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What's In a Name

The following came out of an email discussion we were having about writing and characters.

BP: Heh! Thanks. I like to have the names just right...so sometimes it takes forever to find one that fits, but it's worth it in the end.

Ocean Elf: Hehe I'm the same way. Names are the most personal things, and they have to be right for the character or it just doesn't work.

BP: Exactly! That's why one of the questions on a lot of the Mary Sue character tests bothers me- the whole "Did you spend more than a day finding just the right name" one. It's like, so what if I did? The name has to be right, or it just doesn't work! What do want me to do, saddle my character with some random moniker? I think not.

Ocean Elf: Exactly! This is why I think most Mary Sue tests are far too hung up and hard on people who *gasp* give their characters names they like! If you don't care about, or dislike a name, it's just not going to work for a character you're supposed to like spending time with.

It's also a good way to trip them up when it comes to famous authors giving their own characters names they like. If you're going to get nit-picky about it and call a character a Mary Sue based on this criteria, then Harry Potter is a Gary Stu by those standards. There are other reasons Harry Potter is well-qualified as a Gary Stu.

Can't imagine yours or my characters with different names.

Give a character you mean to be absolutely deplorable a name of a good friend, or even a name you'd rather use for a good character? Just doesn't work. A wicked psycho who goes around torturing people, could I name her something like Bree, or name him Robbie? Uh, no.

And Indy - what else to call her? Heh. She's just Indy, no other name suits her.

Rename Capri Monroe something like, uh, Michelle Jackson? Er, no!

And Bez just wouldn't be Bez by any other name. Lol!

BP: Exactly! *nods* It's like, how am I supposed to work with my heroes if I can't stand their names? Eh, I don't think so! Trying to think of characters with different names- bleah, just doesn't work. Like what if Bez were really named Hortense? Or if Sigma were named Rubella? How about Thande named Ed? *shudder* Oh, heh, say, Indy named Francesca! It just doesn't work! But, it is somewhat funny. *smile*

Ocean Elf: Lol! And Rubella sticks out especially for being a disease. That would surely be cruel and unusual punishment for a character name. :)

I laughed while reading this message!

Oh, and how about Criterion named Jethro?

ROTF!

BP: Hahahahah! Oh, sheesh, no! *grin* Thing is, I like the sound of the name Jethro, but on Criter? Eh, pass! Heheheh! Oooh, how about Matrix named Doug or Ronald? Oh, goodness, the list of bum names goes on!

Ocean Elf: Lol This is fun!

Matrix as - Ronald!? Lololol - I think not!

And - let's see, what else can I come up with?

Madonna Gale as Mildred?

Madonna Gale: What!? I don't think so!

Ocean Elf: Hahahahaha!

Senna as Capri:

Capri Monroe: *Scowls* NOT!

Ocean Elf: NT as Miranda.

NT: *Disgusted expression* Ewwwwwwwwww, NO! No, no, NO!

Ocean Elf: Ameh as - Bertha.

Character contingent: *Snickers all around*

Ameh: Wha!? No the heck way! Hahahahaha!

Ocean Elf: Pippi as - Harriet?

Indy: Rofl!

Pippi: *Splutters, incredulous expression* Uh, no, definitely not! And you can't rename me anything because you didn't name me in the first place.

Ocean Elf: True. But how would you feel if we could? Let's try another. Gretel as - Aslema.

Gretel: *Chortles* Uh, no!

Ocean Elf: Bez as - - Marissa. Ugh!.

BP: Hahahahaha! *grin* Oh, that's great! Heheh!

Bez: Hey, speak for yourself! You didn't get slapped with Marissa!

BP: Oh, pipe down, or I'll think of something worse!

Bez: I'd like to see you try.

Ocean Elf: Ooooh, character dare! And she will too, Bez, just watch out.

BP: Well, you asked for it...how about, Gloria?

Capri Monroe: *Bursts out laughing*

Bez: Ack! It burns!

Madonna: *Laughing* Not as much as - Senna!

BP: Meheheh! You brought this on yourself. Now, let's move on...how about Ameh as Brunhilde? Or perhaps Gertrude?

Ameh: *Bursts out laughing incredulously* Ugh! Gloria may only burn, but these two annihilate!

Characters: *Laughter all around*

BP: Oooh, I've got one: Capri named Adelaide!

Capri Monroe: Wha!? *Shocked expression* Er, not quite! *Laughs*

Heidi: Yeah, now you know why I rarely use my given name! *Grins*

Pippi: Oh, right - well, if we named Capri Adelaide, we'd have to give you her name. Urgh, confusion! *Laughs*

Misery Chastain: You think yours is bad?

Gretel: Welcome to the party!

Indy: Well, the neat thing is you're the opposite of what your name means.

Misery Chastain: I try. *Grins* And thanks for the welcome, Aselma and Francesca! *Mischievous grin*

Indy: Hey you -

Gretel: Hahahaha! How about - Marilee for you?

Misery Chastain: *Horrified expression* Oh, no, not that, please, not that!

NT: Holy crap! *Giggles* Don't get on Gretel's bad side!

Gretel: *Wicked grin*

Matrix: Ooh, can I play?

BP: Knock yourself out.

Ocean Elf: Welcome to the party!

Gretel: Hahaha! This is going to be good!

Matrix: *giggle* Let's see...how about Capri as Calista? Or Pippi as Donatella?

Capri Monroe: *Shudder* ugh! *Laughing Sounds like an alcoholic drink!

