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The Return Of Jeff The Killer

The last part of this pasta is a letter from Jeff to the general public. The first two parts are actually different lead-ins to the letter. One is a journal, from some anonymous person, which I decided is probably the girl Jeff killed that the detective in the second part refers to.

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🤥CP: Jeff is Back

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Okay, another manglinging coming up!

👧Girl: 8:45

9:06

9:58

10:14

11:01

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Those are supposed to be timestamps for all the following journal entries, I think.

👧Girl: 8:45

Right now, I'm researching him to see if he's real,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: He is not real...

👧Girl: but noone knows for sure.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, they do know for sure - that Jeff The Killer is not real...

👧Girl: As far as I know, he carved a smile into his face and burned out his eyelids,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Anybody familiar with the 2011 Jeff The Killer cruddypasta story knows that.

👧Girl: and he has a surreal backstory.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Surreal? Try stupid.

👧Girl: He had the crap beat out of him, was bleached and burned, and horrible things like that.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Anybody who knows the 2011 Jeff story knows about that.

👧Girl: I'm seriously freaked out, I'm just gonna call my friend for a second I'll get back later.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh get a grip.

👧Girl: 9:06

I recently called my friend, he said that he's fake and he knows the guy who wrote the story,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So what's this friend's friend's name? I know about the first video story from the Sesseur, but you and your friend could at least say who was behind the more popular story about Jeff and Randy etc.

👧Girl: the strange thing is that I'm hearing strange groaning noises comming from outside. I'm gonna go see what it is, get back later.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wind. People. Vehicles. Machinery. Anything can make noises outside that could pass for groaning from inside the house.

👧Girl: 9:58

I'm back but I couldn't see what was out there, but I could see a shadow moving swiftly across the grass, now I'm scared out of my mind.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, really, pull yourself together. Things moving across the grass could be birds, cats, squirrels, children.

👧Girl: I have my metal bat in my hand- and I'm just waiting for something to burst through the door.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* You're not scaring me.

👧Girl: I'm starting to see a face through the window, I'm trying not to look at it so I don't faint from fright.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If you're so scared, what are you doing writing all this down when you could be taking measures to make yourself feel safer? Go lock yourself in your room or something.

👧Girl: WHAT? I just heard something whisper "Go To Sleep"- now I'm getting SCARED.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Your imagination is running away with you.

👧Girl: 10:14

The thing in the window just disapeared, I heard a loud bang coming from upstairs, there is no way I'm going up there.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As if Jeff can get into an upper window. He's not Super Man. And he is not a kangaroo or some kind of bird.

👧Girl: I'm starting to hear footsteps on the stairs, I'm gonna go get a phone incase I need to dial 911.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* If you're this spooked, get off your computer.

👧Girl: Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap. Someone's in the kitchen, I'm not writing this on my desk, I'm now hiding under the kitchen table, while writing this.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're an idiot. You're not scaring me. If you were really this freaked, you wouldn't be writing it all down. You'd be taking measures to ward off the perceived threat.

👧Girl: 11:01

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So, a big chunk of time from 10:14 to 11:01. Did you slow up just like all the bungling adults in the Jeff story or something?

👧Girl: The thing is now right next to the table. I'm gonna stop typing this so IT doesn't hear me.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm pretty sure your typing isn't overheard. Especially if you're using a device with a touchscreen. But if you really were as scared as all that - do I really need to spell that all out again?

👧Girl: The thing didn't hear me, and left, but he's still somewhere in the house.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So why don't you call 911, you twit?

👧Girl: I'm now dialing 911, the phone lost connection. He sees me... oh cra-

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*

🤥CP: The following story was written by a detective whom, after analyzing video evidence, witness accounts, and the video claimed to have been watched, developed a story. This is that story.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: A fictional detective who slogged through Jeff The Killer gaming videos and fictitious accounts to continue a lame Creepy Pasta story. Got it.

🕵Detective: It was late at night on a typical Tuesday evening. I was surfing the internet as I had two large coffees from my local coffee shop earlier that day and was unable to sleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Don't give me the cliche "Caffeine's got me up and jumping" thing. People can have more than two cups of coffee in a day and it doesn't necessarily make them sleepless. It would've made things a bit more interesting if you had a better excuse for not sleeping, various concerns on your mind, maybe just not being able to unwind after work, but - coffee? Really?

