One day, Miranda contacted Pippi, and it couldn't have been at a worse time.
Ariel had just been hospitalized for heart problems.
Pippi couldn't get a word in to explain this, because Miranda was hysterical over a murder that had taken place in her neighborhood.
Miranda had seen the victim on TV and believed it to be NT.
Of course, besides that obviously not being true, the story made no sense since NT refused to visit or even keep in touch with the people in Miranda's neck of the woods - Tonya, Nick, Jacquan, and other friends of Miranda's she didn't even know.
Nevertheless, they had been fooled by the appearance of the dead girl in their neighborhood.
So, Pippi and Ameh had to bring NT down to where Miranda was at, to prove that she was in fact, not dead. They did not let NT know this beforehand to avoid a fight.
That same day, a terrorist attack occured in another town altogether, but it was all over the news, in graphic detail and images.
Once Pippi and Ameh arrived with NT at Miranda's complex, Miranda tried to talk to NT, but she didn't answer them back.
Thankfully, Tonya and Nick weren't there at the time.
It was then that Pippi finally said, "I have more bad news, Ariel is in hospital. Something with her heart. They'll be keeping her in for a time and running tests.
Miranda showed no concern or acknowledgement, and only continued talking about the murder of the NT look-alike. "Tonya says it's a couple of bad mages that are doing this, and they've been crowing to Nick and Jacquan that they'll never be caught by the police because of their magic."
NT narrowed her eyes.
Pippi frowned. "I see,"
"Can I have N stay in my room?" Miranda asked.
"Only for a moment." Pippi said, and got both girls sitting together on a bed in Miranda's part of the suite, and she found some blankets to put around them to help relieve the trembling. "We're not actually staying, Miranda, I only brought NT here to show you that she is not dead."
Pippi's intent was good, but it also turned out to be the worst thing she could've done, putting those two girls alone in a room together.
NT remained eerily silent. She sat still, glaring at nobody in particular, and unresponsive to Pippi's or Miranda's touch.
"Miranda, NT hasn't been communicative since it happened. She probably won't talk." Then she left the two girls alone and went into the main part of the suite, just as Ameh came in.
Miranda hugged NT. "Oh my gosh, N," she sobbed. "I'm just so glad it wasn't you--though that poor girl.."
NT only continued wringing her hands and glaring in silent rage.
"I might not have any magic like you do but I want to rip them apart too." Miranda stormed.
Same glaring and wringing of hands from NT.
Miranda put a hand on NT's. "I mean it. If you find those losers let me come too."
No response.
"N, please! I've got to do *something* or go nuts worrying. What's gotten into you?" Miranda had never seen NT acting like this before. She was fighting not to start crying again. "Demn it do you think you're the only one who's had it rough? What about Cherie? Or Ameh? Or Ariel or even me??"
But that was the wrong thing to say to NT. The problem was that NT was aware, too aware that people had it rough. Miranda never had been good at communicating with her because of their past bitter rivalry which had been Miranda's own fault. But even though she was trying now, Miranda still had a tendency to cop an attitude and rub NT the wrong way.
NT had no reason to doubt the story of the murdered girl was true, and this on top of worry about her mother was making her silently agitated. The last person she wanted to be around was Miranda, whose sudden show of love and concern she just didn't trust.
Unable to stand any more, NT suddenly exploded. She hauled off and slapped Miranda across the face., Then, moving away from Miranda on the bed, she glared and let her have it.
"Use your head, Miranda! I never said I had it rough. *Everybody* does! This is not about who can throw the biggest pity party, MIRANDA," NT retorted, emphasizing Miranda's name in accusatory dislike.
"N!"
"it's about life and death! And war on terrorism! Unlike you - I don't waste time thinking about 'how rough I got it' when there are People getting hurt and killed!"
"You don't get it!" Miranda wailed, desperate to reach NT and not knowing how. "Not everybody knows you're alive - some of my friends haven't come back yet and so still think you're dead!"
"You don't get it! You don't get it!" NT mocked Miranda's last comment. Then she said, "Well I'm not dead - and as if your reject friends actually give a den, oh, please! Go back to your friends and leave me alone!" She turned and stormed out of Miranda's room.
"What happened in there?" Ameh came from the kitchen, where she had been drinking a glass of water.
"Miranda's just sorry for herself again." NT muttered in disgust, "I'm getting out of here. I don't know why you brought me here in the first place!"
