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Kirsty's "Why Rabbits Are Better Than Dogs Or Cats"

Aaaaargh!

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KIRSTY: Why Rabbits Are Better Than Dogs And Cats, And Why I Miss Mine

Ocean Elf: Uh well, sorry you miss your rabbit, but I disagree with you on the cats. I love cats as much as rabbits. Wherever I happen to live, if I can't have one, but can have the other, I'm happy.

KIRSTY JAN 17, 2013

Kirsty: When I was 14 a kid's consumer programme – along the lines of Watchdog, but presented by and for teenagers – came to my school. They came to talk to us about our issues, and to see if we would like to be on their programme. What was it that worried us modern day teens about living in the 90s, how did we feel about “the internet”, did we have an email?

Ocean Elf: Okay, please get to the point, because I'm not quite understanding this preamble.

KIRSTY: I put my hand in the air. “Bunnies.” I confidently ventured. “Bunnies are completely underrated pets, and it HAS TO STOP.” I felt a little flutter of pride at being the one who had finally said it. I have never been able to understand quite why they didn't run with this hot-button topic on their programme, but it was entirely to their detriment and I was less than impressed with the article on “why are tuck shop sweets so expensive?” that they ran in its stead.

Ocean Elf: Uh okay. Could've done without that in favour of your just saying that rabbits are overlooked and under-rated. But if you ranted on over there the same way you did here, I can totally see why your schtick wasn't picked. I would've rejected it too, even though I love rabbits.

KIRSTY: Rabbits make the best pets. That's right, I've just gone ahead and come out and only gone and done and said it.

Ocean Elf: And you've probably put off anyone who prefers a different sort of animal.

KIRSTY: I'll have none of your dogs and cats, or your budgies or guinea pigs – frankly, they can all f(censored) off as long as bunnies are around

Ocean Elf: Ahem. The language. Really. It's so over-the-top volatile considering the subject matter.

KIRSTY: and I'll tell you for why.

Ocean Elf: And I'll have to tell you why they are not the best for everyone, though they are undoubtedly best for you, and one of the very best for me.

KIRSTY: Cats don't love you.

Ocean Elf: Bullcrap. If cats don't love you, neither does any other kind of animal, including dogs and rabbits.

Kirsty: Whatever you think cat lovers, let me tell you now that they don't love you.

Ocean Elf: whatever you think, cat conspiracy theorists, your theories about cats VS. other animals in relation to humans are utter buttkiss.

Kirsty: They see you as a pathetic substandard life-form with a pitiful habit of craving their affection

Ocean Elf: Bull. Like other animals, cats have absolutely no concept of things like 'pathetic' and do not have ruddy superiority complexes as so many people love to imagine. Any cuddly cat craves affection just as much as a human or dog or rabbit. Otherwise, they wouldn't cuddle.

Guinea pigs and Chinchillas aren't generally too keen on being held or cuddled, and ferrets are too hyper/playful to sit still long enough to cuddle much. But no one accuses them of being so uppity as a result. Only the cat gets this stupid bad rep, thanks to our dumbbell penchant for anthropomorphizing them.

And there are people who make the same dumb statement, claiming rabbits aren't loving. Any rabbit I ever had, proves that to be false.

Kirsty: and talking to them in an odd squeaky voice.

Ocean Elf: Something I never do. I'm just not a babytalkish person, even toward animals.

Kirsty: If they could talk, they would tell you that their name isn't Mr Piddlepants,

Ocean Elf: Lol! Well no duh! I'd never name any pet something so moronic. And in a story I wrote, I had a bunny-like furby reacting exactly that way toward a new owner who gave him a name he didn't like. It's called If I Should die Before You Wake and the section where this takes place is New Home Horrors.

Kirsty: but is in fact RODENT CARNAGE MOUSE KILLER.

Ocean Elf: Uh, yeah, no, that's not a name, it's a description... And there are cats that don't kill other animals.

KIRSTY: They insinuate themselves into your graces through shameless flirtation

Ocean Elf: Wrong, unless of course you're prepared to accuse dogs and rabbits of that as well. What you are misconstruing as flirtation is actually, get this - AFFECTION! The very same affection rabbits show their owners! When you get a rabbit, dog, or cat, lying in your lap and licking your hand, you're getting their affection, unless they're just licking something off your hand that tastes good to them. Whatever the case, motive is the same for all three animals.

Flirtation suggests sensuality, which suggests, uh, - sex.

