Cleo the Killer

Found on Troll Pasta.

Cleo... Cleo... Ugh! That name. It's overused in fantasy/fiction, and it's a cringey popular name given to cats. It is not a name people seem to actually have, at least, I've run into all sorts of unique names, but never met a real person named Cleo. I'd have a lot more respect for this name if I had, provided that person was likeable.

So I have to wonder - why Cleo and a number of way overused names are so freaking popular in fiction/rpg.

Add "The Killer" to it and you have a really bad start.

I am not going to like this character.


🤥CP: It was a bright and sunny day and Cleo was walking to school.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Blah.

🤥CP: She had no friends

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, again with the no friends, totally bullied, like everybody totally hates her - for no reason thing. Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. Please. Give me a break.

🤥CP: and mostly stayed alone.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No way! Like I totally didn't realize that if you have no friends, you would mostly stay alone! And here all this time I had thought you'd be hanging around with a bunch of other people!

Oh, really!

Redundancy 101.

Of course when somebody has no friends, they're going to be always, not just mostly alone! Duh!

🤥CP: As she walked into the school yard she entered the building expecting someone to punch her AGAIN!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh and facepalm* Because she gots no friends and is always alone unless the typical cliche bullies decide they want their favourite human punching bag yet again. *Rolling eyes*

This stupid bullied thing is so stale it's rancid.

🤥CP: Instead they where all talking about this kid named Jeff who's brother Liu had gone to jail for a year.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. Liu was detained for maybe a week, not a year.

🤥CP: I walked to my locker,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wait a minute. Just who are you? You talked about Cleo in third person, so that means you can't be her. Or else you're just very confused.

🤥CP: it was right next to Jeff

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Because you're such a Jeff Sue that you just had to make sure your locker was right by his. Excuse me for not being impressed. But you might want to watch out for a girl called "Jess" if ever there was anyone gone totally nuts over Jeff, it is her.

🤥CP: when I looked at him he had longer hair and roles under his eyes

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: ROFLOL! Roles? He had 'roles' under his eyes? As in starring roles, or minor character roles? Oh, I'm sure he had a ton of Mary Sue character roles under his eyes! More specifically, trying to catch his eyes.

If you were going for the other 'roll' that would still be stupid. People can have round faces with double chins, but I've never heard of a fat face that was so fat that it had rolls under the eyes.

🤥CP: and he looked really depressed.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course he did, Because he's an annoying angsty Gary Stu.

🤥CP: I didn't say anything.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Why should I care?

🤥CP: He looked at me and I looked away shyly.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, because all annoying Mary Sues are 'shy' it's the in thing to be, you know... Even when they are not really shy. Gotta make sure to tell readers like me beforehand so we might just think shy instead of what you really are, longing for attention from the worst kind of character, and sympathy from readers like me.

🤥CP: All of a sudden these kids Ryan, Adam and Zack popped in front of me

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Just like that. Pop pop pop! Is there a giant toaster beneath your lockers that these kids just popped out of or something?

🤥CP: and pushed me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Because you want so badly to be bullied and pitied even more than your Gary Stu crush, Jeff. No sympathy here.

🤥CP: At this point I just went bull freaking J**** crazy on them.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And you really made me go sour on you. *Scowl* It was not necessary to toss the name 'Jesus' in there, not at all!

But of course, you'd go crazy. Because that's what so many Jeff Mary Sues do, go from 'shy' to cray cray in a blink of an eye, especially when around Jeff. *Sneer*

🤥CP: I punched them kicked them slapped then kicked one in the balls.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Glare* That was TMI. I'm not amused or impressed by the whole overdone sexual molestation toward guys by kicking them there! Enough! I'm so sick of that double standard! If this was a girl you hit in the chest, the same people laughing at the balls thing would be outraged. I find both reprehensible, nothing to brag about.

🤥CP: I got detention.Yep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You deserve it, and more. I would've given you a suspension.Yep.

