Idiots Calling Emergency

This one has been around since at least 2009.

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🙃Meme: REAL 911 Calls

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not. when a chain letter yells out "True!" or "Real!" you can be sure at least some of it is anything but.

🙃Meme: BELIEVE it or not,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I choose not.

🙃Meme: These are REAL 911 Calls!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I doubt it. There might be one or a few that are sort of true, but there's no way of verifying since there are no details beyond the story-telling. I couldn't find this list on debunking sites either.

So, instead of giving this the usual mangle, let's have some different kind of fun and make each of these calls about various fictional characters from horror movies or cruddy pastas etc.


Dispatcher :9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Jane The Killer: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Jane The Killer: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Jeff The Killer: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .

Dispatcher : Excuse me?

Jeff The Killer : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?

Jeff The Killer : No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Lady Une: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Lady Une: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Lady Une: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

🙃Meme: My Personal Favorite!!!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Fits Lady Une perfectly!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?

Chucky: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Chucky: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

🙃Meme: And the winner is……….


Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Freddy Krueger: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Freddy Krueger: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Freddy Krueger: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Freddy Krueger: Running from the Police.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's it.

Over and out.


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