Well, let's just talk about that for a moment.

Cats flirt with people?

How about the dog that tries to hum - well, and how about the rabbit who was just introduced to a new rabbit, and can't get sex out of his system, so tries to take it out on your arm or a chair leg or whatever's handy?

Yeah, a once very young and naive me once tried to put my normally very calm, up to that time, extremely well behaved male rabbit with a new baby rabbit, thinking he wouldn't try anything since she was a baby, and a girl, so not a rival to him.

The result was rabbit hormones went into overdrive and I had to separate them, then put him back in his cage alone to cool off.

Kirsty: and loud cawing noises until you feed them,

Ocean Elf: Say - WHAT!? Cawing noises? Are you talking cats, or crows here?

Dogs can get real dang loud, too. Not over want of food, necessarily, but they can just spas out and split ear drums for no apparent reason.

Kirsty: and then they bugger off to the house next door to repeat the whole sorry process again.

Ocean Elf: Uh I got news for you, if you let a rabbit outside, it would do the same thing. Because you can't train them to stay in your yard. And don't think for a moment that a dog wouldn't try pushing its luck if you told it to stay in a non-fenced yard. If a neighbour had food sitting out, and your dog was loose, it would help itself to the neighbour's food just like the cat would do. Ditto for the rabbit if the food was to its liking.

Kirsty: They feel no remorse.

Ocean Elf: *Facepalm* Gah! Oh, please! Remorse is a human concept, not understood let alone felt by any animal, including rabbits.

Why should animals feel remorse for stealing another pet's food anyway? They do it all the time in the wild.

Kirsty: They openly shit in a tray in your kitchen, where you prepare your food, that you EAT.

Ocean Elf: So? Put the litter box somewhere else, genius! For that matter, I've read that rabbits will look for corners throughout the house to go when loose, so if you want to litter train them, you have to put litter boxes down in any corner or place where they are likely to go and leave them there until it's clear which place the rabbit prefers to use when running loose in the house.

Kirsty: They could not care less.

Ocean Elf: Neither could any animal that has to go.

Kirsty: I respect them for this,

Ocean Elf: Of all the things you just moaned about, this is the one you actually respect? You are one screwed up individual.

Kirsty: but it doesn't make me want to cohabit with them.

Ocean Elf: Then don't. It's up to you.

KIRSTY: Dogs on the other hand genuinely love you,

Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* No. Not if cats don't, or rabbits for that matter. Dogs are just as opportunistic, self-interested as the other animals, and considerably more loud, demanding and in-your-face to boot. That's why they'll always sit around waiting for the baby to drop food. Yeah, a dog would take the food right from a baby's mouth, that way, or maybe even in the literal sense. Everybody knows the cliche picture/image of a baby in a high chair, and a dog sitting below, looking hopefully up at the baby, hoping he or she will drop some food.

Dogs can be pushy. I haven't had anywhere near as much experience with cats, but growing up with dogs, there were plenty of times when some dog would follow me around and jump in my bed or on my lap, with a good chance of inflicting some drool to more or less of a degree, and I just wanted them to buzz off already. I have never had that kind of experience with any other animal, even when they lick.

Kirsty: but dear LORD

Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Cut the blaspheming!

Kirsty: have you smelt their breath?!

Ocean Elf: Ugh. Not only their breath with all that panting they do, but that doggy odor, yes, even with the wooly breeds it's there, and their pee/poo and fart and vomit. Dogs are smelly, and they make your hands smell too if you get hands on with them. Ditto for ferrets, but in their case, it's not their breath, but their waste and musk.

With rabbits, it's only their pee that stinks so bad.

Kirsty: Eating all of that revolting dog food and whatever crap they've found decaying in a field does not an aromatic mouth-odour make.

Ocean Elf: No kidding!

But that's where cats have one over on dogs. So far I've never heard about cats getting into anything seriously revolting beyond what's normal for them - hunting and eating small birds and animals.

And when cats eat, they aren't nearly so loud and sloppy about it as dogs are. Ditto for when they lick you. You can still hear them, but not near so much.

Kirsty: Plus, you have to take them out for walks, and I am lazy. A dog is not for me.

Ocean Elf: You don't have to take a very small breed dog out for a walk if there's space enough for them to run around in your home or in your yard. Of course, they really love being let loose to run like mad in an open field, and they are hilarious about it. Dogs have one thing over cats - the way they play. It's funny, cute, and there's no chance of getting pounced on/scratched/bitten as there might be with a cat pretending you have some sort of prey it wants to catch.

