The Girl creepy pasta was Posted on March 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM.
This turned out to be a far different mangle than I was anticipating having to write. The result is a combination mangling and story, some in script form, some in narrated form, the latter wrapping it all up.
And I'm not alone in this effort. Characters have joined in as well, and they ended up in for a lot worse than anyone was expecting.
Beware, very high yuck factor later on.
CP: This is the story of a girl.
Ocean Elf: It's more like an instruction manual on how to court a moon witch.
CP: She is no ordinary female, however. She is, at first glance, the most beautiful and attractive girl you will have ever met in your life.
Ocean Elf: In other words, a uber Mary Sue!
CP: She has every trait a man could want.
Ocean Elf: *Wince* Besides the fact that every man doesn't want the same thing, you better be speaking for yourself only, because no one person can be a be-all and end-all to another person. Nobody's perfect, and this includes dweebs like you who go on about the supposed 'perfect girl'.
CP: She has a magnificent body,
Ocean Elf: Which is tops on your list, of course... *Scowl*
CP: a wonderful personality,
Ocean Elf: Oh really? Just how 'wonderful'? In what way? Talk about generic descriptors. But when looks are the most important to you, well, I can't really expect much.
CP: an unbeatable sense of humor,
Ocean Elf: That all depends on your idea of humour. In my opinion, her humour may absolutely suck, and she might even prove that as this "story" goes on.
CP: a kind heart,
Ocean Elf: Hah! Har, har, har! *Cough* Not!
CP: and she is extremely intelligent.
Ocean Elf: No, just manipulative.
CP: There is but one way to make this girl yours,
Ocean Elf: Eww! No! *Nasty face*
CP: and you must follow these instructions exactly.
Ocean Elf: What is she, a side dish or something?
CP: It may seem a simple task,
Ocean Elf: As simple as getting the broomstick from the Wicked Witch of the West. *Snicker*
CP: but it is far more treacherous than any tall, anorexic man with a complexion condition you may ever come to face in the woods
Ocean Elf: Bwahahaha! Slender Man didn't scare me with that, so what makes you think you/she will?
CP: or any pale faced, 17 year old Joker fanatic you could ever have the privilege of seeing at the foot of your bed.
Ocean Elf: Oh, Jeff The Killer also got upstaged. :p
CP: No this girl is much different.
Ocean Elf: Except that she's such a cliche Mary Sue.
CP: There are 8 steps you must follow precisely to make this girl yours,
Ocean Elf: Bleh. I don't want to make her mine, at least, not in the sense you mean. And, eight steps? Really? Sounds a heck of a lot like the Slender eight pages game to me.
CP: so precisely in fact that I would advise you to take this with you when attempting the trial.
Ocean Elf: Who says I'm attempting anything? This girl might just find out she doesn't like my idea of a trial. *Wicked grin*
CP: 1. Make sure its her. You don’t want to be performing some mystical trials you found on the internet to some random chick you thought was hot.
Ocean Elf: Eww! I'm a girl, you jerk, so I don't think any chick is hot! And I don't go in for the mystical stuff, especially not some silly ritual from a creepy pasta.
CP: She often roams outside flower shops, jewelry stores, and beauty salons,
Ocean Elf: Which is where you'll never catch me unless I just happen to be out shopping with someone else who's into that kind of stuff. I hang around far more interesting shops.
CP: mocking those earthly and mortal possessions that will never be as valuable or fair as she.
Ocean Elf: Sounds like she's just mad that some guy didn't buy her enough bling. She wouldn't be trying for "Snow White, Part 2, Wicked Queen's Daughter" would she?
CP: This girl will appear as I stated before.
Ocean Elf: You didn't say anything except you thought she had a "magnificent body" and that's nothing. What's her hair and eye color? Is she white, black, Asian,what?
CP: She changes with every man (or woman). To whomever she meets,
Ocean Elf: So how is anybody supposed to know who she is if she changes, I'm assuming appearance, with everyone?
I've got characters who can do that, too. So maybe one of them can beat her at her own game.
CP: she will be the most attractive person that individual could ever dream of.
Ocean Elf: So now she's a uber shapeshifting Mary Sue with an insatiable desire for bling, and who also wants to be everybody's eye-candy. So much for "wonderful personality" and I'm sure her sense of humour really stinks.
CP: Upon approaching said woman, even her age will change to match the exact date, hour, and second of your own.
Ocean Elf: So she shape shifts to make herself look older or younger, fine. But if she doesn't know my birth date, she's not going to be able to match me in age. She could tell me she was born in this or that year, and I'd just say "Liar."
CP: Aphrodite herself wields no chance of competition.
Ocean Elf: Well, that's not saying much, since Aphrodite doesn't exist either. *Snicker*
CP: She will be wearing, regardless of the season, a light blue loose long sleeve shirt. She will have on black skinny jeans. The clothing does not have a brand. She is wearing two diamond earrings and a bracelet with several colored, pearl cubes on the loop. Every cube is a different color.
Ocean Elf: Now we're getting somewhere. Light blue, long-sleeved shirt, black tight jeans, diamond ear rings, cube pearl bracelet with different colors. Gotcha.
Seems to me she's already got enough bling. So why is she wandering around fashion and jewelry places to mock the very things she owns and shows off? Hypocrite.
CP: 2. Approach her confidently.
Ocean Elf: Well, I'm not interested in approaching her at all, but if I did, I wouldn't be cowering on bended knee…
CP: This is crucial,
Ocean Elf: No, it isn't.
CP: and I don’t mean that as in YOU’LL FRICKIN DIE IF YOU DON’T,
Ocean Elf: ROTFLOL! I was just about to say… No really, carry on, let's see if you can manage to make me laugh again.
CP: but she may wave you off.
Ocean Elf: That's just fine. I don't want attention from the brat anyway. It's me who'd wave her off first.
CP: All women like a confident man,
Ocean Elf: No, that's a lie. I know of some women who prefer their men to be doormats for them.
CP: especially the perfect one.
Ocean Elf: Urgh! There is no such thing as "the perfect man" or "the perfect woman" no matter what Edward Cullen and Bella Swan/Cullen of Twilight vampy infamy say.
CP: When you get to her, provided that you look confident (not d****e bag confident
Ocean Elf: Ahem, watch that language! *Scowl*
CP: but enough), she will simply look at you and await your first words.
Ocean Elf: Ugh, creepers. She wouldn't happen to know or be related to that so-called angel in a pink dress, would she? And suppose I just turn my back on her and go my own way…
CP: You must utter this sentence exactly.
