🤦🏽‍♀️ 🧝‍♀️


257 Things A Girl Wished A Guy Knew

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uchk, this thing is just pathetic! I was looking through Facebook when this nasty crossed my path. I suppose I knew what I was getting into when I decided to take a look at it, but after I read a few, I just couldn't stand it anymore. This thing majorly smacks of those stupid chains about how a guy should treat a girl. You know, the ones that get practically worshiped by zillions of girls. Well, enough is enough! I'm takin' on every single one of these 257 points, so, prepare for a long, but hopefully worth it, mangle!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, wow, count me in! This is terrible.

I'm not the only one who noticed just how one-sided and sexist this is. Video warning about the bit of colourful language in there, there is one f-bomb but he does summarize the atrocious attitude this chain letter promotes that too many women just love.


👸Meme: All girls secretly love a guy who can sing.(MEGA-Turn-On)

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, gimme a break! *rolls eyes* You'd be one of those girls back in my Algebra 2 class drooling over the singer of some random garage band. He was an obnoxious, arrogant, perverted stink-face, and I personally hope something horrible happens to him. So, your little 'all girls' just got thrown out the window. :P

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* And don't confuse love with lust - a turn-on isn't love, it's infatuation.

👸Chain: Just so you know, girls want to smell you from 10, 6, or even 2 feet away.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ewwww, ewwwww, EWWWWW! NO!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Um...as in, smell his man-stink? Don't think so! How on EARTH is that a good thing?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ewwwwww! *Makes horrible face and Gags*

👸Meme: Girls HATE players!!!!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, DUH! What girl likes being taken advantage of? Well, actually, there are some wacked out girls who thrive on that kind of treatment, but MOST girls...not so much.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: True, some girls really go for the bad boys. I'm recalling at least one fictional character who did, and it wasn't one I wrote.

👸Meme:. Most girls love cudlles

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: H'm! Most, sure, and way to spell 'cuddles'. *rolls eyes*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Heh, that gave my computer spell-check a seizure. well -, I'm not exactly the cuddling type unless you want to count interactions with pets.

👸Meme:We love it when you put your arm around us at the movies.(especially the scary ones)

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, what? How about not? You assume EVERY stinkin' girl likes to have some guys arms all over her. Pass!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bleck! I'd rather not have some guy put his arms around me during a scary movie. For one thing, I'm not that kind of freaked out and the idea just seems patronizing to me. "Awww, don't worry, little woman, I'll keep you safe from the big bad monster." Yeah, take a hike, dude!

👸Meme: We don't need you to be Superman. We just need you to be there.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Am I supposed to be bowled over by that nugget of wisdom? A-derp-derp!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, no, I don't need anyone in that way. I'll pick SuperMan.

👸Meme: Please, if you really need to talk about your size, use your guy friends, not us.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Ehm, why do I have a feeling I don't even wanna go there?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ditto, but I'll address this anyway with my own idea for this kind of guy. Just go away, because I want nothing to do with any guy who cares about his... and thinks he has to talk about it at all outside of a doctor's office due to some medical concern or procedure.

👸Meme:. Pretty much all girls like to talk about something, so feel free to call us.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Psh, yeah, sure,, just throw us all into the chatty bus, why don't ya. Look, if I wanna talk, I'll talk, but I don't want some guy callin' me whenever he dang feels like it!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Same here. What if he calls and wakes me up? Anyone who knows me well enough, also knows there are times when I'm anything but chatty. What if I just want to watch a game, or practice, write out a meme-mangle or story section? Sure, I can be talky, but well, I'm not just hankering and waiting, ready and available for some guy to ring me up and yack any time, anywhere...

👸Meme: .We LOVE suprises, that is , the good ones.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh? Not everyone likes surprises, you know. Some people hate them.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I love good surprises as much as anyone, guy or girl, being pleasantly surprised really isn't gender-specific. But your idea of good and mine might be different.

👸Meme: Don't ever try to impress us by cursing or fighing. It doesn't work; you just look like a jerk.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: The cursing yes, but what if he's fighting for what he believes in? Lemme guess, you're more into the ultra sensitive piano-playin' poetry-spoutin' softy, right?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well, it goes without saying that I'm not going to be impressed by guys who curse and go around brawling like apes. But some girls are just as bad for this!

👸Meme: When you pick on the girl you like, she won't think your interested or cool. She'll just think that you're mean. (Ah the logic.. of girls...)

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, yeah, most people tend to think that when you're mean to them you don't like them. Kinda common sense. For BOTH genders.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That should be a no-brainer. So why some schoolboys didn't clue in and probably still don't to this day I'll never understand. But some girls actually like mean bad guys. Again, remembering some airhead girl fictional characters.

👸Meme: . Every girl wants to feel special, even if its just to you.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: That's not just a girl thing. Doesn't EVERYONE want to feel like they matter?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Well said, BP.

👸Meme: .Being able to make your girl laugh = MAJOR brownie points!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What if he's an awesome guy all around but lacks a sense of humor? What's it matter if he makes you laugh?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Check out what's said about this in the mangle of the True Boyfriend chain. And laughter among friends and family is not tender-related, I enjoy a good laugh at work, at church, at home etc.

👸Meme: .Guitarists = sexy Pianists = sensitivty

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wha? So are you saying the type of instrument he plays actually determines if he's sensitive and whether he's sexy to you or not? What if he plays both, or none?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *rolls eyes* Yeah, well, I had you pegged as that type. Way to spell 'sensitivity'. Would it kill ya to use spell check? And you know what, TONS of musicians are absolute jerks.

👸Meme: We absolutly HATE it when you break a promise to us. It completely devastates us.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, doesn't EVERYONE? When someone breaks a promise, it sucks. No matter what gender you are. Are you implying that guys don't care if someone breaks a promise to 'em? Oh, lemme guess, if YOU break a promise to a guy, it's okay, but if HE breaks a promise, well, that's a deal-breaker.Yeah, THAT sounds fair. Not.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: For sure! It's a two-way street, as BP said, chick. I tend to have a range of feelings from mildly disappointed and annoyed to seriously ticked off, but that all depends on the situation, the sort of promise, who made it, why they broke it etc. Someone could promise to get a cd burned for me by the end of the day, but then a bunch of stuff could come up in the mean time, and they'd apologize and say they didn't get it done. No biggie at all on the personal front, life's like that.

👸Meme: .Here's something that girls are tought: When a guy says that you're hot, he's looking at your body. When he says that you're pretty, he's looking at your face. When he says that you're beautiful, he's looking at your heart. Remember that when you complement a girl......

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, the cheesiness! It burns!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, not this again! Look, compliments on appearance have never been my cup of tea. If he thinks you're a great person, wouldn't he just say 'You're nice' or something? But no, you want to be called beautiful because you've built it up in your head as this be-all end-all compliment. I'm sure PLENTY of guys have called girls beautiful only to leave 'em as soon as they found some other 'beautiful' person. Besides, some people can look beautiful and be absolute jerks. So, that's YOUR pathetic reason all shot to pieces.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Applauds* BP has it right on the nose. And a perfect example of a beautiful person with no heart is the fictional character Miranda in some of the stories at Fictionlands. She's got great looks, but no heart.

👸Meme: . Ask any girl... She'll have no idea what the hell a guy means when he says that she's "cute".

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: So what? Why would anyone just go up to a girl and ask "What does it mean when a guy says you're cute?" Dipstick...

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, how about that he thinks she's cute? Is that such a complicated concept?

👸Meme: . We can tell when you aren't listening, and, yeah, it kind of pisses us off. If were boring you, at least have the decensy to tell us!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And give you an opportunity to go postal on him for telling you you're boring instead of beautiful? He wouldn't dare if he values his life, not when dealing with a nut like you.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah, yeah, but would you tell HIM if he were boring you? Maybe he's being polite, maybe he zoned out, and yes, MAYBE, just MAYBE, you aren't quite as riveting as you thought! Imagine THAT!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: LOL!

👸Meme: . When we say the we're cold, we either want you to come closer or give us your jacket. Tip: If you really want to impress your girl, hold her tight and put your jacket around her while you're still wearing it. Its amazingly romantic! (as long as you don't grope her)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh! As has been said in the mangle of the To Every Girl chain, chick, have the sense to bring your own dang jacket! And I've used the word 'cold' many times during my life as everyone including guys have. It does not always signify a girl wants a guy to give up his jacket or put hers on her, not by a long shot! It has never meant such thing when I've used the word!

Oh, and unlike the stupid entitled brats of the subculture known as feminism, I do not think air conditioning is sexist! I dress warm for work during the time of year it is required.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, gag me with a spoon! How about, "I'm cold." just means "I'm cold." It doesn't mean 'Gimme your jacket' or 'Hug me!'. If you want him to give you his jacket, ask for it. And if you ask me, he has the right to say no. Maybe you ought to have actually USED your brain and brought your own dang jacket.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Smiles broadly* Yeah! Pretty stupid freezing your butt off just to get a guy catering to you and 'romantically' sacrificing his own comfort for you. Selfish and stupid on your part, chick.