"We had to let Miranda know you weren't dead, NT. She thought you were because another girl got killed here, one that looks like you, apparently."
"Well, she's the one who's been wanting me dead since she first laid eyes on me, and probably Mom too!"
"That's not true!" Miranda retorted from her room, flinging the door open.
"Right, you almost got me jailed and trashed as a tramp out of the goodness of your heart!" NT shouted back."
Ameh's cell rang.
"Guys! Tone it down!" Ameh held up the phone for the girls to see.
They subsided so that Ameh could answer.
"Hello?"
"Tonya's just turned onto the road." Pippi informed from her vantage point somewhere outside.
"Gotcha." She hung up.
"Time to go." Before Miranda or NT could do or say anything, Ameh grabbed NT and shifted her out of that place and back home.
A second later, Pippi had arrived home, magic transport device in hand. "How did it go in there?
"It didn't." Ameh said, but at least Miranda knows NT isn't dead.
Later on, at Kristina's invitation and urging, Pippi had taken NT to stay with her, in the hopes it would help NT to come out of it a bit and begin to heal.
Pippi wrote several days later, offering to take NT back home and take her off Kristina's hands.
Kristina responded, saying that There was no rush, NT was welcome to stay as long as she wanted, although knowing what NT wanted was far from easy. The girl spent most of her time just sitting in a chair, staring out the window.
Kristina reported to Pippi that at least she could get NT to eat by putting a plate in front of her or putting the food in her hand, because NT never helped herself to anything or asked for anything.
But Pippi wanted to take NT back home, so she arranged to pick her up at Kristina's the next day.
Miranda had called, collect of course, from where she was staying, and wanted Pippi to pick her up before going to get NT.
Pippi hadn't planned on that, and told Miranda she couldn't manage it.
"Couldn't you just zap over here using your transporter? That wouldn't delay you going to get NT would it?" Miranda appealed.
"I guess it wouldn't." Pippi had to give in, unable to find a reason this idea would not work. But she had misgivings about Miranda, who would probably try to snap NT out of it, then get upset and run off again like always.
When they arrived at Kristina's, NT was sitting at a computer, Kristina had hoped she would use it to write her thoughts and feelings down. But as usual, NT just sat staring without really looking at it. Her hands were not on the keys, she was just sitting there, holding herself and trembling. She always seemed to be cold, and although Kristina had wrapped a blanket around her, it had unwrapped and fallen off..
Miranda walked over to NT and gave her a hug. "Come on, N, it's me," she said, hoping she'd get NT to talk to her.
Feeling the warmth of Miranda's arms around her, and becoming aware of voices near, NT let herself lean against Miranda, and uttered a barely audible sound that was like a sigh and a weak moan.
"N?" Miranda said, not sure what she'd heard, but any sound at this point was better than that zombielike silence. "Please. say something."
There was no further response.
Miranda lost it. She grabbed NT by the shoulders and shook her, not to hurt, just to get her attention. "Demn it N *look* at me, those stupid killers aren't here and I am!!" she cried. "I want them too but you've got to snap out of this!!"
NT responded by shoving Miranda away and glaring at her.
"For gosh sake N, it's bad enough my mother's so sick, I don't need you freaking out on me too!"
NT just narrowed her eyes.
"N...oh my gosh N..." Miranda wailed, and struggled not to start crying. When NT didn't speak again, Miranda turned and ran from the room, out to where Pippi and Kristina were talking quietly.
"And all of this is happening while Danae is away, and I'm beginning to think that--"Pippi stopped in midsentence and looked in the direction of the sound when the flurry of activity that was Miranda came rushing in. "What's happened?" She got up and took Miranda in her arms to try and calm her. "Miranda,what did she do to upset you this much? Or was it just what she didn't do?"
"Pippi, she's just so...not there, you know? I told her that I couldn't take seeing her this way, it's bad enough Mother is sick, But gosh so is she. She looks at me and right through me, as if I wasn't there, and I don't know how to reach her."
"I know, Miranda, but none of us seem to be making any progress with her, and it's not for lack of trying." Pippi sighed.
She went in, picked up NT, said goodbye to Kristina, and transported back home with NT in her arms and Miranda hanging on to her for dear life..
Pippi had to transport Miranda back to Tonya's, then forcefully shove her away in order to transport herself back home without her.
Rebekah and Ariel, Miranda's and NT's mothers respectively, remained in hospital.