"How Can Anyone Not Like Dogs?" IMO, they're rather creepy. Just watch enough of this film and you'll find out why.

KIRSTY: Nope, it is rabbits for the win. Rabbits are brilliant for so many reasons.

Ocean Elf: Where rabbits have an edge over cats is that their food doesn't smell weird or all out stink - though cat food still smells better than dog food. And rabbit poo doesn't stink either. But other than that, I think rabbits and cats are equally desirable. Both will shed, but if you keep a rabbit outdoors, you won't have hair all over the house like you would with a cat.

Kirsty: Firstly, have you ever even seen a rabbit?! They are the cutest little bundles of joy that ever lived and I can, and do, waste hours on the internet scrolling through page after page of bunny photos squealing joyfully to myself.

Ocean Elf: I think tons of animals are cute. Yes, rabbits and cats among them.

Kirsty: Then, they are so clean.

Ocean Elf: So are cats, and house-broken dogs too, for that matter. They all groom themselves, and all three types of animal when affectionate might try to groom their owners.

Kirsty: They clean up after themselves by eating their own sh|t.

Ocean Elf: Not all of it by a long shot. Only a certain type, the night droppings, but you already know that. Chinchillas do this too. And it's more than understandable why cats don't do that. But dogs? It doesn't matter how disgusting crap is, the grosser, the more they might like it. I've heard of dogs turning around and eating their own poop - not only that, but going around eating that of other animals too. Eww! What could possibly be more disgusting? Combine that with dogs' sloppy eating and it makes me go around the bend.

Having said that, I'm willing to bet that there are people out there who are this way over some characteristics of rabbits too.

KIRSTY: They do a little tiny inoffensive poo, that looks like a Malteser and then they neatly hoover it up themselves.

Ocean Elf: Ugh! *Grimace* I was going to order some Maltesers on amazon. Only now - well... Now I'm not so sure. I mean you actually just said that!? *Twitch*

Kirsty: They are very pernickety about their personal hygiene in general.

Ocean Elf: So are cats.

Kirsty: They choose for themselves a designated toilet area, which will be the only place they do their business, and they keep the rest of their area tidy.

Ocean Elf: That depends on the rabbit and their environment. Chinchillas will do that too, within their cage, but they poop constantly during high activity, so really can't help crapping everywhere. Peeing, they do in a litter pan.

A house-broken cat will also do their business where they're supposed to, in the litter box.

But cats shed, so do rabbits, dogs, ferrets, chinchillas, and guinea pigs. I think the animal would have to be as small as a hamster for shedding to not be noticeable. Dogs will leave their chew toys all over, and rabbits, ferrets, chinchillas and possibly guinea pigs will kick stuff out of their cages during high energy play. Hay is messy stuff, and even if you have a "house bunny" which is a rabbit living loose in your house, hay will get everywhere.

KIRSTY: I think their bad rep comes from people thinking they are boring.

Ocean Elf: Some people think the same about cats, too. And rodents, fish, even birds. But you have a point, there are people who pretty much have no interest in animals that aren't as demanding and in-your-face as dogs generally are.

Kirsty: Rabbits are far from boring, in fact rabbits are very playful. If you give a rabbit a towel it will entertain you, and itself, for hours by digging it up into a big bunch and then smoooooothing it out again, burrowing underneath it, picking it up and throwing it around.

Ocean Elf: Which is actually a great idea but for the potential for big mess if you let the rabbit play with the towel that way in its cage. There would be great potential for the towel to flop into the litter pan or into the food and hay, and pick up stuff from that.Then as it gets thrown around more, not only the cage gets less tidy, but so does the area around the cage.

So I think that would be a good activity for out of cage time, with supervision.

KIRSTY: Give them a nice big garden to play in and they will barrel around doing leaps and jumps, and generally have a fantastic time of it.

Ocean Elf: Yeah. It's fun watching puppies fly around outdoors too. Heck, watching any animal at play is entertaining. They all do, especially when young.

Kirsty: In spring they go particularly loopy, from the sheer joy of it all.

Ocean Elf: Uh, I think that's known as spring fever.

Kirsty: I'm feeling particularly bunny-broody at the moment because I live in a first floor town house in the middle of London, and so obviously can't keep a pet, let alone a garden-loving rabbit.

Ocean Elf: *Sympathetic look* You don't have to have a garden to own a pet rabbit, particularly a smaller breed, but if you couldn't get an apartment that allows pets, that sucks.