Pippi: *Grins* Calista definitely doesn't suit you. Donatella sounds like a mash-up of my first two given names, so, not bad, not bad!

Bez: Where do you get these names?

Matrix: Well, I am a holobot, Bez.

Bez: Figures...

NT: But what does that have to do with it?

Diane: You guys are a riot!

Carma: Yeah, can we join?

Gretel: Of course you can!

Carma: Okay, how about - Diane renamed Stella?

Diane: *Cough, cough* Just for that, Carma, I'll stick you with - Ida!

Carma: Ouch! That hurt!

Sigma: My turn!

Ameh: Cool!

Bez: Well, well, look who finally came to the party!

Sigma: No need to be rude. How about Thande named Gwilym?

NT: Hehe! Slightly better than Ed at any rate!

Bez: You just made that up.

Sigma: Did not.

Bez: Did too.

Sigma: I did not! It's Welsh.

Bez: That explains it.

Pippi: Ah, the Welsh version of William. *Smiles*

BP: Hey, hey, behave you two! Or I'll saddle ya both with rotten names.

Indy: LOL!

Other characters: *chuckle and giggle*

Bez: Yeah, well, you already did that to me, oh mighty writer. *sticks out tongue*

Sigma: You probably deserved it.

Ocean Elf: *Smirks*

Bez: Oh yeah? How about Sigma named Delores? Or Antonia? How ya like THOSE names?

Ameh: *Laughing* Eek!

BP: OKAY, I think you two have had enough name calling for today.

Elsa: There's only one word for that - WRONG! *Chuckles*

Capri Monroe: Hey, when did you show up?

Elsa: I've been here the whole time.

Capri Monroe: Why didn't you speak up before now?

Elsa: Couldn't get a word in edgewise.

Gretel: Oh! Okay, let me think of one for you then, elsa. How about - Minerva!

NT: Oh, yuck!

Elsa: Hahaha! Good and creepy. Sometimes it comes pretty close to suiting me.

Capri Monroe: Uh, I don't think it does.

Elsa: That's because I am not your enemy.

Nt: Wow.

Misery Chastain: Don't mind my saying so, Elsa, but I've noticed you can get dang unnerving when you want to be.

Elsa: Ya think?" *Wicked grin*

Madonna Gale: I have a question, now that we're on the subject of names.

Ocean Elf: *sheepish look, muttering* Uh-oh, it had to be just a matter of time.

Madonna Gale: I've known some of you longer than others, Ocean Elf's crew. Which means I'm one of yours, right? *Looks at Ocean Elf*

Ocean Elf: Correct. And you want to know about your name?

Madonna Gale: *Nods and smiles. "Yes! *she sounds relieved to finally get the nerve to ask.

Ocean Elf: I haven't decided if Gale is a middle name or a surname, if I can find a surname that seems to fit, you will have Gale as a middle name along with Frances.

Madonna Gale: So, I'm Madonna Frances Gale - is that for Frances Gum and Dorothy Gale by any chance? *Looks hopeful*

Ocean Elf: Correct.

Madonna Gale: It's an honour to be named for such legends, thanks!

Ocean Elf: You are welcome. Yes, you have a love of that movie in common with me.

Madonna Gale: Very cool! - So, that leaves - Madonna. *Clears throat and fidgites* I couldn't have been named after either one. The painting of the Virgin or - or - *falters and looks at Ocean Elf*

Ocean Elf: "Can you sing?

Madonna Gale: Yes.

Ocean Elf: Sing something. *turns recording device on*

Madonna Gale: What should I sing?

Ocean Elf: Just the first phrase of 'Over The Rainbow'.

Madonna Gale: *looks puzzled, but does as asked.

Other characters: smile in approval.

Ocean Elf: Who does she sound like, everyone? Madonna the pop star, or Judy Garland?

Indy: She sounds more like Madonna - I mean, the notorious one if she had been a good girl.

Several characters *nodding*

Ocean Elf: What's more, you look like the nice girl version of her before she went blonde. And you lack that mean tone in your speaking voice.

Madonna: How is that possible?"

Ocean Elf: *turns off recorder* Listen. *plays it back*

Madonna Gale: *listens, expression turning shocked* Oh my - you're right, I do sound like her... Why? Why did you do this to me?

Ocean Elf: I never liked what she stood for, but even so, I always liked her singing voice.

Madonna Gale: So, what does this make me? Some kind of freakish Mary Sue?

Ocean Elf: *Looks at MG reassuringly* Of course not. You're not the first to have features or been named after someone else, you're not a me-clone or an idealized version of me, and most of all, you don't behave like a Mary Sue. But I put off telling you about your name origin since the pop star's abominable behaviour especially in recent years, because I wasn't sure how you might take it. I'm aware of how hard you cringe when there is news of the latest audacity from that person..

Madonna Gale: That's true - and it's always when I thought of asking you the question, but my nerve gave out every time.

NT: Don't worry, we know you and the pop diva are nowhere near each other in the personality department.

Elsa: And if it'll make you feel any better, I have the opposite sort of but similar problem, not named after anyone, but it just so happens that Disney named one of their princesses as Elsa. Argh! *Grimaces* Of all the names they could've picked, it had to be the same as mine. And no, I do not like that song - you know the one...

Madonna Gale: *Grins and bursts out laughing* You all are the greatest. Okay, we'll make the best of it. I just have one more thing to say - never *EVER* not even as a joke, do not *EVER call me Madge!

Ocean Elf: You got a deal! That really doesn't suit you.

Characters: *All indicate agreement*

Madonna Gale: *Big smile* Thanks!

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