Do The Math

Weird/fun math chain letters claiming to amazingly reveal things about you, based on days in the calendar, or what secret messages are hidden about you in the humble carrot, apple, or chocolate etc.


Chocolate Math Chain


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually you can use just about anything else in there besides chocolate.

So, although I like chocolate a lot, let's pretend for the sake of debunking this thing, that I don't. In fact, I know someone who doesn't like chocolate, so that also counts.

😏Meme: Don't tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There's no such thing as the Hershy man... Hershy is a company, and they don't even know me let alone my age, so there's no way they'd know if I'd be lying or telling the truth.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Or by some other silly little chain letter idea. It could even be your age by swimming or jogging, or watching TV etc., because instead of asking you about chocolate, it could ask you about swimming or jogging or watching TV, anything at all...

😏Meme: This is pretty neat.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No not pretty neat. Only pseudo-neat - that is, people are led to believe it's neat because the chain letter says it's neat, and people can't resist these silly little age puzzles, which are carefully designed to fit with any year...


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So simply scrolling is cheating now? And who's gonna find out other than anyone who might actually be in the room with me during this thing? And no, I'm currently alone.

😏Meme: It takes less than a minute .

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: With a calculator, maybe. But it's going to take more than a minute to mangle but worth the time.

😏Meme: Work this out as you read .

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And wreck it as I go along, sure.

😏Meme: Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'll do it if I want to.

😏Meme: This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually it is one of those waste of, well, maybe not so much time as bandwith because people post it without mangling it. The fun will come when it is mangled.

😏Meme1: 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 0 Remember, I'm pretending I don't like chocolate. And you could actually put in anything besides having chocolate. For example, name how many times a week you go to work, read a book, anything. I'm sure there's a beer-drinking version of this thing kicking around somewhere in cyberspace too.

😼Meme2: 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So unlike the first version of this chain which didn't actually demand you pick a number between 1 and 10, this one actually says you must pick between 1 and 10 whether you actually like chocolate or not, to avoid the thing not working out. A 0 number will make the reference to the three-digit number the chain says you should end up with, look silly, because you don't get a three-digit number if you use 0, but you'd get a four digit number if you used 10 and above... More than 10 would probably work in another year, maybe in 2012 this chocolate chain will tell you to pick between 1 and 11 instead... Well, I'm going to go with 0 anyway, because although I do love chocolate, I know of at least one person who literally gags on it, he hates it that much. And this per week thing could really apply to anything else. You don't have to make it about having chocolate, you could make it about how many times you watch a favorite TV show, or anything else.

😏Meme: 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 0

😏Meme: 3. Add 5

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 5

😏Meme: 4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 250

😏Meme: 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1760 ..

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 2010

😏Meme: If you haven't, add 1759..

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 2009

Oh, and there's probably a 2008/2007 version etc that came before this, and will be dated and edited with the numbers reconfigured in modified equations designed to make it work every time, no matter what year it is.

for the year 2015, for example, this equasion would tell you to add 1764 or 1765. See how unremarkable this is, really?

😏Meme: 6... Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm going to make up something here. If I was born in 1992, the answer would be 17 or 18 depending on the 2009 or 2010 above.

By the way, doing this with 2008, one would be 2...

Yeah, seen those kinds of trick memes before. Nothing amazingly great about them.

😏Meme: You should have a three digit number

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: A three-digit number? Or maybe this goes back to the first step when you assumed I liked chocolate and would enter something other than nill.

😏Meme: The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, it was 0, so at least you were wrong about my ending up with a 3 digit number. That's where the debunk comes in. I already arrived at the age I would be if I was born in 1992, and figured out the age of the 2-year-old born in 2008 according to the math in this 2010 version of the so-called chocolate math age chain letter.

Since I put 0, I didn't reveal how many times I want to or actually do have chocolate per week, since I don't bother keeping track of such silly things anyway...But I'm filling this out for a hypothetical two-year-old who doesn't like chocolate...

😏Meme: The next two numbers are

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well?

😏Meme: YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Actually, it isn't, because I never give that out, and used phony stats to mangle this thing.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, it isn't, not when for each new year, this chain mutates to change the equation. They won't be telling you to add, multiply, and subtract the very same numbers in different years. It can be so easily tweaked and designed to look a lot freakier to people who don't really think about what's actually going on with these memes.

there have been and will continue to be others just like it...

I remember getting similar things back in 2000...


Vegetable Math Chain Letter A vegetable math chain letter was posted and mangled very poorly by a lot of people on this forum, bad words in siglines, other stupidity displayed by various posters throughout.

So, a proper mangling and theory as to why the chain letter is thinking "carrot" and wants you to as well.

😏Meme: MIND TRICK (Or not) Have you ever wondered if your mind is normal? Well, do this little mind exercise and find out if you are different!! Free will or synoptic wiring? You be the judge, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not when you figure out the trick behind it all. The chain letter uses a pretty subtle association with numbers and keyboard layout, attempting to project what was in the originator's mind into your own.

😏Meme: Follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can. Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them...really.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, I got rid of all the extra empty space which was the scrolling-down stuff to save bandwidth.

😏Meme: Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something)........

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You won't, I got rid of all that extra space so take your time and you won't miss anything. There isn't much to miss anyway.