🤥CP: After a few days I finally talked to Jeff

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And readers are supposed to be wowed by that? Think again. *Rolling eyes*

🤥CP: I said: "Um...hi I'm Cl...Cleo I'm sorry about your bro".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so you are Cleo? Why did you start this in third person, then?

Cleo: "It's okay you didn't do anything don't be sorry oh and I'm Jeff."

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So you just said you were sorry about his brother, which means you must know who he is, and yet this dumb dunce still feels the need to introduce himself? Not only is he a few bricks short of a load, but he really thinks he's something.

Well, he is.

Jeff is something rotten!

Cleo: Few days later Jeff went crazy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually the whole thing happened within about a week. So considering Jeff had only just moved to your neighbourhood it makes no sense that you'd know anything about him let alone what had gone on with his brother. This bit about your locker being next to his, well, stalker Cleo...

Cleo: He went to the hospital cause a kid caught him on fire.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That kid's name is Keith. If you were around that neighbourhood with no friends, getting punched and pushed all the time by the school bullies, you'd know their names. Everybody in that school to be bullied by these freaks would know them as Randy the ringleader and his two schleps Keith and Troy.

Cleo: He killed his parents and brother after he got out of JDC.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. He killed his parents, but not Liu. The story left that open, but you Jeff fangirls are so stuck on him succeeding at making kills that you just happily assume he killed Liu.

What happened was Liu stuck around to help him avoid the police and hide evidence with every other crime Jeff committed. It's all here.

Cleo: After a month I snapped.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull. You saw your crush use the cray cray excuse and you planned to go crazy just like him. *Rolling eyes* You probably hacked up your own face and killed your parents too, just for the heck of it so you could be exactly like Jeffrey... *Scowl*

Cleo: Ryan, Adam and Zack came up and made fun of me hurt me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So where are Randy, Keith, and Troy? since when did they get replaced as top bully dogs by Ryan, Adam and Zack? Okay, Randy should be having a NDE, Keith should be as well, since they were tortured by Jeffrey and Jess The Killer. But that still leaves Troy.

Cleo: So I grabbed my pocket knife

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which you had no business taking to school of all places. *Scowl* But all of you knife-addicts are like that. You just can't stand to be without your soothers - uh - knives - for one nanosecond of your pathetic excuse of a life.

Cleo: and carved ones eyes out,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh sure, and they just stood around and let you? Oh, right, everybody's got Sadist Slow-mo Syndrome wherever the top bullies are in your town... That's why nobody can defend themselves against bullies/muggers/killers, and it's all contingent on who can deliver the most pain. *Glare*

Cleo: stabbed the other and ran off and left Ryan there bleeding while the others lie motionless.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because you're as cowardly as everyone else, including Jeffrey...

Cleo: I cut out my eyes

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, wow, Jeffrey merely burned off his eyelids. You? *YOU* gotta out-do him and actually cut out your own eyes. *Sneer* Masochistic, stupid, and now blind freak...

Cleo: and my mom came in while I was crying.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Crying with no tears. Just blood all over the place. Yeah, you could still cry without producing tears, your lungs would still be going through the motions. But you did this to yourself, because your head is so polluted with Jeff madness. So it's your own fault you're crying and blind, and bleeding all over the place. No sympathy from me. Only revulsion.

Cleo: "Sweetie what are you...HUH?" she said Cowardly while I was holding two knifes up to her

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Withering glare* You dare to call her cowardly after what you've done and what she sees as a result? No, Cleo, *YOU* are the coward! What she ought to do is call 911 pronto!

And first you had your stupid pocket knife. Now all of a sudden you have two knives. What the heck? You either smuggled two into school, or stole the second from some other knife fiend, or maybe you could just magically produce them the same way normal people produce tears, sweat, snot, poop, you get the idea....

Cleo: "Sweetie, your eyes!".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's hardly what she'd be saying at this point. It should be more like "OMG!" as she runs for a phone.