👸Meme: . Hugs can mean more than kisses sometimes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: DUH! And that goes for both genders, chick.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Sometimes, eh? You're probably the kind of person who buys into that 'close your eyes when you kiss' stuff. :P

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Cough* Oh, I remember that chain letter, what a pile of crap!

👸Meme: . If you wait for the perfect moment, the perfect momnet will pass you by. In other words, if you want to ask her out, just do it!\

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Again, DUH! If you want to ask someone out, then do it! Sheesh...

👸Meme: . We'd really appreciate it if you didn't hold the things we do during our time of the month against us. It isn't exactly our fault, and we aren't being ourselves.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *sigh* And you know what, I bet they can't hold anything you do against you at ANY time, you whiny, clingy, little twerp.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not to mention the claim about not being ourselves is rubbish. Honestly, we don't turn into raging, moody monsters during that time, and I really think both genders need to stop making such a big deal over it. Read what I say about statement 20 in the Tips For Guys chain.

👸Meme: .Please give us the same respect you would to any other human and look us in the eyes. (yes we do notice when your eyes wander)

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Speak for yourself, chick. And you need to take the first part of that advice real close to home.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh my freakin' gosh, this thing just keeps going ON AND ON AND ON! Shoot me now, PLEASE!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahahaha!

👸Meme: .We want the same respect that you give to other guys, but we really don't want you to treat us like them...(chest bumbs are never ok)

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: The way you use 'other guys' implies that you are a male. I know you don't mean it that way, but it's slightly amusing to one who actually has a brain and can comprehend such difficult concepts as how to formulate a sentence.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And how does chest bumbs equal treating the other guys like the other guys? I'll tell you what always irked me about guys in chat rooms, they always entered or left the chat rooms with cyber hand-shakes for the guys and cyber-hugs or flowers for the girls. Ack! None of that flirty stuff for me, just give me a cyber-hand-shake!

👸Meme: .Never cheat!!! Girls know how to spread news fast so you don't just ruin one relationship, you prevent others from happening too.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, same advice as in statement 2 of the Tips For Guys and the True Boyfriend chain. Cuts both ways, chick...

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: DUH! Sheesh, these are all so freakin' obvious!

👸Meme:. When you're on a date with a girl, keep your eyes on her face and off other girls' bodies. That's just rude.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Let's see, that's obvious comment number, what? I think I lost track around ALL OF THEM!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yes, geesh, no-brainers being passed off as some kind of forwarding profundity. Fail.

👸Meme: .Not all girls are about money. The one who are give us all a bad name.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *headdesk* Oh, please let the obviousness stop! It burns!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, you might claim not to be about money, but you have your own set of issues that make you look shallow and clingy nonetheless.

👸Meme: . It's weird when you take longer to get ready than we do....

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No it isn't. I pride myself on taking very little time to get ready for anything, work, church, family gatheringg, you name it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What, so you gonna dump him for it? Wouldn't put it past ya.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahahaha!

👸Meme: .If you ask us nicely, we'll usually answer in the same way.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Works both ways, and of course, the question itself has to be reasonable too.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Common sense, you twit!

👸Meme: . It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But let me guess, if you forgot HIS birthday, it'd be fine. Don't even try to defend yourself. I know the kind of person YOU are.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: WHA!? Holy cow, chick, you twinked out, self-centred little brat, I forget birthdays all the time, and in my opinion, it takes a special kind of stupid to forget your own jacket and make the guy give up his for you, so, there! Read what's said about statement 26 in the Tips For Guys chain.

👸Meme: . Not all women are bad drivers.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: DUH! Pointing out the obvious 101! Look at what's said regarding statement 21 in the Tips For Guys chain.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Neither are all guys. Your point?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: She has none. I do, however. Not all guys think women are all bad drivers. In addition, being a bad driver is not gender-specific.

👸Meme: . Not all women are ditzes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Says the ditz who thinks it's cool to start chain letters and make a guy freeze to death for her.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You're not doing such a good job of proving that...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol. I don't know what the percentages are, but am pretty sure most women aren't ditzes.

👸Meme: Anything you say or do with another girl that you don't want us to know is considered cheating.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whaaaat? Wait, what if he's consulting with his sister about what might be a good idea for your dang birthday present?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, I guess he can't plan a surprise party for you with the help of your parents and friends, then. Using your logic, he'd be cheating on you with your mom, and all your female friends! Hmm, but maybe since it's a surprise party, and we all LOVE surprises, maybe that would even it out somehow. *flat expression*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bwahahaha! No kidding, what a screw-up!

👸Meme: . When you say you don't like it when we wear makeup, don't just leave it at that. It helps to tell us why.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, for the love...this is insane...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh you're pathetic. I suppose you want him to butter you up something awful and tell you you're pretty. It's not good enough that he's simply contented with your natural appearance and you're not, you always want more and more, and more flattery. *Rolling eyes*

👸Meme: It absolutely floors us when you know our favorite color, shoe size, flower, T.V. show, movie, artist, etc. See, we aren't that hard to please.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Chick, you're not making sense. If you really care about somebody, you're gonna try to know at least a bit about some of their preferences, and this cuts both ways.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But, you don't have to know diddly about any of his favorites. How fair. Not.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol!

👸Meme:. This one may seem weird. We love keeping your hoodies/jackets because: they remind us of you, they smell like you, and it makes us feel like you're there holding us even when you aren't.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, speak for yourself!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Girl, you are weirding me out. Stop with the dang blasted hoodie/jacket thing already!

👸Meme: . NEVER EVER HIT A GIRL!!!!!!!!! Even if she hits you first....it's just wrong.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Okay, you are aware that abuse goes both ways, right? A girl can abuse a guy and it still counts. But, you could hit him over the head with a glass vase, and it'd be fine, I'm sure. If he throws a paper airplane at you, it counts as hitting, and therefore, he's a violent abusive jerk. You will then proceed to ruin his life. 'cause you're awesome like that. *rolls eyes*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: BP has it exactly right. And as I said in the Tips For Guys meme-mangle, one turn deserves another.

👸Meme: . When you're dating a girl and you introduce her to your friends, you had better say that she's your girlfriend.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *extremely annoyed sigh* I addressed that in the Tips For Guys and the True Boyfriend chains, as well. Stop repeating yourself. If I was your girlfriend, which I'm not, I'm not the sort to flake out and go to pieces if you forget to use the word 'girlfriend' when introducing me, and once you have, there certainly wouldn't be any need to continue re-introducing me again and again.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What if this is your first date? Creepy much?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, heck yeah! Oy.

👸Meme: When it comes to gifts, we'd prefer something that has meaning rather than something with a big pricetag.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Coming from you? Hah! But it does hold true for me, I don't want guys emptying their pocketbooks for me, and I have a few reasons for this.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: When will the obviousness stop!?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Probably at statement 257!

👸Meme: The best thing that you can be to any girl is her friend. Friendship always comes before any good romantic relationship.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: DUH! Big honking DUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Excuse me, I'll be repeatedly hitting my head on the door until you can come up with something that isn't mindbogglingly obvious!

👸Meme: Have I metioned that we like respect?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You don't just like it, you demand it, and IMO you don't deserve it if you don't give it in turn.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, SHUT UP.

👸Meme: All girls want to be told I LOVE YOU now and then and possibly whisper it in her ear when you are having a moment.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Eh, creepy?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Groans* While it's appreciated from hearing this from family members as an added expression of what else, love, I'm not the kind of girl who wants some random guy turning into an "I love you" bot for me, ewww. And if I was in a relationship, well, I'm just not that demanding. If he says it, he says it...

👸Meme: Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means she's attracted to you, but she's afraid that she'll be showing too much.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Just as in the mangle of the When A Girl/Guy chain, I call: BULL...CRAP! To throw your own words back at you, it takes a special kind of stupid to think being mean equals liking somebody and getting that somebody to eventually like you.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Psh! Then I must be attracted to at least four boys. Have you ever considered that some people are just, oh, I don't know, SARCASTIC? Wow, novel concept!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And when I'm sarcastic, believe you me, it's not anywhere near liking whoever's on the receiving end of it.

👸Meme: When you calm a girl down (and believe me, you will need to do this someday),

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wow, wonderful, you just described all girls as walking spaztastic time bombs that will, not just might, fly off the handle at any time and need the help of some guy to get herself back together again. This reads more like a how-to guide for taking care of a temperamental breed of animal than how to respect a girl as your equal, your fellow human being. I call that condescending, sexist trash!

👸Meme: try your hardest to make her laugh, but never make her feel stupid for being so worked up in the first place.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so you think all girls are as mindless and changeable as you and that a man can manage to make her laugh when she is worked up?