NT still didn't respond to anyone who tried to counsell her or write directly to her in emails until Cherie provoked her.
When NT responded, it was not what Cherie had expected.
NT let it fly, telling Cherie to mind her own business and to stop bringing up bad memories and talking about her sad life story all the time. NT ranted, detailing when and how Cherie persisted in making her upset, with the loyalty test world mission thing being the culmination of it all.
Cherie wrote back.
* * *
From: Cherie To: NT Subject: Please!
NT,
I wasn't trying to upset you. I just want to help. I feel rotten for upsetting you. I never should have taken you on that mission.
I know you could come back and be NT again if Ariel gets better, and there's something else you should think about. Miranda says that if Ariel isn't coming back, she might as well just stay here since Ariel's the only mother she ever knew. I've been transporting her to your town on the weekends and then picking her up to go to school here. But she says she'll just stay here if you don't forgive her, and for once, she really does have your best interest at heart, I just know it.
Please, for all our sakes, be NT again. I can't go on living like this. Make Ariel immune if you have to, surely you can do that since you have magic immunity.
Cherie
* * *
This was another attempt at forcing NT's hand, and they both knew it.
NT had this to say in reply.
* * *
From: "Maryam" To: "Cherie" Subject: Bull Crap!
Carting Miranda in and out of town on weekends so she doesn't miss school, is that what you think you're doing? What a pathetic joke. Didn't she tell you she dropped out? Yes, Pippi found out when trying to find out which new school Miranda was supposed to have enrolled in...Nothing. She's not going to school here either. She was supposed to go back to school here after the reckoning but she didn't.
But that doesn't really matter. If she wants to screw up her life even more, that's her problem. She wouldn't have run off in the first place if she really cared about us at all. You know she's tight with that Tonya person and all her friends, right? Like I said, it's her life. If she wants to stay down there, fine, good riddance!
I'll just get off the internet if it'll get a little peace and quiet from her and you always on my back about this and that.
I'm done with those people and if you and Miranda want to keep cozying up to each other and that bunch, don't come crying to me when you want something or your lives get messed up… She made her choice, so she can demn well deal with it.
The point is - you're not going to use the threat Miranda made of staying down there permanently to blackmail me into being NT for you. Miranda's already moved there. She never gave a demn about Ariel anyway, so I'd have to be blind, deaf, and stone stupid to believe that bullcrap!
Miranda was only here because Pippi's the one keeping her in the loop on Rebekah Harlan's condition and says she'll take her to visit if Rebekah improves. Oh, but how silly of me. That's right, you just told me Miranda said Ariel was the only mother she ever had. So Rebekah's nothing to her I suppose?
I can't magically heal anyone or Ariel wouldn't be in the hospital, duh! Not that it's any of your business, but she's got something magic can't fix...!
So don't try me unless you want trouble! Just stay out of it and fuss over Miranda and CO. She obviously wants your pity, I don't!
NT is dead, she's not coming back, and Miranda got what she wanted anyway. She always hated N anyway - this is just another excuse for her to save face and run off. Good riddance to her and everybody's new best friend Tonya!
Stop going on about that other world mission okay? Don't blame yourself for some stupid world you didn't create and don't rule, just stop! DON'T bring it up again or I will block your email and that will be your fault! I don't want to talk about it, Cherie! I don't want to talk about it! Got it!? And did I tell you yet that I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!
Is it getting in there at all!?
Maryam
_________________________________________________________________
In desperation, Cherie wrote to Pippi, bemoaning the fact that she couldn't seem to help NT. She included copies of hers and NT's notes back and forth, and told Pippi she wanted to help NT the way she had been helped by her. She begged for a way to make NT understand. Along with that was her usual ritual of self-denigration, going on about how she really must be evil since all she ever seemed to do was mess things up.
* * *
From: Cherie Evans To: Pippi Subject: NT
Pippi,
I try and I try, so why can't I get through to NT? Just look at this. I know I'm to blame for taking her on that mission and I'll never forgive myself. Why is it that everything I do just turns out badly? I must be evil just like Drusilla and Tompkins said I was. Otherwise I would be able to do something right and get through to NT. And now she's so mad at me and I don't understand because I only ever tried to help her!
Cherie
* * *
Pippi replied.
* * *
From: "Pippi Longstocking" To: Cherie Subject: Re: NT
Hello, Cherie,
If I knew how to fix NT and how you could help do just that, I'd have told you long ago.