Kirsty: My own darling bunny, a cashmere-lop-earred-Netherland-dwarf-cross called Merlin, died two years ago. He lived in my parent's garden to the remarkable old age of 14 (practically Gandalf in rabbit years) and was, in the vet's own words, “the happiest rabbit he'd ever seen”.

Ocean Elf: You were very lucky to have him for that long.

KIRSTY: We had other rabbits too, but Merlin was my own particular pet. He had free reign in the garden during the day, and when I went out to see him he would race towards me and run round and round and round my feet in circles, for ages. He only did it for me.

Ocean Elf: Like I said, you lucked out.

KIRSTY: When I brought him into the house, he would try and sneak up the stairs where he wasn't allowed, and when we called him back he always came hopping sheepishly down, stop at the step where I would be waiting, push his nose on mine apologetically, and carry on back to the living room. If I was reading a book he would get irritated at me for not giving him any attention, grab the book with his teeth and throw it across the room. He did all these things, and so many more, and I miss him all the time.

Ocean Elf: My first rabbit had character similar. He followed me around when loose, and knew when he could be allowed loose and when not.

My current rabbit is similarly intelligent.

KIRSTY: Of course rabbits aren't boring. The worst thing you could do with any pet would be leave it in a tiny hutch all day on its own, and rabbits are no exception to this.

Ocean Elf: Well, naturally anything is going to require space, but whether or not a rabbit wants company pretty much depends on the rabbit. I think most do, certainly the ones raised and bred to be pets. If you love a rabbit and give it lots of hands on, it is likely to love you right back. Though there are going to be exceptions, of course. And in my observations of animals from various places, rabbits are generally the friendliest animal besides dogs and cats. They're not shy or skittish like most rodents, and they are much softer than hedgehogs or even ferrets.

But there are always some loners among any species, including our own.

And if you can't interact quite the way you might like, or for as long as you'd like, as long as the animal has adequate space, and toys to play with when you're not there, they should be fine.

Kirsty: They like the company of other rabbits and of people. They like fresh air, grass to nibble, a chance to chew and dig, and space to run around in. If you locked up anyone or anything like this they would be miserable, and so it can hardly be a wonder that rabbits left like this are too.

Ocean Elf: Yes, but you're talking about people who expect rabbits to behave like dogs, and then lose interest when they don't. So if the issue is more you think you can't have a rabbit now because you haven't got a garden, and not some rule against keeping pets in your apartment, then that's your problem for being too judgmental about people who own rabbits without keeping gardens too. *Suspicions rising, warning bells, animal welfare/rights alert*

KIRSTY: It's heartbreaking to read news reports of mistreated animals,

Ocean Elf: *Facepalm and gets gold star off shelf to put with humungous collection* that's all the media is ever interested in, spouting animal welfare/rights propaganda. It's a horribly skewed ideology that paints pet owners as 'irresponsible' by default. They never want to report anything good about human and animal relationships unless there is some way they can put a pro-animal rights spin on it...

Try weaning yourself off the animal "rescue" propaganda, stop judging people you don't even know as "mistreating" based on shoddy reporting, scale down your expectations a bit, and you might actually get some of that former happiness back again if you allow yourself to get a rabbit or two to live with you in your apartment, even without a garden.

Otherwise, pardon me if my heart doesn't bleed for you.

You almost had me there for a little while, and then you got on this all too typical sanctimonious drip spewed forth by animal "rescue" types and bad news programs everywhere.

Kirsty: and hearing about rabbits being locked up and left alone is all kinds of horrible too.

Ocean Elf: You know what else is horrible? All the lies animal welfarist pet cops tell about other pet owners just to make themselves feel heroic. "Look at me! I CARE SOOOOOOOO MUCH! Look at that person, what a wicked wicked person, mistreating/locking that poor innocent animal up! Boo-hoo!"

I've seen that kind of crap spoil pet communities and destroy the reputations of people who actually "weren't guilty of any real animal abuse, and I'm sick of it up to here and beyond!

Kirsty: Obviously, the RSPCA have absolutely fantastic advice on looking after your bunny.

Ocean Elf: Oh my freaking gosh. Another useful idiot for the animal rights/welfare misanthropy agenda.

