There once was this dealive cannibalistic bully named Kevin.

He got his kicks scaring little kids into spamming their friends with his balderdash memes. In addition, he howled like an idiot laughing at the mere sight and sound of little kids crying and running to their parents for protection. Or simply crying because they had fallen and hurt themselves. He was that sick.

One day, he wandered into a district that had an elementary school. "Oh, great, more little kids to scare! I'll just go into this house here."

So Kevin climbed the front steps and slunk in when the door was already open. No one saw him.

He looked around and saw that there was a basement. He snuck down.

But there were no little kids anywhere. All the occupants of the house were adults.

Then, it dawned on him. The kids who were old enough to write and pass on chain letters were in school.

So he decided to hang around and wait for them to come home.

But they never did.

Only the Ocean Elf came down to the basement to practice, then watch TV while doing email and mangling memes on her computer.

Kevin sighed inwardly. No kids. And there was no sign of impending panic from the elf.

Suddenly, Kevin became aware of someone coming toward him, hemming him in behind the chair.

It was Ocean Elf, and she was coming for him!

Kevin stood silently, unsure what would happen next.

"So, you want to eat me alive, do you?" the elf drawled out menacingly."

"It wasn't meant for you," Kevin stammered. "It was meant for some little kid!"

"That makes you all the more wanted - by me - for bullying little kids, and being a cannibal."

"I'm not! I just said that to scare them!" Kevin squeaked.

"You - just said it - " Ocean Elf mocked. "So you're a liar."

"I guess I ticked off the wrong person." Kevin said.

The elf said nothing, but stared impassively at him.

Kevin screamed.

"Well, I told you I'd do it!" said the elf.

Kevin felt a rush of pain and terror. It didn't last long.

when it was over, he tried to run away.

The elf shoved him through a door.

"Ah, we got another inmate," said one of the two big, burly figures advancing on Kevin. "What's his story?"

The weird thing about these men was they were translucent.

"He started this meme, and it frightened some kids and made lulz-addicted trolls happy." Ocean Elf replied, tapping her electronic device. On the screen was Kevin's chain letter. Another tap resulted in a printout that reproduced in black lettering on a translucent green panel on a wall, serving as some kind of bulletin board.

While the information was being processed, Kevin was ushered into a holding cell.

We'll make sure he's taken care of." another shadowy figure was saying to Ocean Elf as she made her exit.

For two and a half weeks, Kevin sat in that ghost jail cell, with no word from anyone about how long he would have to stay.

Here, there was no one to scare, and nobody cared about his unhappiness. The inmates were too ticked off with their own situations to care about anyone else's, and the jail staff only said they were jailed because they did something to deserve it.

Kevin was referred to by number instead of by name.

Kevin would've been glad to see anyone from outside this shadowy prison, even the elf who brought him here. The boredom, lack of attention and power were killing him slowly.

Then some prison ghost guards came to see him very early in the morning. Without explanation, they opened his cell and escorted him out of it.

Once out of the jail, they didn't set him free, but hustled him into a translucent white ghost car.

There was some talk among the driver and the guards who settled into the vehicle on either side of Kevin. From what he could gather, they were taking him to some establishment that was expecting his arrival in a couple of days. They drove for about an hour, and then the scene changed from transparent, translucent shadowy people and structures to solid colours, as the ghost town was left behind.

"I never thought I'd see normal cars and streets again." Kevin said, relief clear in his voice.

"Not many that end up in Ghost Jail get to, so consider yourself lucky that way." one of the guards replied.

The rest of that trip was uneventful, and Kevin slept through much of it. The guards and driver occasionally struck up conversation with one another, but their talk was about things and people of whom Kevin apparently knew or cared nothing.

Kevin didn't keep track of how long they were on the road. He was awakened in the early morning with a "We're here." and a shake from one of the guards.

Kevin jolted awake in his seat. "Where's here?"

Come on, let's go." said the other guard.

Kevin was not allowed time to stretch, yawn, and rub his eyes before the guards worked to haul him out of the backseat.

It was an odd scene, with the ghost guards and car being the only shadowy things among everything else being solid colour, but the people at the establishment evidently knew about them. It was a restaurant called "You Are What You Eat" and their breakfast stop for that day.

When the guards brought Kevin inside, they were greeted by a smiling server who indicated a table.

Oh, we aren't staying, we have another trip to make," said one guard.

"One that can't wait."

"As always," the server said with a fiendish grin. "Well, we are glad to have him." He indicated Kevin.

So the guards left Kevin on his own at what turned out to be a Cannibal restaurant!

That spelled the end of Kevin's rein of terror.


Foefiction Page


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