Ocean Elf: Listen, pal, I say what comes from my own mind, not what anybody tells me to say.
CP: “I have come to earn the perfect partner. Does she accept my trial?”
Ocean Elf: *Aghast* What - the - …?
Okay, let's clear this up right now.
1. I don't want a partner.
2. I know there's no such thing as a "perfect" partner"
3. That is not only an incredibly gauche move for anyone coming up to a stranger to say something, but it has got to be the lamest pickup line I've ever heard.: Anybody would look at you as if you were sprouting seaweed out the top of your head if you said that.
CP: If she does she will simply state “The trial has been accepted. It shall begin at [local restaurant name] at 8:00 PM.”
Ocean Elf: So she's basically an android with a built-in listening device, a GPS, and programmed phrases she spits out on picking up the right phrase from whatever sucker whose attention she managed to grab.
CP: If she does not she’ll just reject you.
Ocean Elf: No problem, I rejected her long before this point.
CP: If you are rejected, you will never see this girl waiting outside any store ever again.
Ocean Elf: Oh goody, is that a promise?
CP: She will leave your life completely, because although you thought you had chosen to interact with her,
Ocean Elf: Actually, no. I chose to reject her. If she thought I was interested, well, her big problem. But now you're going to spin that "it was she who chose you" crap.
CP: it was really she who had chosen you.
Ocean Elf: *Gets gold star off shelf and puts it with rest of collection* I must ask again, does she know, or could she be related to that angel in a pink dress? These two share similar creepy behaviours.
CP: You will, in turn, spend the rest of your life seeing every other girl as nowhere in comparison.
Ocean Elf: Sure. As in, every other girl is nowhere as stutzy in comparison. (That's a combo of stuffy and ditzy.)
CP: You will live
Ocean Elf: I will live my life without you trying to determine any of it.
CP: an existence of regret,
Ocean Elf: Regret over walking away instead of punching this girl in the face and yanking off her jewelry? Nah. Tempting as that would be, it wouldn't be the best thing to do in a public place.
CP: depression,
Ocean Elf: Look, doofus, neither you nor your not-so-perfect girl can turn my mind into a depressing meltdown, so tell your Mary Sue friend to get over herself a little.
CP: and self-destruction.
Ocean Elf: I repeat, girl, get over yourself. I'd destroy you before trying to harm myself, and it would take a substantial real life situation for me to get to the point of doing things out of despondency that might be self-destructive… Girl, you don't qualify as that sort of life-altering experience…
CP: 3. First date.
Ocean Elf: Eww! No!
I'm handing the rest of this mangle job over to some of our male characters, and any female characters who have something to say as well.
So gang.
Here's the scoop.
Girl in light blue shirt and tight black jeans, diamond ear rings, and multicolour pearl bracelet. She's some kind of shapeshifter Mary Sue whose game plan is to attract people to her as a "perfect partner".
Character contingent: *eye-rolling*
Dmitri: How many partners does she want anyway?
Kitri: Eww. Leave it to you to ask that.
Toby: Partners for what?"
Kitri: *Eyebrows raise* Another loaded question.
Ocean Elf: Not sure exactly. I think she believes herself to be the new and improved Aphrodite.
Characters: *uproarious laughter*
Buck: What an ego. She really thinks a rejection from her can cause somebody's life to become a big hopeless hole of depression and self-destruction.
Toby: So… *Devious expression* Suppose somebody comes along and chooses to destroy her ego, her spell, and her life?
Jessica: Uh-oh, look out, Mary Sue girl, plans for you are in the making.
CP: You must arrive at the restaurant by 8:00 PM or you will never see her again.
Duckling: And if your clock and hers are not in sync? I guess you're out of luck.
Jet: No, you're in luck. You don't have to buy her dinner.
Sundown: Which would probably be the most expensive thing on the menu.
Toby: I'd rather go with Jessica anyway.
Jessica: Aww.
Kitri: That's too late for dinner anyway.
CP: Don’t worry about reservations or anything. They are already placed. When you see her, be casual, confident, and friendly.
Toby: Sure, I can do that, so can a salesperson trying to sell you a bunch of over-priced stuff.
Jessica: Hehe! To her, it's a date. To him, it's a mission.
Sybil: *Hums Twilight Zone theme*
Characters: *Laughter*
CP: It wouldn’t hurt to look good either.
Dmitri: Well, that counts me out.
Sybil: No it doesn't, you just happen to look, well, devilishly charming.
Dmitri: Urgh, well, thanks - I guess.
Jessica: *looks over the group* Well, if this girl wasn't looking for a date, but a friend of either gender, I'd seriously think about you taking her up on it, Sybil, or Kitri. But - as for you boys, anyone game?"
Male furbies: *most look a bit disconcerted as they talk among themselves*
Jessica: Look at it this way, that lame line she'd be hoping to hear from some guy would go over much better for anyone, coming from a furby than a human.
Buck: Hmmm, good point. I could swing that first part, but the second, not so much.
Jessica: So you do the mystical android bit at the shop, and Toby can do the date at the restaurant.
CP: Don’t worry about the mystical talk anymore. Everything from now on will be as if she was just a normal date aside from a few exceptions later on.
Floyd: Ah, those exceptions, that's always where the big catches are.
CP: Be casual, funny, considerate, happy, and charming.
Jessica: *Looking at Buck and Toby* That should be easy for either of you.
Buck: Unless she doesn't have the same sense of humour.
Toby: Friendly and charming as a con artist. Gotcha. Happy? Well - hmm.
Jessica: Well, I haven't decided which of you guys should do this mission yet.
CP: Have fun,
Toby: *Cough, cough*
Kitri: *chuckles*
CP: but above all, DO NOT MAKE HER SAD.
Buck: Okay, I won't say how tacky her costume jewelry is or ask her what poor schlub got stiffed into buying those over-priced bobbles for her.
Characters: *Laughter*
CP: To know how to get around this ask her “What elements of this world bring your soul pain?”
Kitri: "What elements of this world 'bring your soul pain'?" I thought you said not to worry about doing mystical talk.
Toby: Hold it, back up. You just said not to make her sad, and then you said to ask her what makes her sad. Irony? Oxymoron? Contradiction? Big something like that.
CP: She will list you everything that makes her unhappy, angry, sad, depressed, and just plain not happy.
Sybil: And if she's anything like Jessica,
Toby: Not.
Sybil: *Nods and chuckles* She would start feeling unhappy just going down that kind of a list.
