🧝♀️Ocean Elf: This dead cow/mule/donkey raffle joke has been used to teach lessons or make fun of governments, all depending on who re-shares it. The names of the characters are different in each version of the meme as well.
PRESH TALWALKAR of Posted the joke meme February 9, 2012.
🗣PRESH TALWALKAR: I came across an old joke about how it’s possible to turn a profit from selling a dead animal.
While the story is not true, there is a lesson to be learned.
👳Meme1Patel – how he became Head of Finance of Mother India
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: With a title like that, one might think this was going to be a serious, informative article about India's government. but wait. Not quite.
👨Chain3: Kenny and the dead donkey
how to sell a dead donkey
👳Meme1 Eid Mubaaa…… ** some text missing ** due to recession
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? Well, the word 'recession" used in this context could give it away that this is a joke.
👨🌾Meme2: Curtis and Leroy saw an advertisement in the Starkville Daily in Starkville, Mississippi for a mule that a local farmer was selling.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Right, because nobody named Leroy could ever be a CEO of some big company, a judge or anything, this chain sets this story up to be about a couple of hicks buying a mule from some farmer in, where else but Mississippi. *Rolling eyes* Contrived to the hilt.
👨Meme3: A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and
👨🌾Meme2: They
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: bought
👨🌾Meme2: the mule
👨Meme3:a donkey from a farmer
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: for $100.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Mules sell for a lot more than $100. Try $1000 and up!
👳Meme1 Sardarjee* I have a cow for you for just R500!’
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: As far as I can make out, R30.000 is the lowest price for 8 head of cattle coming from this Indian dairy farm.
👳Meme1 Patelbhai: E yoh, ! I’ll take it – you can bring it to me tomorrow!’
👨🌾Meme2: The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Why not make the money transaction upon delivery? If the farmer was going to deliver the animal in person - this isn't some arrangement where it is being shipped by air…
👳👨🌾👨Memes: The next
👨🌾Meme2: morning
👳👨Memes1&3: day:
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: the farmer
👨🌾Meme2: drove up
👨Meme3: delivered the donkey.
👨🌾Meme2: and said,
👳👨🌾👨Memes: “Sorry,
👳Meme1 Bhai ,
👨🌾Meme2: fellows,
👨Meme3: son,” the farmer said,
👳Meme1 but
👨🌾Meme2: I have some bad news,
👳👨🌾👨Memes: the
👳Meme1 cow
👨🌾Meme2: mule
👨Meme3:donkey
👳👨🌾👨Memes: died
👳👨🌾Memes1&2: last night.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I knew that was coming the moment I read the words "bad news" So why didn't he just phone, text or email them?
👨🌾Meme2: Curtis and Leroy replied, “Well,
👳Meme1 ‘Hauw.. So, ok
👳👨🌾👨Memes: then. Just give
👳Meme1 me
👨🌾Meme2: us
👳Meme1 my
👨🌾Meme2: our
👨Meme3: Kenny asked for his
👳👨🌾👨Memes: money back,’
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: A reasonable request/demand to be sure. But what I really don't understand is why didn't these goofballs wait until the cow-mule was delivered to pay the guy, or why they didn't just pick it up from the farm themselves. Surely if they own or were going to own large livestock they would've at least had some sort of trailer of their own in case they needed to transport an animal somewhere.
See how this just isn't adding up, but it's all cobbled together to make some sort of point as so many virals do.
👨🌾Meme2: The farmer said,
👳Meme1 ‘Sorry Bhaia,
👳👨🌾👨Memes: I
👨🌾Meme2: “Can’t do that.
👳👨🌾👨Memes: I
👨🌾Meme2: went and
👳Meme1 did already spend that money..’
👨🌾Meme2: spent it already.”
👨Meme3: but the farmer said he already spent it.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So spend some more and Return it anyway, creeps, it doesn't have to be those exact bills, as long as it's the amount those doofuses are out.
👨🌾Meme2: They said,
👳Meme1 ‘Eish! So,
👳👨🌾👨Memes: ok then,. Just bring
👳Meme1 me
👨🌾Meme2: us
👳👨🌾👨Memes: the dead
👳Meme1 cow.’
👨🌾Meme2: mule.”
👨Meme3: Kenny said, “OK, then, just unload the donkey.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: What - the - heck!? What would anybody want with a dead mule-cow-donkey? The least they could demand is for the farmer to give them a healthy donkowmule in place of the one that died.
But I suppose this whole thing was a setup from the start, the farmer thought he could make an easy and dishonest r500/$100 by selling an animal for maybe a tenth of what it was worth, put out the ad, and then tell the chumps who took the bait the animal had died. Knowing full well it was a sick animal on its last legs. Or there was no donkowmule at all.