NT's had a history of depression since before you ever knew her, only we've been able to pull her out of it before, because it's been largely due to low self opinion, and yes, Miranda was a major contributing factor.
But it's not just low selfworth that's making her act this way now.
I've known previously normal emotionally stable adults to break down sort of like this, over a single traumatic event. I can only say at this point that it's really a wonder to me NT managed to survive as long as she did without completely cracking, given everything she's either witnessed, or been put through directly in her short life.
She is a very disturbed person right now. She looks normal, and acted normal as a baby with an adult's intellect possibly can, for as long as she could.
NT's at a point where all of the kind words we say to her may not make much difference, and if we try to be firm with her, she sees that as a challenge or a threat, no matter who it's coming from.
What I'm getting at is this:
You cannot hope to help someone this fragile when you're emotionally fragile yourself, and you are.
In a way, NT is much harder for me to work with than Ameh. At least Ameh has always sassed back and usually unwittingly let things slip, and I've eventually managed to help her out of whatever crisis.
But NT doesn't communicate, and doesn't warn when something upsets her. She just explodes - and that doesn't happen often. Mostly she just sits. She's so full of rage - she doesn't even cry.
I've lived with her most of her life, so, I should know what to do about her, but I don't. So neither can you, and until we find out what exactly causes her to react when, and until we can reach her to begin really helping her, there's just no more that you can do for her than I can at this point, and, like it or not, you are just going to have to accept that until something changes.
Pippi
* * *
_________________________________________________________________
Only having skimmed the notes, getting the general idea, Pippi now read through Cherie's and NT's emails beginning to end.
"Oh, good heavens!" Pippi gasped under her breath and scowled. "What in the world was that Cherie thinking!?"
NT had not spoken a word about it when she had returned from that rescue mission, and she refused to discuss it when her guardians had questioned her.
the guardians had assumed the mission had simply been a miserable failure, or hadn't gone quite as NT would've wanted. But had Cherie really tried to make her sit through a slave market? NT had said something about Cherie telling her terrible stories, and that would've been bad enough. Pippi was becoming more and more sure that Danae's dislike and Cosima's growing suspicions of Cherie were well-founded. The girl had spelled nothing but trouble right from the start.
Pippi wrote an additional note.
* * *
From: Pippi Longstocking To: Cherie Evans Subject: Enough.
One more thing.
From the time we met you at the reckoning, you ignored all of our cautions at every turn, and every time, it's ended badly.
Now, you have been asked, then begged, and shouted at by NT not to talk to her about your abuse or the other world you took her to. By continuing to bring it up, you are disrespecting her wishes not to talk about it, and you are disrespecting her as a person. That was a definite undertone of her letters you showed me.
Your stories, and making her sit through a slave market auction in some other world, caused her to have a nervous breakdown and that is not a nice place to be. By bringing it up again and again to her, you are making her relive that experience of nearly going over the edge all over again. She wasn't ready then and she'll never get strong enough and be ready to deal with this either if you keep after her about it.
So if you won't listen to her when she asks you to cut it out, you are going to have to listen to me.
I am telling you in so many words, do not bring up these things with NT again until she's ready, and when she's ready to talk about it with you, she will initiate the dialog.
This brings me to my point. Any further messages from you that are upsetting to her will be treated as harassment. Any more whining messages to me will be treated as spam.
Let me worry about NT. You have friends where you are, who will no doubt, give you whatever it is you seem to need, or else you wouldn't be there now.
Pippi
* * *
She decided that from here on in, NT and Cherie shouldn't communicate.
_________________________________________________________________
Miranda got wind of the communications back and forth from Cherie and NT, and she just had to write to NT next.
From: "Miranda" To: "NT (Maryam)" Subject: NT, Please!
N,
Demn it how many times do I have 2 say it I feel like every kind of jerk there ever was 4 the way I acted!!
I was wrong then OK? wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So dont let whatever crap I said back then make u keep doing this now. Demn it N u & Ariel r the only family Ive realy got left.
& ur not acting like N anymore & Ariel is in hospital with God only knoes what.
I kno ur afraid of those $#*(#)*% buggers. I m 2.
But demn it, N…ur taking away the only family I have left.
Please. I dont want anybody else hurt by those slimeballs. But I miss you demn it and I ought 2 b more afraid of Hartworms than you are. @ least you got magic if not much of this imunity u keep talking about. I dont even have a little.