Dmitri: I get the feeling her list wouldn't be all that long. Mainly getting thrown over for somebody with a real personality, who isn't so stuck on themselves.
CP: For the next nine dates
Buck and Toby: *Look at Jessica in horror?
Jessica: *Stares back, just as baffled*
Buck: You mean, this isn't over in one date, we have to do nine of them?
Jessica: I thought this was a one-day deal too.
Toby: ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
CP: you will need to know these. Feel free to list them as she tells you. It is crucial you don’t make her upset.
Jessica: "Crucial" this, "crucial" that. Bah.
Toby: I'd rather just end her.
CP: If you do AT ANY POINT skip to the end.
Toby: That's what we're trying to do here.
Jessica and Kitri: Lol!
CP: 4. You will have set up a second date by the end of the first one.
Buck: Uh, no!
Toby: Ugh!
CP: If you didn’t then you have the wrong mythical girl,
Buck: Huh? Lol, she's just wrong no matter what.
CP: because this one will have set a second date.
Toby: So, add inflexibility to this Mary Sue's set of off-putting traits. She gets to decide everything from then on, including future dates. Bleh.
Jessica: *Grimace* I'm feeling trapped just by reading these instructions. You don't have to go through with this. But I got a feeling what either of you decide will depend on how badly you want to cream this girl and what you're willing to put yourselves through to accomplish that.
CP: Do the same as the first. Just have fun. You may have noticed by now that she never seems to smile. She may smirk, but she never smiles. She even seems to laugh without smiling. This comes into play later.
Toby: So, this is a date where the guy is supposed to pretend to enjoy himself and do whatever he can just to coax a few smiles from this girl that never come. One-sided and boring.
CP: After the date is when things are at a make or break spot.
Toby: Yeah, as in some guy finally breaks it to her that she's not the dream catch she thinks she is.
Buck: And then he breaks an egg over her head.
Toby: And it's rotten.
Kitri: Eww! *Laughing* You two.
CP: She will tell you this “The time is right. Commit me”.
Jessica: Yeah, to a mental hospital…
CP: She will then walk away as if nothing happened.
Toby: And hopefully she walks away for good.
Kitri: So, she doesn't say goodbye or anything, just "Commit me" and walks away. Leaving the guy to scratch his head, wondering "What the heck?"
CP: Do not follow her.
Buck: No fear of that! Ugh!
Toby: Hah, that was a dare, and I'm taking it.
Buck: *Wince* Eww.
Toby: *Grins mischievously* Well somebody's gotta find out what that chick's really up to.
CP: You must get back to your living quarters (house, condo, apartment, mansion, box ‘o’ sh*t, whatever you live in) as quickly as possible.
Jessica: Now now, watch the lingo.
Kitri: *Grin* Well, I know we did live in boxes for a while anyway. Before Jessica unboxed us.
Other furbies: *Nodding and smiles all around*
CP: When you get inside you will find a book and a vial full of clear liquid.
Jessica: Uh-uh. Because I don't let strangers into my home.
Ocean Elf: that girl must've teleported them there.
Dmitri: Our boxes, even if Jessica had kept them, aren't large enough to hold a book.
Holly: Mine was.
Buck: The liquid could be some kind of poison. Don't touch it whatever you do.
Jessica: Sounds suspiciously like some kind of black magic or other. No thanks.
CP: Take these to a window where the moon is visible.
Jessica: Ugh. What is this, some kind of moonchild lunacy? Why not just turn on a light?
Ocean Elf: Have nothing to do with that stuff. It sure sounds like some kind of witchcraft.
CP: Open the book. It will be full of pictures of the girl.
Kitri: What? A book full of pictures of her, and she thinks other people would want it? This girl's got a seriously swollen ego!
Toby: Ugh! Why would anybody want to see pictures of her after finally seeing an end to the second dull date with her?
Kitri: Find out anything?
Toby: I caught her working out of what is probably some spell book, and a few little bottles of some kind of fluid.
Jessica: What color was it?
Toby: Clear, s far as I could tell.
CP: in every photo she will look sad and depressed.
Indy: sorry for cutting in, but oh my heck. We got another Cherie on our hands!
Jessica and furby contingent: *Shudder*
Toby: I'll bet that's just it. She's a sadness addict, and she's looking for people to drain happiness from. That's why she threatens you with depression along with any rejection from her. But either way, you get sadness with this chick.
Jessica, again, so much for this girl having a "wonderful" personality and "unbeatable" sense of humour. A real haw-haw every minute.
CP: if you look closely you should see small pearl trinkets, much like the ones on her bracelet, sitting next to her in the pictures.
Toby: I knew those pearls had to mean something. They probably represent all the lives she sucked dry or snuffed out altogether.
Indy: She probably thinks she's stealing the souls of the guys who let her down.
Jessica: *Rolling eyes*
CP: At the back of the book will be a photograph of the girl wearing what she was on the day you first talked to her.
Toby: Because she never changes her outfit. I thought that was established in the beginning. The only question now is does the next guy get turned into another pretty pearl on her bracelet?
CP: She will look neutral. Not sad nor happy, but neutral.
Buck: The same way she always looks in person.
CP: Open the vial of the clear liquid.
Buck: I'd rather not.
Toby: Hand it over, then. *Approaches and takes vial from where it was placed, as Jessica and Buck look alarmed*
Jessica: Toby, don't! -
Toby: I'm not gonna do anything with it, much less what this chick wants done. I just wanna see if it looks and smells the same as the stuff she had with her. *Carefully opens the vial, sniffs without getting face too close, closes vial again, being careful not to get any of the liquid on himself, looks through it and back at anxious onlookers* Yep, same stuff.
Jessica: *Quickly takes vial away from Toby* I'll take that now, and the book. *Picks up book off table, walks outside to put them in the trash, and returns*
CP: On that picture, drop one drop of the liquid from your fingertip onto where the girl’s heart is.
Buck: No thanks. I'm not touching that stuff. And how are you supposed to know where her heart is in a little picture in a book?
CP: Then take another drop and place it on your chest where your heart is.
Buck: No freaking way!
Toby: Good for you, Buck, that stuff's really bad news.
CP: You must then douse the window with the rest of the liquid while the moon shines trough.
Jessica: It's 'through' and not happening. I'm not making a mess of my windows in some moon magic no one around here believes in.
CP: Make a circle with the liquid with the moon at the center and stand in front of it.
Jessica: Again, no.
CP: You must then say “I commit myself to the perfection and the perfection to me. Let the bond commence.”