You can throw a piece of meat to a dog in the hopes of calming it down so it'll shut up but that doesn't always work even on them. You can try to humor a little kid out of having a tantrum and that doesn't always work either. But by your condescending implications you've just said that girls are emotionally more unstable than worked up children, and temperamental parrots, as easily passified or cajoled as the average dog or parakeet. and stupid to boot. Nice going!

How about the guys? what's a girl going to do when she has to calm him down? Should she try to make him laugh? is it possible? I doubt it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: So, while you're freaking out over a broken nail, your guy has to comfort you and be oh so wonderful, but when he gets worked up about losing his job, oh, well, he doesn't have any place being upset! And, oh, how you'll rub it in his face when things get back to normal. *glare* Idiot.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahaha! Great points, BP!

👸Meme: If you go through our purse, you probably won't like what you see. So please don't even bother going through it or you will get slapped.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But you can have his sweatshirts and hoodies, and can go through his locker and what-not whenever you want. Yeah, THAT sounds fair.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bwahahahaha! I rarely even have a purse with me and don't like anyone getting their hands on my stuff. Unlike you, though, I keep my hands off other people's stuff. I don't go around stealing and wearing guys' jackets.

👸Meme: Keep in mind that pretty much every girl has a group of guys(friends, brothers and her Daddy) who will beat the crap out of you if cross the line.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: That's just pathetic.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 'daddy'? you talk like a preppy. Anyway, the guys I know are far too civilized to do anything like that. It would have to be a case of immediate danger for things to escalate to that. I'll say the same thing I did about statement 3 in the Tips For Guys chain. Paranoid Gary Stus are uncool. You got that?

👸Meme: Girls dont like show-offs. Just be yourself we'll like you better that way and if a girl dosent like the real you she's not worth your time.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Didn't you already mention that? Broken record...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huge DUH! Doesn't apply to you, though! You're not the sort of girl who wants a guy to be himself, you want a pandering Prince Sappy 24/7 who would turn ultra caveman macho show-off and beat the tar out of any other guy for stepping a little too close to you!

👸Meme: Face it. Girls really aren't impressed when you spend the whole day showing off your muscles...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, and I'm not impressed with your silly chain letter.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Some girls are. Face it, there are shallow people in this world. :P

👸Meme: When shes upset hold her and tell her she'll be fine even if she says it wont, convince her it will be.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, since EVERYONE likes to be mangled by this stalker boyfriend. Pass!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: As was said in the True Stalker Boyfriend chain, don't try to humor, patronize, or give me false reassurances when I'm that upset. It doesn't happen often, and always with very good reason, and your putting your arms around me and telling me it's gonna be fine will not cut it when things are not fine and they are not going to be fine for a while. Nothing your true boyfriend does is going to make it all better...

👸Meme: Don't disrespect her in ANYWAY.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, and it also works both ways.

👸Meme: Now and again flatter her with compliments

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Or, as YOU would probably interpret it, every stinkin' day, and they have to be oh so 'beautiful', too. *rolls eyes* Pass the bucket, please.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Pass. Never flatter. Only compliment when you really mean it and not out of any sort of obligation. The best compliments are those that you don't even think before you speak, they are sincere and spontaneous.

👸Meme: Also if shes gettin hurt in anyway stand up for her dont stand and watch her get her shes your girlfriend for fudge sake!!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Duh! Any decent person with a backbone is not going to stand around like a dope and let their friend/gf/bf/spouse/family member get bullied! It's too bad there are so many spineless people out there, but it has nothing to do with gender, nor can you fix the problem with this stupid chain letter.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: So, if she gets a paper cut, you have to go all Superman- oops, you said that wasn't allowed...hmmm, what to do then? You're kinda stuck. Loser.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Roflol!

👸Meme: Don't think that just because you didn't tell us we are never going to find out.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: About what?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You seem kinda paranoid...

👸Meme: Our friends know EVERYTHING.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Unlikely. Last I checked, people on Earth aren't omniscient. Ooh, did I throw out a word too big for you?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahaha! Exactly, In case this chain originator didn't get it, I'll put it in simpler terms. Nobody knows everything, twit.

👸Meme: EVERYTHING said to our friends will be told to us. Garranteed.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Hah! Try not! And way to go, another spelling error! That's 'guaranteed'.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Friends don't even tell their friends everything, chick.

👸Meme: No matter what we say, we hate your ex-girlfriend.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Pff! Wow, insecure, aren't you?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No kidding. C'mon, Mary Sue chick, you're just like the Gary Stu in the Mens' Rules For Women chain letter. she's an ex for a reason. Get over it.

👸Meme: We check our phones every hour to see if you have replied to our texts, then worry if you haven't.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Wow...you need some help.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, this chick is scaring me.

👸Meme: The fact you might leave us for another girl keeps us up at night.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You REALLY need some help with that insecurity!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Guys, avoid this chain letter chick at all costs. If she gets her eye on you, run! Run for your lives! Don't let her entrap you in a life of servitude to her!

👸Meme: When we're not talking to you on MSN, we're actually waiting for you to talk to us (in a non-snobby way, we want to see if you still care enough to talk to us).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Get a clue, stop playing games. BTW, MSN messenger has been gone a long time.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, gimme a break! If you want him to talk to you, TALK TO HIM! He shouldn't have to do all this freakin' work just to talk to you! Idiot!

👸Meme: When we act sad, we want you to hug us.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: 'act' being the key word. If you want a hug, ask for it. Done.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: She's the sort who would act sad, too, rather than be genuinely sad just to get a hug. She'd freeze her butt off to get a guy to give up his jacket to her and then freeze his own butt off.

I don't have to be sad to hug people. I've been known to hug long lost friends I hadn't seen in years, I hug my siblings goodbye when family gatherings are through, I hug my parents when I'm excited about some great turn of events in my life.

👸Meme: Our favourite part of the MSN convo is at the end when you say good bye, because that's the part you say you love us.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh...My...Freakin...Gosh! You - are one pathetic - I dunno what!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Another spelling error! I think this is one of my least 'favorite' items you've listed so far. Oh, look! I actually spelled the word right!

👸Meme: We actually freak out on what to do during holidays like Valentines Day.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What are you kidding me?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, PLEASE! You know what I do on Valentine's Day? I watch a scary movie. I eat black licorice. I am content. All this hubbub over Valentine's is ridiculous!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahaha! No freak outs here either. I scarcely even notice Valentine's day, all I care about then is getting a little candy, and it's just as good if I buy it myself. Added bonus and very pleasant surprise if someone buys me a treat, and that person can be a friend or family member. I won't be upset if no one does, and certainly don't pine away if I get no attention from some guy on Valentine's Day.

Other holidays - I just look forward to and make plans, so, definitely don't fit your unhinged idea of what a girl is.

👸Meme: We don't care what our friends think of you, but we do care what your friends think of us.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah! Doublestandard!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: How does that make any sense?

👸Meme: Yes, you might be the reason we failed that Maths test.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Lemme guess. You were busy daydreaming about him. Or being mad at him. Or something equally STUPID.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And starting stupid chain letters about it.

👸Meme: We are very, very scared of scaring you away.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Which is very likely, since you're so freakin' clingy!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: To fix that, try a 180 in the personality department.

👸Meme: We don't care about what we talk about, just as long as we have your attention for a few minutes.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You are SERIOUSLY pathetic. You act like you'll die if you lose this guy.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yikes! Seriously guys, run for your lives! This unhinged freak-out chick is trouble!

👸Meme: Of course, we do believe the crap we read in magazines.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, NO! Gullible fools believe everything they read. Or just really naive people...you seem to be more of the gullible fool, though.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Guffaws* Well, that shouldn't be too shocking coming from an unglued ditz who writes chain letters.

👸Meme: We have mood swings. Get over it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And guys don't? Anyway, speak for yourself, dearie, but don't expect me to accept that excuse for your being a twinked out, self-centred brat.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: See! That's what I'm talkin' about! That's you saying "Whatever I do is fine because I'm a girl. You must be perfect because you are a boy." I freakin' hate that mentality. It's the sign of utter stupidity.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Plus hypocrisy, and this moodswings business and the whole "Guys, you'll eventually have to calm your girl down" thing. Bad stereotypes that need to be stamped out.

👸Meme: Every time you're around other girls, we worry they are better than us.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, shut it! *Scowls*

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Psh! Maybe to someone as insecure as you! I actually have this thing called 'self-esteem'. You probably haven't heard of it.

👸Meme: We don't want to hear how cool your ex-girlfriend/neighbour/best gal friend is.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: well you're not going to here how cool YOU are, because, you're not. you're such a Mary Sue character.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Ah-ha! I thought you didn't care what you talked about as long as you talk about something? And that's 'neighbor'! Sheesh, ever heard of spell check? Seriously!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, I wonder how many guys this chick talks about around the guy(s) she crushes on.

