AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
This "Buy American This Holiday Season" meme was posted on the Ironton Tribune, and the Wadsworth Post, but it started going around before then. One forum showed it was reposted Nov. 4, 2011. Sheesh, Halloween barely over and the freaking memes walloping Christmas start!
Sure, there are great things about buying locally and supporting local businesses, but why not do that year round, instead of trying to drag Christmas down to this level and doing it with a meme no less? So the idea of supporting local business is fine, but the execution of it in this case, stinks.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Buy American this Holiday season
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Don't tell me what to buy. I'll buy whatever's most convenient, good quality, and reasonably priced.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Christmas 2011
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And then Christmas 20xx on and on, every year into infinity, this meme will circulate, changing the number of the year in the latest up-to-date mutation… But it does go back as far as 2011 for sure.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: -- Birth of a New Tradition
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hold on to that thought, when this chain is still going around claiming to birth the "new tradition" in 2090, the very same one birthed back in 2011!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods -- merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, like, OMGZOMGZOMGZOMGZ Like, how TOTALLY DREADFUL! How dare those big Asian factories export their stuff so their countries can make it in the world! No matter that their own workers are likely being overworked and underpaid to produce all this stuff, who gives a flying hot jingle about that!? Oh, NOOOOOO! They're like - THIEVING the life right out of america and stealing all of America's own profit, which was somehow bestowed on America alone by who knows what divine right! Never mind that workers in Asia are suffering trying to make ends meet, the REAL suffering is the Americans! *Insert mega fanatic tone of voice here* it - MUSt -BE - STOPPED!
A few years later, somebody shared a meme repost about the horrible working conditions in Asian factories, again at Christmas time, in some guilt-ridden piece about how they are dying over there so we can have our Christmas lights. So I hate to have to bring this point up. But I sure as heck didn't appreciate that re-share either.
I can't make anyone buy locally. I can't make Asian countries improve working conditions in their factories.
So what do you Christmas-killjoys with your stupid guilt-tripping memes want me to do, sit around and moping about everybody you want me feeling terrible about, going without my Christmas lights or asking for anything or giving anything of any meaning to people I care about because I actually know them in real life? The people who aren't just your projected mental images of guilt and suffering in a meme, but real live people I can actually relate to and who it means something to whenever I do give anything to them.
Right. You want me to try and save the world with memes.
That's absurd, and not going to happen.
Look, nobody's made it absolutely mandatory to buy Asian products, if you don't want to, then don't, but keep your stupid memes to yourself, and stop playing up the "Foreign countries are stealing away all of America's dreams!" especially at Christmas to whip people into a forwarding frenzy!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: This year will be different.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, sure, with the addition of yet another freaking meme that misuses Christmas as a means to get people thinking they must improve it by buying American and most importantly, spread that forward! GAH! No different at all, pal!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Excuse me? As if Americans haven't been doing that all year round and every Christmas in the past!? And as if it's such a hot thing to give genuine concern only to other americans? You fail!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so to heck with personal preference, everybody's supposed to buy that american-made car even though they much prefer that more affordable, more comfortable one made by an overseas company that's been around for ages and has put out reliable cars that should they fail it's no problem getting new parts for? Oh, no, forget all that. Comfort doesn't matter. The look doesn't matter. All that matters is that it is AMERICAN!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Oh.... Yes there is!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Not if you have a product preference that doesn't happen to be American-made!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: It is time to think outside the box, people.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, you sure haven't been doing a good job of that yourself…
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What the heck!? OMG, you are REALLY out of control! You're so stuck on this agenda that you actually give a flying hot dart what wrapping paper people use!? My gosh, you have issues!
As for me, I'll continue getting whatever wrapping paper is on sale, is most appropriate for the person and the gift, even if you don't think personal preference matters one iota, just as long as every blasted thing is AMERICAN-MADE! What if I want paper with rainbows and hearts on it, and the only thing coming close is from China? I'm not even going to look to see where it's made, and if the only American-made stuff has pictures of cars and trucks on it, I'm not going to buy it and wrap a gift in that instead, not if I know full well the person getting the gift absolutely loves pretty wrapping paper with rainbows and hearts.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local American hair salon or barber?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, wow, what a thriller of a gift *that* would be! Not. I mean, sure, for someone who really does love to pamper their hair, maybe, but it would only cover the one time. That's a lot of money spent on something that grows out all too quickly. It's one of the reasons I wouldn't even want such a gift. I'd rather pay for it myself, getting my hair done is an unavoidable expense, a necessity for me, not a luxury. I can't cut it myself.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Gym membership? It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What - are you kidding me!? BLECK! I'd be insulted if you gave me *THAT* not to mention disappointed. You might as well give me coal! So i'm not going to give something so gauche to the next person unless they expressly say they'd want it as a gift and had it on their wish list!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Car washes for Christmas? Meh. Some of us don't even drive. In your zeal to get everybody buying ONLY AMERICAN, you have lost any semblance of the true meaning of Christmas!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down the Benjamins on a Chinese-made flat-screen TV?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Man, you've REALLY got this thing against the Chinese. Get over it already!
Oh, and, no, I do not go buying TVs for everybody! I do not spend money the way characters in TV commercials do when advertising holiday specials on pricy items at Walmart, for instance.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: alright, no TV for him, because you'd rather shovel his walk during winter, and go golfing with him during the summer, and just maybe he doesn't even like golf. Maybe he lives in an apartment and doesn't have a driveway or a lawn. But you would deny him the pleasure of a TV just because you hate the Chinese…
⛓🇺🇸Meme: There are a gazillion owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Personal preference still comes into play. Supposing your friend likes Chinese food, what are you going to do then? Take her to an American food only restaurant that she doesn't even like?
