Phew, something smells rotten!
This is a rant and meme-mangle I wrote when the Captain Underpants name-game joke chain was going around, back in the Clinton and Bush eras. Let's hope it doesn't! But if it does, my rant is here and it still stands. it shows how sick one can get of everyone resharing the same recirculated joke memes. This one was particularly annoying because it hit mailing lists, and people replied back with lolls and their new poopy names according to the rules of the so-called game. I wasn't amused by this kindergarten-level humor in the first place, and couldn't have cared less about everyone else's poopy names..
This was my mini-rant back in around 2005 or so.
'I've gotten this darn Captain Underpants chain letter at least twice a year for several years now. Not only was it lame to begin with, it's as stale as, well, dirty underwear!
Why in the world do people keep passing the infernal thing along? Every late winter/and spring, and again in the fall or even late summer, the Captain Underpants name game always manages to fart its way into my inbox! It's enough to make me scream and want to tear my hair out or toss something! Like, ARGH!!'
Now, to the mangling.
😏Meme: Subject: I'm gadget bubble fanny
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm somebody with a real name and I don't know you.
😏Meme: Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: This is not only silly, it's over the hill and in serious need of retirement! When you've gotten this pooped out chain letter in your mail box as many times as I have, You'll probably agree with me.
😏Meme: And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not-
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bull! To be honest, I was having a pretty good day until my mail box broke wind with this piece of old crap. Why not relieve stress instead of causing it? There are a heck of a lot funnier things online, quite a few interactive sites with name generators, anything from your hobbit name to your pirate name generators are out there. Try them out and, if they aren't viral, share their site urls with your friends and let the sick humor sites archive the marvels of the Great Captain Underpants instead.
😏Meme: Here is your dose of humor...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: More like, here is your dose of aggravation!
😏Meme: Follow the instructions to find your new name. Once you have your new name, put it in the Subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, don't bother! Well, okay, if you want to figure out your underpants name, go ahead, but keep it to yourself! I did this thing long ago, and promptly forgot what my new name was. And I never re-shared it. So frankly, I couldn't give a rat's patuty what yours is, let alone remember it!
😏Meme: And don't go all adult - my son-in-law's senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And why should I care, since I don't know you or your son-in-law or much less his senior manager? Nice little variation of "I got it from a friend of a friend of a friend" and no, I don't believe it.
😏Meme: The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants, And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, where does the peril come in to it?
😏Meme: Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name: a = poopsie b = lumpy
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And on and on. *yawn*
😏Meme: Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: a = apple b = toilet c= giggle d = burger e = girdle f = barf
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, I get the idea. Each letter stands for something gross, weird, unlikely, or stupid.
😏Meme: Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: a = head b = mouth c = face d = nose e = tush f = breath
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Etc. etc. Yeah yeah yeah...
😏Meme: \ Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, right, *rolling eyes* the whole point of this thing is to call the US president, whoever he happens to be at the time the chain letter is going around, by some childish poopid stupid name. I seem to remember getting this when Bill Clinton was president. No, I don't remember what his Cpt. Underpants name was other than it was along the same line. It might've even been the very same name. But since this was the George Bush version (and I'm quite surprised an Obama version hasn't reared it's stinky head yet,) this was clearly a chain letter the democrats would've loved.
😏Meme: Now when you SEND THIS ON...use your new name as the subject.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Redundant instruction. It was already stated above, and again, not a chance here.
😏Meme: And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Hogwash!
1. did the originators of this crappy forward actually go into countless homes and monitor and record every 'ha ha'?
2. I know for a fact, from my own personal experience that adults laugh every bit as much as children do. And, children especially small ones, cry and scream a heck of a lot more than most adults.
😏Meme: Put more laughter in your day.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, but remember, laughter comes from something being *funny*. This Captain Underpants thing isn't and I'm *not* laughing!
Who's going to remember this as a knee-slapping, fall on the floor, rib busting chortle and retell it other than in internet forwards? Heck, I don't think some people even remember it long enough to realize they've received it before and done it. So that's why it keeps blowing into my email box like a bad smell, every 6 months or so, year after year, and from some of the same people who forwarded it previously!
People, *PLEASE* Don't *EVER* send me that crappy chain letter again! I'm sick of it!! Do the rest of us who have seen it more than we'd like to count a favor and stop cluttering the net and our inboxes up with the same-ol' same-ol' infantile time-waster!
Be Original, break this chain, toss it in the dirty hamper and share some real laughs and fun interactive sites that you discovered on your own and not from a friend of a friend! Please! *gets down on knees* I implore you,have mercy! Don't be like the others who forward the same stuff all over the place! Make a difference! Show you care! Stop passing this along! Pretty pretty please!
Over and out!