What the hex do I have 2 stay here 4 when I come back?
U tell me th@!!
I just want the only family Ive got left, back. Please.
Miranda
* * *
But if Miranda was expecting warm fuzzies from NT, and that by her eloquent writing skills she could persuade her to do what she wanted, she was in for a very rude wake-up call.
* * *
From: "Maryam" To: "Miranda" Subject: Re: Miranda, please! Shut Up!
Pippi said I should write you back even though you still insist, like everybody else, on calling me NT. That little wuss is dead and I'm not going to act like her to please everybody and give them a chance to hurt me, I'm not that stupid.
No, I'm not afraid of Hartworm and Hutchens. I'm afraid for anybody they are hurting and are going to hurt and might hurt if I don't take care to prevent it - get it? I don't know where they are. I can't predict the future. So I don't know who/if/when they might attack. Magic immunity can't heal what's afflicting my Mom, and you never thought of her as family, so don't give me that crock!
Since when did you ever give a flying hot den about this "family" you keep on about?
You didn't even mention your own poor mother in this pile of shrilling saccharin trash!
who's the crybaby now, huh? I'm supposed to just say it's OK now Miranda I forgive you for everything and be all lovey-dovey to you?
Oh get out of here!
I'm not explaining all that about the diff between magic immunity and physical conditions again! re-read Cherie's email if you need your memory refreshed about that. You two are obviously best buds, that's abundantly clear.
Anyway, other people lost their family members - as in dead because of the scum and you're the one who chose to run off so why should I protect you? You'd just come back only to run away again if Ariel is out of hospital or not!
You can say you're sorry all you want but no it's not OK!
You treated me like crap, then when you found out your father wasn't the saint you thought he was, you split!
And you keep staying with these malicious idiots who hate me and my family I might add!
If you really cared about ariel or me as much as you say you do, you would've left those jerks and wouldn't still be hanging around with them! If you really cared for your real mother, Rebekah, you would've at least moved somewhere close to her.
Even when the reckoning was over, you ran...again.
After you moved out the first time, Ariel cried herself to sleep or waited up so many sleepless nights because of you! She felt like a failure at bringing you up because all you ever do is run and get into trouble.
When you split again after the reckoning, she worried about your safety while the whole time you were living it up with Tonya, Jacquan and their reject friends.
Now all of a sudden you want me to just welcome you as a friend or sister or whatever when you made zero effort to make this work even after Tompkins was dealt with!
Forget it! You loused up. Deal with it and stay back there with your new family, that would be Tonya and cronies, whatever, just leave me alone!
Maryam
* * *
_________________________________________________________________
After a lot of crying, raging, feeling sorry for herself, and sulking, Miranda tried again to write to NT. This time, she employed a tactic she hoped would make NT feel bad about the things she'd written and start telling Miranda how nothing was her fault, and what a good heart Miranda really had, even if she didn't show it.
* * *
From: "Miranda" To: "NT/Maryam" Subject: Re: Miranda, please! Shut Up!
Call me a crybaby!! Call me a wuss!! Call me every dang name in the book and make up some more while ur@it!
I kno I deserve it all after being such a craphead! I kno!!!
u cant hate me more than I hate myself right now!!
Miranda
_________________________________________________________________
It backfired big time.
* * *
From: "Maryam" To: "Miranda" Subject: Go Away!!
O get a freakin clue! Unlike the conniving, bullying idiot you are, I don't spend my time dreaming up all sorts of stupid names to call people, or invent ways to humiliate them into the dust.
It's just too bad your conscience didn't kick in long ago. I was forced to put up with your demn crap for most of my life!
Then after the reckoning, you couldn't hack it all so you ran off like the ruddy coward you always were.
I don't have any good memories of you at all. I still want to break your face every time I think about what you and your friend Tonya did with that fake me in Jesse's store and nearly got me arrested and the terrible things you called me down at the station that time! You called me nuts, you compared me to a demn freakin' ruddy rapist! All because he had a personality change and you wanted to tell everybody I was having the same personality change! Trying to make me out as some sleezy two-bit tramp, and the nasty lies you said to and about my Mom then too!
Thanks to you and your best friend Tonya - I still dream about that night at the police station or that afternoon in the park when that woman started yelling at me and Mom because of something yours and Tonya's creation did - or backstage at that concert! Then there's what you did to Danae - I still have nightmares that one day you and the police are going to come and take Pippi away too!