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains --
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's a laugh, since this is one big nationalistic chain! Oh, you meant the other kind of chain, well…
⛓🇺🇸Meme: this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, fine, but Christmas is not the time to be worrying about that, you can support your locals all year round if you feel that strongly about it. Buy stuff for yourself from the local american businesses for Christmas if you want to, but you still have to take other people into consideration when you get them Christmas gifts.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'll name one - me. I don't drive. And, dude, chick, whatever you are, an oil change, for Christmas? Yeah, a gift best given to yourself only… Oh, man, you suck.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Only one day, and it costs a lot, and again, is a necessity, not a luxury for at least some people. And you don't know some of the people I know who have had cleaning ladies in and were dissatisfied with their work… Heart-felt? Not quite, doofus. A house cleaning, for Christmas… Yeah, bet your idea of a great time is watching paint dry, and only if it's american!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Computer repairs - for Christmas… Again, a necessity, not a gift, and there's no telling if the repair/tune-up would actually fix what's wrong with the computer.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So what? If you're into any of that, fine, but not everybody is. What use would I have for pottery, wooden box? Really? Jewelry - meh, big personal preference issue there. I happen to like very few items of jewelry, and my favourites are these bracelets which are beadwork, and I'm pretty sure they are not American-made. So you can start wringing your hands and wailing over that any time. Scarves - well, nice idea, and I do like them, but I always forget to put them on, I just grab my jacket, throw it on and run out the door.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I only leave nice tips if the service and the food is nice, and I'll go out and eat at places that appeal to me…Period… I'm not going to go to a place that has nothing appealing on the menu, even if it is a totally locally owned and operated establishment…
⛓🇺🇸Meme: And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theatre.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: of course, I do that every second year when the classes I play for put on their year-end demos!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Meh, i'm not just going to go out to any old band just because it's local. Personal preference comes in once again, and if I was given a choice between Cirque Du Soleil and some local grunge band, I'm going with Cirque.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Honestly people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese lights for the house?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Honestly, do you have to suck out loud this freaking much? There you go with this Chinese stuff again. I don't even know, let alone care if my freaking lights are Chinese or not, as long as they dang well work, okay!? Deal!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: When you buy a five dollar string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community. If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, yeah, that's sure to light up my house good! Not! I'll get whatever lights are convenient, good quality and reasonably priced, in the amount I require, american or Chinese, it doesn't matter! So don't give me any of this yada yada about Chinese Christmas lights either. I think I went into that somewhere in the above.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, you blithering fool, Christmas was NEVER about "draining american pockets for China's glittering cities" Christmas is about celebrating Jesus Christ's birth, and making the world a nicer place, even if only for a little while. Your meme makes it impossible for me to do that for you. Had you not started this meme, you wouldn't have caused me to feel so grinchy, but it's either mangle this meme or explode.) Where was I? Oh, yeah… At Christmas, gift-giving should be with real feelings of love, joy, friendship etc, and without ulterior motives such as your twisted version of patriotism, your Chinaphobic agenda!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Christmas is now about caring about US (We the People) ,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* 'Only us Americans, we the people, we the people, we the people' blah blah blah… Save that for July 4. Christmas is not just for Americans.
Christmas is about celebrating Christ's birth, and caring about other people, American or not, is part of that.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So do that on July 4th if you want to make a blooming celebration out of supporting your American local small businesses, but for goodness sake, try even a little to take people's preferences into consideration when giving Christmas gifts. You can always treat yourself to your own christmas gifts and support any number of your local American small businesses around Christmas if you like, nobody's stopping you. Oh, and do try not to look too crushed if some well-meaning but apparently unaware or unthinking person happens to give you a Christmas gift that has any *gasp* association with China.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we could not imagine.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And caring about other people who aren't Americans means we care less about our communities and that caring doesn't come back to benefit us somehow? Please.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: THIS is the new American Christmas tradition!!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You can take it and move it either to July 4th or the American Thanksgiving. It has no place in Christmas.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: Forward this to everyone on your mailing list -- post it to discussion groups.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No forwarding, and the only reason it's reposted is because it got me seriously irritated, enough to mangle it!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: -- throw up a post on Craig's List in the Rants and Raves section in your city.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brother, if everybody did that, Craigslist would be inundated with - oh, but that's your idea all along. Fooey! You stink!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: -- send it to the editor of your local paper and radio stations, and TV news departments.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What - the - - have you gone completely off your chump? Do you think I'd do something so stupid and gauche!? I shudder to think how many forwarding zombies actually WILL take it that far! What an embarrassment, and of course, the rotting mainstream media would have a huge lulz-fest over it.
⛓🇺🇸Meme: This is a revolution of caring about each other, and isn't that what Christmas is about?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Christmas is not a revolution, and your caring is only extended to Americans, and that's not what Christmas is about… Christmas didn't even get started in America!
⛓🇺🇸Meme: As we forward this email let's share information about where to find quality U.S. made items:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Nothing doing. You're on your own. Start an Americans For Americans revolution of American Caring in this fashion if you like, but do it on a real American holiday like July 4th or the American Thanksgiving.
Christ was not born in the USA.
Now, for the love of all things good, especially Christmas, SHUT -UP!
Over - and - out!
--