🕵Detective: After watching pointless YouTube video after YouTube video,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of which are countless Jeff game videos…

🕵Detective: I came across a strange title in the related videos bar. None of the characters were of the English language; however, the shapes of the characters seemed to resemble words, although I couldn’t quite decipher them. Curious, I clicked on the video.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Funny, if I came across a video like that, being unable to read the language the title was in, that would kill my curiosity and I would just move on past it.

🕵Detective: I suddenly began to hear various creaks and groans coming from my house.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That happens here too, but it's the pipes, the heating, that sort of thing. Youtube just doesn't cause those noises all over my house.

🕵Detective: I whirled around and grabbed a nearby baseball bat, ready for a fatal battle. To my surprise, there were no intruders in the house, nor any signs of a forced entry. All the doors were also locked. Figuring I was just going crazy, I shrugged my shoulders and lazily walked back to my room.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I thought you were going to blame it on the coffee again.

🕵Detective: I had spent a lot of money on a high bandwidth connection, so I was perplexed that the video I had clicked on had not loaded yet. I impatiently clicked the video four more times in an attempt to bring it up. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the page finally loaded.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, because in creepy pastas, videos always stall or refuse to load, or when they do load, they always look inexplicably weird to make the readers creep out. *Rolling eyes*

🕵Detective: The background was black and it completely hid all of the text, except for the username of the uploader and the description, both in crimson red.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because Youtube always has special scary looking colours for people who want to make their channels look freaky. Not.

🕵Detective: The username of the uploader was “NightmareSLUMBER”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There is no such user/channel on Youtube. I checked.

🕵Detective: and the description read as such:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: More bogus dreck coming right up.

💩Jeff: How ignorant of you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: How rude of you. Excuse you…

💩Jeff: You are unaware of my demonic presence in your life.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You are unaware of your lack of power and your over-sized ego.

💩Jeff: I will destroy everything you stand for.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I do not stand for the likes of you and by the time I'm done destroying you, you will not be left standing.

💩Jeff: Worthless coward.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You just described yourself perfectly! Bang, right on the head!

💩Jeff: I am always watching you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ya think? Maybe you better watch your back.

💩Jeff: And soon you will come to live with me…

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You wouldn't want to live with me. Your place, my place, it doesn't much matter. I won't make things easy for you.

💩Jeff: Forever…

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, boy, people toss that word around way too much, like it's nothing. You wouldn't last a day with me.

🕵Detective: Figuring this was simply the idiocy of a twelve year old,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You'd be right - even if this moron was physically older, he is mentally and emotionally stunted.

🕵Detective: I did not heed the danger I was in.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Like, the danger of having one's IQ drop as a result of exposure to this stupidity. Yeah, you're not scaring me.

🕵Detective: The video began with a picture of an abandoned mental asylum (Later found out to be Denbigh asylum).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because so many supposedly spooky stories incorporate the loony bin in them somewhere… And this one is probably where Jeff was locked up and eventually escaped from or some such cliche thing.

🕵Detective: The picture was a long, dark, and tattered corridor extending past the viewer’s visual field. The left wall of the corridor had windows separated by columns. The corridor was bathed in an eerie moonlight, only broken by the shadows of the columns. The darkness of the corridor was a pure black, the likes of which I had never seen. I got the vibe that the asylum was hastily abandoned and never cleaned up.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Let me guess. Jeff started some kind of panic there. I'd say maybe a fire, but that depends on if you go on to describe it as being burned out. And this proverbial supposedly unusually dark blackness has shown up in so many stories that it's already faded, losing a good deal of its dark colour.

🕵Detective: For the first minute of the video, it was simply a still frame of the corridor.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Just like so many other creepy pasta videos - there's always long segments of nothing or just the same thing going on for ages… *Yawn*

🕵Detective: There was no sound nor movement.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Of course there wasn't… Boring. Unoriginal.

🕵Detective: At approximately 1:13 of the video,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because you were just sitting there tracking the time of the boring until something actually happened. Someone like me would've just said "To heck with this waste of bandwidth" and moved on to watch something interesting.

