Miranda and her forces set out, fully expecting to take Santa by surprise.
They were the ones surprised at the sight of someone coming out from behind a huge snowbank.
"Who the hex is that?" Miranda demanded irritably. Since it wasn't one of hers, she naturally assumed it was an enemy.
"Who knows, probably some visitor." said one of her henchmen.
"Let's keep an eye on her just in case." said Miranda. And then she gaped as more people could be seen. They weren't close enough to be recognized as individuals, but the various shining weaponry showed them to be on the way to battle.
"Oh, I can't believe it!" Miranda whined. "Which one of you told them we were attacking tonight!?"
"Nobody!" said one henchman quickly, and "Not me!" said the other at the same time.
"YOU!" Miranda rounded on the one who said "Nobody", assuming he was the one to let it slip. "You traitor! Just wait, when I'm done with them, you'll be among their dead for betraying me!"
"I didn't - "
"Liar!"
In the meantime...
"Wha? Someone's coming." Gretel whispered to no one in particular.
"Who's there?" Diane demanded. "Show yourself - " and then as the figure came closer, Diane gaped. "Carma?"
Nutcracker stared in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
Carma came running to meet her friends. "when word got around that Santa was in real danger, all festivities were canceled, and I'm here to join you - if you want. It's better than busting a couple of heads back there anyway - sheesh, those spoiled royals were getting on my last nerve!"
Carma was a slight person, similar in size and build to NT, but she had curly black hair, a slightly darker complexion and a surprisingly low, somewhat husky voice.
"Haha! Welcome! Okay, intros again," Diane grinned, "Everybody, this is my friend, Carma Davis. We have Misters Keller and Shaw, Pippi and hers, and who are you again?"
"indy."
"Right. Whew, just try to keep everyone straight." Diane chuckled. "But at least you know Santa over there, and Jessica Claus."
"Yeah, pleased to meet you in person." Carma smiled broadly.
"Likewise, but when did Jessica get here? She's supposed to be - "
Santa's sentence was cut off by a sudden loud boom.
Everyone startled and looked around.
At first nothing could be seen.
Looking behind him, Santa became alarmed at what he saw.
Not only Jessica, but NT was also there.
"Go back, you two," he warned, "You might get hurt!"
"I'm not leaving you." Jessica said.
"At least take NT back," said Santa, "She shouldn't be - "
"I don't wanna fight, but gotta be here for my friends." NT said.
Get out of here, NT, this is no place - " Santa was cut off.
There was no time for further discussion.
An overpowering, sickly stench filled the air.
Many people, including probably the enemy who threw the orb, choked and gagged. Some people became incapacitated altogether.
"We got 'em! Now, move in for the kill!" an all too familiar, harsh female voice demanded.
"Not so fast, stupid brat!" Ameh shot her gun several times and the smell began to clear after a few moments.
"Ugh! Wouldn't you know it, the stink bombs." said Iris to Bethan.
"Yeah, the one thing we didn't dare to go near, and she uses it."
Some of the enemy began advancing toward Santa's group.
One of their orbs was thrown, and this time, it burst into a shower of what looked like spikes, until they weren't.
Indy cussed loudly as she flinched and narrowly escaped getting a spike in her eye.
She wouldn't have needed to panic, as the others were also discovering.
The spikes melted into thin air as soon as they made the slightest contact with their targets.
Miranda gaped, and soon fell to cussing. "Oh, these stupid stupid stupid freaks!" she shouted, stomping her feet. "You!" she jabbed at an enemy, "Give them yours!"
Bethan grinned to see her work on the spike orb paid off so no one got hurt.
another battle orb was deployed. It produced a river of some kind of slippery liquid that rolled over Diane's shield, which then melted away. This liquid then flowed around, turning the ground so slippery that most people had trouble keeping their footing.
That river receeded from the battle to mob the one who threw the orb.
"Tough luck, bucko." said Diane, "Payback is heck."
"Stupid orbs!" Miranda fumed. "Kill them you stupid fools!"
A nervous trooper deployed an orb. It unleashed a swirling mass of what appeared to be smoke and fire that rushed toward the allies.
Upon reaching them, it turned out to be a mass of red, yellow, blue and gray cotton candy. It's sweet smell lingered in the air a few moments before it all disappeared.
"Iris grinned at her own handywork on that orb.
"You stupid, stupid morons! Why aren't you-"
More of her troops began frantically deploying battle orbs, which always started out looking as if they would do serious damage, but ended up being comically harmless every time.
"What's the matter with these stupid things!?" Miranda shouted like an angry idiot.
Diane had to make a concerted effort not to laugh out loud. "If you only knew." she said to herself.
"Having trouble, Tompkins?" Ameh jeered.
Miranda rushed for Ameh herself. "Should've known you'd be here! You always stick your stupid nose in where it - "
"Shut it, pig!" Ameh shot at Miranda, and this time it was an actual bullet that went through Miranda's neck and knocked her off her feet.
Everyone waited breathlessly, and then, to her soldiers' glee and her enemies disappointment, Miranda slowly sat up.
"Oh well, it was worth a try." Ameh muttered bitterly.
