The Frogman wrote a crummy anti-chain in response to the Argentina "Holy Picture" hoax. As if that isn't lame enough, it makes up junk about God, and that is really not cool. It also gets revolting in one place.
So I'm going to replace God with the Frogman, and mangle this anti-chain.
🐸Frogman's chain: This is a rare image of Tickles, the eternal kitten of The Frogman. This holy feline never ages and always remains in kitten state. He was given to The Frogman by Super Frogman as a thank you gift for dying and stuff. Those who look upon Tickles will be immediately gobsmacked by his brilliant furry aura and entranced by his adorable nature.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahaha! Yeah right. Anyway, of course he never ages - in a picture. No one does. That would be a bit weird to have pictures that were taken of people 20 years ago, looking their actual age as they aged. So that would mean baby pictures of my nephews taken when they were just infants or toddlers would show them in their teens and 20s also. But they look like babies in these early pictures. This is why the Tickles picture is anything but amazing. Take a picture of a kitten and of course the image is going to remain that way even after the kitten grows into a cat. So much for magic.
🐸Frogman's Chain: The Supreme Leader of North Korea was sent this image of Tickles and refused to forward it to his friends and family. 8 days later he ended up with a lesbian haircut and a strong desire to drink urine from a wine glass.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: EWWWWWWW! Why do so many people think they have to be disgusting to be funny? I'm not laughing. *Gag* and what the heck is a lesbian haircut? This is exactly why so many reactions to stupid memes suck.
🐸Frogman's chain: Another man was emailed Tickles and immediately posted it to his Twitter, Facebook, and even Google+. That weekend he won a church raffle that included a cheese of the month membership, a luxurious handmade quilt, and $50 in free bingo.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So, you are contemptuous of people who go to church, throwing a few stereotypical activities in there, then call them cheesy. Frogman, you really stink. It is you who are the cheese.
🐸Frogman's chain: A man named Ralph Simmons received Tickles from his Aunt Myrtle. He attempted to print out 20 copies to pass around the office, but he was having network connectivity problems. He called Rick, the IT guy, but Rick said he couldn’t look at it until Monday because some old coot on the 3rd floor downloaded 17 toolbars for Internet Explorer and could no longer look at web pages.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh? He's sure it wasn't a hacker?
🐸Frogman's Chain: The next day Ralph’s Aunt Myrtle was decapitated by a bear and his pet ferret died in a reclining chair accident.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Man, you sure have a thing for animals and humans killing each other.
🐸Frogman's chain: The Frogman’s wrath does not excuse poorly networked printing devices.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Or anything else, no doubt. Well, I don't excuse the Frogman either, so, we're even.
🐸Frogman's chain: The Tickles chain letter dates back to the 14th century.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Snickers* Right. Here that everybody? The Frogman invented the internet, had a kitten, and started this chain letter back in the 1400's!
🐸Frogman's chain: The Frogman sent his delivery angels to give the Holy Scroll of Tickles to a brave knight named Sir Nigel of Wellington. Sir Nigel was weary from his battles and angry at the Frogman above. He broke the wax seal on the parchment and saw the image of Tickles. He scoffed at picture and cursed the heavens… refusing to show anyone else this Frogly kitten.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, and Frogman's internet also produces parchment, hokus-pokus style! Lol!
🐸Frogman's chain: Soon after, his favorite horse was overcome with amoebic dysentery. Everywhere Sir Nigel rode, the horse would excrete a stream of crazy diarrhea.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Again with the yuckage. Why do males never seem to outgrow poop obsessions?
🐸Frogman's chain: Sir Nigel became the laughing stock of the village. They called him Sir Nigel of Flatulent Equines. In those days, that was a pretty serious burn.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Serious stink too, I'll bet. But that's how you like it. *flat expression*
🐸Frogman's chain: Seeing the error of his ways, he went to the highest mound in the village and fell to his knees, begging for The Frogman’s forgiveness.
Showing great mercy, the Frogman forgave him and cured his horse. Nigel then promised to show the image of Tickles to the whole of Britain. And since that time, the chain of Tickles has never been broken.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It has now.
🐸Frogman's chain: To all of those reading this post, The Frogman WANTED ME TO TELL YOU that all will be dandy in the coming year. Your sperm will be potent* and you will have many babies.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? How does that work? Either this is addressed to hermaphrodites, or it's just another encouragement of guys screwing and girls suffering labor and a bunch of unplanned, probably unwanted kids entering the world, all because the guys wanted to prove their "manhood" Blech.
Even without God getting dragged into it, this anti-chain reeks.
🐸Frogman's chain: Your work will pay you vast sums of money and encourage you to spend extra time farting around on the internet.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, bum-obsess much?
🐸Frogman's chain: He asks only one thing in return.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, I know, spread the meme!
🐸Frogman's chain: Send this blog post of Tickles to 20 people.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I knew that was coming.
🐸Frogman's chain: OR ELSE.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Heh, right, and I didn't even copy the stupid kitten picture, so there. Mangled!
Mocking God's name as Frogman originally did, cringe-inducing "humor* that is just gross, and unable to write much without throwing gay/lesbian/something sexual in it somewhere - and this was already a ridiculous anti-chain to start with. Whatever's wrong with a good deal of reactions to memes on the net, Frogman's anti-chain has right here in spades.
That stupid "holy picture" hoax also gets a proper mangling from yours truly, here.
OVER - AND - OUT!