Chain Letters: The Bane Of My Existence

By Lisa


Originally from this link which, like other Myspace links is probably not working any more.

Posted here with edits to replace the bright screaming red lingo that appeared with increasing fury on the original page. Though written in the days of email chain letters, this applies to social network meme spam, and any other form/platform memes invade.

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Thursday, August 02, 2007

Chain Emails: The Bane Of My Existence

🗯Okay. I just have to know what the frigging fascination is with forwarding chain emails?! I have received every kind of chain email known to man and/or woman and all I can say to those who send them to me is......STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean really, People! Get a frigging life! Do you honestly think that your friends don't really care about you if they don't forward your email or repost a social network meme to 10 other people and send it back to you? Do you really think that something horrible will happen to you at midnight if you don't annoy the living crap out of everyone you know by forwarding it to them or reposting it to their social networks?! And what kind of friend does that make you if you would repost something that is going to curse their life if they don't have time to annoy the living crap out of everyone they know in their email address book or their contacts?

Furthermore, I don't give a crap who told you that Bill Gates was going to track an email forward or social network meme and pay you some insane amount of money for the number of people you send it to. Whoever sent you that is so full of crap I'm amazed they didn't break their freaking computer chair just sitting in it long enough to send you that bullcrap! Think about it...no matter how much money he has he'd be freaking bankrupt in an hour if he paid everyone that re-shared that garbage!

I have caught myself from time to time sharing this insane garbage mostly because I didn't want to hurt the feelings of whoever sent it to me in the first place. But NO MORE, People! You hear me?! I'm screaming loud and clear: NO MORE CHAIN EMAILS!!!!!!

Contrary to what is obviously popular belief, Billy Joe Jim Bob in Futtfreak Fields, AR did NOT win the lottery 6 hours after he spread a chain letter. Mary Jo freaktard from Imadumbell, AL did NOT find the love of her life 2 hours after spreading a freaking meme. And Tiny Timmy shartforbrains from Uradipstick, MS did not get hit by a freaking train because he failed to re-share a chain email/social network meme!!!!

Cease and desist, People! Cease and desist or I will send that mysterious chain email phantom to your house to send black cats across your path all day, force you to spill salt everytime you touch a salt shaker, cause you to break mirrors everytime you pick one up, push you and make you step on every single crack in the sidewalk, turn every Friday on your calendar into Friday the 13th, block your breath and make you miss blowing out 1 candle every year on your birthday cake, force you to open umbrellas in your house and remove every single stitch of wood from your house so you can't knock on it!!!! And for good measure and just out of total malice I'll have him shart in the back of your toilet tank, whizz in your morning bowl of Cheerio's and fart on your pillows!!!

Now..........If you email a copy of this blog to:

1-5 people: You will have annoyed the shart out of 1-5 people!

6-10 people: You will have aggrevated the whizz out of 6-10 people.

11+ people: You have entirely too much time on your hands and need to step the freak away from your computer!!!

Now, have a nice freaking day.

4:27 AM


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