I have no idea what troll started this stupid hoax, or who got the dumb idea to expand on the backstory later, or who thought it was a great idea to make a synthesized text-to-speech video of another stripped-down version of it.

So, mangling memes is one way to give it to those trolls, and hopefully give anyone who reads this the sense and courage to never spread this kind of crap in the first place.

And yes, this meme is bullcrap.

* * *

Part 1

Memes: they Hurt Her

Ocean: Bull.

Memes: She was pushed
They pushed her

Ocean: Pushed to do what? Forward a dumb chain letter?

Well, I've been pushed to mangle 'em!

Meme2012: R.I.P - They Hurt Her.

Ocean: Wrong, and the only way for Carmen to R.I.P. would be if people would stop getting taken in by this stupid hoax.

Memes: They pushed her down a sewer

Ocean: No, they didn't, at least, not in real life. However, this is fiction.

Memes2006: About 6 years ago in Indiana,

Ocean: Considering this chain started back in 2006, that would make "6 years ago" back then, going WAY back to 2000…

Memes2010&2013: Carmen Winstead was
Meme2013: only
Memes2010&2013: a
Meme2010: young
Meme2013: 17 year old
Memes2010&2013: girl who
Meme2013: had trouble making friends.

Ocean: Another sad story… All 17-year-olds are young.

Meme2010: died when she was pushed down the sewer by five girls she thought were her friends.

Ocean: That's a lot worse trouble than simply having problems trying to make friends. I don't know how anybody could possibly mistake such pooheads for friends.

Meme2010: Carmen was 17 years old when her parents decided to move to Indiana. Her father had lost his job and the only way he could find new employment was by moving to a new state.

Ocean: Yeah, tough times…

Meme2010: The relocation caused a lot of problems for Carmen. She had to leave her friends behind and attend a whole new school in Indiana.

Ocean: Why does this make me think of "I've Been Waiting For You?"

Meme2010: Carmen had a hard time making friends when she changed schools. It was the middle of the school year and most of the students had no interest in befriending the new girl.

Ocean: no kidding, that definitely sounds like a write-up about a movie. Teen gets uprooted and gets shunned or picked on by all the kids at new school. Bleck.

Meme2010: Initially, she spent many days alone, walking from class to class without speaking to anyone, but she eventually started hanging around with a group of five other girls.

Ocean: Why not just make friends with Jessica Smith, who was in the exact same predicament? Oh, right, both Carmen and Jessica were too shy, so it was probably up to the five in-girls to make the first move, and I'm sure their motives were anything but real friendship.

Meme2010: Carmen thought these girls were her friends, but it wasn’t long before she discovered that they had been talking about her behind her back and spreading vile rumors.

Ocean: Thought as much. This is your typical in group that wouldn't know the first thing about humanity and are so full of themselves and sick in the head they'd get a huge high taking candy from toddlers just to make them cry. Stupid girls.

Meme2010: When she confronted them, the girls turned on her and began bullying her every day, making her life a mysery misery.

Ocean: Began? The bullying started the moment they let her into their dumb little clique so they could win her trust in order to amuse themselves at her expense. Spreading nasty rumors is bullying.

Notice one mutation of the rewrite couldn't even spell 'misery'?

Meme2013: The more popular girls took pleasure in making fun of her and embarrassing her every chance they got.

Ocean: of course that's what gets bully types like that out of bed every morning, the thought of who and how much they can make the next person suffer for giggles and kicks. *Scowl*

Meme2010: They started out calling her names, but then the bullying got much worse.

Ocean: I would've thought the names came before the rumors? Or wait, maybe not. These stupid girls probably got mad when carmen wouldn't roll over, play dead and be a voluntary whipping girl for them, so they regressed to the mentality of kindergarteners. Wait, that's not right either - they didn't regress since they were already there.

Meme2010: One day, she left her school books in the classroom at break time. When she returned, she found someone had taken a sharpie and written dirty words all over her books.

Ocean: Break time? Don't you mean lunch time, or a spare? And why leave her books there? They could've been stolen. You'd think she would've put them in her locker, considering what absolute pigs these girls are.