🕵Detective: I noticed a slow but definite movement at the very end of the corridor. The had a human stance but walked very unusually, most noticeably with it’s head pointed straight at the ground. The creature accelerated steadily as the video progressed, eventually breaking into a full run. The creature ran head first into the camera, knocking it over. Simultaneously, I heard a very loud bang at the door. There was only one, and it sounded like someone had just run into the door.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, if that had happened at the very beginning of the video, at least there wouldn't have been so much boring waste of footage/bandwidth. Now all that needs to be determined if this weird creature is Jeff or some other nimrod.

🕵Detective: I jumped up and grabbed the bat again, when I heard my computer make an error sound. The computer then bluescreened at that point, saying it shut down for safety reasons. The screen then proceeded to make note of the fact that an unknown hacker had been obtaining information about my whereabouts. My antivirus program ran a trace of the hacker’s IP address, and came back with a city in Northern Wales; specifically, the hack had been made from an abandoned mental asylum.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: All from looking at a nonexistent Youtube video. Not buying it. Antivirus programs aren't meant to trace hacks, they're designed to get rid of viruses. If a mental institution is abandoned, there aren't going to be hackers setting up a base there. Much less by some absolutely convoluted coincidence, singling you out for clicking a nonexistent Youtube video. Even if there was such a video, seriously, what are the odds? You're not scaring me.

🕵Detective: Then the power went out.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh of course, gotta have that power outage to really kickstart the supposed scary action into high gear… *Rolling eyes* Overused plot device yet again.

🕵Detective: At this point, I became extremely intimidated. My eyes welled up with water as my breathing accelerated.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If you really were that panicked, you wouldn't take note of it. You're self-analyzing way too much, trying to get the reader to feel panicky. It isn't working.

🕵Detective: I began to hear someone groaning in pain outside the door. I knew it was a mistake to go look, but I decided to anyway. When I glanced through the peephole, there was nobody outside the door. I could still hear the groaning though. No way in hell was I opening that door.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So call 911, you have a cell phone don't you? Power outage wouldn't effect that. Come to think of it, this whole thing could still be that wonky video, just showing everything you described up to now. If you're using a laptop on battery power, it wouldn't be effected either. There. Possible weird sounds explained one way.

🕵Detective: I flew into a panic attack and immediately attempted to contact police; however, I simply got a busy tone on both the landline and my cell phone.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Highly unlikely. Either you misdialed twice or something's gone bonkers with the phone lines. Whatever, I'm pretty sure Youtube didn't cause it.

🕵Detective: I ran back up to my computer to see if I could hook it up to a generator to ask for help that way, when I noticed that the computer screen was still on. In giant red text upon a black screen, it read, “GO TO SLEEP”.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes, scornful expression* I already said that sort of vid would be a dumb stunt from a mental midget. And that would be Jeff.

🕵Detective: A piercing scream then rang out. It sounded like someone was dying. I raced to the kitchen and drew two knives out of a drawer. This was real. This was actually happening. The screams got louder and more desperate. Under the screams, I began to hear a faint but distinct hysterical laughter.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Are you sure it's not coming from your speakers?

🕵Detective: I ran about the house trying to figure out what was going on. I then heard a sobbing coming from a closet near my computer room. My skin ran cold as I grasped the doorknob. It was cold to the touch. I should have said something before opening the door, but I didn’t have the common sense to do so. I whipped the door open to see a young girl, dead and bloody, crumpled in a heap in my closet.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* So, while Jeff got you in a panic, he managed to kill this girl and play with your computer all in short order.

🕵Detective: Her stomach had been ripped open and her entrails pulled out.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ewwww! *Glower* That Jeff is really gonna catch it!

🕵Detective: She was entirely naked and coated completely in blood.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Continues glowering* Jeff is REALLY gonna get it in the neck!

🕵Detective: The wall suddenly was illuminated with a red light.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Red text, red light, everything's always red, red, red with this loser.

🕵Detective: I noticed that something was written in blood on the wall.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Let me guess. "Go to sleep" again.

🕵Detective: “You should have heeded the warning. Time to go to sleep.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And you better heed my warning and get out of my way, Jeff… Or else!

