This cringy letter describing an actual date, went meme in June 2002.
😚Jacqueline Kim: The update
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, yay...
😚Jacqueline Kim: Well...Mr. Casey O'Brien showed up at my door at about 8:15ish. Sporting a pair of cute jeans, a button up and a black jacket. For his outfit I would give him about a B. As for looks, he was cute but on the shorter side and his hair was a little too long. Far from a mullet but longer than I would prefer but let's not dwell on that because he can kinda get away with it. So for looks, I would probably give him another B. Car- BMW, like I stated before. A great car, he'll have to get and A for that. He gets and A+ for his manners and politeness. Marcie, he opened the car door everytime! Super polite. Overall general appearance will cap at a B+.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Rating people is ghastly tacky and stupid.
So first in your priorities is looks, second, car, third, manners, shallow twit, I'm glad you don't know me.
😚Jacqueline Kim: AS for the place we went to, another "A". The Tasting Room is an excellent date place. I was never the wine connoisseur but I'm gradually thinking I could become one. We had 4 glasses each of different white wines and a cheese flight, which was the perfect food mecca to go with the wine. Place is awesome, I recommend all of you guys to attend this place for a night out with your man/woman. We also headed over to this place called the Black Duck. Another great place! The date place itself gets an overall "A".
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bleh. Not into the whine and cheese thing.
😚Jacqueline Kim: By the way Girls- this summer we must hang out on Randolph, so many awesome places!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hmm, if you say so... I have no idea where that is or what you're talking about.
😚Jacqueline Kim: I can go into great detail of what we talked about and such but, that would make for an extremely long email.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And might or might not be boring as all heck, too, but still better than your stupid screwed up shallow priorities.
😚Jacqueline Kim: The date ended with me getting intoxicated but not like crazy intoxicated, but I was drunk. No hangovers. I'm assuming he was fairly intoxicated but since he was driving, I didn't want to know, so I never asked.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Stupid...
😚Jacqueline Kim: By the way, as for myself, I get an overall A+ for how damn cute I looked. I sported a pair of fun longer Capri pants from Guess in a darker khaki color with my white shirt from Hanger 18, that has my lower back showing with my new cute fitted black jacket with empire sleeves from Armani. I was a BABE. He didn't stand a chance. My worries of not being cute were so swept under the rug with the outfit I pulled off last night.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: If you think you have to put on a supposedly "cute" air to get a date, you've got the wrong idea. And if you were hoping for something more intimate on that first date, I got a word for that - skank. And that applies to him as well if he was hoping for more...
😚Jacqueline Kim: Before jumping to any conclusions, YES, I stayed the night, only because I semi passed out on his couch and he was polite to ask if I wanted to head home and I just said he could take me home in the morning, NOTHING happened. Honestly only a kiss derived from this date and it didn't even happen at his place. I believe it might have been executed at the Black Duck but I'm not so sure on the exact time and location.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: But of course, you were sozzled...
😚Jacqueline Kim: But can I add, GREAT kisser. The date kiss gets an "A". Really, I haven't had that great of a kiss since, well we won't go there but it has been a long time. I might have to go with the fact that I might have mastered the skill of French kissing, no joke. As long as I have potential to work with, I can execute a pretty intense kiss.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Urgh, eww, that was way more than I ever wanted to know!
😚Jacqueline Kim: Lauren- you would have loved Casey's attitude. Actually I think all of would have appreciated how he called me out on my stupid logic of thinking. Somehow, it came up on how random it was for us to meet and cr@p and
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: "and cr@p blah blah and cr@p and blah blah blah blah and cr @p and yada yada blah blah and cr@p and this and cr@p and that and cr@p and everything and cr@p and --- " The next person who does the "and cr@p" is going to get another hole in their head!
😚Jacqueline Kim: how when he said the very first time we talked for me to give him a call and my response was, "Really, I'll let you know now, I won't call you, so I suggest you write my number down and give me a call". Hence the wait of a week or so for his first initial call was due to my shallowness or whatever you would like to call my way of playing the field. Doesn't really matter, he still called and I didn't.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I figured out from the first paragraph that you were probably that type, expecting the man to initiate everything. *Rolling eyes* So you know you are shallow. Good. What are you going to do about it?
😚Jacqueline Kim: So, question is, where do I stand on the whole outlook of Mr. Casey O'Brien and the date...The car, the money, the job, the cute apartment, the boat-which by the way only seats 6 people, so I really don't consider that really amazing,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Good gosh, girl, most guys don't even have a boat, and if all the bling and money and cute/hotness is all you care about, you deserve to go nowhere.
😚Jacqueline Kim: his mannerism and his great kiss will probably lock in another date but...I can tell you now unless he cuts his hair and sends me gifts, it won't lead me to seek anything more than my 1st 30 year old FRIEND (Oh by the way, I think he's only 29, but still, I'm rounding up). Plus, the summer is just around the corner and guys are EVERYWHERE, I need to keep the options open and my schedule free to lock in some other great summer flings...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh!
Excuse me. I'm torn between cringing and wanting to punch something... This is disgusting!
It's scary to think people like this actually exist beyond the age of 17.
😚Jacqueline Kim: Well, I hope you've enjoyed the day in the life of Miss Jackie Kim and please feel free to comment on my date, my outfit, the kiss, or whatever else. If you need any more major details of the date please contact me in one of the following ways: phone, email, personal visit or text messaging.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Already commented. You get no personal messages from me.
Fail.
😚Jacqueline Kim: Oh, I might be heading to a Cubs game with him next week. We'll see.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Fortunately it never went beyond another date.
😚Jacqueline Kim: Oh by the way ladies- His cute friend Brian, is single and also a day trader.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So what? You said nothing about personality.
😚Jacqueline Kim: Which by the way, being a day trader is pretty money, literally in a sense but he gets to throw on lounge wear for work and is home no later than Noon. Are you kidding me? Where was being a day trader on career day in Elementary school?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So you're a gold-digger. Buh-bye...
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