Jessica: *Scowl* Not on your life!
toby: *Disgusted look* Aaaaaagh! What perfection? Love to break it to you, but this chick ain't perfection in any sense of the word! Bonding one life to another, that's slavery, it's sick! As the Terminex commercials say, 'Not here, not now, not in my house!'
Indy: *Grimace: No thank you! Had enough bad experiences with people who believed in "bonding" others lives to theirs and moon whackadooery, I don't want to deal with any more of that, ever again!
Ocean Elf: Pagan moon magic bonding rituals. We don't do that here. *Scowl*
CP: A single beam of moonlight will shoot through your window and hit you in the chest.
Buck: Is that where I'm supposed to say "Ouch"?
Characters: *Laughter*
Jessica: No, it won't. Moon beams shine wherever they do dependent on where the moon is in the sky in relation to the earth.
CP: As you fall backwards you may feel a slight sting as the liquid drop literally absorbs into your heart.
Buck: I knew it. That stuff's poison, Probably some kind of acid.
Toby: Tears, actually.
Kitri: Eww. Who cries that much?
Buck: You're asking that after seeing those sad pictures?
Ocean Elf: either way, chalk it up to very bad intent on her part.
CP: The liquid on the picture will also absorb.
Toby: And does the picture scream in pain?
Jessica and Kitri: *Laughter*
Other characters: chuckles, giggles and grins*
CP: If you go back to the picture now, you will notice that you are standing beside her in some generic cute couple pose.
Buck: Ugh! Gag me.
Jessica: So, this book is some kind of magic or else very smart device, like a Kindle in about a hundred years from now. None of us are ever going to be in those pictures…
CP: She will still seem neutral, but as long as you complete Step 5, that will not stay for long.
Buck: She can just go any time. Including out of the book.
Jessica: Which is now out of the house too.
Characters: *laughing*
CP: 5. You will receive a call on your cell phone some time in the next week (if you don’t own a cell phone you’ll be shocked to notice that you do now). It will be her.
Jessica: So, she buys her dates cell phones, and activates them? How handy. that way, she's got all their passwords and whatever info she either pumped the dates for, plus stuff she just made up, and could really have fun stalking and harassing any poor guy who managed to please her this far.
Indy: Eww! *Grimace*
Toby: *Scowl*
Buck: Yuck! *Shudder* I'd like off this ride.
CP: Her contact will be listed as whatever name you find most desirable.
Toby: She can forget that, no one matches Jessica.
Jessica: Aww. Thanks.
CP: The number she calls you from will be “1”. That’s it.
Jessica: Not possible. 1 is the number you dial when you're about to make a long-distance call, on landlines and cell phones both.
CP: She will ask if she can come over and watch a movie. Obviously you say yes.
Buck: No.
Characters: *Laughter*
Jessica: I was always taught it was impolite to invite oneself over to another person's house.
Kitri: And suppose there isn't a movie on at the time?
Toby: Oh, but don'tcha know? She'd just make the TV or computer you're supposed to watch the movie on, show some movie she makes up in her head and then projects from her mind onto the screen and through the speakers. All of that meaning, it's another test she expects the guy to pass for her.
Jessica: Wow Toby!
CP: When she arrives, you will be greeted upon opening your door with a smile.
Buck: Probably a smug smile too.
CP: A smile that could stop time, level mountains, extinguish the sun, set Antarctica on fire, end civilizations, and create world peace all in the same day. it will be the most beautiful smile you will have ever seen.
Characters: *Shock horror*
Ocean Elf: HOL-LEE - CRAP!
Indy: What? I can't believe somebody actually wrote this crap!
Jessica: What the…? I just don't even - oh gosh - ugh! that was - painful and hilarious all at the same time!
CP: Your soul will be filled with so much happiness that you will feel faint or intoxicated. You yourself will not be able to stop smiling in return.
Ocean Elf: Intoxicated - you know what the effects of that are, don't you? In a word, hangover. Know what hangovers do? Make you puke.
Jessica: Eww. *Laughs*
Ocean Elf: I'm smiling all right, but not for reasons you expect!
If ever there was a kind of prize or world record for corniest, most laughable, obnoxious, ridiculous, way over the top and utterly annoying Mary Sue description, this would be it!
Toby: *Ticked off and disgusted, wags tail irritably and Clears throat* Well, now that we've all laughed ourselves into a near coma, I'd like to point out a few things..
Characters: *Laughter dies down to listen, a few furbies exchange nervous glances*
Toby: Time keeps marching on. Mountains have shifted and some may have even been levelled by earth quakes throughout the earth's history. The sun has not been extinguished. Antarctica has never been and is not on fire. We don't want civilizations to end, but you talk as if that would be a good thing. Boo-hiss on you.
Kitri: *Claps* That's telling' her!
Other characters: *applaud*
Toby: *unstoppable rant mode* World peace has not and will never be achieved as long as people find things to fight about, and your silly Mary Sue's smile can't do a thing about any of that, much less all in one day.
Characters: *Sounds of laughing agreement*
Toby: What's more, her smile couldn't hold a candle to Jessica's for beautiful.
Jessica: Awww. toby.
Toby: *Still getting worked up* Or the smiles of Peekaboo and Tina, or any human baby. Or the smiles of people who have just been freed from oppression and reunited with loved ones. Or the smile of a couple who has just found out they are having a baby, one they had been hoping for. Want more examples? How about these. A patient who thought his condition was hopeless or terminal, only to find out it was misdiagnosed or actually went away, so his life will improve and he's not gonna die from whatever the condition was. How about the deaf girl who hears a sound for the first time, or the blind boy who is able to see because of medical advances that could improve their senses? How about the person who gets some wild squirrel or bird tame enough to take food from her hand or a dish on her lap? Or the indescribable laughter and tears of joy and relief on the faces of everyone involved, especially family and friends in the recovery of a child who was lost, missing, or fallen down a hole but will be fine? There is depth behind all of these that your pathetic Mary Sue moon magic girl - just - can't - even - touch!
*Silence*
Characters: *Some cheers, some applauding*
Sundown: Hahahaha! Owned!
CP: You will, to put in simple terms, absolutely love her.
Toby: *Frustrated sigh, stern expression* No, absolutely not! This girl has been deliberately not smiling throughout all of those dates, meaning she was planning all along to hit whatever guy, I guess it's me in this case, with some big smile that's supposed to be a storehouse of all the smiles she kept hidden until the movie date. It's hardly dazzling, it's all for show, it's a manipulation game, and it's as contrived and phoney as the day is long!