👸Meme: Movies like 'He's Just Not That Into You' depress us.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Never seen it. Sounds boring.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The guys probably wouldn't like it either. It is a chick flick! It's a pile of crappy characters in a real plot burner and I'm sorry to say that one character has your name. That movie wouldn't depress me, but make me annoyed and bored out of my head, wanting to punch all the characters in the face.

👸Meme: We will move mountains on our timetable if it means seeing you

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Again, no. :P

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: eww, get away!

👸Meme: We compare every other guy to you, and you always come out best.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: thought as much. *Rolling eyes* Sure explains your unhealthy competition with every other female in the universe.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *headdesk...again* This is killing me...

👸Meme: We hate it when you go to discos without us

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Discos? Do they even still do those? Sheesh...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That reference surprised me too. I thought they were just called dance clubs now.

👸Meme: We hate feeling as if we are like any other girl.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Tosses brick at chain chick's head* Oh, SHUT - UP!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh don't worry. You're totally unique. Just like everybody else. Meheheheh...!

👸Meme: Don't brag about other girls liking you, it just makes us insecure

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: While I agree that's incredibly tacky, rude and low class, you still make my skin crawl. Stop the freaking obsessing over other girls already!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You're already criminally insecure, remember?

👸Meme: When we say everything is 'fine', it generally means everything is absolutely horrible and we are on the brink of falling to pieces

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Or...that everything is fine. Ooooooh...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I really wonder if these chain letters were all originated by just one person. Look at what's said about this fine business in the When A Girl/Guy and the 9 Words Women Use chains.

👸Meme: Don't just say 'ok' when we say we don't want to talk about it

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Why? So you can chew him out for being insensitive or overbearing?


You know, your repeated plays and demands for attention make me sick!

Maybe he doesn't want to hear you go on and on about the girl you saw at the mall and you got insanely jealous of her because she happened to look in the direction of your crush or was just too criminally pretty so you felt threatened!

Suck it up and get a personality!

👸Meme: If you want to know something about us, ask our best friend

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That's just stupid. I don't use people like that.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Why can't he just ask YOU? That makes no sense!

👸Meme: If you do not hug us, we will not kiss you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatevs. *Yawn* I don't want to hug or *gag* kiss you anyway! Get out of here!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Why the heck does kissing matter so much!?

👸Meme: We think you are the best guy in the world.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Erm - I'm not a guy. But for any guy unfortunate or stupid enough to end up with the likes of you, you sure have a strange way of showing it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: If he's so awesome, why did you make him this list?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because she's a tyrant.

👸Meme: We.Will.Kill.You.If.We.See.You.Slow.Dancing.With.Another.Girl.Without.Telling.Us.


🤦🏽‍♀️BP: So, he can slow-dance with another girl if he tells you, but if he doesn't, you'll kill him? I thought you were practically dead whenever he wasn't around? Make up your mind!

👸Meme: We really do want you to stick up for us

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Already covered.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah! At this point, not even I would stick up for you.

👸Meme: Compliments. We love them

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Broken record...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Broken...record...Broken...Record. Brokenrecordbrokenrecordbrokenrecord *Poof* There goes another stack.

👸Meme: Be on time. We will think you don't care if you're not on time at a certain place.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: oh, and I'll just bet it's fine and dandy for you to be late and make him wonder...

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, my gosh...this list is going to kill me. It's going to stab me in the face and bury me in a ditch. This is insane.

👸Meme: Whether you say (L) or luv or love does matter.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Why? It means the same thing. Lemme guess, it's along the 'hot-pretty-beautiful' thing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't get it either. This is one freaking crazy chick.

👸Meme: We don't care if you couldn't come on that date because of the most embarrassing reason in the world, just don't lie to us.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But you'd lie through your teeth about the most trivial things. Yeah. That's fair.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, like saying she's fine when she's about to fall apart for example, or pretending not to be interested and trying to get the guy to chase after her on MSN, what a hypocrite.

👸Meme: We like cuddling up to you so let us.


🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You already said that. And I don't like cuddling. So STOP SAYING ALL GIRLS LIKE TO CUDDLE.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Especially when one of the two doesn't feel like cuddling, that should always be considered. The idea of getting touched when I don't want to be - just, ugh! It has happened. It is not at all pleasant.

👸Meme: Silent Treatment + Short Answers + Not Smiling or Laughing + Evil Looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Or, more likely, you're in one of your moods, you have mood swings, remember? And you just don't give a darn.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah! She's in one of her stupid moods again, probably just mad at her own reflection and imagining the guy looking at another girl.

👸Meme: You will be classed in our 'Hate' list if you forget our birthday.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, come on! You already freaked out about that!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: ARGH! Read what was said about that in the Tips For Guys and True Boyfriend meme-mangles again!

👸Meme: Do not ask what's wrong. We'll never tell you we just want you to cuddle us.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH! Put a sock in it! What is wrong is YOU!


👸Meme: You need to tell us what you think of us, we don't make assumptions (apart from 'OMG HE'S GONE OFF ME HASN'T HE?!')

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And that is the only assumption that matters with you because it is all your pathetic one-track mind thinks about!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: ...I don't even know what the parenthetical comment means. :S Shows you were my priorities are, doesn't it?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I think she means the only assumption she makes is "Waaaah! He's left me for another stupid wench!" only she wouldn't use the word 'wench'.

👸Meme: Telling us that we are pretty will mean absolute LOADS.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Vomits into bucket*

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Ha! You said 'pretty' was worthless! Got ya again, stupid-head!

👸Meme: Do not make fun of us unless we are in a good mood. As insecure as girls go, we take these things very seriously.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Gimme a break! I'm pretty sure you've whined about being insecure about seventy times already. Get over it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And her being in a good mood? Well, that wool never happen unless the whole female population got wiped out, except for her.

👸Meme: If you do end up doing Number 42, you just have to hope we aren't in a bad mood.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, I don't even remember what number we're on! How is a guy supposed to remember?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: The dang thing wasn't even numbered, at least not in this version.

👸Meme: Saying something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will ALWAYS get you off the hook.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! You are such a freaking airhead!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Bull. What if this guy is a total creep and kills someone? Would buying you a rose still get him off the hook?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It probably would if the murder victim was a 'pretty hot beautiful' girl and he killed her for this disgusting, endlessly selfish head-case.

👸Meme: We never forget things. Ever.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Liar. You forgot that you said pretty was bupkis.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not to mention she keeps forgetting that the world doesn't revolve around her.

👸Meme: We over-analyze everything.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Again, not true. Some people over-analyze, some don't.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: She doesn't. She just blasts off to the same dumb conclusion all the time. "Waaaah! He doesn't love me! Waaaah! she's too pretty!"

👸Meme: We over-react to everything.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Speak for yourself!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: We're not all over-emotional dweebs, ya know! Sheesh!

👸Meme: When we are mad at you, we aren't actually mad at you we just want you to apologize so we can start showing we like you again.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, crap, chick, you're insane.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What the-!? If you aren't mad at him, why act mad? Because you're on a power trip, that's why! You just want someone to apologize so you feel all high and mighty for forgiving him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, sounds just like Starscream and Cherie, doesn't it?

👸Meme: Please don't stand 384931491329403 feet away from us. Even if we are scary.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Which you are. I'd suggest any guy not standanywhere near you, but run for his life.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, please. At that distance, he won't even know you're there. Oh, sorry, did that damage your pitiful self-esteem?

👸Meme: Please acknowledge that when we are online when you sign in, we probably have waited ages for you to come online so please make it worthwhile.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What...The...! So, let me get this straight. You want some guy you crush on to explode in a flurry of apologies and "I love you, you are so beautiful"s as soon as he gets online and sees you have signed in? *makes horrible face*

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You're seriously pathetic.

👸Meme: We do not care if 50 000 other guys declared their love for us if you never do it none of it matters.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Somehow, I find that hard to believe.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Again, pathetic!

👸Meme: We don't like being used.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: No one does, genius!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, put that in your own mug of STFHU and drink it!

👸Meme: We like it when you do un-expected nice things.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hel-lo!? Girl, you already said that with the good surprises bit way up near the top of this dreadful dreck.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Doesn't EVERYONE?

👸Meme: We usually don't let just any guy make us cry, so if you make us cry, damnnn you must have done something bad...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh sure, like maybe he left your side for 5 seconds to go do something like, I dunno, get a drink of water? Or maybe he was caught reading the birthday card he received from his sister and you went all loco thinking he was having an affair with another girl!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, whatever! You'd cry if you saw a dead bug. You're THAT pathetic.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Snicker*

👸Meme: This is the way it works: You don't give us any attention, we dump you. It is NOT: You don't give us any attention, we chase after you. Deal with it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: um you so haven't convinced me of that. If you dumped guys that easily you wouldn't be half so insecure. Brain-dead, yeah, but - aw, skip it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Pssh! So you can tell him to deal with it, but he can't tell YOU to deal with it? Yeah, THAT sounds fair.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hypocrisy 101.

