📧From: yet another poor sap
----- Original Message -----
From: some moron further up the chain I don't know
To: list of addresses
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: If I was a spammer, I'd love that information.
Subject: Happy GFW!
🙎Meme: National Girlfriend Week
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: More like: Nitwit Girls Forwarding Wildly
National? Which nation? The U.S. Canada? Europe? Africa? And when does a week begin on Wednesday?
There's no such thing as National Friendship Week, National Girlfriend Week is just the Friendship Week thang with a different name. Chain letters always evolve and change slightly to fool people into thinking they're something new. *tsks*
🙎Meme: I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's nice. I'm glad to know you drink coffee and use hair spray. I just couldn't have gone on living if you hadn't told me that! Yeah, for those a little slow on the draw, that was sarcasm!
🙎Meme: To the cool women that have touched my life. Here's to you!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, so who the heck are you? I don't know you. Why use my friends to pass on a sappy incoherent message when you don't even know me from a hole in the ground?
To everyone and anyone who has ever had my email address and other contact info for on the net: please, you're supposed to be smart. I want *your* own words, not those of some chain letter writer neither of us know and who doesn't give a dang about us. You've been used, duped, fooled, jipped, ripped off. Wake up! These redundant fluffy chain letters are not a good replacement for real communication. No wonder the net's so messed up and online is becoming useless for communication - if people are too lazy to write their own warm fuzzies or think some anonymous spam can express friendship better than they can - it's a big lie, a jip, a cop-out, and a sad, sad world.
🙎Meme: National Girlfriends Day
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And it will probably be National Girlfriends Day for the next 6 months and for years to come, as long as this annoying thing keeps circulating.
🙎Meme: What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not speaking for most people. I'd still enjoy these things on my own. If you have company, enjoy it. If not, you better like yourself or you'll be in rough shape when you haven't got someone by your side and everybody's alone at some point in life. It's all part of life. That's the way it is, so...Moving on.
🙎Meme: Let's celebrate each other for each other's sake!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And let's learn to do it the right way, starting with sending personal emails and stop with the gender fixations, the memes and "beautiful" stuff!
🙎Meme: TO MY GIRLFRIENDS! If you get this twice you know you have more than one girlfriend. Be Happy!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, please! Let's shed some light on what's really going on here!
If you get this twice, you have two fools clogging up your inbox with stuff they didn't even write because they thought it was awesome and original, and better than writing their own words! Be embarrassed, be frustrated, be hurt that all your friends could be bothered to send you was a piece of imitation friendship.
And what the heck's with these people buying into the notion that some stupid chain letter can determine how many friends you have or what good luck you'll get by how many people you forward this piece of spam to? My friends are intelligent so shouldn't be demonstrating such gullibility by perpetuating a chain letter with such lame claims! But they do - because the darn thing blew into my inbox from one of my friends! Come on people, wise up!
🙎Meme: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND RETURN IT TO THE FRIEND WHO SENT IT TO YOU!
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And clog up the net with the same pointless message, clog up everybody's inboxes and pass on your address so spammers can harvest it to send you even more junkmail, sure!
Better idea, don't send it on, you'll annoy your friends. Most people who get annoyed are too polite to say anything so forwards keep being sent to them. Others are fooled into thinking it's actual friendship and pass it on further, risking annoying still more people.
🙎Meme: Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh Crap, She's up!"
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Don't kid yourself. If God hasn't generated that response from the devil yet, neither can a mere person like you. Instead, be the kind of person who doesn't make time for the devil.
🙎Meme: It is good to be a woman:
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *sighs* I'm getting so sick of these types of chain letters! I can't count how many women have sent me these "Feel good for being a woman" lectures.
So I'm a woman, big deal. Make me feel good by sending me a personal note. If you're a friend that lives near me, make me feel good by calling me up, going out for coffee or dinner with me, or going shopping with me. Come to my house for a visit. Invite me over to your house for a visit. But *don't* tell me I should feel good just because I happen to be a woman!
