Atheist Professor Anti-chains

That notorious meme about the atheist professor. generated anti-chain retaliations.

Yes, more than one, but none bother with the Islamic mutations of the meme..

The first anti-chain, originally found on that link, was made up by an anti-theist. It beginning with the story in brief and counters it by punishing the military loose cannons, but naturally the ringy professor gets off totally free.


To my extreme annoyance, somebody reposted this dreadful atheist professor hoax on pastebin.com! and another anti-chain. *Rolling eyes*

Mangle time.

Anti-chain From rockbeyondbelief.com

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💩Anti-Chain🗯: a college Professor stood on his chair

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? What's wrong with this guy? He stands on his chair?

💩Anti-Chain🗯: and said, “If your imaginary friend really exists,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*Nothing says "I'm an arrogant, hateful, intolerant jerk" quite like "I'm an anti-God" wacko who has no place teaching because I'm so freaking full of myself that I think you're stupid and delusional just for believing in God because I know for a fact he's just your non-existent imaginary little sky-fairy friend! I believe in myself as a god!"

Oxymoron, professor Townsen… If he exists, he's not imaginary and visa versa. Duh. If you don't think God exists, that's your problem, you don't need to foist it on a college class with students who might believe differently, as it is their right to do.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: then maybe he can knock me off this chair”.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so this guy still doesn't get it, and that's why he's standing on his chair like an idiot.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Nothing happened.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Other than maybe snickering and eye-rolling from some people reading about this poor excuse of a professor in this stupid anti-chain!

💩Anti-Chain🗯: The class was quiet.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, they're probably wondering to themselves "What the freaking hex is this nutter's problem!?"

💩Anti-Chain🗯: “See! Now I’ll give it a couple more minutes.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Obsessed whacko.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: An Army Vet stood, punched him in the face, knocking him out, and then sat back down.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What the!? Oh, now we have four guns going off half-cocked. What's with these military guys suddenly going off at the drop of a hat, or, chalk, or egg, or, egghead - oh, whatever!? And man, how many knocks does this guy need before he gets the message to stop being such an obsessive, pushy, obnoxious dweeb?

💩Anti-Chain🗯: As The professor came to, he looked at the student and said, “WHY'D you do that?"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because you're an insufferable jerk and they are a bunch of loose cannons. Duh!

💩Anti-Chain🗯: The Vet said "God was busy, protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid stuff like this, So He sent me."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not witty, not cute, not cool, not civil or classy, and no way to behave in a class setting that has nothing to do with physical combat! Not at all a Christian way to act!

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Let’s put on our thinking caps shall we? The story isn’t quite over...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh. "thinking caps" reminds me of a teacher who used that phrase, and I didn't like her.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: A clever redditor added this:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bleck. Depends on what you consider clever. This is anything but.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: I’d like to add to this:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Go ahead, but don't expect any praise from me. *Scowl*

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Weeks later, he underwent court-ordered psychiatric evaluation for the violent voice in his head.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, now you're making fun of people who fought through wars and come back with psychological problems, wow, the tolerance, the love, the compassion and understanding! Good going!

Actually, that violent voice in his head was just the pounding migraine he and everyone else suffered as a result of that loony professor assaulting their ears with his incessant screeching. Their ears rang with that racket for weeks.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Members of the press asked the Army veteran how he was going to prove his innocence. He punched them all in the face, and said “There’s your proof”.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which vet was this? I mean, if they go after one, they'd go after the lot, ya think? Surely the vet, the marine and the navy seal would be going through the exact same process, and reacting the same way. So at least that divvies up the punches a bit and not just one guy gets saddled with doing them all himself.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: His own lawyer has released a statement claiming that he is not mentally competent to stand trial.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: This lawyer who took on all of those cases at once, decided none of the military men at that college class were fit to stand trial.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Fight back, post this version!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brilliant! Fight stupid memes with more stupid chain letters. Yeah, no, stupid anti-chain! Hahahahaha! So much for clever.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: So, if you happen to see this myth popping up again, just make sure you copy and paste the ‘whole story’ (below).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, let's not. And this story was actually reposted again on that same link. Wow! *Delete second copy*

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Let’s spread this version!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Snicker* Anti-chains and anti-theism. Two flavours of stupid that go so well together!