👸Meme: We like it when you are protective of us. It makes us feel special.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Speak for yourself! And what do you mean protective? Do you mean stalkerish "What are you doing" every single second of the day protective? Somehow, that's what I think you mean...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! You don't need a man protecting you to be special, this is the 21st century!

👸Meme: Unless she is a moronic idiot, a girl who truly loves you will love you for a long, long time.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But since you'd dump a guy just like that for not giving you his undivided attention 24/7, guess what that makes you? Yes, a moronic idiot! Not that there is even such thing as a non-moronic idiot - I mean - well, really, girl.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: One: moronic idiot is redundant. Two: I really doubt you even know what real love is. You probably think it means being worshiped by some sap.

👸Meme: When we come back from a holiday and brag about how awesome it was, during the entire time there we were probably thinking about you. A lot.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? I just don't get this one. with your sad mentality, how could you enjoy a holiday without him? Sheesh, you must drive anyone with you on that vacation absolutely batty!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: PATHETIC! Get a life!

👸Meme: No matter where we are or what we are doing, we really want you to hold our hand.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, how about not!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, just go away.

👸Meme: And please for the love of god

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sharp glare* Don't blaspheme!!

👸Meme: shut up about how fit other girls are.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, and that goes for you too. Stop obsessing over fitness and appearance, both the guy and you - just everybody. You dissing other girls over looks is just as bad as guysgoing on about how girls look.

👸Meme: You know we like you and the fact you do this despite you knowing how we feel is just evil.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: For once I agree, and that would actually be dump-worthy in my book. But that doesn't excuse you from your bad behaviour and particularly obnoxious chain forward!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Okay, that's it- will ya quit swearing? I'm sick of it!

👸Meme: When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh my gosh, YOU ARE SO PATHETIC! *headdesk*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Read what was said in the When A Girl/Guy meme-mangle again.

👸Meme: When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: DUH! That's the whole point of missing someone, anyone! And guys can miss you too - well, not specifically YOU, their girlfriends/spouses. read the When a Girl/Guy mangle again.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, kill me...

👸Meme: When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well then why say it's over? Make up your mind, Clingy McClingerton!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, so much for honesty.

👸Meme: When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Uh, no. Generally when somebody's angry it's a good idea to let them alone to cool off. Your suggestion to tell guys to be overbearing and keep going after girls when they clearly don't want anything but to be left alone is disgusting. You are telling guys to not respect girls and that is NOT COOL!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You're so freakin' demanding! This whole list is a ridiculously long whine...

👸Meme: When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ewww! Why would she? Why would he? Yuck.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What is it with you and kissing!? And I thought you said hugs meant more than kisses?

👸Meme: When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yet, it's not okay to hit her back at all. Sure. *rolls eyes*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I just don't get it, and totally disagree. She's a girl, not an unruly dog that needs to be brought under control! Though I really do wonder in the case of the brainless bimbo who started this chain.

👸Meme: When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, gag me! Look, it doesn't work that way in real life! I've seen this done in the movies and it makes absolutely no sense, plus, again, it's full of implications that whenever a girl gets upset it's really nothing and the guy can always bring her under control with a bunch of wild hugging, kissing and sweet nothings. BULL!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: WHAT?! Look, when someone starts swearing at you, you don't wax all gushy!

👸Meme: When she ignores you, give her your attention.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Shut up, you stupid head-gamer!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Well, figured you were gonna ask for that. You're alright so freakin' demanding.

👸Meme: When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you don't want him lying. Get your story straight, girl!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: This is like the seven millionth time you've demanded that compliment.

👸Meme: When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Unless you want him to say it's all right. Pretty sure you asked for that too.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: She did, and yet she claims she never forgets anything. What a ditz.

👸Meme: When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Um no. Take a hint from the mangle of the True Boyfriend chain.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, how about not? You try that on me and you'll get smacked.

👸Meme: When she's scared, protect her.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right...what if she's scared of a bug? Oooh, big macho man fights off a gnat!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: LOL, good one. Gah - even when scared, girls don't always need protecting. If I get spooked by some eerie music in a movie, I don't need some guy trying to protect me. And, there's something else this chain twink isn't considering, guys get scared too. Scared, sad, bored, mad, though what generally causes them to be might or might not necessarily be the same sorts of things for them as for any girl, we're all human after all.

👸Meme: When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Enough with the dang kiss stuff already! Besides, I thought you said hugs were better.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Aaaagh! All this kissing is making me sick! Knock it off!

👸Meme: When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Um, NO! That's his jacket! What if he needs it? Oh, but he's the guy, so he has no rights in this relationship.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What the heck is with you chain letter airhead chicks hogging and stealing guys' jackets? Man you're annoying! He doesn't just wear them for no reason, he gets cold just like you, dimwit!

👸Meme: When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Unless it hurts your pathetic self-esteem.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hahahaha! Another good point from BP.

👸Meme: When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: I thought you were supposed to just stay quiet.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hello? Maybe she just doesn't have anything to say or maybe she's fallen asleep on you or maybe she didn't hear what you said. Contrary to what this chain letter would have people believe, girls don't need constant attention and reassurances 24/7, especially when there's nothing to fret about in the first place.

👸Meme: When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Doubt and truth about what? that could go badly wrong. As in:

Clingy ditz: looks at crush with doubt.

Guy: answers back with "Yes, you're driving me crazy and I just have to get away from you."

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, what if he was telling the truth to begin with? You're so clingy you probably won't believe him anyway.

👸Meme: When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Argh! The arrogance! Look at what's said in the When A Girl/Guy mangle again.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, since in YOUR diseased mind, all guys are just dumb little puppies to be trained to be the most loving perfect things ever...

👸Meme: When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Weird...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, seriously weird. Is this ditz also going to tell guys to make sure to put food into their mouth and not their feet at dinner time too? Seriously, every single little interaction gets dictated by this monster!

👸Meme: When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What if it was an accident? Then you're a jerk for bumping back into her. Just can't win, guys.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lol! Yeah, read the When A Girl/Guy mangle again!

👸Meme: When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: How about when anyone tells you a secret? That's why they're SECRETS.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There's something about secrets in one of the other mangles I keep referencing too, and it still stands here as well.

👸Meme: When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Um, creeper staring contest?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: What the - oh, man, I can see this going really badly for any poor sap who gets stuck with you! He blinks or looks away after you've just tried making him keep his eyes only on you for the past hour, and you totally blow a gasket!

👸Meme: Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And what if it's long distance or you two wrack up huge cell phone bills because of this?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Waste of time!

👸Meme: Don't let her have the last word.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Unless you want to have the last word. Then he's a selfish pig for trying to say something.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: HUH!? First, that would be an impossible requ-oh, wait, I bet i know why you said that, because by keeping the guy talking forever, you force him to pay attention to you non-stop for an eternity! Second, the idea of a guy not letting a girl have the last word sounds suspiciously like very sexist crapola to me.

👸Meme: Don't call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You already covered that garbage.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Sigh* Read the Tips For Guys and True Boyfriend chain manglees again!

👸Meme: Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Even though the guy's supposed to not be anywhere near capable of the degree of love that this chain ditz - oh, brother! Look, love is not a freaking contest! Besides, maybe you'd take that as an 'OMG he loves me so incredibly deeply' but what he'd really be saying with that statement is that he's capable of more depth of emotion and character than you are, twink!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *rolls eyes* Shoot me. Please.

👸Meme: Argue that she is the best girl ever.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, put a cork in it already! You're not the best girl ever, far from it! Deal with it!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, and it's an argument because you're going to be bashing yourself so he can lavish these fake compliments on you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, it's all a huge sick game for her to see how many ego-strokes she can trap some poor sucker into giving her for the rest of his life!

👸Meme: When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No, no, no, no, NO!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: SO much hugging...

👸Meme: When she says she's OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she'll still remember it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah right.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Rot! Yeah, there are girls who act that way, but you better believe that most of the time a girl says she's okay, she probably is. Maybe I stub my toe on a piece of furniture, and some guy asks me if I'm okay. I am. It's just a little stubbed toe and I'm sure as heck not holding that against him for the next ten years and will have forgotten it myself!

👸Meme: Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Heck no! I do NOT want my sleep or practice interrupted by the phone, unless it's really important, and just calling to croon "I love you" doesn't cut it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, no! Anyone calling me at midnight better have a dang good reason, and hate to break it to you, but I love you isn't good enough!

👸Meme: Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.


🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh, no! She is not his god, or, shouldn't be. Besides, that would be a bit obsessive on his part. If she's the first and last thing he thinks about, that's him, but my gosh, you just told him to, and that is demanding way too much from another person! The more you say, the more I dislike you.

👸Meme: Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Or you'll blow a gasket, I'm sure...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH! Something is going to get pummelled!