🕵Detective: I whirled around and saw the figure in the video, head down and everything. I froze in fear. With one sudden movement, almost as if I was watching a video that had skipped a few frames, the figure twisted it’s head and looked at me. Then everything went black.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So now Jeff has traded his stupid looking right at people with his dumb cut-out smile to having his head point down, wow. attention-seeking twit.

But if you were knocked out cold, how would you know? I've heard people who have been around fainters before, and they've said the fainters hadn't known they'd passed out. They don't remember things going black. Now, that might not always be the case, but just saying.

🕵Detective: Detective’s note 1:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And we never even got the detective's name. Very, very unprofessional and sloppy.

🕵Detective: The victim’s body was found in a similar state to that of the young girl in the closet.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hold up! Wait a minute, there were two victims? I thought there was just one. And what of the person who panicked over the video? If they were the second victim, there's no way they could've written this whole story above. Which leaves the detective writing about two victims, one having been killed right in the detective's house, the other we don't know about. I'm confused.

🕵Detective: Despite numerous blood tests, we could not identify the girl. In fact, due to the lack of a missing person’s report, the fact that no one came forward to claim her remains or to try to solve the case of the murder, and because no blood test matched anyone we tested, it seemed like the girl never really existed.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: She and Jeff would have that in common. But remains in the real world always determine that a person existed, even if their identity is unknown.

🕵Detective: We have confirmed that the hacking came from the abandoned mental hospital;

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull. Jeff would've had to had others working in cahoots with him for that to happen, making that institution not so abandoned after all. Besides, he can't hack a computer while at the facility and then somehow beam himself into the hack victim's house at the same time.

🕵Detective: however, there is no explanation as to how this was timed so close together.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's because it's rubbish.

🕵Detective: We have issued an arrest warrant but no officer wants to enter the ruins in fear of his or her life. The only break we got was a witness sighting of an extremely unusual and frightening creature running into the hospital a few days later. From the witness’ testimony, we noticed a shocking similarity between the face of the deranged mental hospital inhabitant and the following image, taken from a site filled with horror stories, with the words “GO TO SLEEP” captioned above it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Three guesses as to which site that would've been. *Scowl* So, I guessed it then. Jeff was caught eventually and sent to the coo-coo shack but escaped. *Rolling eyes* Cliche.

🕵Detective: Numerous murders like this have occurred since, and every single one of the victims has been noted to watch the video a few minutes before the homicide is committed.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nobody ever got killed by a video that actually exists, so there's no way they could get killed by one that doesn't.

🕵Detective: YouTube officials have tried to remove the video;

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: They can't - because it doesn't exist. It never did.

🕵Detective: however, every moderator that tries ends up getting brutally murdered.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Rot. Jeff is a repulsive piece of fictional filth, but he couldn't actually track anybody by their simply clicking a nonexistent Youtube page, let alone kill any real person.

🕵Detective: The case is still unsolved.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No it isn't. anybody who's been exposed to these Killer Jeff thingies knows "Go to sleep" or rather, "Go to slip" as he says it in the game, is his catchphrase.

🕵Detective: Detective’s note 2:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And we still don't know this detective's name.

🕵Detective: After further researching the case, a few discoveries have been made. First, while I have been unable to find the source of the video, last minute accounts of the killer’s victims have provided enough descriptive evidence to point to the image used as the background for the video.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The video and the user don't exist. Any image shown in these stories is from creepypasta.

🕵Detective: Although this is a JPEG image and thus by nature is a still image, rumor has it

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, the power of the rumour. *Rolling eyes* And let me guess. If you look at it, it'll do strange things to you and you'll either be killed or go insane.

🕵Detective: that, if you stare into the picture long enough, the image begins to twist and contort.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull. No still image does that. If it was an animated gif file then it could, but not a jpg.

🕵Detective: Continue staring, and you can see a creature beginning to run towards the camera.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Malarkey. Of course, people can pretend, let their imagination run away with them, and swear they have seen it, but that doesn't make it true.

🕵Detective: No one has watched the image long enough to see the creature come close,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because it isn't possible. You'd be staring at that picture until your natural death and it wouldn't move.

🕵Detective: but enough visual evidence is there to assume that it is the same person seen in the video.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: A photoshop picture with a bogus backstory about a nonexistent video. You're not scaring me.

