The Lie Clock


Chain: A man

😜Meme1: died

😛Meme2: dies

😜😛Memes: and

😜Meme1: went

😛Meme2: goes

😜😛Memes: to heaven.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Oh, not another sacrilegious joke!

😜Meme1: As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates,

😜😛Memes: he

😜Meme1: saw

😛Meme2: sees

😜😛Memes: a

😜Meme1: huge wall

😛Meme2: bunch

😜😛Memes: of clocks

😜Meme1: behind him.

😛Meme2: on the wall and wonders why they're there.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Since when does time matter in the afterlife?

😛Meme2: So he goes to ask Jesus

😜Meme1: He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Don't drag Jesus into this!

😜Meme1: St. Peter answered,

😛Meme2: and Jesus says

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No actually, they don't/didn't.

😜😛Memes: "Those are lie clocks,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: oh, please, they don't keep track of lies on earth in heaven, I'm pretty sure about that. Heaven is supposed to be carefree. And I already know where this is going,a big honking "Look at the US president lie much more and much faster beating all the clocks every time!" or some such utter droll crap.

😛Meme2: they represent the amount of times someone has lied while they're on earth",

😜Meme1: Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull… But your weird version of Heaven probably has a clock for everything else too. Like every time somebody cracks a bad joke, the hand on their bad joke clock moves.

😜Meme1: “Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?”

😜Meme1: “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: and how would anyone really know for sure? She was a little kid once, and even the most well-behaved kids sometimes lie.

But I'm pretty sure the punchline is still gonna be "(insert US president's name) got the most hand-moves!"

😛Meme2: Jesus then shows him a clock that has only ticked one second and states "See, this is Mother Teresa's lie clock, indicating see has only lied once".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Again, how would anyone know? It is possible she didn't tell a lie once she was old enough to understand and account for her actions.

But, notice how the non-leftist version is nicer toward her? The liberal version judges her as lying once...

😜Meme1: “Incredible,” said the man.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not so much. Try ridiculous.

😜Meme1: “Where’s Obama’s clock?”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* I just knew that was coming.

😛Meme2: Interested the man asks where Donald Trump's "lie clock" is,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hah! There you go! the left anti-Trump contingent caught perpetuating a stale old joke meme that made them see red when the right passed it around as an anti-Obama joke! Hahahahahahahahaha!

😜Meme1: “His clock is in Jesus’s office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Glower* Sacrilegious trash!!!

😛Meme2: Jesus says,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, he doesn't...!

😛Meme2: "Unfortunately it had to be disabled, Einstein was getting upset that the hands were moving faster than the speed of light".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh my goodness, sure, bring Einstein into this too. Why not include Gandhi while you're at it? Ah, but that idea is probably a bit too edgy for you.

Over and out.


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