👸Meme: Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: How about don't ignore ANYONE when out in a group?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Exactly. Sheesh, this chain letter ditz is nothing short of an emotional tyrant.

👸Meme: Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Aaaaggh! What if he has an important test the next day? But that doesn't matter, since ONLY you matter.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Please, she'd have to be gravely ill or at least have some condition that actually requires around the clock care. But if she's just sick with the run of the mill cold, for goodness sakes, don't expect the guy to lose a night's sleep and then be no good for anything the next day because of it. I've not needed anybody staying up all night with me since infancy for crying out loud! And what about if he's sick? Girl, would you stay up with him all night? Oh, wait, you'd probably get mad at him for being sick because then he'd be in no condition to tell you you're beautiful all the time!

👸Meme: Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: NO! Not unless she's expected to watch his favourites with him even if she thinks they are stupid. Read the mangle of the Tips For Guys chain again, particularly statement 17.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But if he wants to watch his favorite show with you, you have full right to say no. I have so many things I'd like to call you right now...

👸Meme: Let her into your world.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: And the Disney cheesiness begins...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Bad idea! Guys, keep away from this chick, for your own health and sanity, just, run!

👸Meme: Let her wear your clothes.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Eww, no! What's with you and this wanting to wear some guy's clothes? Wear your own!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: WHY? Why oh WHY do so many girls want to wear their boyfriends' clothes?!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't get it either. It's not as if they look good in them, and borrowing something once in a while is fine, but just going around wearing some guy's clothes, stealing their jackets etc. what's the poor guy supposed to do, go naked?

👸Meme: When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Since, you know, EVERYTHING you do is unimportant compared to her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gah, what if he can't? what if he's sick, or has an appointment, or a shift at work, or he has to cram for an exam? Seriously, if you're old enough to be boy-crazy, you're old enough to know how to entertain yourself, so grow up.

👸Meme: Let her know she's important.


🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Because you SO freakin' insecure you can't live without the compliments.

👸Meme: Kiss her in the pouring rain.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh please. That's so insanely cheesy it makes me want to vomit.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Punches chain-originating airheaded chick in the kisser* Stop with the kissing stuff already! The best thing anyone can do for me when it's pouring rain is to just have a quiet, relaxed conversation with me as I enjoy a hot drink or else leave me alone to drift off

👸Meme: When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's @ss am I kicking today baby?"

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: So, it's not cool for him to get into fights unless you want your big hunk of man-candy to beat someone up for you? Idiot...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes uncontrollably, scowling* Oh, puh-LEEEEEEEEZE! You disgust me! No, that's not what a guy should say. Girls cry for a ton of different reasons. Maybe I'd seek out comfort because someone I cared about just died, ever thought - oh, no, you're way too self-absorbed to think anything deep. What I'm getting at is this - just because a girl runs up to her bf crying does not mean some other guy has done anything to cause it, and a bf is not solely existing to be this girl's slave and fight all her battles for her!

👸Meme:After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hardly! I wouldn't show this to any boyfriend if I had one, not even if you paid me!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Trust me. No guy is gonna want to read this, let along remember to do it.

👸Meme: Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Lather, rinse, repeat, look, you already said that. Read the Tips For guys and True Boyfriend again!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You're kinda obsessed with this cheating thing.

👸Meme: Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your @ss if you end up hurting her.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You already said that...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, like about a zillion times! Read the Tips For Guys and True Boyfriend again!

👸Meme: Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that.


🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Not true! When a guy pours on the flattery, it just comes across as him being a sleeze. All you care about is kissing though, so that makes sense.

👸Meme: If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You want to know who deserves a slap? You! Read Tips For Guys again!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But he can't ever so much as poke her, or he's a demon. Right...

👸Meme: not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: wrong, wrong!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Get over this cuddling obsession!

👸Meme: Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh right, like in the Tips For Guys chain, read what's said in that mangle!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: I thought you said the actual gift didn't matter? Oh, but you're stupid...right...

👸Meme: Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We think that’s really cute and sweet.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: No, it's obsessive!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You ripped that off the Tips For Guys chain as well and added the "We think" business. What is said in the Tips mangle stands here as well.

👸Meme: If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the sh!t out of him.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: No it isn't! Sheesh, brat!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Again, no! You already made this claim somewhat reworded in the above, and now you just copied it word for word from the Tips mangle. Read what's said over there in rebuttal!

👸Meme: you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Like in the Tips chain I suppose, only you added the reason to that statement. Still, stupid, read the dang mangle, it's still stupid, and the mangle stands!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh my gosh...you are SO freakin' insecure!

👸Meme: Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You are SO stupid...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Again, read the mangle of the blasted tips chain, because what's said there applies here as well!

👸Meme: Go along with her to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went with her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You covered that in the above about watching TV shows, now you said it again, it was mangleed in the Tips chain, look that up because it still stands!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But he can't EVER pick the movie, or he's an insensitive jerk-face.

👸Meme: If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. Or else.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Already covered somewhere above and in the Tips For Guys mangle, rebuttal statements still stand!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Quit the swearing!

👸Meme: Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. Let her win once in a while.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Like in the Tips mangle, I suppose, what's said there still stands.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, why would you play wrestle with a girl? That's getting a little too physical.

👸Meme: Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. Not gonna lie.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You said that a zillion times and look at the rebuttals above and in the Tips mangle!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Get over the dang birthday!

👸Meme: Don't drench yourself in the cologne, but smell good.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You should've put this one right with the one near the top about girls smelling men from a distance. Look at the Tips mangle again.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Why, so you can drown yourself in his man-stink when he hugs/kisses you five million times a day?

👸Meme: You don’t have to spend a million dollars on the Birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything but it has to be meaningful.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You...Already...Said...That... Look again at these mangles!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah right! You'd probably throw a hissy fit if it was a decent price.

👸Meme: Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah freakin' right.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Broken record broken record broken record...

👸Meme: Don’t say you understand when you don’t. That’s bad.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Huh? That sentence...it burns...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you want nothing but praises and understanding coming out of this guy's mouth, make up your stupid - well, what passes for a mind up there!

👸Meme: Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for the love! Shut - Up! *Thwack!*

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Ha! You said pretty was no-no!

.Chain: Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You already said that.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That statement has already been mangled in the above. And did I mention - aw, for crying out loud, just shut up and die!

👸Meme: Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Okay, that was WAY too much innuendo there for my taste.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not sure exactly how to take this, but blast it, everybody, get over the stupid size thing already! I don't care how thin, fat, tall or short someone is, and sure as heck am not interested in the - er, manhood size thing, so get a life!

👸Meme: No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise, that is a bad idea

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh my heck...I'm going to smack you in the face so hard your nose shakes hands with your brain stem. Capiche?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'll mangle your head in right along with this chain if you don't - stop - with - this - STUPID - hating on other girls just because they're girls and you're such a moronic, insecure, clingy, demanding, narcissistic, spoiled brat! Read the Tips For Guys and True Boyfriend mangles again!

👸Meme: It’s good to be sensitive, to a point.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Still gonna smack you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, mercy, where do I start with this one? You want this guy falling all over himself, despising every other girl for being a girl, beating up all other guys in some sort of turf war over you, telling you you're beautiful and he loves you while staring int your eyes all day long, you demand his very first and last waking thought every day be of you, or you'll get over-sensitive, fall apart and dump him. and where's the understanding and right amount of the right kind of sensitivity from you? Nowhere! You're such a messed up, selfish flake!

👸Meme: If you did something wrong, apologize. Even if you didn’t, do it anyway.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: That is SO stupid.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: ACK! Do you really want to go there? Read the mangles of Tips, True Boyfriend, the "Give Up Your Life For Me" chain, and you'd do very well to read For The Love Of Power, paying special attention to Cherie's behaviour and what happens to her. Because you deserve the same fate!

👸Meme: You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *headdesk*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, you are such a...Brat (so tempted to use another word and that's saying a lot, chick!) You are seriously - trying - my - patience! You want this guy coddling you every second of his life, and you repay him by telling him he's done something bad that you're not cool with. you're not a normal girl, you're not even just an insecure little teenager, you are a dang blasted dominatrix masquerading as a girl who wants a boyfriend! Lady, you royally suck! You stink! You stink, stink, STINK!

👸Meme: We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it. Let it be.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: BULL!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah, I got that!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Once you can manage to be content with yourself, and I mean truly content, all of that self-consciousness goes away, honestly, it does. But you'll never understand what real contentment is the way you're going, what's more, you just admitted you're not interested in changing for the better.

👸Meme: We don’t shave our legs every day so just get over it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *rolls eyes* Look, the only person holding you to that is yourself. YOU get over it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Exactly!

👸Meme: Shave your face, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we probably hate it. We like you clean shaven.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: "Do as I say, not as I do!" Oh, you blasted HYPOCRITE! Shut it!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Look, as much as I hate the peach-fuzz, if the guy wants to grow it, it's his choice. Back off.