🕵Detective: The image can be found below. View at your own risk, for your life may be at stake.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Balderdash. If there was such a risk, the picture wouldn't be allowed on the net, much less a site aimed at entertaining kids with campy scare stories. And did I mention that neither videos nor pictures can kill you?

🕵Detective: In addition, I have been searching for more information regarding the killer. To my horror, I have found a set of stories online regarding one “Jeff the Killer”.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: With no surname. Yeah, that's real top notch investigating, there. Not.

🕵Detective: The stories dictate a serial killer who develops his psychopathic tendencies at the onset of his teenage years, eventually killing everybody in his immediate family.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, he managed to kill his parents. The 2011 pasta story was left open for Liu to escape. Liu does more than that, though. In the original story, Liu aids and abets Jeff in his serial kills by hiding him and the evidence from the cops. Info here. And if you rely on chan creepypastas as a source of information, you are one sorry excuse for a detective.

🕵Detective: The most shocking aspect of the story is that Jeff killed his victims in the same brutal way as seen with the Denbigh asylum killer, even going to the extent of both killers communicating “GO TO SLEEP” before murdering their victims. The most frightening aspect, however, is that the image provided for Jeff the Killer is the exact same as the image provided by witnesses for the Denbigh Asylum killer, leading investigators to believe that they are in fact the same person. For further reading, simply search “Jeff the Killer” online and read at your own risk.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Fail. You just asked people to look up a fictional creation of the creepypastas.

The real story of "Denbigh asylum" (proper name is North Wales Hospital) is found here on Wikipedia. The hospital was damaged by fire, but there is no mad killer from there.

So Jeff the killer isn't even based on a real person, but this other fictional killer was made up to provide another layer to this ridiculous backstory.

🕵Detective: The most terrifying fact of all, though,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Is nowhere near factual.

🕵Detective: lies in my personal experience.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: In your head…

🕵Detective: After writing this report, I heard strange sounds throughout my home.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Didn't we already plunge off this cliff?

🕵Detective: Figuring it was nothing,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: of course you did… *Rolling eyes* You panicked the first time, then next time around after you were knocked silly when discovering a murdered girl in your closet, you now decide the noises are nothing?

🕵Detective: I continued doing research on Jeff.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Crawling creepypastas, yeah, some research… *Sneer*

🕵Detective: The banging noises got louder and louder.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so now it's banging. Jeff sure gets bored of pretty much anything except saying "Go to slip."

🕵Detective: I searched outside, thinking maybe a bird was injured.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: C'mon, a bird banging against a window happens very seldom. The way you tell it, sounds like you had many birds flying against your window and that just isn't convincing.

🕵Detective: As I stepped to my door, however, I noticed movement in the window. I immediately attempted to phone police, but got a busy signal.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Again with the freaking busy signal - I'm not buying it. and really, calling the police over a bird?

🕵Detective: Concerned, I put the phone down and looked toward the door, only to see Jeff staring directly at me with those cold, dead eyes

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, please, nobody stares with cold dead eyes until they are dead. Jeff's just angsting out, as usual. He gave you one of his most pathetic looks he could manage and you somehow thought it gave him dead eyes. No. he's got raccoon eyes.

🕵Detective: and that horrific, disfigured face.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Disfigured by his own hand, I might add,.

🕵Detective: His smile was the most eerie thing I have ever seen.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, again with DA SMILE OF DOOOOOOOOOOM! *Rolling eyes* It isn't even a real smile. This absolutely dumb looking carve-up job he did on his own face. Not at all eerie to me. Just boundlessly stupid and sick.

🕵Detective: I immediately pulled out my gun and began shooting. Jeff took off into the night.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, you scared him off. Good. If you had just shot to kill, you would've had a tough time making a case for self defence since all Jeff did was stare at you like an idiot. You didn't even say if he was armed, so I'll assume he wasn't this time. Maybe he thought he could actually kill you and tear you up with his manufactured cut-out smile. What a moron.

🕵Detective: I know I am in danger, so I have set up constant surveillance around my home to protect myself. I still see bright flashes of light and hear banging noises around my home, along with the rare but still horrifying laughter of which only a true psychotic serial killer can provide.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: no, anyone can provide that kind of laugh, that's why there are so many actors making movies with characters who laugh weird.