Danae kicking you out of her room was the best thing that ever happened! I admire her for having the guts to do it! Everybody else including this 'NT' you keep claiming to care so terribly much about, was too busy trying to tip-toe around you, and you took full advantage of that!
You treated me like dirt!
Worse than dirt!
Then you ran!
You found out you didn't know as much as you thought you did! You got hurt by your father and by Iona, you couldn't handle it.
Then you ran!
Did you care about hurting Mom even more or trying to fix what you did with NT?
No.
You ran!
Did you move in with or near your real mother, Rebekah?
No!
You probably never gave her a second thought!
You ran!
Did you care about anything besides yourself and your stupid pride?
No!
you ran!
Do you care that some of the people you live with, hate Mom and me?
No! That makes them all the more attractive to you! You're still friends with them.
Did you come back when you said there had been problems between you and Tonya? Did you try and make a go of starting over with this 'family' you now claim to care about and miss so much?
No! You ran!
Right back to Tonya instead! You must've sucked up to her something awful! You would've had to in order to get back into her good books, I know how power-tripping control-freaks like that operate!
And you prefer that to this family you keep telling me you care so much about!
Well then, prove it!
Then there was that ludicrous comment you made the night that poor girl was found dead in the park - about "You think you're the only one who has it rough" and tried to put that stupid guilt trip on me because I was too upset about the dead girl and Mom being in hospital, to give you attention that night! As Titania would say - oh, puhleeeeeze!! A girl got killed and all you could think about was yourself and how my being upset was freaking you out! Gads, you DISGUST me!!
I thought I had forgiven you but now, I guess I haven't.And you know I'd never wish Tompkins and Hartworms on you even now. I'm not trying to be cruel, but I don't know how to be nice to you and I don't want to be nice to you, not with all these bad memories.
I never dared to really fight back when you caused so much trouble. I was afraid of even worse treatment from you, and upsetting everyone else.
You know, aside from the horrible crap with Tompkins, (who you got royally ticked off at when you found out he made a fool of you and took your dream of stardom away,) you've really got it made -- You always did. Even now. You got your kicks lying and skipping out and now you've not only got a dark-hearted mage as a powerful friend, you've got Cherie eating out of the palm of your hand as well. You'll be just fine as long as you can get anyone to buy your "woe is me" act.
And you try to lecture me with this "You think you're the only one who's had it rough" crap when all you ever do is act like you've had it rougher than anybody else! Oh, please! Grow up and look in the blasted mirror for once!
You don't want this to work - you just want to ease your guilty conscience - what there is of it - and get out of owning up to and making up for your actions - just like the spoiled whiny conniving little brat you always were! You expect people to put up with your crap and your lousy attitude but anyone dares to stand up to you and you lose it and throw fits as if you just got your arm cut off! And you call *me* a crybaby.
Good gosh, Miranda!
You did a heck of a lot worse to Mom and me than I could ever possibly do to you, angry as I am at you!
But you can't take it!
And at least I've got reason to be angry with you!
And I'm always the one who's supposed to "understand poor Miranda" after all, she's gone through so much and she was just being mean because she was very troubled! That's what they told me when you used to fight. *Gag*
Well I'm through trying to understand you and give you all the breaks and excuses!
You never even tried to understand me back then and you're still not! And that's not the worst of it.
Heck, you don't even give a flying hot demn about your own mother, not really! You made that clear back at the reckoning, no matter what you might be saying to anyone else about your tough life now to get sympathy!
You make me sick, literally, sick!!
you blew it, Miranda. You brought this on yourself!
I'm not letting you back into my life to cause more pain and bad memories! You ran away, you chose to, so now you can demn well live with that choice and stay away!
Go away, Miranda, and don't ever come back!
I hate you!
I hate you!
I HATE YOU!
_________________________________________________________________
Miranda wrote to Pippi, showing her the communications between her and NT.
* * *
From: "Miranda" To: Pippi Subject: What the hex's wrong with N?
Pippi,
Will u *look* at this 4Goshsakes!!
Look, Im shuttling back & 4th just like we talked about, so I can go 2 school here.
If N isnt N anymore...demn it what do I have left here?? *what*??
& now shes calling me a crybaby & maybe I deserve it after all the crap I did but do I have 2 spend the rest of my life paying for being so demn stupid??????????
