Argh!
🤥Anti-chain: Student Neglects to Forward Chain Letter, Almost Dies
🧝♀️Ocean: Gah, I can just see what's coming. Yet another stupid anti-chain!
People just keep churning out these things year in and year out… *Rolling eyes* Nobody ever wants to do in the meme boogymen but the rare netizen known as the meme-mangler.
🤥Anti-chain: Some students remain baffled as to how to forward emails.
🧝♀️Ocean: Huh? Any elementary kid can figure that out, that's why this stupid killer clown is still going around the net years after some clod started the first mutation of the chain.
🤥Anti-chain: WESTWOOD – Yesterday morning, police were called to UCLA’s dormitories after a student woke up in terror.
🧝♀️Ocean: Hysterical much? Calling 911 over a bad dream, really.
🤥Anti-chain: The student, whose name cannot be revealed for security purposes,
🧝♀️Ocean: Right, just easier to put that instead of coming up with a name, oh well, just as well.
🤥Anti-chain: awoke to a clown above his bed holding a knife. The clown, bearing a striking resemblance to Bozo the Clown, had wedged itself in the cupboard above the student’s loft bed.
🧝♀️Ocean: Apparently it never occur to this scaredy cat that his fellow residents had just pulled a prank on him?
🤥Anti-chain: The student awoke due to a mysterious knocking noise above his head.
🧝♀️Ocean: Oh, right, because it can't be just any knocking, it has to be mysterious to make it sound more scary. *Rolling eyes* Anybody can make a knocking noise.
🤥Anti-chain: When he opened his eyes, the clown was directly in front of him, ready to strike.
🧝♀️Ocean: Just as the prank had been set up…
🤥Anti-chain: “It’s extremely worrisome,” remarked Officer Hudley of the UCPD.
🧝♀️Ocean: Gosh, these people freak easily. College students have been pranking one another since there were colleges and universities. Only now that it's a chain letter suddenly the police get worried. *Rolling eyes*
🤥Anti-chain: “The student had received an email with the subject ‘FWD: fw: fwd: FW: Forward: FORWARD: FWD: The Secrets to Life!!!’ in his student email. Along with some standard chain letter mumbo jumbo about love and the afterlife, it included a warning that unless you forward the email to ten people, a clown will appear over your bed with a knife while you’re sleeping.
🧝♀️Ocean: Way to study at college, forwarding chain letters, I'll bet parents are glad to know all that money for tuition and student loans is going to such stellar educational purposes…
🤥Anti-chain: Normally this is hogwash,
🧝♀️Ocean: *Rolling eyes* there goes again with another claim of "This one is really really really true even though all the rest are nonsense!" balderdash.
Without exception, every killer clown or other sort of forward-or-die chain is utter hogwash… Yes, including this one…
🤥Anti-chain: but I guess this clown was serious.”
🧝♀️Ocean: All these bad clown characters are serious about terrorizing and killing their fellow fictional victims. They are into making the image of clowns into creepoes instead of happy circus and carnival characters. *Scowl* That's what they do. That's no excuse for real people over the age of 10 to be scared of them and of chain letters though.
🤥Anti-chain: The clown is believed to be a part of the Association of Killer Clowns, or the AKC.
🧝♀️Ocean: Boy that clown sure has some people fooled. The AKC is the American Kennel Club. There is no AKC for clowns, and Not even this anti-chain could save this clown from his crushing fate. Continuing to spread fear of him is just folly.
🤥Anti-chain: While most chain emails are harmless,
🧝♀️Ocean: They are all harmless when it comes to the forward-or-die threats. Many are not harmless when it comes to spreading lies and using manipulative language to stir up emotions and upset unnecessarily.
🤥Anti-chain: the AKC selects a few emails each year to follow and act upon.
🧝♀️Ocean: No, the real AKC does not do any such thing.
🤥Anti-chain: Any emails that contain risk of death, harm to a loved one, or appearances of killer clowns should
🧝♀️Ocean: NOT
🤥Anti-chain: be forwarded in order to reduce the
🧝♀️Ocean: Nonexistent
🤥Anti-chain: risk of an AKC-registered clown ruining one’s life.
🧝♀️Ocean: That clown has already been ruined and will only keep getting re-ruined every time I come across any mutation of this stupid hoax, including droll anti-chains like this one. But really, AKC emails? Nice misuse of the college email system.
🤥Anti-chain: The student whose life was
🧝♀️Ocean: Apparently filled with terror from a bad dream and/or prank, but not
🤥Anti-chain: threatened is currently in Ronald Reagan Medical Center to recover from psychological harm.
🧝♀️Ocean: There is such a centre, but nobody got admitted there as a result of getting nearly killed by a stupid meme.
🤥Anti-chain: In the case that one finds themselves in a similar situation, the UCPD recommends screaming in terror and making feeble attempts to defend oneself before calling 9-1-1.
🧝♀️Ocean: Yeah right, wusses. How about just telling the prankers to cut out the memes, stop trying to make their friends believe in them, grow up and get some sort of a life? That's what anyone in charge would really be doing.
🤥Anti-chain: “This kid is lucky that his roommate was there,” concluded Officer Hudley,
🧝♀️Ocean: Oh, how precious. his roommate was there to hold his hand. Did it not occur to anyone that just maybe the roommate himself was the clown or the instigator of this whole prank and had got someone else to play the part?
🤥Anti-chain: “otherwise, who knows who would have called 9-1-1?
🧝♀️Ocean: No one, which is how it should be. There was no threat, just another anti-chain making as if death memes are true.
🤥Anti-chain: Definitely not the kid. He was too busy shitting his pants. Literally. It was pretty gross.”
🧝♀️Ocean: *Facepalm* Just because some fictitious kid is that much of a scaredy cat doesn't make this meme actually scary or funny.
🤥Anti-chain: If you or a loved one is in danger of being stalked by the AKC,
🧝♀️Ocean: Nope, it's the other way around.
🤥Anti-chain: the UCPD recommends starting your own chain letter to offset any possible tragedy. ❖
🧝♀️Ocean: *Headdesk* So scary I forgot to tremble. So hilarious I forgot to laugh. So original I just couldn't possibly see what was coming and was totally blown away by the plot because it has just absolutely like never been done before! Typical anti-chain.
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Over and out!
Anti Chains Are Still Just Memes