Minor edits for language.
Author: mollie
PG-13 - English - General/Parody - Publish date: 01-25-02 - Updated: 01-25-02 storyid: 566702
Now, I personally have not written any ''Mary Sue'' type fics, though yes, I have read them, and yes, some of them are pretty laughable. But what annoys me more than the huge influx of Mary Sues is the huge influx of Lets Parody Mary Sues. So here goes, the Parody Of Parodies!
***OK, so here goes, I'm a bored, sad, vindictive net surfer looking for somewhere to vent my anger. I know! I'll bash some Mary Sue fics! Yeah, coz my writing is soooooo much better...despite my splling and grammur mistakess. Oh wait, I'm supposed to be, like, above them! So I'll use the spell checker. *Crosses out splling and grammur incident) There! S-p-e-l-l-i-n-g, G-r-a-m-m-a-r. Wow, now I am just so much better than all you Mary Sue authors, yay!
Oh wait, I forgot, time to bring on the b|tching. OK...*thinks for a moment* Must come up with an intelligent attempt at humour for my title. Remember, Mary Sues always have crappy titles, so what can I write to be a bit different? *Rifles through own un-posted Mary Sue fics* Oh, what the hex, I'll just call it The Best Parody In The World...Ever! Wow. Now time to begin.
As I myself have most likely not read *Lord Of The Rings* (just seen the film 10 times, but don't tell anyone...) I'll skip most of the beginning details, a) because Mary Sues never write them either and b) I'll probably miss something or get it wrong and then, shock horror, someone might disover that I am in fact no better than the...dreaded...Mary Sues! So, I'm onto the Rivendell scene. Time for some nasty jibes about how everyone loves Orlando Bloom...
"Oh Orlando...um, Legolas...I love you from the bottom of my broken heart! Britney rules!" (Note to self: make constant jokes that Mary Sue authors are Britney fans to disguise my own embarassing musical preferences)
"Oh Mary Sue, I love you too!" (Note to self: I just completely turned my story into a self-contradiction. Legolas isn't the sappy one...Mary Sue is! And, um, people always talk about OOC which might possibly mean something like Out Of Character, but I'm not sure what it means, so maybe it'll be OK. Anyway no one really bothers actually READING the story, they just like congratulating the author on being mindless and judgmental. Ah, the net surfing public!)
"Oh Legolas, must you go on the Quest?"Mary Sue cries (Cries! Wow, what a vocabulary I have...I can't possibly be as low as Mary Sues now!)
"Oh Mary Sue, I must!" Legolas kisses her and I, the author, make more nasty comments about how disappointed Mary Sue will be when she finds out that Strider and Boromir are gettin' it on behind her back...hey, no one needs to know about the stupid crap on MY computer!
(I will now write a load of pretentious, self-righteous, samey crud which I see as highly amusing, with a lot of mean jabs at Mary Sues, for a few chapters to fill space and win me favour. Must describe Mary Sue as a 'dumb blond', whilst weeping over my own exam results and twiddling my bleached hair round my fingers. Ah! That should do it. And no matter how bad my fic is, no one will care, because it seems to be seen as an act of great intelligence and wit to write damning fics, ie. great big flames, about other peoples' work.)
Mary Sue gets eaten by the Balrog, Legolas kills himself, Strider is upset and everyone acts really hamgoddem OOC (Hamgod, I love that word...must look it up sometime...) Haha!! Aren't I funny! Aren't I clever! I just wasted valuable file space on a huge flame, all to hide my own insecurities and self importance. Please R&R, I just felt like being mean right now, I don't have a proper life you see...Mary Sues bite!***
Sorry everyone that concerned, but hey, Mary Sue authors have feelings too, right? So cut them some slack. Can't we all just appreciate each others' work...if you don't like it, don't read it!
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