👨🌾Meme2: The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! This must be that same old Hicksville redneck-talking farmer who dispensed that pile of advice nobody really needs because we've all figured out a few things for ourselves through life experiences.
👨🌾Meme2: Curtis said, “We gonna
👨Meme3: I’ll
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Naturally, the Mississippi guy from meme2 gets saddled with the "we gonna" redneck/ebonics stuff and the city slicker Kenny in Meme3 gets the better grammar. Oh, knock it off!
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: raffle him off.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Ewww! And really stupid telling the farmer that. "Just give me your junk so I can try to make a bundle on it." Do you really think that'll work? Chumps.
👨🌾Meme2: The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead mule!”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: You can't sell one either, jerk face!
👨🌾Meme2: Leroy said, “We shore can! Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Until the money rolls in from other schmucks, of course. and the whole story just keeps going around…
👳Meme1 So, sardaar jee brought** the dead cow to Patel the next morning.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Yuck.
👳👨🌾👨Memes: A
👨Meme3: month
👳Meme1 few
👨🌾Meme2: couple of
👳👨🌾Memes1&2: weeks
👳👨🌾👨Memes: later,
👳Meme1 sardarjee
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: the farmer
👨Meme3: met up with
👳Meme1 bumped
👨🌾Meme2: ran
👳👨🌾Memes1&2: into
👳Meme1 patel
👨Meme3: Kenny,
👨🌾Meme2: Curtis and Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for gosh sake, what is this, a little kindergarten story? Mississippi has regular grocery stores like anywhere else - I'm pretty sure they don't have a Piggly Wiggly's!
👳👨🌾👨Memes: and asked
👳Meme1 him what he did
👨🌾Meme2: “What’d you fellers ever do
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAAACK! eyes and ears are bleeding. Stop the freakin' contrived redneck talk!
👳👨🌾Memes1&2: with
👳Meme1 the
👨🌾Meme2: that
Chains1&2: dead
👳Meme1 cow:
👨🌾Meme2: mule?”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I don't want to know.
👨🌾Meme2: They said,
👳Meme1 ‘You won’t believe, sardarjee! I made a raffle for the cow,
👨🌾Meme2: “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Facepalm!* AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
👨🌾Meme2: Leroy said, “Shucks,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Don't use 'shucks. It doesn't fit in this case and shouldn't be used by a chain letter redneck, ever.
👳Meme1 and I
👨🌾Meme2: we
👨Meme3: who said he
👳👨🌾👨Memes: sold
👳Meme1 251
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: 500
👨Meme3: raffle
👳👨🌾👨Memes: tickets
👳Meme1 for
👨Meme3: at
👨🌾Meme2: fer
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Aaaaaaagh!
👳Meme1 R5 each!
👨🌾Meme2: two dollars
👨Meme3: $2
👨🌾Meme2: apiece
👨Meme3: each
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: and
👳Meme1 I
👳👨🌾👨Memes: made a profit of
👳Meme1 R850!
👨🌾Meme2: $998.”
👨Meme3: $898.”
👳Meme1 But, I didn’t tell anyone the cow was dead..’
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So chumps get taken for a ride by jerks, and end up making even bigger chumps out of them and all comers. Where am I supposed to be impressed?
👨🌾Meme2: The farmer said, “My Lord,
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Don't use that expression here!
👳Meme1 ‘Yoh! And the people
👳👨🌾👨Memes: didn’t
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: anyone
👳👨🌾👨Memes: complain?’*
👨Meme3: because the donkey was dead?” the farmer asked.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes uncontrollably*
👳Meme1 *’Eish! Only the guy which won! So, I gave him back his R5 and he was happy!’
👨🌾Meme2: Curtis said, “Well, the feller
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Stop with the redneck!
👨Meme3: “Just the guy
👳👨🌾👨Memes: who won
👨🌾Meme2: got upset,.”
👨Meme3: Kenny explained,
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: “So
👨🌾Meme2: we
👨Meme3: I
👨🌾👨Memes2&3: gave him his two dollars back.!”
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So you're scammers. Guess you louts learned your lesson well...
👳Meme1 Patel is now Minister of Finance* *in Gujrat*
👨🌾Meme2: Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes*
🗣PRESH TALWALKAR: A lesson in consumer education
The story reminds me of a more serious matter. I liken Kenny to companies that sneakily raise fees. If you catch them and call to complain, they will eventually admit they are wrong. And then they will usually offer to refund the overcharge. But here’s the important part.
Tell them a refund is not good enough
If all the company loses is an overcharge, then they are happy to create the mess again. They will still profit from customers who are unaware or do not complain about the fee.
You cannot be reasonable and win against underhand tactics: as I wrote before, smart consumers aim to be reasonably unreasonable.
I would prefer not having to argue, but sometimes it’s important to stand up for yourself, and others.
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