🙎Meme: 1. We got off the Titanic first.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh really? Please, enough with the Titanic thing already! I wasn't there. How many other ships back in those days did women and children leave before the men? Many. That's hardly a unique occurance back in those days.
This Titanic thing has been on the glorifying of women chain letter for so long already, I can't count how many times it blew into my inbox like an obnoxious foghorn! I also find it utterly tasteless trivializing a human tragedy. A variant of the Slow Dance dying kid hoax does this too, when talking about women cutting back on dessert on the Titanic. It's not something to be glib about, many people died on the Titanic. Those who survived, undoubtedly had to work through a bunch of issues, and that's a subject for another time.
You can't boast about getting off first since you weren't there. And this is just a tasteless thing to say.
🙎Meme: 2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, for the love of all things good! I don't have a disorder just because I am a woman, neither do I consider the differences between the genders to be disorders, and do not use the PMS thing to freak out the guys! I don't play that and no self-respecting woman should glory in it either.
🙎Meme: 3. Taxis stop for us.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: And that's so great because?
🙎Meme: 4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I've danced with men who didn't look like that either.
🙎Meme: 5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Okay, it is disgusting. But How about these women who wear next to nothing and having just about everything showing? Like string bikinis and g-strings? That's better than the speedo? And for the record, I disapprove of guys going without a top as well.
🙎Meme: 6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Not that we're any less amused when it happens... C'mon, be honest, women laugh at it too, but usually though not always for a different reason. The 'Glad it wasn't me, hee hee hee.' factor.
🙎Meme: 7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: That's because we don't grow whiskers, genius!
🙎Meme: 8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: So you're saying it's impossible for a man to say the word 'Congratulations' without his hand going on auto-pilot down to somebody's rear-end? Perhaps you should lay off the forwards and conduct research on what causes this seizure-like phenomena in the...urh...men - that must've congratulated you in the past, hmm? Surely they don't represent the whole gender.
🙎Meme: 9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: No, some of us, and definitely not me, make sure our valued pieces of equipment are in plain view in front of us, uncovered, and for all others to see...
🙎Meme: 10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: I haven't known men who couldn't, other than with severe physical or mental disabilities.
🙎Meme: 11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Bad generalization, I've known women to be pretty hormonal over men too. I've known some women and girls to get all tied up over men that aren't even real. Legolas from the LOTR movie, Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, and Jasper from Twilight, and cartoony men from anime. The way girls go nuts over them is astounding, and downright scary!
🙎Meme: 12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Know, maybe...Care? Not likely. But again, that doesn't apply to me.
🙎Meme: 13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Of course not. I don't have pierced ears, so, nothing to regret there.
🙎Meme: 14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: Right, for men, it's beer. Um, you know, there's a difference between enjoying a bit of comfort food/drink, and actually solving problems.
🙎Meme: 15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: *MROW!* Yet it's amazing how many women listen to chain letters, but don't listen to reasons not to spread them.
🙎Meme: Send this to all the bright women you know and make their day!!!!! ?
🧝♀️Ocean Elf: It sure as heck didn't make mine, and not only am I insulted every time I get this crap from people who are supposed to know how to show real friendship, I'm embarrassed that they fall for this stuff all the time! This good to be a woman chain letter is as stale as 10 year old candy, forget PMS, this was enough to put me in a bear of a mood! I like emails my friends actually *write* themselves, not silly little forwards they did not write, preaching about friendship and fooling the forwarders into thinking they are showing they care by passing on this sap. Yeah, you cared so much that you included me in a long list of people in your address book. You couldn't send me a nice audio file and a personal note but this darn friendship chain that you didn't even write - was soooooooo important you had to send it to me and everybody else in your address book because we're all your one true special friend and you care sooooo much! Yeah, right... My day has been made so much better because of it...NOT!
Over and out!