🤥Meme:Subject: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Calm down. No, it was not on the news...
🤥Meme: PLEASE PASS IT ON CAN’T HURT ANYONE, BUT BILL GATES?
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 1. You expressly want to hurt Bill Gates, or at least get people thinking they will by doing what you demand. What an upstanding human being you are, Nobel peace prize candidate for sure! ...Not...!
2. Yes, Spamming doesn't physically hurt people, but it can sure hurt rapport. Your tale is rubbish, and I've neglected to tell people when I changed email/contact information because they habitually sent/shared your kind of junk.
3. I'm not passing/re-sharing it to anyone else. Your crappy meme will bleed out, mangled on this page.
🤥Meme:Read carefully…
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You only want people to read slowly, not think carefully.., and hit that forward/share button, fast fast fast!
🤥Meme:THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY – IT IS FOR REAL
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull crap. No such USA Today article, unless they did one exposing your stupid chain letter for the hoax it is.
🤥Meme:To all of my friends,
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And this is where you really could mess newbies up and confuse the heck out of them. By inserting this kind of line, you make it appear as if the friend who shares it had actually written it... That is as much a lie as everything else you say.
Besides, I can't imagine who would want to be your friend.
🤥Meme: I do not usually forward messages,
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull. You fabricated this one from start to finish...
"I don't usually forward" yeah right. Such claims often turn out to be just the opposite of the truth. Your attempt at looking concerned doesn't fool me...
🤥Meme: but this is from my friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Then she better go back to law school, because if she's so foolish as to believe you, she's got problems.
🤥Meme: If she says that this will work – It will work.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, if she says it will work, it means she is just a figment of your imagination. You won't fool me with your fake attorney thing either.
🤥Meme: After all,What have you got to lose?
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If I was naive, or dumb enough to spread your meme, I would lose integrity, not to mention credibility and possibly some friends.
🤥Meme:SORRY EVERY BODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!!
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut it! Stop with the fake apology. You're not sorry. Stop shouting in all caps. That's rude.
🤥Meme: I’m an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, you are not an attorney, no, this is not real, and I thought you said your imaginary friend with the strange name was the attorney anyway.
🤥Meme: Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bollox, bultosh, and balderdash. No such class action suit, and Bill Gates will not be doling out money to everyone for sharing your meme - and, your "tracker" does not exist.
No judge would actually sentence anyone to give out millions to whoever spreads a stupid chain letter!
🤥Meme:Dear Friends: Please do not take this for a junk letter.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It is a junk letter, and I am not your friend...!
🤥Meme: Bill Gates sharing his fortune.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull...Crap...Bull...Crap...
🤥Meme: If you ignore this,
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, I'm doing better than that, I'm tearing it a new one.
🤥Meme: You will repent later.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "Repent"? Wrong word. I think you probably meant 'regret'. Ignoring your stupid chain letter does not constitute sin/crime/something that requires remorse and repentance... But I'm sure there are people who regret having fallen for your lies.
So there goes another tactic of yours, intimidation-attempt, fail!
🤥Meme: Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the largest Internet company
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No such mergers... I'm pretty sure none of those companies are the largest any more, if they were at one time.
🤥Meme: and in an effort to make sure that AOL Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program,
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: See how the wording changed as as the meme was spread? There is no such thing as AOL Internet Explorer. AOL was an email and chat client. Microsoft Internet Explorer, a web browser. Intel is a computer brand. One mutation of this hoax said "Aol" and the other, "MSIE". Putting them together is another way of showing how nonsensical it is.
🤥Meme: Microsoft and Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You don't make sure a web browser is the most popular by running any so-called email beta tests. Email and web browsers are two different kinds of programs...!
🤥Meme:When you forward this e-mail to friends,
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That will never happen. I don't spam my friends. I don't even spam people I dislike.
🤥Meme: Microsoft can and will track it ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong. Your email tracker does not exist...
🤥Meme:For every person that you forward this e-mail to,
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: See above! I said I am not spamming my friends with your dreck!
🤥Meme: Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong, wrong, wrong. No tracker. No law suit. No beta test. No getting big bucks for spamming one's friends...! You're a liar.
🤥Meme:I thought this was a scam myself,
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Yawn* Now the bogus testimonial. Wake me up when you're through.
🤥Meme: But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and withindays, I receive a check for $24,800.00.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bull! No such check was ever issued from Microsoft to you or anyone else just for spreading your stupid hoax.
🤥Meme: You need to respond before the beta testing is over.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You need to take a long walk off a short plank.
🤥Meme: If anyone can affoard this, Bill gates is the man.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And you can't even spell 'afford'. It is all a lie; if it somehow was true, not even Bill Gates would afford to live, he would be in debt for the rest of his life.
But you would love that, wouldn't you? Beastly hoaxer...
🤥Meme:It’s all marketing expense to him.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No. It's all a lot of stupid hooey...
🤥Meme: Please forward this to as many people as possible.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What part of "NO" do you not understand?
🤥Meme: You are bound to get at least $10,000.00.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Liar! You are bound to get cyber-pummelled if you don't shut up quick.
🤥Meme: We’re not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Here's that little something for your idiotic lies. *Punch*
🤥Meme: My brother’s girlfriend
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Why in the world should I give a crap about your brother's girlfriend? Another imaginary person in your head anyway...
🤥Meme: got in on this a few months ago.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And yet you said it was a two-week long thing. You can't even keep your dumb crap straight.
🤥Meme: When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped “Paid in full”
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hurray for your imaginary brother's idiotic girlfriend. How stupid is that?
I don't go strutting around showing everybody the checks I get from work, nor would I if I won a lottery. People around here just don't do things that dopey.
🤥Meme:Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real.
🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And like I said before, oh, forget it. *Pummel pummel pummel*
Want the scoop on Pearlas Sandborn and her friends/relations? Here are some funny stories by Robin Bloor.