Meme2010: Another day, she opened her bag and discovered someone had poured yoghurt all over the insides.

Ocean: Sheesh, what are these, over-grown two-year-olds? Anyway, how did they manage to get away with that? Seems to me Carmen doesn't gard her stuff too well. And where are the teachers?

Meme2010: Sometimes, she would come to school and find her locker had been vandalized.

Ocean: Oh, you should've explained that and saved me asking all these questions. Because vandalism is the only way this makes any sense. But that leaves one question still, where are the teachers?

Meme2010: The final straw came when she put on her coat at recess

Ocean: Hel-lo! This is supposed to be a 17-year-old high school student. High school, people, they don't have recess any more!

Meme2010: and found that someone had stuffed dog poop in her pockets.

Ocean: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW! Though if they did that, it wasn't at recess. I wouldn't put it past these disgusting little sorority debutant type girlies, though how they could've managed without getting their own hands dirty and smelly, I don't know. Disgusting girls! They'd actually deserve to catch something from that filth.

Meme2010: There and then, Carmen decided that she couldn’t take the bullying any longer. She planned to stay behind, that evening, after school, and tell her teacher what had been happening.

Ocean: Only one teacher? Usually in high school you have several, one per different type of class. It would make more sense for Carmen to go right to the principal and guidance counsellor.

Meme2010: Unfortunately, her decision came too late to save her life.

Ocean: Where's the scary Halloween type music when you need it?

Meme2010: After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill.

Ocean: Hold up!

If there was going to be an announcement about the whole school, it would be given by the principal over the intercom.

More to the point, they don't announce fire drills. The whole point of having them is that the students not know ahead of time so they can learn to respond appropriately. Real emergencies are not announced before hand, they just happen, and that's how it is for fire drills too.

Meme2013: During a fire drill, everyone filed out of the school to cross the street to their designated spot.

Ocean:Designated spot? I don't recall such thing from my own experience with fire drills in school. "Mr. Winstead's grade 2 class over on the left of the building, Miss Smith's grade 4s to the right." Everyone filed out in their respective classes and just milled about on the school ground, more or less in their class groupings but we weren't told to "Go stand here, go stand there."

Meme2010: When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside.

Ocean: And?

Meme2010: As the teachers read out the roll call,

Ocean: Huh? Roll call happens at the beginning of class, not during a fire drill.

Meme2013: The mean girls spot a man hole that was left open and instantly thought of another mean trick to play on Carmen.
Meme2010: the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill.

Ocean: Seriously, these girls are bloodthirsty and stupid.

Meme2010: They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain,

Ocean: Why did she leave the school grounds to go find an open sewer? Because she would have to leave school for that. You see how this just isn't adding up, right?

Meme2010: and began crowding the poor girl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole.

Ocean: And why an open manhole so near the school? This is bull.

Any septic area would have to be constructed in a way to prevent people from just falling or getting shoved in, especially near a school ground.

Meme2006Carmen: Carmen Winstead
Meme2006Jessica: Jessica Smith
Memes2006: was pushed down a sewer opening by 5 girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill.

Ocean: Okay, a fire drill, and these airheads are playing around a sewer? This story just doesn't fly. They just don't have open sewers in close proximity to a scoolground. Safety concerns, you know... I wouldn't call pushing anyone down a sewer "embarrassment" it would be all out abuse, torture, aggravated assault and battery, but no matter. It never happened…

Meme2013: When nobody is looking they give Carmen a hard shove and watch as she tumbles down the hole.
Meme2010: They pushed her and she tripped her over and fell head-first down the manhole.

Ocean: Again, I wouldn't put it past that lot of disgusting maggots if such an opportunity existed. But it doesn't. This whole open sewer drain thing so near a school and right on the property just doesn't ring true any more than sea-apes.

Meme2010: When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen’s name was called out, they shouted "She’s down in the sewer!"

Ocean: At this point, I'm not even sure these girls could be classified as human. They are the types who would've cheerfully done the dirty work for Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, Nero etc.