😏Meme: What is:

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What is what? 😏Meme: 1+5

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 6

😏Meme: 2+4

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 6 again

😏Meme: 3+3

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Do you like the number 6 or something?

😏Meme: 4+2

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You must really like 6!

😏Meme: 5+1

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yep, it's official, you are 6-obsessed!

😏Meme: Now repeat saying the number 6 to yourself as fast as you can for 15 seconds.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If I do that, I'll sound like I'm laughing through my teeth. Anyway, you add all of those 6s together, and you get 30. If you had gone one further and said 0+6, you could've had 6 6s in all, which would've been pretty cool for you.

😏Meme: Then scroll down.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not necessary, at least, not too far.

😏Meme: QUICK!!! THINK OF A VEGETABLE! Then arrow down.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Brustles sprouts - don't you just hate when that happens?

😏Meme: Keep going.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Again, scrolling space nixed.

😏Meme: You're thinking of a carrot, right?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nope, but I think I know why you are.

😏Meme: If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with carrot when given this exercise.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bulltosh! For one thing, you simply don't know the minds of everybody on earth. You're just making up a silly statement and trying to use a sneaky trick association to get it done.

😏Meme: Freaky, huh?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Freaky? No. Silly? Yes.

😏Meme: Keep this message going. Forward it to people you know and see if they can see if they are DIFFERENT or NOT!!!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Earth to chain originator, everybody's different. This forward isn't going to determine how different anyone's mind is.

But this is the attempt at subliminal message and mind-control this chain letter plays on.

carrot symbol on a computer keyboard is commonly the shift-6 key.

If you don't have a computer with the carrot symbol resulting with that combination, you may or may not think of a carrot at the veggie prompt in this chain letter.

Nice try, but no carrot for you.


From former Ning site:

Replies to This Discussion

Reply by BP

Haha! Nice. *smile* And the whole premise of this one is just weird. When it yells at ya to think of a vegetable I was just like "Ah, what the heck...? Kumquat. Hah! How's that for a curve ball!" Though I do have to wonder why I thought of a fruit when asked to think of a veggie...maybe that's just a bit of my partially spiteful nature coming out. *evil smile*

Reply by Ocean Elf

LOL! Well, you're not the only one who thought of a fruit, going by what I read in that discussion where the meme was originally posted and they couldn't pwn it right. Some people thought of bananas, others tomatoes etc. But I didn't wade through all of that discussion, got pretty disgusted with the prevailing attitudes there.

Reply by BP

Hmf. Well that's annoying. There are good pummellings, and then there are the ones that make you want to smack someone with your keyboard. Urk...*shakes head*

Reply by Ocean Elf

Yes! I've felt like slapping the posters over the head with a few things. :) Some people just don't know how to do it right. :)

Reply by BP

Heheh! Yup. I mean, REALLY, people, I don't think it's that hard, but apparently some people out there don't have a very firm grasp of the concept. Heh!

Reply by Ocean Elf

Yes. They don't realize that when you trounce memes, you have to do it so that you don't come off looking as stupid or stupider than the meme itself.

Reply by BP

*smile* Heheh! Well put.

And yet, with as simple as the concept is, it is often...crushed, smashed or just plain ignored. Ugh.

Reply by Ocean Elf

Hehe! Thanks! Yes. I find it even more annoying when something looks promising at first, but then turns out to be a new low level of stupid. Ack!

Reply by BP

H'm! Don't we all...*shakes head* Yuck. It's like it's trying to sneak up on ya...

Reply by Ocean Elf

Yes, and then it really makes you annoyed!


The 5 Fruit Quiz - An Anti Chain Letter, mangled

This is an anti-chain letter. That means a parody of a chain letter, but that has become the thing it satirizes. Yes, anti-chain letters are in fact, chain letters.

😏Meme: The 5 Fruits - Which would you pick?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And if I don't?

😏Meme: Little test for you!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: We'll see about that.

😏Meme: The 5 Fruits - Which would you pick?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Probably none.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Right - not.

😏Meme: In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And?

😏Meme: They are:
A. Apple
B. Banana
C. Strawberry
D. Peach
E. Orange

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, next?

😏Meme: Which fruit will you choose?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: None. There are cookies in the cupboard, I'm going for those...

😏Meme: Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Heh, go ahead and rush into it and see why it actually cracked me a smile.

😏Meme: Your choice reveals a lot about you! Take your time!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Right...

😏Meme: Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN;

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I nixed out all that blank waste of bandwidth.

😏Meme: If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples

Ocean Elf(Etc. etc. snip) Oh, so you actually made sense by pointing out the obvious. Good for you. Haha.

😏Meme: Also I bet that right now you would like to find Me and Kick my

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Nope, it was a nice attempt of a mockout on those silly quizzes. That doesn't mean I'm gonna do anything other than insert comments.

😏Meme: Well, You won't find me....because I am still hunting down The Arse Who sent this to me...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh? I thought you originated it. Silly me.

😏Meme: Have a Purrrr-fect Day!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Groans* I'm really getting sick of this cat-speak...


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. I just mangled it, rather gently compared with other virals that take a beating from me, but nevertheless, it dies right here, getting laughed at. And you never did find out which fruit I'd prefer. Ha ha ha!

That meme included a pic of someone mooning, and that gets a thumbs down from me.


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