* * *
🧒Story2: Another account was found in a book of collected folklore concerning supernatural creatures:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Source, please.
🧒Story2: “When I was younger, a cousin of mine came to live with us. He was older than me and my sisters. Maybe sixteen or seventeen. We were the only family he had left in the world. He was the worst liar you’d ever meet. Anything he’d tell you was a lie. I liked him all right. We slept in a loft during the summer because it was cooler up there, me and him, and in the winters we slept on the floor closer to the stove. My sisters had their own room.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So, from this, I'm getting that you're a male, but so far you haven't mentioned your name or those of your relatives.
🧒Story2: So one night my cousin wakes me up by punching me in the shoulder,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Nice.
🧒Story2: and it’s summer so we’re up in the loft, and my first thought when he wakes me up is to just push him out, because I’m not happy at being waked up, you know?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: 'waked'? Well anyway, no kidding, I'd be plenty cross if somebody woke me up that way.
🧒Story2: But before I can say anything he puts his hand over my mouth and even though it’s dark I can hear that he’s scared. “Listen,” he says, and so I listen real careful.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh! This writing style, or, lack thereof is killing me. - But - you're not scaring me.
🧒Story2: It’s this scratching, like something on the roof, and the roof is right over our heads, mind you, ‘cause we’re in the loft. I was a trifle rattled, but I wasn’t having none of it. “So?” I says to him.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh! Written in Hicksvillian.
🧒Story2: “It’s just some raccoon or a cat.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm with cat. They're more than common in a farm setting.
🧒Story2: “No,” says John, “I heard it before I waked you up, it’s like footsteps, like someone’s walking up there.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well there's a huge difference between the sound of a human's footsteps and a cat scratching. But one kid hears a cat and the other thinks he hears human footsteps, talk about glaring inconsistencies.
and finally, we have a name. The liar cousin's name is John, folks. He should've been named in the introduction.
🧒Story2: I wasn’t taking no truck with that, I told you he was the awfullest liar.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: 🤦♀️ Horrible, horrible writing! And what the heck is this 'taking no truck with that'? Dumbest phrase I've read in a while.
🧒Story2: So I went back to sleep, but the next day my cousin tried to tell Pap about it,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Wince* 'Pap? You call your dad 'Pap? *twitch* Ugh! Even 'Pops' would be better. But 'Pap'? Erm, no. Just - NO!
🧒Story2: and Pap wasn’t having no truck with it, either.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Aaaaaack! Two abominations in one sentence! This writing is stabbing me about the ears and eyes! It is going to kill me! make it stop! Make it stop!
🧒Story2: But one night later on, while we was all having supper,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Cringe* 'We was'? Argh!
🧒Story2: Pap
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh!
🧒Story2: sent out my youngest sister to fetch water from the pump we had in the back.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So what was her name?
🧒Story2: After a while we heard Lily scream,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Who's Lily? I'm guessing she's your youngest sis, but she could be another cousin for all I know. What I'm saying is, you should've introduced her by name in the sentence about the youngest sister above.
🧒Story2: and it was Ma who got up first, and then Pap.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Twitch*
🧒Story2: The rest of us stayed at the table because we was like to get in trouble if Lily was hurt and we was there to gloat.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Golly gee, what nice kids, what stellar grammar. Yuck! You can shut up any time!
🧒Story2: Soon enough, though, we heard Pap and Ma shouting too, so me and John went out to see if they needed our help.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You know, you could've simply left out the sentence right before this one. Other than your gloating, why was it so important to point out how you mooks just sat there for a few moments until your Ma and Pa (I refuse to call him 'Pap') called out in alarm?
🧒Story2: All they had was the water pail Lily carried out, and there wasn’t no other sign of her.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah right. Slendy took her - during dinner time, probably going to eat her.
Or more likely, she's as naughty as the rest of you and just playing run, hide and scream.
But I hope this version ends soon, there's way too much of this old farmer speak.
🧒Story2: At first I didn’t understand what was going on, with both Ma and Pap shouting,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Urgh! Just cut out the 'Pap' already! Just - stop!
🧒Story2: and by that time my other sisters come out and they started crying, and
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Cringe* Oh, just end this already! It burns! Tenses all mucked up, terrible redneck-type speak, just, ugh!
🧒Story2: my cousin was just standing there in the yard looking off toward something.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And looking like a dope into the bargain.
🧒Story2: “It’s the man walking yonder!” he yells, and he’s pointing out across the field. No one’s listening to him but me and he keeps saying it: “It’s the man walking yonder! It’s the man walking yonder!”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: "yonder'? Nobody speaks that way any more. Sounds like this kid's stuck between wanting to be a hillbilly and wanting to be a bard.
🧒Story2: You already know it was suppertime, so you know the sun was setting and it was hard to see.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hold up. You said it was summer, so the sun shouldn't be setting at supper time, unless you're living on or near the equator.
🧒Story2: But when I looked out over that field at the back of the house, the whole thing was lit up orange, and there was a row of big black trees that was the edge of the woods,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: sunsets tend to make things look a bit orange.
🧒Story2: you know? And I swear to you that I saw one of them trees moving, like a man walking away. But it couldn’t have been a man, ‘cause there ain’t no man that tall and skinny.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Maybe a giraffe got loose from a zoo… Well, even that's more likely than a walking tree or some photoshop image haunting your forest.
🧒Story2: Papa seen it, too, I think.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh! At least you finally called him 'Papa' but this 'seen' business. more redneck stuff again! Argh! It's 'saw' kid!
🧒Story2: He took us inside and locked all the doors, and he made us keep still while he got out his rifle. We waited like that all night, Ma crying the whole time.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well, naturally when one of her kids is missing…
🧒Story2: When the sun come up we took a wagon into town and told folks what happened, though as I recall nothing much came of it. John ran off a few weeks later, and we got a new house closer to the mill where Papa worked. I still can’t manage to look at trees during sunset though, especially not on windy days when they all move back and forth, like a man walking away.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Well that's all it is, wind and trees, nothing more. When Lily finally decides she's had enough playing around and gets back home, safe and sound, I wouldn't blame the parents for grounding her for a year.
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