👸Meme: Show off a little, we think it’s cute.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh!" But I thought you said -

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Ah-ha! You said not to show off! Moron!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, can't keep a story straight 101 who claims to never forget anything. This girl is stupid out the wazoo!

👸Meme: You are our boyfriend, our man, our protector, whether you know it or not, you are; act like it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Girl, get with the current century! And by the way, boyfriend does not mean slave. Not that this could get through your thick skull, but just - ARGH!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Demanding!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: To the point of pathological! She expects him to do everything for her, probably to cart her around and pay for everything too, like the girl in this comedy.

👸Meme: You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What the-?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatevs. Is that's the best you can do for a compliment. So is he still cute in anything else? Seriously, I'm so - dang - sick - of - you and your cute hot thing! SHUT UP!

👸Meme: We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Speak for yourself only!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Try no! That'd get a guy smacked in my book.

👸Meme:"Fine" is NEVER an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, then I'll give you one. You look like the girlfriend from hell! And I'm not talking about physical appearance! You are a social vampire!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, he's supposed to call you beautiful, right? 'cause that's SO awesome...hey, I just noticed something! You never call the guy anything BUT hot or cute. You said those were no-nos. But it's okay for you, right? 'cause you're an idiot.

👸Meme: Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Don’t obsess over that.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Um, creepy much?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You obsess and you tell him to obsess and then you tell him not to obsess? You stupid twink. Get your crap together. So when you're not fantasizing about him, what else is it? Oh, probably yourself and how beautiful you think you should be, or maybe you fantasize about other girls getting tortured and killed, that would be typical you.

👸Meme: I expect you to call me. If you don’t, you go down.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Call you what? an odious, insufferable, demanding queen bee? you got it!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: CLINGY!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: That too!

👸Meme: I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Guffaw* You wouldn't know the meaning of the word!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, gimme a break! You self-righteous little brat!

👸Meme: When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: You're so stupid that you can't tell extra skin and fur from belly fat? Kangaroos are cute. You? Not so much!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: I'm gonna take a nap now. This is seriously grating on my nerves.

👸Meme: You look hot in hooded clothing items. Always.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There you go with this 'hot' again. So it's okay for you to lust after him but not okay for him to lust after you? Hypocrite!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *sleep mumbles* Bull...

👸Meme: You should never tell a girl what to do. Ever.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Gosh dang it, take your own advice! You've been telling this guy what to do, a million times over with a bunch of these demands!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *sleep talking* Sounds...SUPER...fair...oh...the sarcasm...

👸Meme: Any decent man will ask a girl out to her face. I mean; if you aren’t man enough to ask us out to our face, who says youre gonna be man enough to our boyfriend at all.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Get with the 21st century, ask him out if you want to go out so badly!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *snorts awake* H'm? Did I miss anything? No? Right.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Other than me yelling and wanting to put this girl's head through a wall, no.

👸Meme: Girls are very impressed when you ask them for advice. Unless its about another girl.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, 'cause you're so insecure you'd probably go home and cry about it for a week.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Since you love dishing out orders and demands so much, and the only advice I can see you wanting to give about another girl: "Off with her head!"

👸Meme: I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm unimpressed, no, make that contemptuous of YOU!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *yawn*

👸Meme: When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And if he doesn't own such a shirt? You stupid shallow drip.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: That's just stupid.

👸Meme: You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Wha-?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But you don't want him calling you sexy. And what's so sexy about doing any of those activities? Girl, you are making my ears and eyes bleed.

👸Meme: Girls need to hear how you feel about them. Often. Tell her now.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: even if he's come to hate you?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Clingy much?

👸Meme: A girl wants to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this and tell her.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh my gosh. You have an ego the size of Texas.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH! I'm dying!

👸Meme: If she’s not feeling loved, she will start looking....

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you won't allow him to start looking when he feels unloved because you treat him like a slave!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Right, so you can find another guy but he can't so much as look at another girl?

👸Meme: We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. It’s cute.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There you go with this 'cute' stuff again. Bleck.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *headdesh* I'm gonna be brain dead at this rate...

👸Meme: It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Didn't we cover this already? Oh yeah, we did. *Sigh* Girl, sing a new song!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Didn't I already cover this? Yeah, with the surprise party example...not surprised you forgot. You ARE pretty dense.

👸Meme: For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm sure he would too...

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Urrggg...losing...brain cells! Help...help...me!

.Chain: We can fall in love with you without really knowing you, if you are an @ss, we will find out, and we will get over it. Fast. Don't ruin it.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: HUH!? Sheesh, what a flake!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Watch your mouth! And what an absolute idiot! You can't fall in love with someone without actually knowing that person! YOU can only fall in lust, with all the kissing comments you've made.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Exactly!

👸Meme: You like her, make a move. Don’t just sit there, you will fail, and you won’t get her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: ACK! *Seizure* Help! Must...Get away...From...Antiquated...Stupidityy!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But you're allowed to just do nothing. Right...

👸Meme: Guys who play sports are hot. They build muscle, and no matter what we will be at all of your games.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, you are so SHALLOW! *scowl*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 'hot' 'cute' 'hotcutehotcutehotcutehotcute' oh, shut the heck up already! And I thought you said you didn't like guys showing off their muscles?

👸Meme: When you compliment us, we aren't sure how to accept the compliment without leading you on or reject the compliment without hurting you. So just bear with us here.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Whatever!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you won't bear with any fumbles he might make, you're stupid.

👸Meme: WE HATE BEING LED ON! If you think it's bad being led on by a girl, try being led on by a guy.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *snickers* Uh, you really want them to put that to the test?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, please, I'm so dang sick of your 'It's only a little bit wrong if a girl does it but it's a crime against humanity if a guy does the same blasted thing!' !!!!!!!!!!!!

👸Meme: We like it when guys are willing to have an actual relationship, not just a one-night stand. Most girls don't like pimps or players, just guys who like ONE girl only.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Most? .

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Urgh, we've been through this already!

👸Meme: But don't be obssessive. Major turn-off.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Scoffing loudly* Pot, kettle!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But you want him to be protective. Of course...

👸Meme: Call sometimes, just to say hi, not for a certain reason. When we see your number on caller ID, our heart always skips a beat. Try calling just to say good night, or good morning, its soo adorable!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Punch* Knock it off already!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Whatever.

.Chain: BE HONEST!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, here's some honesty for you. You're rotten to the core and I want to tear you limb from limb!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Advice for everyone, not just guys!

👸Meme: Don't ONLY tell us what we want to hear. We HATE that.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But you've been telling guys to tell you what you want to hear for the last - which one are we on now?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah right! You want all the compliments in the world, but they HAVE to be sincere. You need to die.

👸Meme: At sleepovers, if you wonder what we talk about, quit worrying. It really is only you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatever, chick...

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Guys don't care about that stuff. Really. Have you ever found a guy worrying about what his girlfriend talks about at sleepovers?

👸Meme: If you catch us staring, it is most likely because we're spacing out, not because we really stare at you. Unless we smile when you notice. Then you either look really hot, or we like you.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: But he's not aloud to space out. Nope. Not ever. Yeah, that sounds fair...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: oh, go touch a 'hot' stove, you spaced-out dweeb!

👸Meme: We like it when you hold us when we're crying. It's good to feel loved and safe.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ack! Speak for yourself only!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, gag me. You've asked to be held about five million times. What are you, a puppy?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No kidding! Sheesh!

.Chain: Don't go to our friends to talk about us. Come straight to us.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Ha! You said if you wanted to know something about you, go to your best friend. Now you want him to go straight to you. Make up your mind!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: No kidding, the chick is crazy!

👸Meme: Don't tell us you love us unless you are positive you mean it. If we don't say it back, it's just that we really want to mean it when we say it. Don't say it right away, then it shows lack of commitment.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you want him telling you he loves you and you're beautiful every second of the day. he can't stretch time to make the days longer to get all the hesitations in exactly the right places for you! Stupid!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh my freakin' gosh...you can't have everything perfect!

👸Meme: We like our hands to be held and our waists to be touched.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Uh, no! Keep your paws offa me!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Covered, covered, and again, still, no, speak for your lousy self, girl!

.Chain: We like you to kiss our hand and cheeks and forehead (esp. forehead!!), not just shove your tongue down our throats. We do like to breathe.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Um, eww much?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Barfs into bucket*

👸Meme: We like it when you're tender, but don't lose your masculinity.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm sure he'd like a girl with a functioning brain, too.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: First you say not to be a macho man, then you say not to lose your masculinity. Can't have it all.

.Chain: Do chivalrous things when we least expect it (ex. holding doors for us).

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Tearing hair out* No! Die!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh, give it up!

👸Meme: As surprising as it may be, while guys might actually look at personality,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, so according to you, girls are demanding, fly-off-the-handle pets and guys don't care about personality, you're really stupid!

👸Meme: the first thing girls look at tends to be looks.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: LIAR!