Yeah, you totally lost any sympathy I ever begun to have for you over missing your rabbit. Those organizations would be the end of pets of any kind one day if everyone followed their rules. No more pet shops, no more breeders, no more breeding of pets period, speuter speuter speuter until one day, oops, the last pet rabbit dies, and the rest of the rabbits are in the wild, and it is illegal to have anything to do with them, including hunting them for food. Not to mention the raising of rabbits or anything else for meat would be outlawed by then, and everyone would be forced to subsist on a vegan diet.

That's the garden path the animal welfarist/rights agenda is meant to lead you down.

These organizations want to get us thinking animals are little fur people. that's why they push this whole "adopt" from a "shelter" thing. And they also get to decide if you're a good enough home for any of their animals. You don't get to decide that, they do. They call that "screening" It's animal cops and it's just as bad as book-burning or any other sort of extremism.

A rabbit breeder would have good advice on keeping rabbits... And if they aren't already indoctrinated into this aw poisonous mindset, they won't treat potential pet owners like second class citizens that need to be "screened" and judged as fit or unfit to own an animal.

Kirsty: Rabbits are underrated pets and I've just never understood why.

Ocean Elf: Because they aren't for everyone. No pet is. The only reason dogs and cats are made such a fuss of is because they are two of the most common pets. But I'm pretty sure rabbits come in a close third.

Actually, they do come in third on WatchMojo.com's Youtube video about the top ten animals that make great pets. Rabbits come in at number one on their top ten cutest animals list.

Kirsty: They're wonderfully affectionate.

Ocean Elf: Yes, some of them are. So are some cats. I had a rabbit that probably couldn't get any more affectionate, and my current bunny is the same way. My sister's cat was the biggest cuddler as well.

Kirsty: Merlin liked nothing better than to be cuddled for hours on end.

Ocean Elf: Ditto for my rabbits and my sister's cat.

Kirsty: He would occasionally get impatient and run off to hide under the settee, or climb on some flower pots, but he would always come running back for a cuddle sooner or later.

Ocean Elf: My first rabbit never got impatient. He was so well socialized, along with our Maltese terrier that the two of them sometimes snuggled together on the same chair.

My sister's cat also never got impatient. She could never get too much cuddling.

My current rabbit is the same.

KIRSTY: My lovely little Merlin. He had been my pet for half my life when he died, and I still find it baffling and sad that he's not around any more. The day he died I cried and cried and couldn't stop crying, and though I do still miss the little bundle of fluff I have so many lovely memories of all the funny little things he used to do. And I will never stop telling people all the different ways that bunnies make the best – the very best – pets.

Ocean Elf: But you will never convince everyone. Not that they aren't the best pet for you. But they aren't for everyone. People are allergic. People can't cope with the shedding or hay mess. People can't handle the smell of the waste. People just don't like the way rabbits look. People just don't like the way they interact because they prefer something else like a dog or ferret. People haven't got the time and can't afford the expense. Hard as it might be to understand, some people are a little phobic and something about rabbits just creeps them out. Some people just aren't pet lovers at all. There are all kinds of reasons a rabbit or any kind of animal is not the be-all and end-all best for everyone, and unless you are prepared to embrace the idea that everyone should have the right to own a rabbit without having the heck screened out of them by the RSPCA, then who the hex are you to tell us what the best pet is?

KIRSTY: So, over to you – tell me about your bunnies and why they are the best, or tell me I'm completely wrong about cats and all the ways that they do love you really *cynical face*.

Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Okay.

My first rabbit VS. my sister's cat.

Came when called?

Rabbit: sometimes. Cat: all the time.

Sat in my lap or lay on my chest for ages?

Rabbit: Yes.

Cat: Yes.

Licked?

Rabbit: All the time.

Cat: Sometimes.

Followed me around?

Rabbit: Yes.

Cat: Yes.

Got excited and greeted me whenever I came in the door/up to the cage/etc?

Rabbit: Yes.

Cat: Yes.

Was friendly toward other people but seemed to prefer me?

Rabbit: Yes.

Cat: Yes.

Rebuffed me ever?

Rabbit: No.

Cat: No.

Growled like a dog when some stranger came in as if protecting the property?

Rabbit: No.

Cat: Yes.

Stole or tried to steal food from me or another human?

rabbit: Yes.

Cat: Yes.

Sniffed me curiously all over when I'd been in contact with other animals?

Rabbit: Yes.

Cat: No. (Only because I didn't live with my sister. she moved out and took the cat with her after a year of the cat being at my house.

Over and out.

-- Never Compare My Child To Your Pets Good Rant