Jessica: *Bursts out laughing* Note to all Mary Sues. Don't bother trying to impress Toby. You will fail dismally every time.
CP: Eventually this will be interrupted by four simple words. “Can I come in?”
Kitri: *Rolling eyes* Where's the goofy, over-dramatic music when you need it? This is so cheesy it's rancid.
Buck: And the answer is still -
Buck and Toby in unison: NO!
Characters: *Laughter*
Duckling: Hey Kitri, I thought you liked stinky cheese.
Kitri: I do, but not this kind.
CP: You then go about watching the movie.
Buck: *zzzzzzzzzz*
Toby: *Yawn*
CP: Maybe make some snacks.
Jessica: *Fixes plate of crackers, chips, and cheese, and offers it to Mary Sue Moon, Buck, and Toby.
Buck: *Snores, doesn't wake up*
Mary Sue Moon: Thank you, but I'm watching my figure.
Toby: *Rolls eyes at Mary Sue Moon Girl* I thought you wanted to watch the movie. *Accepts plate of snacks from Jessica, crunch munch munch, Omnomnom purr purr*
Mary Sue Moon: Shh, I'm trying to watch the movie.
Toby: *Irritated hiss and mutters under breath* You've got some nerve inviting yourself over and then telling me to be quiet in my own house.
Mary Sue Moon? What did you say?
Toby: Aw forget it. *Grabs a few chips and chomps them down as loud as he can*
Jessica: *Snickers*
CP: At the end of the movie,
Toby: Which must've been boring as all heck because I don't even know what it was supposed to be.
Buck: At least you were able to stay awake.
Toby: Only because Jessica kept the snacks coming.
CP: she will get up and go for the door.
Buck: Yeah, bon voyage, don't let the door hit *SLAM!* Sorry about that. Hahahaha!
Characters: *Laughter*
CP: Before she leaves,
Buck: What? she's still here? I thought -
Toby: hey, let me back in, you nimrod!
Buck: Whoops! Jessica! Help!
Jessica: What?
Buck: I thought I was seeing her off, and I locked Toby out. I guess he wanted to personally make sure she would leave. and she didn't follow. Oy.
Jessica: *Laughing* Oh dear. *Opens door, but doesn't see Toby anywhere*
CP: ask her “Was the bond accepted?”
Buck: Eww, no! *Shudders and backs away*
Toby: *comes into view from somewhere outside, sighing*
Jessica: Was the bond accepted? *Turns back to sneer out of sight of girl*
Toby: *Shudders and whispers, "Jessica, no!"*
CP: She will turn around, wrap her arms around your neck, and give you the biggest, deepest, and longest kiss you have ever experienced and will ever experience.
Ocean Elf: Oh, yuck! *Turns away in disgust*
Jessica: EWWWWW! *Struggles to get free* Mary Sue germs!
Toby: Hey, back off, you moon wench! *Lands on Moongirl's shoulder and yanks one of her diamond ear rings*
Mary Sue Moon Girl: *Startles and lets go of Jessica*
Toby: *Hops to Jessica's shoulder, concerned* Are you okay?
CP: When she lets go, she will leave. Feel free to pass out now from ecstasy.
Jessica: Ugh! I need to hit the shower!
Toby: Don't blame you. *Jumps down to rejoin Buck*
Buck: *Looks regretfully after Jessica's fleeing form, "Sorry, I shouldn't have ducked out like that.
Toby: Well, that weird chick wouldn't exactly hug either of us that way and unfortunately for Jess, she was the only other human in hugging range.
Kitri: That was disgusting. She has no manners.
Buck: And for all the hoops she demands guys to jump through for her. *Rolls eyes*
CP: 6. Continue dating. That is the only objective right now. Remember to NOT MAKE HER SAD.
Buck: Blah, blah, blah.
Toby: *Looks about to throw a fit* 'Never make her sad' 'Never make her upset' *Voice rising in extreme irritation* What about the fact she's upsetting me? Oh, but that doesn't matter at all. *Fumes and throws punch in mid air* Aaaaaaagh!
Kitri: Uh-oh. *Backs away*
CP: This includes even insinuating sex.
Buck and Toby: *Recoil in disgust* Ewwwww!
Kitri: *Scowl* Oh, gross!
Buck: I'd rather eat chalk.
Toby: Or somebody's homework.
CP: Until you have completed Step 8 you must always watch what you say or do.
Toby: Bor-ring!
CP: If you have EVEN ONCE skip to the end.
Buck: What end? End of what? This nightmare of a Mary Sue hanging around?
Kitri: And don't say the end goal in this is sex, because that's sleazy, and not happening here…
CP: She will begin to look different every time you see her.
Toby: Good, break up the monotony a little.
Characters: *chuckle*
CP: Her clothes will never wear as well the next day. Her hair will also fall different every time you see her. She will also never run out of things to tell you or discuss. Just go along with this step until the 30th day you’ve been together.
Toby: *Shock horror, Squealing* WHAT!? You said nine dates! Now you've just said we have to put up with this stinker for another month? *Screaming cry*
Kitri: *Winces uncomfortably and tries to console/calm him*
Buck: Looks around anxiously*
Jessica: *Comes back from shower and hears Toby's cries, hurries over* What's wrong?
Kitri: Bad news, this Mary Sue's not leaving for another month! Ugh!
Jessica: *Eyes go wide* WHAT!? That's what all this crying's about?
Toby: *Nods and continues to blubber, Dmitri style*
Jessica: Oh no, he's having a meltdown. Be right back, guys. *Picks up Toby and takes him to her room to hold him until he subsides*
Kitri and the others: *Look on with concern*
CP: 7. It is day 30. Upon arriving to your set date, you will notice something.
Buck: Noticing is what some of us do best.
CP: The girl you once loved
Toby: *Headdesk* get it through that thick skull - none of us ever loved her.
CP: is now wretched and ugly, almost like a corpse.
Buck: Eek! *Recoils and flees*
Toby: *Frowns* As long as she is merely "like" and is not actually a corpse, and she doesn't try to touch anyone, I guess I can last a little longer. But no more extensions!
CP: Her eyes are sunk back in her protruding forehead. Her skin sags from every inch of her body. She is grey. Her skin flakes off.
Kitri, Sybil, and Duckling: Ewwww! *Duckling and Sybil beat a hasty retreat while Kitri stays put but turns away in disgust*
Jessica: *Grimaces and looks away in disgust* I know this is just another test. But, eww, grody.
