Vodka Preacher

Ugh, this one is awful!


😏Meme: A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, brother, another stupid joke about priests.

😏Meme: After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, ‘When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.’

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Oh, yay, now it's a stupid joke about a drunken priest. Nothing quite so funny as that, huh? Well, no… Drunkenness isn't funny, it's inexcusably obnoxious.

😏Meme: So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah I'm sure… More like blithering a drunken pile of dumb and unfunny hogwash. Drunks are no funnier in jokes than in real life.

😏Meme: Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, figures, no big surprise here. No grin, either. *disgusted expression*

😏Meme: 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yadda yadda yadda, why do drunks in stupid chain jokes always get consistently dyslexic?

😏Meme: 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *withering glare* How typically, stupidly unfunny. And from there on in, it gets even worse, basically a crapload of God/Jesus/Mary/etc.-bashing and trash-talking, in the guise of a predictably retarded drunk joke. I mean, this thing just keeps getting infinitely more idiotic and dirty as it goes on, so I'll cut out the rest of these stupid drunken Bible-bashing sayings.

Clearly, the mook who came up with this low form of humor, was no intellectual giant.

Sadly enough, there are probably some Christians who might find this funny, but this is a great example of a chain letter joke non and especially anti-Christians would absolutely get a mega belly-laugh from, especially anyone who is specifically a catholic-hater, and who thinks drunks are knee-slapping funny.

😏Meme: The Origination of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: ROTF! Only a vodka-guzzling idiot would believe that.

😏Meme: The one who breaks the chain will have bad luck.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, considering the source is a vodka-guzzling idiot with reversitis, I've just been wished good luck for mangling this chain. So take that and swig it!

😏Meme: Do not keep this letter.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's mangled...

😏Meme: Do not send money just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck and a great laugh..You will see that something good happens to you four days from now if the chain is not broken….

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Why would I send you money? I wouldn't support your alcoholism or your poor attempts at comedy, even if I knew where to send the money. I'm not sending this lousy chain joke to 4 or any number of friends because it's tasteless, it's stupid, it's a chain letter, it's not funny, it wouldn't give many of my friends a good laugh, and I wouldn't want to give them the wrong impression of me.

Over and out.


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