I've heard Jeff's laugh on the gaming vid. He just sounds like an immature, twinked out little brat. And killers don't laugh differently from normal people. It's what they find amusing that sets them apart from the rest of us.

🕵Detective: I don’t know how much longer it will be until we catch him, but, if he keeps making these mistakes, then we’ll have a solid identity and an air-tight case. I feel we are on the brink of taking him in, for I keep hearing laughter and banging sounds that are escalating in volume, and I also am seeing an odd orb of light in the distance.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So he taunts people with loud noises and a flashlight. Childish as ever.

🕵Detective: I have radioed fellow police to the scene, but the radio has gone dead.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? I thought you were just writing a "report" and now you've suddenly switched to a journal?

🕵Detective: The light is getting closer, and I have my gun ready. It’s him. I can see his face. Time tot

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So stop writing and do your worst then. either way, I'll get him anyway.

💩Jeff: mntoujiujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujyhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj….

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Cut the gibberish, Raccoon-eyed Cut-out…

💩Jeff: Hello Hello Hello everyone.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Snub* Who wants to talk to *YOU*? Not counting your stupid little fancult consisting of the likes of Jane, Nina, and Jess etc.

💩Jeff: My name is Jeff.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No crap; duh! *Contemptuous glare* I was expecting you…

💩Jeff: I don’t like that this story is being published,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Who cares? I don't like YOU!

💩Jeff: but oh well.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh well nothing. Get lost! *Scowl*

💩Jeff: It’s not like any of you could catch a demon of my caliber.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There's only one caliber when it comes to demons and you for that matter, evil, psycho, sicko, puerile trash. You will get caught. And you won't like it.

💩Jeff: The detective is now dead.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Withering glare* Keep this up and you will be dead. And BTW if you killed the detective, why did you leave what they wrote in tact instead of erasing it and putting a bunch of self-praise over your disgusting pastime and your stupid cut-out smile?

💩Jeff: The journal is over.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But you're adding to it, stupid!

💩Jeff: And it’s quite hilarious,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Tosses brick at Jeff: Here, eat that with your smile and laugh at it for a while!

💩Jeff: because, in viewing this document, I have logged every single one of your IP addresses and know exactly where you are.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scoffing* Cut the crap, your lies are not scaring me. Anybody can get on a computer and make that claim. You're just a bad hack.

💩Jeff: For example: One of you works at a Cousin’s on Drexel boulevard,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh that could be any number of people. Provide names, dates, work schedules, the whole works, and then you better be sure they're correct.

💩Jeff: one of you lives in Burbank,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So do a lot of people, nimrod… You still can't name names.

💩Jeff: one of you lives on East avenue,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: We don't even have an East Avenue here, but I'm sure there are lots of East Avenues in the world, and many people living on them. You still fail, Jeff, fail.

💩Jeff: one of you goes to University and has a roommate named Becky,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for goodness sakes Jeff, do you have any idea how many Becky's are somebody's university room mate?

Although, I'll bet you were aiming a jab at your *cough* friend, Jane The Killer, who used to room with a Becky, and later, slept with her husband - you know Jane's messy history of sleeping around with married men and other women as well. I'd look out for Becky if I were you.

💩Jeff: one of you is going to Iowa,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "one of you this, "one of you" that, "one of you" this, "one of you" that. You're just pulling little scenarios out of your face-hack smiley.

Jeff: one of you goes to is quite the whiz at the piano…

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That isn't even a proper sentence. "One of you goes to is" where in the world is *Is*? Oh, wait? I know! It's the land of Desu!

And, piano? Really? Of all the instruments people learn to play, - and get reasonably good at, you pick the most common - wow. Not that you're any judge of who plays any instrument as a whiz anyway. I beat the heck out of you any day. You couldn't even judge who sings the best if we put farm animals among a church choir.

💩Jeff: The list goes on and on.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The list of scenarios you just think off the top of that honking zit on your shoulders goes on and on. The fact is, you don't know jack, other than perhaps Candle Eyelesss Jack or Laughing Jack. :p

💩Jeff: I know where you work.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And I know what you thought about 5 seconds ago. Right, bluffer, liar, loser, you're not scaring me.

