The University of Sydney in conjunction with the Royal Prince Alfred hospital is conducting tissue research to match the victim with a donor.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well they better make sure not to put Karen's kidneys in the business traveller or visa versa then, and I suppose both victims will have to be flown the Royal Prince Alfred hospital in New to Las Sydney Vagus Houston Orleans to get their kidneys back.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: This is not a scam or out of science fiction novel.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It is a pretty badly constructed hoax that has been used as plots in some movies and TV shows.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: It is real.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, real bogus hokey stuff that never actually happened.
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: It is documented and confirmable.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: To be a hoax!
🤥💩🙃Memes1, 3&4: If you travel or someone close to you travels, please be careful.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Common sense tells you that, don't need some hoax telling one to be careful.
💩🙃Memes3&4: I
🙃Meme4: REALLY
💩🙃Memes3&4: WANT AS MANY PEOPLE TO SEE THIS AS POSSIBLE
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm sure you do. It would give you a feeling of immense power knowing you just panicked a bunch of people into spreading your deliberately frightful hoax. So by all means, people should see it, getting debunked and smashed!
💩🙃Memes3&4: SO PLEASE
💩Meme3: SEND
🙃Meme4: BOUNCE
💩🙃Memes3&4: THIS TO
💩🙃Memes3&4: WHOEVER YOU CAN.
💩🙃Memes3&4: PLEASE forward this to everyone you know.
🤥Meme1: Regards
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No sending or bouncing to everyone I know or everyone i can, here.
😏Meme5: If you don’t repost this in 30 minutes,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I know, Melissa will rip my kidneys out, or maybe it'll be Karen this time. whatever, balderdash. It took me a lot longer than 30 minutes to smash this hoax in its various mutations and I'm not reposting it to unnecessarily scare anyone into spamming it further.
😏Meme5: you’ll wake up in a tub full of ice and your kidney will be stolen.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, I won't, you idiot. The kidney theft thing is just 'friend of a friend of a friend of a friend' fiction, so are Melissa and Karen, I'm not scared of them, and don't plan on travelling to some wild drunken parties at any time in the future.
Once again, the articles debunking this hoax are:
Over and out.
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