👸Meme: We're not going to see you and think, 'I wonder what his personality is like!' Terrible, but true.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wrong! Bullcrap! you can apply that to yourself only! Once again, guys, if that girl gets her eye on you, RUN! Save your life and run!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You sleeze! You shallow rotten sleeze!

👸Meme: If we love you, and youre hurt on the basketball court, rolling on the floor in pain; we’re hurting more just watching you.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What!? You are so- aaagh! Look, I highly doubt that someone as idiotic as you can feel ANY sort of sympathy for someone else, let along manage to magically suffer more that the actual sufferer just by looking at him.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Different kind of hurt, idiot! Not necessarily more! you obviously aren't capable of any real compassion, real love, or anything worth while, and claiming you are does not cut it, girl!

👸Meme: We LOVE it when you get nervous around us. It's adorable! Don't think you have to be Mr. Cool Guy all the time.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, I really want to shoot you now!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: You are SUCH a weirdo!

👸Meme: Don't play hard to get. We’ll get bored and move on.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But you are allowed to? Stupid hypocrite!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: AH-ah! I thought you said when a girl loves you, she loves you forever! You have once again messed up.

👸Meme: If you don't call us, then we will spend hours thinking about why you never called, and we will waste a lot of time thinking about it, eventually coming to the conclusion that we don't like you anymore.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Explodes* Aaaaaaaa! You are creepy, you are demanding, you are shallow, you are selfish, you are hypocritical, you are immature, you are disgusting! Go away!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *sigh* This is one big bowl of contradictions...

👸Meme: We lost interest quickly if you lead us on but never take action.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Cuts both ways, stupid!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: First you love him forever, then you get bored with him super fast. So you're clingy and bipolar. Wow.

👸Meme: We might seem to flirt a lot, but a girl always thinks about the one guy she really likes right before she falls asleep.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Check out the When A Girl/Guy mangle again! Flirting is not acceptable, for you or the guy, I don't care what you think before you fall asleep, if you flirted, you flirted.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What a creep...

👸Meme: When a girl likes a guy, she subconsciously gives him a song that makes her think of him every time she hears it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: CREEP!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And if the girl isn't into music? The song association bit isn't a girl/guy thing at all for me. It's a musician thing. I assign songs to people all the time or learn to associate them with songs based on what music they like that I find out about. I even assign songs for myself. So don't go corrupting this trait for use in your sleazy, sexist chain letter!

👸Meme: If guys do the same as girls do in #77, tell her what song reminds you of her.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Sheesh, why does everyone want some super special couple song?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Gags* And honestly, I can't think of a song that's irritating, odious and creepy enough to fit this girl, other than maybe "Love To love You Baby" that song seriously creeps me out. Oh, or "Obsession"

👸Meme: Randomly compliment girls in conversations. If you're talking about sports, be like "Oh, by the way, that shirt really made your eyes look green today." It totally throws us off, and we love it.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: One: that compliment made no sense. Two: that's pathetic. You're pathetic.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Kill it! Just - kill it!

👸Meme: Ask us about how we're doing once in a while, and at least pretend to be interested.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you don't want him lying to you.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Ah-ha! You said not to pretend to be listening earlier! LIAR!

👸Meme: If we're not talking to you, we secretly want you to talk to us first.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *SIGH* You already said that! *Headdesk*

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: My gosh, this is SO redundant...

👸Meme: Play with our hair without being like a gay hairstylist.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? And no, don't. I don't like having my hair played with.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Huh? How about not!

👸Meme: We get really happy when you show any sign of interest. Don't just do it and then never do it again. Bad bad bad...

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *headdesk*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whatever 'it' is *Explodes* so once he compliments you, it's never enough. He's trapped in an endless loop of servitude to you and must continue forever giving you compliments over and over while you have moodswings, tell him he's bad, flirt with other guys, slap him, slag any other female to come within 100 meters of him, yeah, you're some piece of work!

👸Meme: Keep up the conversation on IM and phones and in person! Don't be awkward. That’s bad.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: But you said it was 'cute' earlier when you wanted him telling you what he was thinking even when he didn't know. You are the most redundant and contradictory, demanding brat!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Talk about awkward...you're bad enough to make anyone awkward.

👸Meme: We will always feel bad if we don't like you back. Not all girls are bitches, no matter what you may think. We hate to reject you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet you'd dump him for not giving you his undivided attention for like five minutes!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT!? From here on out, I'm censoring you. Yeah, how do you like THEM apples, gutter-brain!?

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Thank you. :)

👸Meme: ok, so some girls are (censored) and they like rejecting boys, but the people who wrote this group are not. better?

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah freakin' right!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whoever wrote this trip is way too hung up on power-tripping to outright reject some guy. She wants to keep him around, writing on a string for her. She is a *censored* and yes, I admit that was the word I was provoked into nearly saying earlier but used 'brat' instead. *Sheepish expression*

👸Meme: If we say "Let's just be friends", we really mean it. Don't keep trying to pursue us, and don't say ok and then ignore us. That's just mean and horrible.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah, and YOU'D know...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There's nothing mean and horrible about backing off. So which is it? First you want him making moves, then you say no, then you say that's mean and horrible, gah, girl, just jump off a cliff or something!

👸Meme: It's adorable when a best guy friend who a girl has thought about liking confesses he likes her.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Huh? I know what you mean, but I could barely understand that...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Not if the girl doesn't like him back in that way... It's just sad. Friends can remain friends, they don't have to get other ideas, you know.

👸Meme: If you’re single, find the one girl who’s always there on the sidelines at your football game, or at each of your concerts, all your baseball games. She loves you. Her excuse may be that she’s there for her brother, but she’s really there for you.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Gag* Eww, no.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Wow. What an ego.

👸Meme: After you find that girl, smile at her once in a while, it’ll mean the world to her.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Yeah, whatever!

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Snores*

👸Meme: Get to know her, you’ll make her year first of all, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up liking her.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *punches pillow and sleep-talks* Not if she's anything like you!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Oh my gosh- pass the bucket. I'm gonna be sick.

👸Meme: Not all blondes are (censored). Some are cool.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: DUH!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: What is it with people and blondes? Sheesh...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Opens eyes* I don't know, it's as bad as racial jokes!

OMG I just thought of something!

She just referenced blondes, and mentioned green eyes, which means this girl herself must have blonde hair and green eyes. Know who else has those "beautiful" features?

Miranda! No kidding, I feel like I'm reading something written by her!

👸Meme: Not all blondes are sluts. Some have morals.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Are you implying that most of them are sluts? If only some have morals...sheesh, YOU'RE certainly smart...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Only 'some'? Look, chick, you certainly don't corner the market on moral character yourself, and hair color has nothing to do with it!

👸Meme: In your mind, give every girl a chance. Each one deserves at least one.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Hold up - I thought you said he should serve and idolize only you and not even look in another girl's direction? Oh, but I should be used to your contradictions by now.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: So...every single guy has to give every single girl a chance? Yeah, THAT'S gonna work...

👸Meme: Girls fantasize too, its just not always about sex.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Could've fooled me, in your case, given the contents of this stupid chain letter.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: So you assume all guys fantasize about that? Wow, that's fair...

👸Meme: We girls give you guys code names so that you don’t know that we’re talking about you. :]

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Wha? Chick, that's really uncool and stupid.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Pssh. And the pathetic continues.

👸Meme: If you’re jealous, it may suck for you, but we think it’s attractive if you really care that much.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Um, no. Jealousy is not some mega awesome trait. Deal with it. Oooh, stole your line.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh...My...Gosh! Girl, you are twisted messed up! if you think your own obsessive jealousy is caring and the guy will like it, you are dead wrong!

👸Meme: If a girl blushes when you talk to her, she either likes you or she's embarrassed by what you're saying.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: DUH!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Wow. Way to get that whole blushing equals embarrassing thing. You oughta get into Mensa for that.

👸Meme: Girls don’t really write your name on a piece of paper a million times if they like you, that’s a myth...... sometimes

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *rolls eyes* Gag.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Huh? It's a myth only sometimes? Either it's a myth or it isn't.

👸Meme: If a girl really likes you, just seeing you will make her day.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: *more headdesking*

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Nods off*

👸Meme: Even if you aren’t all that cute, and we like you, we think you’re hot. Don’t take advantage of that, take pride in that.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Jolts awake in agony* AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! You're killing me with this brain-numbing hot cute hot cute stuff! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: Please, shoot me. This is just too much...

👸Meme: Every time you smile at us, it may mean only a little to you, but it means the world to us. Don't take the little things for granted.

🤦🏽‍♀️BP: AAaaaagh! That's it! You die now! *pulls out cyber riffle, blasts the idiotic originator(s) of this piece of garbage into lots of little pieces* Okay...that's better...

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Whew! *Picks self up off the floor, rubs temple* Is it over? is it really over? Thank goodness! *Big sigh of relief*


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