💩Jeff: I know your friends.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I know your friends. There, did you believe me? Hah, I can even name them. Slender Man. Jack, either one. Smile Dog (Terrance). Ben. Nina, Jess, and your cousin Camille.

Are you scared yet, Jeff?

💩Jeff: Your family.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I know your family - but for one member, got massacred by you. *Enraged scowl* I also know you are banking on other people reading your drivel to be scared of you coming after theirs...

💩Jeff: Your loved ones.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Redundant, Jeff. Friends&family = loved ones, to normal people like me. Not for you, though. You're not capable of love in the remotest sense.

And, you're not scaring me.

💩Jeff: I know everything.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hey arrogant pixel waste! You're not God! You aren't even a demigod. You don't even know as much as the average person. You know nothing!

💩Jeff: Soon, all of that will be taken from you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Just try me, buster, I'll make you wish you were never concocted. *Seething*

💩Jeff: Upon reading this message from me,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Your doom has drawn very much nearer, Jeffy boy!!

💩Jeff: you should start hearing odd noises and feel a sense of fear and dysphoria wash over you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nope, not happening, boy…

For one thing, I've been working on this mangling of your trash bit by bit all day. I took a computer to work to tear apart your obnoxious dreck in whatever spare time I had there. During the whole time, guess what? There were less strange noises than usual! There were no feelings of fear and dysphoria.

The only thing I feel now is the urge to use you for target practice!

💩Jeff: You will become anxious and frantic for no logical reason.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Jeff, "go to slip" and keep dreaming. Because you're not scaring me.

💩Jeff: The banging isn’t the building you reside in.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There is no banging, you idiot.

💩Jeff: It’s something else.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Like pounding drums in your ears when I make you listen to some rock song full blast.

💩Jeff: Something quite sinister.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No sinister banging here… You are sinister, but you are powerless.

💩Jeff: Something that wants your blood.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't know what kind of weird parasites you get around your neck of the woods, Jeff, but our bloodsuckers have all gone with the summer, and they buzz, they don't bang.

💩Jeff: If I don’t get you,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's because I'll get you…

💩Jeff: I will get those you love and care about.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You have just tried to make it personal. You have signed and sealed your own death warrant, and I won't let you go peacefully! Nobody threatens my family and friends, even as a joke! *Murderous glower, bears teeth*

💩Jeff: You, the one shivering in your chair and has a girlfriend named Jessica with whom you live with…

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Jessica, really? Do you have any idea how many guys are living with girls named Jessica? Again, Jeffy boy, you fail at being scary.

I can find some Jessicas to help bring you down! And, they have friends. Friends who would not be pleased at your threatening the ones they care about. Jef, I'd run if I was you. You've just stepped in a big can of serpents just waiting to swallow you whole!

💩Jeff: She’s mine.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Burning glower* You're dead!

💩Jeff: You aren’t safe.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nobody's "safe" from life and whatever troubles come with it, you stupid drongo!

💩Jeff: Heh.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Acid glare* Don't you "heh" me, boy!

💩Jeff: Hahahaha. AHAHAHAHHH!!!!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Dirty glare, throws cactus at Jeff* There! Put a cactus in that fake smile and shut up!

💩Jeff: I think it’s time for you to go to sleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Jessica's bf is not going to slip, Jeff, neither is she, neither am I, but you? Nah, it'll be waking nightmares for you.

💩Jeff: :)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Unfriendly scowl* Don't give me the smilie!

💩Jeff: I’ll be in shortly.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You'll be in a world of trouble, that's what!

💩Jeff: Sincerely,

Jeffrey the Killer.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I was tempted to call you "Jeffrey" before now, but thought better of it - you could've been named Jefferson for all anyone knew. But, from now on, I will only refer to you by your full first name. No friendly little name-shortening for you, Jeffrey!

💩Jeff: P.S. Whomever is the one that’s a junior at Kettle Moraine… You’re cute. I’ll take my time with you... If you know what I mean ;)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Burning, livid, killer glower, tightly clenched fists up, roar* Okay, that's it, Jeffrey, I'm coming for you! You are out of time!

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