Toby: *Shudders at first, then grins Impishly* Manna, mmm-hmmm.
Jessica and Kitri: *Stare at Toby in a mixture of shock horror and bemusement, grossed out groans and bursts of laughter*
Jessica: *Fit of nervous laughter*
Kitri: Leave it to you to upstage even her and send the eww-factor right through the stratosphere. You are one sick…
Jessica: Just when I thought I couldn't get thrown off by anything from him any more. *Laughs*
Toby: Heh, glad do know I haven't lost my touch.
CP: Her hair is white wherever there isn’t a bald spot. Her frame is bony and hideous.
Toby: *Stares, but doesn't flinch or look away*
Mary Sue Moon Girl: *Beckons to him*
CP: You must complete this date as though nothing has changed. Love her as if she looked the same.
Toby: Argh! Do I need to say it again? No - love. Get that through your head. But as long as she isn't faking this, and I think she is, pity is the best I can do.
CP: If you upset her or have upset her skip to the end.
Toby: Blah, blah, blah!
CP: It is the “True Love” trial.
Toby: *Impatient sigh* No, it isn't. Besides the absence of love, which I explained about a zillion times already, true love isn't determined or earned through a bunch of stupid tests and trials. It just doesn't work that way.
CP: Get passed the looks and find her beautiful anyway by the end of the date,
Ocean Elf: Gah! *Facepalm* Why is everybody so dang mang hung up on "beautiful" especially when it comes to girls? Get freaking over it already!
Toby: It doesn't matter what she looks like, her personality and whole con game stinks!
Jessica: You know something, not even a real date would demand this much. It could also backfire later. Suppose I was dating and I suddenly decided to look like a sickly, scrawny old hag. I can't, any more than I could look like a supermodel, but suppose I could. It would be unreasonable for me to expect even my own family to recognize me, let alone anyone else. And there is this. Suppose the guy just went out with anyone regardless of their appearance, to the point where everyone was the same to him. Part of what makes you you is your appearance, so if some guy goes out with you, and you change everything about yourself so you're not recognizable as you to him, and he goes out with the new you, he is two-timing you with you. I hope that made sense.
Kitri: It does make sense In an oddball way.
Toby: *Nods* Okay, I'll go, but she's gonna get an earful over this, eventually.
Kitri: Wow Toby, is there anything that can repel you?
Toby: Yeah, hot sauce. Watching you down it. That's cringe-worthy. *Grins at Kitri*
CP: and you will be fine.
Toby: Look, you drip, I actually find this form of her less odious than her supposedly "beautiful" state, but my love goes to Jessica, and my fellow furbies, and our new friends from the missions. They don't play tricks and head-games or dabble in dark lunar magic, and they have the personalities, and senses of humour that this strange mage girl lacks.
Mary Sue Moon Girl: *Beckons again*
Kitri: You better go now, her Majesty summons you.
Toby: *Sigh* Be back, hopefully sooner than later.* Heads out when Jessica opens the door to see him off*
Mary Sue Moon Girl: *Returns to Jessica's with Toby, but just stands on the front lawn as if waiting for something*
Jessica: *Sits and looks out the window* "Oh, they're back.
CP: When you take her outside after the date, you must kiss her once for at least 3 seconds on the lips.
Toby: *Violent shudder* Wha!? *Looks both horrified and mortified* I gotta - kiss this wench!? Somebody please help me get out of this! *Squirming*
Kitri: *Bemused, looks at Jessica* Sorry, I shouldn't find this funny, but I just can't help it. Poor guy.
CP: Her skin will then fall away revealing the girl you saw on the first day, beautiful as ever and beaming at you as she stares into your eyes. Feel free to the kiss her as passionately and as long as you want under the full moon (it will be full).
Toby: Ugh! *Recoil* No thanks! I don't want that uber Mary Sue girl back. I like her better this way and sure as heck don't want to *cringe* kiss her. And cut out the moon chakka already, this girl can't -
Characters and Ocean Elf: *Laughter at the Moon Chakka reference*
Toby: *Grins and can't quite keep from laughing* She can't make the moon full every time she wants to be kissed.
Kitri: *Silent electronic communication to Toby from in the house as she watches him through a window* "Go ahead and kiss her if you dare. You can always bolt when she gets her moon goddess form back, and at least you will have proven to her that you don't care what she looks like. I'll get Jessica to let you in.
Toby: *Same silent communication to Kitri* Ugh. I don't love her, though.
Kitri: But you feel sorry for her, don't you? Just - kiss her better. Pretend she's like Tina or Peekaboo. I've seen you kiss them better whenever they've gotten hurt. I've seen you do the same for Jessica, big time, I might add, when she needs comforting.
Toby: Yeah, but I love them.
Kitri: Yeah, but I've seen your face whenever you see or hear someone we don't know, crying. I can tell you'd love nothing more than kiss them better too.
Toby: *squirm and Silent laugh via furby communication* You don't miss much, do you?
Kitri: Dmitri's the same way, and so is Sybil.
Toby: Dmitri should be out here doing this. at least he's got a beak closer to a human's mouth. Mine's like yours -
Kitri: Toby, just get on with it. All the other guys are scared stiff of her. Even Buck. They've all gone into hiding.
Toby: Ask Jessica if that's okay. And, if I was her, it wouldn't be.
Kitri: *To Jessica* Mary Sue Moon wants Toby to kiss her. Should he?
Jessica: *Wince* If it will get her to leave, yes.
Kitri: He's afraid she won't. He intends to dash back in here to get away from her afterword.
Jessica: Oh, poor guy. Okay, let's watch, and then I'll open the window for him to get back in here.
Kitri: *Silent electronic communication* Toby, Jessica says yes, go ahead. Come in through the front room window, Jessica will open it.
Toby: *To Kitri* Ugh. Okay, here goes.
Kitri: *To Jessica and Peekaboo* He's really gonna do it.
Peekaboo: *Shudders and giggles* Eww, I wouldn't even want to get anywhere near her.
Jessica: Yeah, well, Toby just doesn't seem to gross out or scare off easily. *Grin*
Kitri, Jessica, and Peekaboo *Watch from the front room window*
Toby: *Kisses Mary Sue Moon until she begins to transform, then he bolts through the window into the house*
Jessica: Are you okay?
Toby: Yeah. I think so.
CP: 8. The final day in your test has arrived.
Toby: Uh, no. I thought you said thirty days, now it's thirty-one? I told you, no more extensions!