I dont have a father. My mother I never realy got to kno is sick in a hospital.
& the closest thing I have 2 a mother besides her is in hospital too
Mayb I aught 2 just go back 2 Rebekah's even tho shes not there & spend the rest of my life praying. Or go mental & check myself in the way she did. Or join a convent somewhere.
If I dont have Rebekah and I dont have Ariel & I dont have N like shes supposed 2b & all I do is remember how stupid I was & how much that hurt N & Ariel and was probably part of all this along with #$#*#IO#U$ Tompkins and #$u94o#$i Hartworms...
what do I have 2 remember
Miranda
_________________________________________________________________
But Pippi didn't write Miranda back with words she'd wanted to hear, either.
* * *
From: "Pippi" To: "Miranda" Subject: You And NT
Miranda,
First off, obviously NT's been affected even more than she let on, but feeling sorry for yourself, or calling yourself down is not going to help.
Secondly, perhaps you and Tonya or Cherie or some other friend of yours talked and came to some kind of agreement on this crazy 'shuttling' back and forth business, not that I ever see you on weekends anyway, so you must be hanging out elsewhere if you do come to town.
Listen...You never talked about this with me now, or with Ariel in the past. You just snuck off and seem determined to stay there, and you have done this again and again; I have never agreed with that. So your statement that 'we' talked and came to an agreement is false. That never happened.
The truth is, you've been sneaking around behind our backs, and running off every chance you had.
You probably told Ariel that you had talked with me about your running off to first Iona's and then Tonya's, I remember you telling me that you mentioned talking about it with Ariel and Danae, and you claimed they gave you the okay to go there.
But you know, Miranda - Ariel, Danae, Ameh, and I, we communicate with one another, and we share and compare notes. So...I found out from both Ariel and Danae that you hadn't discussed any such thing with them at all...You told them I had suggested you get away for a while, so you took my advice.
Of course, I never suggested any such thing.
I, along with Ariel and Danae, never gave you permission or approved of your running off to "God only knows where" in the first place.
By the way, I did some checking around. I'm aware you have quit school, and you might as well know.
The lying stops here, Miranda.
This town is full of fine apartments that you could afford if you didn't want to live here in this house. Surely there are enough people around here that you could've even made some decent friends. Obviously, that isn't what you want.
The fact is, Miranda, you are still doing your very best to make up excuses for why you should stay with these people regardless, after you showed not a single iota of caring and consideration for Ariel when you were given every chance to after your kidnapping and later after the reckoning was over…
Why should any of us believe you now?
if I brought you back home, you'd just sneak off again, like you always do.
you grew up looking down on Ariel as nothing but a slave of your father's. You made that abundantly clear while you were living here. You ran away to Iona's when Danae threw you out of her room. You got so mad at us for trying to help Iona find a new place after the reckoning, that you ran away to live with Tonya, of all people. So why should I believe your sob story about caring for Ariel and NT, who you tried so hard to destroy?
You're upset about NT not forgiving you. So now it's time to ask yourself some hard questions. If you were in NT's place, and Tonya and somebody else had launched a daily prolonged hate campaign against you, could you forgive them? You can't even forgive Iona's betrayal of you, and her excuses for this behavior were no worse than any of yours, and at least she didn't launch an ongoing, vicious hate campaign and try to get your name trashed all over town and who knows where else. Simply put, that one betrayal Iona did against you is small potatoes compared with what you and your friends Tonya, Jacquan and Nick did to NT, and the additional problems Tonya caused for Danae.
How can you seriously expect me or anyone else to trust your claims of caring so much when you keep proving the opposite by staying with people who have such poisonous hate against someone in this home. I won't even go into the subject of your mother and the hurt you caused her during and since the reckoning.
I'd find your words much easier to believe if you hadn't such a history of lie-crap-and-run.
I don't want to hear any more pity talk about going back to this place or that place, and doing this or that because you are stressed out. We all are, and there's nothing that can be done about it until this threat to humanity stops.
Having said that, I realize the idea of praying is particularly LOATHSOME to you, but if you tried it, you just never know. It might just give you a little peace of mind.
I would not recommend a convent for you. Nuns are dedicated individuals to God. The only way the word "God" has ever come from you was blasphemy or at the very least, heedless. I am referring to your rantings whenever you use the word. that ddoesn't sound like concern to me. More like you throwing a fit because you can't handle NT standing up to you or anyone not handing you what you want, right when you want.
life isn't a free ride for anyone, not even you. You might as well start learning that now.