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Maybe the point will be made that being skeptical is important.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: oh, sure, just how is this anti-chain going to accomplish that? What's the message? if you're a military guy and you flip out, you'll get locked up?

Skepticism is something that fictitious atheist professor didn't have, he was on an all-consuming mission to stop people from believing in God. It is good to be skeptical about people like him, because he's so wrapped up in this God thing that he can't teach and keep an open mind about other people. What business is it of his anyway whether his class, you, I or anyone else believes in God or not?

It is always good to be skeptical about memes, because the vast majority are hooey.

It is just as important to be skeptical about people who rant against them too, especially when the meme in question is religious or political, because the majority turn out to hate Christianity more than memes, but love to use the bad viral habit against believers as a way to make themselves appear, at first glance, less biased than the memes and re-posters they continue to mock.

💩Anti-Chain🗯: Ultimately, I hope our religious counterparts will end up over at the Snopes article debunking this entire story. It’s well written, unlike the rumor.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Blah. Everybody always just says go to Snopes Snopes Snopes... Snopes is not a reliable source of information. It has been disgraced, and is biased to the left.

For debunks of these memes: read here, and here.


Anti-chain 2 From pastebin.com

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💩Anti-Chain🥚: the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and lifted up his arm to strike him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And that's when the professor completely lost any tenuous grasp he ever might have had on reality.

💩Anti-Chain🥚: At that moment the professor was transformed into a 7-foot grizzly, wreathed in a halo of holy fire.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: This was his sub conscience, his dream, his fondest wish and fantasy. He was a deity at last!

💩Anti-Chain🥚: The bear spoke: “Blasphemer thou art, thou thinkst to take the place of God? Those who deny me face eternal fire, but you who knows my work and yet commits the sin of Satan I curse a hundred times over!”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: He had always wanted to speak that way, but he could only manage it in his fantasies. It never got pulled off this smoothly with other people present and interacting with him, but here in his sad little world, he ruled!

💩Anti-Chain🥚: The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently picking at his boils.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because in this dream, the atheist professor could also inflict dreadful conditions on anybody he pleased. One withering look at the hapless marine to go with the antiquated speech, and, voila! The marine was reduced to a trembling, boil-covered belly-crawler.

💩Anti-Chain🥚: Then Richard Dawkins burst into the room,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which added even more pleasure to the moron's ultimate fantasy. Not even staring at all those girly magazines or watching his stack of x-rated films ever got him this excited.

He bowed before Dawkins and praised him for his anti-theism and the invention of the chain letter Aka meme.

💩Anti-Chain🥚: wielding a copy of The Selfish Gene and crying “Leave that boy alone, you pathetic atavism!”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I had to look that up. Meh. Okay, continuing on.

the professor was stunned. He just stood there with his mouth open. Had Dawkins just bawled him out? He couldn't believe it. here he had spent years worshiping Dawkins and hitchins, and this was the thanks he got?

💩Anti-Chain🥚: As the holy bear whirled around, terrible light flashing in its eyes, Dawkins shed his mortal form, raised each of his seven horned heads, and hissed. “It’ssss me you want!”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nothing like pointing out the obvious. Well, Dawkins mutant, your idiotprofessor may want you, but I don't. Scram!

💩Anti-Chain🥚: Then the Lord

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Who is nowhere in this stupid anti-chain…

💩Anti-Chain🥚: and the Antichrist joined

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: NOT!

💩Anti-Chain🥚: in the final battle.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And that's when the exprofessor awoke, safe and sound, alone, in his own bed.

It had all been a dream. Now, he was faced with reality. no Dawkins, no boil-covered marine quaking in his boots, no halo of fire, and he was just plain unremarkable Jeremy Townsen.


Christopher Hitchens wanted notorious religious shock-jock to go to hell.

Dan Barker.

Sharpton and Hitchens.

Richard Dawkins.


Bill Maher


Atheist Professor Meme

Atheist VS. Little Poop Girl On Plane

Story to wrap up this stupid series

Yeah, as far as schools go, Mr. Atheist professor Townsen, you're fired!

Students, you are dismissed!

religious hoax, I'm so sick of you! When will you die?

Go away, fictitious atheist meme dude, unthinking reposters, and closed-minded, judgemental, bigoted, Christophobic anti-theistic fun dies and internet trolls with your stupid diatribes and anti-chains! How does it feel getting those insults hurled at Christians, hurled back?