Cleo: "I can hear, and smell and feel people through the ground and air" I said to her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're wrong. You can't sense things that well. Not through the agony of having your eyes cut out, you couldn't. A blind person still has to be reasonably comfortable to be able to register direction of sound and vibrations coming from things and people moving around her. Not in screaming agony. And that ability isn't something you just suddenly get, nor is it a super sense. It's something a blind person learns to do. But you only just cut out your eyes, so you'd still be an utterly bumbling idiot, Cleo, just as if someone put a blindfold on you for the first time and expected you to navigate your world. Even in a familiar setting, you'd be lost. Even so, blinding yourself hasn't fazed you much if you can issue an intimidation toward your own mother, who, I will assume, has not abused you...

Cleo:"S...Sweetie please p...put the knifes down and we can sort this o...out" she said with her voice shaking.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: She should have called emergency by now. But I'm sure you'd rather fantasize about her pleading with you. *Scowl* Power-hungry freak. You make me want to take a ratchet to your head.

Cleo: "No mom, go get dad and WE CAN SETTLE THIS!" I yelled.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "Shut your stupid trap!" I yelled back at Cleo, the disgusting twisted brat.

Cleo: "Alright sweetie I will go get h...him" she said voice trembling in fear.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: She should then go to call emergency instead, then go tell her husband to steer clear of the likes of you!

Cleo: She ran to the bedroom.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And you know this, how? Don't tell me it's because you're blind and you have super senses. That's bull.

Cleo: I slowly crept up the hall

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Like all other slow pokes, you're trying to be scary, but I'm calling it for what it is. In your case, it's because you are infirmed ... By your own bloody hand - your own bloody STUPID hand!

Cleo: hearing what my mother was saying.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: and you were just tickled that you had her scared out of her wits...

Cleo: "Sweetie get the gun and call the police!" she said

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, well done, Cleo, you just ripped off one of the stupid parent moments of the most notorious Jeff story. Way to demonstrate how you haven't an original idea in your head. All but for this stupid "sweetie" business, oh please! Does she just say that before saying anything else to come out of her mouth? Gah!

Cleo: as she saw me appear in the door way.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, Cleo. You're blind. so you can't know if she sees you unless she tells you she is seeing you... You're just like Lavender Chelsey with this whole "I'm blind but I still see everything going on around me" bit. It's bull, and irritating as all heck!

Cleo: "You lied just...like...Jeff's parents." I said

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Cleo, Cleo, Cleo... You are so full of it. If Jeff just moved here and all of that stuff happened, and you don't even know that the bullies were Randy, Keith and Troy, not Ryan, Adam and Zack - and if you were not present at Jeff's residence when Jeff went all bonkers over his mom's panicking, you would not have a clue about what went on there unless it was simply by reading Jeff's dumb story, as I'm reading and mangling yours now.

You're willing to cut yourself up and kill your parents, who didn't abuse you, nor did they lie to you. all because you want to be a Jeff girl so freaking badly! You're disgusting! *Ticked off glare*

Cleo: grabbing hold of both parents.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As if you could. You without your eye sight, still holding your two knives, in each hand, while your parents, with their eyesight, scared, retreating to defend themselves. come on, Cleo, they are not going to just sit there and let you stab them like inanimate objects...

Cleo: As my dad shot up the last thing they heard was: "FEEL THE PAIN LIKE I DID".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* How noble and loving of you... NOT! You act as if you're the only one who ever felt pain and you blame your own parents, who weren't even the cause of it. Your pain, such as it is, your fault, Cleo!

Cleo: I said goodnight as I drew on the wall.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not impressed by your multitasking, nor do I believe you can draw when you are newly blinded. Liar, Cleo.

Cleo: On the wall it says "FEEL THE PAIN!"

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You already bellowed out that phrase like the deranged idiot you are. There was no need to mark up the wall with it as well. You never even specified what you drew on the wall with. am I to assume you can just produce sharpies out of your eye sockets now too?

Cleo: And I smiled and crawled out the window and disappeared into the woods.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Where you would be in for a very nasty reception.

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