If you want to stay where you're living now, then stay there and let Tonya and Cherie protect you.
Don't ask me to pick you up and give you a place to stay for the weekends.
I will update you concerning your mother, and maybe take you to visit her when she's ready, but that's it. You're no longer welcome in my house.
Pippi
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Pippi received the following note from Miranda.
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From: "Miranda" To: "Pippi" Subject: Re: You and NT
Dang it all, u can keep ur pity, I dont want it!!
I just meant Id do whatever it took 2get thru 2 N & you and everybody else that Im *not* the same person I was before!!!
Im not
--
The rest of it contained so many typos that Pippi was unable to make heads or tails of it.
--
If th@s `pity talk' then fine.
I wont bother u again. Ill keep up with whats happening with N thru Cherie...shell understand even if you dont....
Miranda
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From: "Pippi" To: "Miranda" Subject: Re: You and NT
Miranda,
I've tried to be as gentle and understanding with you as I possibly could since you first arrived, and now it's high time you got a good shake.
Quite frankly, this last note of yours only tells me you seem far more interested in remaining exactly where you are, and crying your way out of taking responsibility for your actions than making any real effort at helping NT or anybody else, and you have some serious growing up to do. In plain and simple terms, you have learned absolutely nothing from your experiences, you have not grown, and you are still the same person you were before. Before what, exactly? If there was a moment in time where you changed, I couldn't pin-point it..
You say you're not the same person you were before, so prove it and stop acting like it.
You pulled the same "I'm so misunderstood" routine every time there was trouble in the past or somebody dared to disagree with you - and you're doing it again now, with this offish attitude of "well fine" and "she'll understand even if you don't" rubbish.
It's all I can do now to cope with very little sleep and piles of computer and paperwork, as it is, without you throwing fits at me as well. Your letter has got on my last nerve, Miranda, so, at the risk of sounding incredibly rude and crass, cut the bullsquirt.
As of now, NT is no longer Cherie's concern, I've put a filter on NT's email so that anything from Cherie or you won't reach her inbox. It's the only way I know of to keep you from exacerbating this problem. If you want her to get better, you have to step back and leave her alone to heal, like it or not.
If you go crying to Cherie, and she gives me heck, I will have to show her our communications so she at least knows what lead up to it. And this includes what I detailed in my last letter about your lying. I will also block her if she makes a nuisance of herself in my inbox every time you've managed to make her feel sorry for you when you don't get your way. I also haven't the time or energy to spend trying to help her when she continues to ignore sound suggestions while constructing a fortress of negativity around herself and bringing it into the lives of others as well.
Don't even think for a moment that I'm being mean to you, I've had to give it to Ameh straight when she's acted up.
Pippi
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From: "Miranda" To: "Pippi" Subject: Whatever!
U kno, ur such a hipocryte! u call me self-pitying, well, what the hex do u call what u said about having 2 much computer & paper work? Feeling sorry 4urself2? No, of corse not! But when I need a shoulder I get yelled @ & told 2 stop whining blahblahblahblahblahblahblah well whatever! Fine! B th@ way! I thot u were the most likely 2b a friend, even after Dad - escuse me - Horace, was stopped! I thot *U* would understand! I thot *u* cared! Guess I was wrong as usual! $@#$@$ u!
Miranda
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From: "Pippi" To: "Miranda" Subject: Last Warning
Miranda:
The more you write, the more you prove my points and confirm all my negative impressions about you…every single one of them.
I'm not going to waste my time and yours, engaging you in silly cat-call contests. Neither do I care to have your childish email tantrums cluttering my inbox.
Believe whatever you want about me or anyone else. Ariel doesn't owe you a thing. Neither does NT.
I will block your address, and any additional ones you use to send me this type of email.
I will continue to keep tabs on Rebekah, but unless and until you can behave yourself, and until you can convince us you really do give a flying kite about NT or Rebekah or even Ariel, you can forget about me taking you to see her, even if she improves and can have visitors. As long as you're still chumming it up with Tonya, a sworn enemy, you'll just have to find another means of transport for visiting Rebekah. You have the means. You have proved this over and over.
As far as I'm concerned, Miranda, you are on your own. I wash my hands of you.
Pippi Longstocking
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