CP: You will know because you will awake and your heart will be glowing. Literally glowing through your chest (you’re not Iron Man don’t get excited).
toby: *Frown* You're confused. I just happen to be one of those with light-up eyes. Some of my friends are the same way. They've always done that. So Mary Sue Moon hasn't changed anything there.
CP: She will call you on your cell and say “Now is the time of reckoning. Are you prepared?”
Jessica: *Gets phone call from girl saying just that* What? *Hangs up* Moon Sue just threatened me with a "reckoning".
Toby: *Tail wagging angrily, eyes flaming, fur puffing out* Reckoning? Look, Moongirl, you've just threatened my friend Jessica, and after she asked me to be nice to you. So, I will not be nice to you again. This is war! I'll make you a corpse before I'll let you turn Jessica, or Buck or anyone else into another of your gaudy pearls!
CP: At this point, if you answer “Yes” things will proceed. If you say “No” then you will never see her or hear from her again.
Jessica: I did neither.
Kitri: Oh dear, what if she takes that as a yes? *Glances at Toby* Looks like you'll just have to find and follow her again to see what she does next.
Toby: *Hisses and growls*
Jessica: Everyone just stay put, we'll assume for now that she's gone for good.
CP: She will arrive at your house on the beginning of the next hour.
Dmitri: *Smells something off in the air outside, tail wags in fear, eyes go wide, bolts behind a chair* Run for cover! she's back!
All furbies except Kitri, Toby, and Sundown: *Do just that*
Sundown: Good gravy! Does this chick never take a hint!?
CP: She will enter and head straight to the bedroom (before you ask, yes this is exactly what it sounds like).
Characters and their authors: *Disgusted scowls all around*
Ocean Elf: So - it all comes down - to - this? Eww, gross!
Jessica: *Horror-stricken* hey you! *Tears after Mary Sue Moon* What makes you think you can just barge in here like that? Get out of my room!
CP: Follow her.
Jessica: That's what I'm doing - she's just invaded my room!
CP: She will undress.
Jessica: *More shock horror* hey skank! I said get outa here! If you're not out in 2 minutes, I'm calling the police!
Ocean Elf: Well Moon Girl,you tried everything to tease the guy before this point and told him exactly what to do, pretending to be so prim and proper on the one hand, yet trying for biggest seductress on record, and, well, let's say I'm not exactly surprised all of that "Never upset her" protocol stuff was all just a big act. Face it, all you want is sex and trying to get guys writhing on a string for you so you can destroy them later and add to your stupid cube pearl collection. You're so greedy to get it all that you didn't even realize you kissed Jessica, then charged into her room to undress.
CP: You should follow.
Jessica: No! Kitri, Toby, sundown, keep an eye on her. make sure she doesn't steal anything. *Slams out, leaving the three boldest furbies shut in with the horrible Mary Sue*
CP: Then get down to business.
Furbies: *silent communication for a couple moments*
Toby: So, let's get down to business. you're in Jessica's room. You were not invited. If sex is your idea of a reckoning, you are insane. So do yourself a favour and get your clothes back on before the cops come in here and bust you out of here in the buff.
Mary Sue Moon: But buck, I thought you loved me.
Toby: You thought wrong. and where I come from, love doesn't mean a bunch of ridiculous tests, followed by tromping into some strangers room to do the nasty.
Mary Sue Moon: But - you kissed me last night.
Toby: To make you leave. Didn't you notice? I didn't stick around after you shifted yourself from pitiful girl back to the conceited, trampy form you're in now.
Mary Sue Moon: What? You didn't? I was so blown away. You're the only man that's ever passed all the previous tests and dared to kiss me when I looked ugly.
Toby: And you are still ugly. Here's why. You base everything on sex and appearance, and you call it "love". You demand any guy dating you to look good, then you demand him to think of you as "beautiful" when you take on your pathetic sickly form. I call that hypocrisy.
Sundown: *Claps*
Mary Sue Moon: *Gapes* What about the movie a month ago when I came in to this house with my civilization-ending smile? Don't you remember, everybody passed out!
Toby: From laughter. I didn't. Your little storehouse of smiles was cheap and tacky. It didn't shine, sparkle, dazzle, glow, or even glimmer. And that movie was a real snore-fest.
Mary Sue Moon: *Shrills* How could you say that after all we've been through?
Kitri: You mean, all you've put us and especially him through? Because you deserve it!
Mary Sue Moon: *Loses temper and tries to catch Kitri, who dodges her easily*
CP: When you both are done,
Kitri: Correction: Mary Sue Moon and Toby might be done arguing for now, but we're fighting until -
Jessica: Cops are here!
Mary Sue Moon: *Still refuses to get dressed and keeps sniping at Kitri*
Jessica: In here. *Leads cops to her room, where they enter and haul Mary Sue Moon away in her starkers, but they gather up her clothes*
Jessica: *Picks up a shaken Toby* Well done. But I have a feeling she might try to harm someone who displeases her.
CP: the glow in your chests will become extreme,
Toby: I explained why that isn't happening before. Mary sue Moon can go around glowing all she wants, and looking like a complete weirdo, as long as she doesn't come back here.
Sundown: That whole notion she has about her liquid, tears, or whatever the stuff was, making somebody's chest glow is utterly ludicrous. Compounding that with the idea that it's supposed to mean love, oh, please! Stupid!
CP: knocking you both out.
Toby: Nope, I'm still conscious. So much for Mary Sue Moon's magic chest glow. Yuck!
Kitri: *Bursts out laughing* This is just too corny!
CP: When you awake,
Toby: I didn't get knocked out, nor did I fall asleep until later that night when things were back to normal after we got that monster out of the house.
CP: you will be infatuated with the girl,
Toby: Never! *Grimace*
CP: and she with you.
Toby: That's her problem.
Characters: *Laughter*
Ocean Elf: She "will be" infatuated? Infatuation is what leads up to sex in the first place. Here's what I think - the girl is more in love with herself than she could ever be with any man, and as soon as she "chooses" a man she sees while on the hunt at the mall, she gets infatuated immediately. It just gives her a real power rush to put them through their paces, and suck them into performing a dangerous and evil bonding ritual that can only destroy them later when she is tired of or has no more use for them.
CP: This will wear off slightly after about a month,
Toby: What: Ugh! Another month and the chick still isn't over me? help! Jessica! help! Please, hold me! I'm scared!
Jessica: *Laughs and picks up Toby* "There, there, Toby, it's okay.
CP: but you will always remain in the “honeymoon phase”.
