🧝‍♀️ 👩‍🚀


Stu, Gary Stu.

BP: Everyone, fall in.

Pippi: Oh, we have an assignment?"

BP: Yes. Just tell me what you think of James Bond.

Pippi: Oh dear. Well - let's just say I'm not the sort of woman who would just fall into his arms.

Indy: *Scowls* He's a womanizing sleeze who doesn't know the first thing about being a real agent. If he did, he wouldn't resort to tom catting around!

NT: No kidding! And what I don't get is why all these women go for him anyway, don't they realize he's just a shallow player who's just using them to get info out of them?

Pippi: Unless those girls, or at least some of them, were using him for their own gain, I've never been able to figure out why so many women let themselves get used that way.

Capri Monroe: Probably because they're just as weak and shallow as he is in that area. I mean, look at all the Ed Cullen fangirls, and the ones going after Starscream for goodness sakes.

NT: Ewww! With Starscream and Cherie having such similar personalities, that just gave me a really disturbing mental image, what if Cherie got a following of drooling fanboys?

Everybody: UGH! *Making terrible faces*

Indy: The trouble is, James Bond could've played my sister, she was one of those people who was always looking for happiness in the wrong places, and she thought the right guy would do it, and she never found him. *Shakes fist* I still hate every guy who's ever been a jerk to her, and I know James Bond would've been no better, I mean, the guy doesn't feel, argh! *Tightly clenching fist* And there probably were some shallow fangirl types getting involved with him, but I'm sure there were others like my sis, whose lives he devastated without even a second thought just because he wanted info and his own gratification! *Stamps foot and fumes* GRARRRRRRRGH! *Glares*

Pippi: *Sigh* I'm sorry this is bringing up sad memories for you, Indy.

Indy: Note to James Bond, you're not as hot as you think you are, at least, not to a few of us with sense.

Bez: *Dry Smile* Well, there's not a ton to say after the other comments-pretty much covered it.

BP: Think of something.

Matrix: Hey, I've got something. James Bond: The Uber Gary Stu.

Bez: Heck yeah!

Indy: YES! Most definitely!

Matrix: *Smile* Yup. If you dissect the guy-

Sigma: *Distastful frown*

Matrix: You get several HUGE GS factors. Like this: Every lady out there wants to be with him, while every guy is either his best bud or life-long enemy.

Ameh: Yes, that fits, Gary Stu/Mary Sue = person who is either hated or worshiped by the same sex, with the worship only coming because they were classmates from kindergarten or something, so the unknown best bud thing is more of an obligation and designed to try making him look somewhat less like a Stu, but it doesn't work! Bzzzzzt!

Indy: Yes!

Bez: And the fact that none of the girls ever do anything about being treated like attractive dead weight-sheesh, the guy just has his fun with them and ditches 'em! You'd think someone would speak up about it, but NO!

NT: Isn't there any instances where the girl dumps him instead?

Capri Monroe: I honestly don't know. I was too unimpressed with the one movie I watched ages ago to bother checking out the others.

Pippi: good question though.

Sigma: Exactly! *Shakes head* I remember the time we had your video collection set to random-

Bez: *Grimaces* Ugh, I don't even know WHY I have that movie. So glad I let Radium eat it.

Capri Monroe and NT: *giggling*

Matrix: *Laughing* I remember that! Which one was it?

Bez: I don't remember, they all have the same plot.

Sigma: Pretty much.

Everyone else: *laughter*

Bez: Oh, right, I wanted to add something-Capri and NT, you two reminded me. *Shudder* Urg, fangirls! First of all, being a Bond fangirl doesn't make any sense-what's your goal in life: to be found, used, and ditched by a guy who'll be doing the same thing to someone else in a matter of minutes? Pretty lousy life ambition if you ask me.

Sigma: *Sigh* Just once, I'd like to see him fail a mission miserably.

Bez: I empathize, but then we'd all "die".

Indy: And that's why James Bond is such a freakin Mary Sue, a Senna Sue to be exact!

NT and Pippi: *Groaning in disgust and nodding*

Ocean Elf: Unless it was a mission pitting him against Slender Man! Oh, wait, we're all doing that one anyway.

Characters: *Groan*

Ocean Elf: *Laughs*

Ameh: Well, if they wrote a movie where he went on a mission, trying to blow out the competition from some other agent who was actually going about things the decent way, that other person could win the day, and James Bond could be found out as working for the wrong side and not knowing about it until he completely botched something.

Capri Monroe: *Wicked chuckle, grins at Ameh* I like your way of thinking, m'dear.

Ameh: Hehe!

Pippi: *Smiles* That's our Ameh.

Ameh: Hehehe! Thanks guys! Yes, it would be great to see him mess things up and make himself look like an idiot and have some girl he did the nasty with, turn out to be a big time user. Maybe then people would be less dismissive of his playing around.

Matrix: Just a side-note, on the whole Starscream/Cherie thing: Oh my goodness, what a terrifying thought. Cherie without followers was a big enough pain in the gear shaft-if she had a pack of fanboys-I don't know if we could have stopped her. You'd have to be a pretty messed up cookie to be a fan of hers, so you can imagine what we'd be up against!

NT: Ewwww! Like what if Cherie and Starscream fell in -

Indy: *rams fist up against NT's mouth* Don't even say it! ugh!

Pippi, Capri and Ameh: Ewww, gross!

NT: *Giggles* Sorry Indy!

Bez: *dry heaves*

Sigma: You okay?

Bez: Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about the possibilities there-Starscream-wise and Cherie wise-and I threw up in my mouth.

Matrix: Gross.

Indy: Yeah, just, ugh! You and Nt should get into writing horror flicks! *Laughing*

Bez: Well, it's a gross thought! *Shakes head* Anyway, you're totally right, Pippi. James Bond isn't nearly as great as he thinks he is, and if any of those ladies had an once of brain in their breezy little heads, they'd have realized that!

Matrix: *Smiles* Hey, Bez.

Bez: H'm?

Matrix: Spoons!

Bez: *Bursts out laughing* Crud, Matrix, no more inside jokes-we'll have to explain them all!

Sigma: *Shakes head* Interesting how James Bond led to "spoons".

Bez: Yeah, well, that's how we work. Anyway...

Matrix: James Bond is a man-slut.

Bez: Precisely. He makes no sense, and yet...people but it. *shakes head* Sheesh...

Pippi: What's rather pathetic and hilarious is that James Bond fans who claim to dislike Mary Sues would probably go ballistic if we told them they were fans of a huge Gary Stu.

Capri Monroe: *Laughs* Slightly.

Ocean Elf: Now, after all that - I have a little confession to make.

Indy: Huh? *Puzzled disconcerted look*

Ocean Elf: Much as I dislike all the affairs, there is one thing I love about the franchise. No, two things, actually.

Characters: *Confused looks*

Ocean Elf: Hehe! I like that there is lots of action so that IMO James Bond would work very well with all the screwing around were taken out.

Characters: *Smiles and relieved looks*

Indy: For a moment I thought you were starting to lose your mind. That wouldn't bode well for any of us characters either.

Ocean Elf: *Laughs* Not to worry. And the second thing I love is the music. Well, some of it anyway. The James Bond theme is full of action and hints at danger. And it can be a major earworm! Here are some recordings.




There's even a piano tutorial, though it gives me ideas, I would change some things when trying to learn how to play it. And I just might if it doesn't get out of my head. And that isn't exactly convenient when there is other music that needs to be worked on.

James Bond Piano Version

And here is a dance version

I also like Golden Eye and this song.



Foefiction page

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