"You stupid freak!" Miranda snapped. "It's not that easy to kill a vampire! And now you've made me REALLY mad, you stupid, ugly, stupid freak!"
"what else isn't new with you!?" ameH sneered back.
Miranda snatched a handful of orbs from her pocket and mumbled a sinister string of gibberish at them. The gray battle orbs lifted from the hands of her troops and pulsed a ghoulish rainbow of colors. All at once, they began multiplying, splitting and growing like viruses.
"Holy crap, is she made of these things?" Indy muttered.
"Oh, here come the meme orbs," Iris said, time to start administrating the antidote." She threw a small collection of orbs in response.
"Now KILL THEM!" Miranda roared.
The frail sense of order that had previously permeated the battle shattered as the orbs, seemingly of their own volition, descended malevolently on the allies. They deployed in huge clumps, and no matter the efforts of Diane to neutralize them, there always seemed to be more orbs than one could count hovering in the air, taking the place of any that were destroyed.
Nutcracker stabbed and shot at as many orbs as he could, causing them to collect at his feet like a pile of fallen fruit.
"Dear God, where is she?" Pippi breathed, looking around.
"Where's who?" Ameh asked.
"Never mind."
NT was forced to stay on the outskirts while she made her way toward Miranda to confront her, up close and personal.
The meme orbs were not the killers Miranda had wanted them to be. But as they replicated, they could serve as a distraction to help her move in and kill as many of Santa's forces as she wanted. Or, so she thought.
"Look out! Carma cried,warning others of another wave of orbs, and deflecting those that came her way.
Nutcracker made short work of any he could reach, stabbing, stomping, squashing them. He was faced with a terrible decision when a henchman shot a bullet through his shoulder at close range. He whirled around and knocked the gun out of the enemy's hands and then ran him through with a dagger.
That enemy crumpled to the ground, groaning.
Nutcracker paled, but there was no time to acknowledge the sick feeling that welled up inside him. The battle kept raging on, and it was either do what you had to live another day, or die.
Pippi could only dodge andkick or bat away orbs that came at her or friends who were near. Several orbs she managed to destroy by stamping them to shattered bits.
Keller and Shaw had been separated by a swarm of the meme orbs.
Suddenly, the orbs inexplicably started going haywire. Another swarm descended on the scene, but instead of attacking the participants in the battle and exploding, they attacked other orbs. They shot and rolled at and over people to get at the other orbs, and where they made contact, the other orbs shrank away into nothing. This went on, the seemingly cannibalistic orbs devouring the battle orbs at an alarming pace. It looked bizarre to anyone who could afford to take a moment and observe.
"Whew, it's about time this kicked in." Iris said to Diane, looking pleased.
"Time what kicked in?"
"My cannibal orbs. I was just waiting for the meme orb to be deployed to use this one on them."
"What the hex?" Miranda squealed at the spectacle. "Those stupid orbs! They're not supposed to do that - URF!" She was suddenly knocked to the ground by a violent push.
When she got to her feet again, she turned to see who it was.
"What the - N?"
"What the - what the - you stupid - stupid - " NT mocked her. "I see your vocabulary has been stunted along with your brain!"
Miranda got pushed again.
"NT, get out of there!" Pippi shouted.
"Cannibal orbs?" Diane asked.
"Yeah. The meme orbs are specialized to reproduce themselves like crazy when deployed, so I took the two I found at her base and tweaked them to do the opposite." It took forever to make a dent in the number, but now my two have infected more and more of her meme orbs with cannibalism, all this orb show should eat itself out eventually."
"Slick, Iris, real slick." said Diane with a bemused grin.
"I never would've thought it of you, N!" Miranda snarled and got to her feet again. "You in a battle! and of course you'd mess about with the orbs!
"I never touched your precious orbs! And that's NT to you!" the irate fairy hissed back.
"Whatever! you actually had the nerve to show up here!" Miranda shouted in disbelief.
"I told you I hate you!" Nt scowled at her.
"But I didn't think you actually would go to war!" Miranda shrilled.
"You just don't think!"
"So what are you hoping to be queen of the world, leading this battle against me?" Miranda ranted.
"Oh you are such a nimrod, Miranda! I'm not leading this battle, and it's you who want to be queen of everything, not me!"
The battle raged on,, the orb count kept dwindling drastically but injuries were continuing to be inflicted by other means.
Miranda fell back to her favourite tactic against NT, the personal attack. "You've put on a few pounds since I last saw you."
NT rolled her eyes at Miranda and aimed a well-placed come-back. "Hardly surprising, you dumb food-cop, since you left, I could finally get an appetite!"
Miranda glowered, insulted. "What's that supposed to mean!"
Figure it out, if you're so smart! I could lose weight, Miranda, but *YOU* can't lose ugly!"
The two began a physical battle, NT had the upper hand at first since Miranda had no inkling she could even fight seriously.
NT got in a few hair-yanks, punches to Miranda's face and stomach while saying only one more thing, "Meaning this: you make me SICK!" Then she went for Miranda's neck and went through the motion of trying to strangle her. She knew this wouldn't do Miranda any real harm, and much as she hated her, NT just couldn't bring herself to inflict any real injury.