Toby: She might be, but I'm staying in the "Go away, moon freak!" phase!
CP: You can now say whatever you like.
Kitri: Clue, I've always been able to do that, and none of us need yours or her permission to say anything.
Toby: And Mary Sue Moon is still ugly.
CP: She is yours and you hers.
Toby: As in mortal enemies, sure.
CP: Enjoy your life.
Toby: And you, get a life!
Characters: *Laughter*
CP: IF YOU MADE HER SAD BEFORE STEP 8:
Kitri: Things probably never would've gotten as far as the dreaded step 8…
CP: Get to your home as quickly as possible.
Jessica: I'm already there…
CP: If you haven’t put the liquid in your chest yet
Jessica: Nope, I threw it all out.
CP: then you need only burn the book that is laying on the table.
Jessica: No need. I tossed that out too.
CP: if you have then this is where it gets tricky.
Jessica: nope, not gonna worry about that. But, there might be some poor sap somewhere who messed things up by Mary Sue Moon. So Toby, I want you to answer the next time she calls here, and find out where she is. Tell her you want to come see her. Then, shadow her.
Toby: *Scowl* I thought we were through with this chick. It's been a whole day she finally hasn't called, and I'd like to make that longer.
Jessica: But since you're the only one she seems to trust. You can get close enough to find out what she does with anyone who has 'made her sad'. Then you can either end her yourself or call us for help.
Toby: Ugh! Jessica, when/if this ever gets done, and I manage to survive, you'll owe me about a gallon of cotton candy ice cream, or vanilla milk. I'm gonna need it, badly. *Trembles to show signs of withdrawal*
Jessica: *Grins* You got it.
CP: You have to stab yourself in the heart. Literally breaking your heart will disable the bond.
Jessica: *Recoils* Eww. And kill yourself painfully into the bargain.
Buck: I was right about that liquid stuff being bad news!
Ocean Elf: This is why you characters were wise not to fool about with that liquid and unwittingly bond yourself with this wicked mage. Bonds of this type, resulting in the fusing of two lives into one is always a bad thing.
Toby: And those guys who did the liquid thing but couldn't stab themselves after making Mary Sue Moon sad, are now bonded to her, as little pearls in that ugly bracelet.
Ocean Elf: I think that theory is correct.
CP: You must also burn the book with the pictures in it.
Jessica: No. I told you, the book got tossed out with the rest of the trash.
CP: Keep the blade in the wound to keep from bleeding to death and call 911.
Jessica: Eww! Pain much? You moron. That won't stop you from dying anyway. When you stab yourself in the heart, it is going to bleed out even with the knife still stuck there, plus everything else would shut down from trauma and lack of proper blood flow.
CP: If you fail to burn the book (and break your heart if needed) within one hour,
Jessica: Neither are necessary, the former is already taken care of, the latter should never be done.
*Mary Sue Moon: *Just shows up at Jessica's calling on Buck again*
Jessica: *Interupts game in the basement* Toby, Mary Sue Moon is here for you.
Toby: *Shudders, scowls* Later all… I hope.
Others: *Wish him good luck and farewell*
Toby: *Follows Jessica upstairs, looking as if he's about to face a firing squad*
Mary Sue Moon: *Insists on another date, and when it's over, she thinks she and Toby have gone their separate ways*
Toby: *Follows her*
CP: the girl will break down your door. Her hair will be jet black, along with her eyes and finger nails.
Ocean Elf: Okay, I would've appreciated this info earlier. Oh well, got it.
So, she breaks down the door of some poor sap who displeased her on one of the 30 or so dates before the infamous step 8.
CP: She will be wearing nothing.
Toby: *aghast* What? Her clothes went down with the door? Jessica, please, make that two gallons of cotton candy ice cream.
CP: She will begin to weep at your door frame.
Ocean Elf: Why? If she's that upset, I'd think she'd be crying long before she even got to the door.
Toby: What an actress.
CP: As the tears hit the ground they will engorge, transforming into streams of water, filling your house.
Toby: Oh, crap. Not much I can do about that. *Laps at a tear puddle on the floor, which shrinks back to what it would've been before engorging* Eh? I wonder if they all do that? *Laps at another swelling tear stream that shrinks back to a few drops*
Ocean Elf: Good work, Toby, keep it up. Now you know where she gets all that bonding liquid. Only this time, it's going to be used against her.
Toby: *Nods and laps at a few more places of engorging tears and they just shrink away*
CP: The stream will burst into a river,
Toby: *laps that up too* How much more of this: I won't have any room for ice cream, and then I'll really be mad at that chick. Maybe I should just get right to the source.
Ocean Elf: Eww! *Laughing* If you dare.
Toby: Oh, this is a breeze compared to what she's already put us all through, especially Jessica. That kiss. Ugh! That horrendous smile. Those dull dates. That snore-fest of a movie. But worst of all, her invasion of Jessica's room. *Lap lap lap*
Ocean Elf: *Grimace* I really don't think that girl could see past herself. She was so wrapped up in her own supposedly magnificent body and amazing smile/kiss ability that she didn't even know who she was kissing or smiling at. But even if you can't stop all of the swelling waters, the lack of a door can. I mean, with the door broken down, the streams of tears wouldn't fill the house anyway, they'd just run out and into the street.
Toby: *winces and nods at Ocean Elf* Let's hope she can't flood this whole town.
Mary Sue Moon: *Suddenly unleashes another deluge that catches the man of the house in its wake.
Unfortunate man: *Just manages to swim out and miss the fate the girl had planned out for him*
Ocean Elf: Good, he's out. And I just had a wicked idea! Toby, you can just let the tears rise and swell for what's next. Here's where you can be a stand-in for the man who was just saved. Don't worry, I'll make sure you won't be harmed. It will look like harm is being done from where the girl sees it, and she will cry real tears of regret when she sees what she's done. but you will be fine.
Toby: Uh okay, if you're sure.
Ocean Elf: Here we go, with the rest of the girl's wish.
CP: sweeping you off your feet and bursting your lungs and stomach as the water floods your esophagus. As the waters consume you, your body will dissolve into them. When you are completely gone, the waters will recede back to the being at your door and slowly center at one spot next to her foot. When all of the water is finally gone, a small pearl trinket of unique color will be lying on the ground next to the girl. The next time a man sees this girl, she will have a new set to her collection, and the next time he goes in the book to seal the bond, there will be another picture of the sad girl standing next to the trinket.
Ocean Elf: Oh, we'll just see about that.
Let's put this in story form and stop this lunatic in her tracks.
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