But this token effort was enough to get the message across.
Miranda's eyes went wide at this, but she soon pried NT's hands loose, and then pushed her violently to the ground.
NT lay there, dazed.
"Hah!" Miranda crowed. "Now while they're all getting killed, I'll make a meal out of you!" she leered down at NT.
Glancing back at the battle scene revealed to Miranda that all was not going well with her battle orbs. They had all but vanished, and dead or wounded people among her forces littered the ground while others continued fighting on.
"What the hex!?" Miranda shouted.
Then, she was suddenly downed in a hail of bullets, and the shooter continued shooting until Miranda's body was riddled with holes and covered with blood.
Then the gun was tossed aside.
"No!" Miranda wailed. "This can't be happening!"
"You should've known better than try to take me on, Miranda!" Someone snarled, kneeling on Miranda
The figure took out a knife and slashed Miranda in the throat before finally standing up and moving off, picking up the gun again with bloody hands. "Sorry you messed about with all those orbs yet?" The knife disappeared.
Miranda gaped, but slowly knitted herself back together and sat up. "No! Because this isn't over yet! There's more where that came from, Brett!"
"Oh, like your little stash back at the base?" Diane taunted, coming forward to confront Miranda next.
"Wha!? You didn't!"
Diane aimed her gun. "Move a muscle, Miranda, and you'll get more of this!"
An enemy soldier picked up an orb and threw it at Diane.
But it was only one of the orb-eaters, it had just finished consuming an orb and was now dying, melting away into nothing.
NT finally got slowly to her feet, and nodded at Cosima and Diane before moving off.
The Sugarplum Fairy continued confronting Miranda. "I found your stash, - including the one meant for Santa, the one you used for producing that drug you almost nailed Cosima Brett with, the one you meant for NT, your wishing orb," she took that one out of a pocket and smashed it on the ground.
"NOOOOO!" Miranda wailed.
"You lost that one when you were running from those scary entities back at your base. Yeah, that was my doing."
"You're a monster!" Miranda shouted helplessly.
"Sugarplum Fairy, actually." Diane corrected her.
Miranda gawked in disbelief.
Diane only continued. "The master orb you use in orb production and management, and the one you used to bend people's minds and bodies to do your bidding!" She produced that one to show to everyone else there, then smashed it before Miranda could do anything about it.
Miranda let out a very undignified howl of rage.
Now, there came a change among Miranda's fighters.
Some turned and ran, others stared before beginning to express themselves. They could be heard uttering sounds of bewilderment and disbelief, and as they became disenchanted at the breaking of the enslavement orb, they also became very contemptuous of Miranda. They could be heard jeering, and saying things like "What was I thinking, letting her use me like this!?" and other similar things.
"I'll KILL YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE!" Miranda screamed, and lunged for Diane.
The Sugarplum Fairy's expression turned especially threatening, "And THIS ONE!" She produced a glowing pulsing blood red orb from a jacket pocket and raised it high in the air to show the crowd.
Miranda had looked simply angry and hateful up until this point. Now, to everyone's puzzlement, she became absolutely petrified. "no!" she wailed. She lunged for the Sugarplum Fairy, but found that an invisible force field seemed to be preventing her from making contact.
The reason for Miranda's desperation became clear with Diane's explanation.
"the orb you had for the purpose of - *destroying* *other* *vampires!*"
"No!" Miranda shrilled. "Don't do it! I lost control! I didn't mean to do it, I just got caught up in it all! But you're better than that! You can't kill me! It's not in you to -"
"DIE, MIRANDA!" The Sugarplum Fairy shouted as she activated the vampire-termination orb.
Miranda screamed as the orb began the process. First, it lit up like a miniature sun. Then, a stake came out of it and grew from miniature to regular size, and rammed itself through Miranda's chest. Then what followed was every gory scenario of vampire destruction imaginable, all happening in quick succession so that onlookers barely had time to register one thing before the other was already going on. From her head severing to combusting, all methods were programmed into that orb. It had been meant to kill any competition, any type of vampire.
Finally, Diane warned everyone to stand back while she gave what was left of Miranda the things she would've done to NT and Santa.
She moved far enough away to safely do what she needed to do next without getting injured.
The Sugarplum Fairy took out those orbs from her pocket and threw them among the vampire destruction in progress, setting off a spectacular firework display. Then she proceeded with particular savagery to smash every other orb in the collection until they and all the evil magic were gone.
The initial eruption caused several people to shriek and retreat, but they didn't leave the scene altogether. Everyone was concerned about their friends, and determined to see this thing to the end.
the firework turned multicoloured and changed shape, growing larger all the time.
Eventually, it could be seen for a giant version of Miranda that hung in the air, lighting up the sky like Burning Man.
This changed shape again as lines and curves which formed letters and eventually words, replaced Miranda from the shoulders down.
Finally, the firework could be read as a message before it went out.
-- I, Miranda tompkins/Harlan, die as I lived, in a spectacular display of selfishness, hubris and stupidity!
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