Meme2010: All of the other students began laughing.

Ocean: What kind of school is this anyway, Demon high? They all laughed? You expect me to buy that?

Meme2013: It was only meant to be a mean joke.

Ocean: Rotten excuse soundly rejected! *Withering glare*

Meme2013:The sickening thumps they heard as she made her way down told them otherwise.

Ocean: Oh, now, dong, suddenly the light goes on! "Duh! Us five sadistic dimwits had like no idea pushing someone down a manhole could do anything beyond tickle!" what hopeless idiots!

Meme2013: They waited for her to resurface but she never did.

Ocean: So first she doesn't sink in the 2006 version, and in later rewrites she doesn't come up, talk about not keeping this bollox story straight.

Meme2010: But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen’s body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped.

Ocean: EWWWWW! Again, just, ewwww! But I'm sure the laughter only stopped because these demon students were sure they were going to catch it.

Meme2010: Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn’t moving.

Ocean: I wouldn't call that worse. If you're going to fall down a manhole to your death, then a quick death would be better than struggling down there drowning in… *Wince*

Meme2010: There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead.

Ocean: So, the 5 pooheads learned how to kill somebody, wow. It was sure worth everybody's time and money sending THEM to school.

Meme2013: Their teacher notices the girls lacking behind the group and asks what they are doing.

Ocean: And the answer to that is simple, they are profoundly stupid.

Meme2013: They tell the teacher that Carmen fell down the hole.

Ocean: Duh! Yeah, like, the teacher's already figured that out.

Never happened.

Memes2006: When she didn't submerge then the police were called.
Meme2013: The teacher instantly calls the police.

Ocean: Uh, no kidding…How about 911? And if Jessicarmen did submerge, they wouldn't have called the cops? right… Such upstanding citizens... *Glare*

Meme2010: When the police arrived and
Memes2006: They
Memes: went down
Meme2010: into the sewer,
Memes2006: and brought up 17 year old
Meme2006Carmen: Carmen Winstead's
Meme2006Jessica: Jessica Smith's
Memes2006: body,

Ocean: Um, Carmen/Jessica, what is it with you two, did you have a race to the sewer or something? I mean, really?

Meme2010: they determined that
Meme2010&Jessica2006: she
Meme2010: had broken
Meme2006Jessica: broke
Meme2010&Jessica2006: her neck
Meme2006Carmen: the neck broke
Meme2010: . Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the
Meme2013: They retrieve Carmen from the hole to find her neck broken and her head gashed in from when she hit her head on the ladder.
Memes2006: hitting the ladder, then
Meme2006Jessica: hit her
Memes2006: side
Meme2006Jessica: on
Memes: concrete at the bottom.

Ocean: Hmmm okay, so with Carmen, it's "the neck" as if you're talking about carving a turkey or something, but Jessica's chain gives "her neck" a little more respect. And what's with the concrete side thing? Carmen falls on a side of the concrete at the bottom, but Jessica hits her side on the concrete at the bottom? Right…

Meme2010: The police hauled Carmen’s body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary.

Ocean: Given the lacking mental faculties of chain letter police, and the hopelessly screwed up mindset of this whole school, I'm surprised they didn't just dissect her in science classes "for the lulz" and easy, undeserved credits.

Meme2010: Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen’s classmates.

Ocean: Wouldn't the police conduct an ongoing investigation, talking with various people one at a time down at the station instead?

Meme2010: The five girls lied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer.

Ocean: Of curse they did, what else would you expect sadistic bullies to do? Get a conscience and actually *gasp* own up to what they did? *Sneer*

Memes2006: The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

Ocean: How stupid is that. Right, it's so totally normal for 17 year old girls to hang out at a sewer, and falling into one is just like nothing? What sort of cops or school administration would believe a set of bullies? Clued out or what? Not to mention this was supposedly in front of the entire school, which was supposed to be the whole point - those bullies were trying to embarrass her in front of the whole dang school. Now you say they were the only witnesses? Get your crap straight.

Meme2010: The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead’s death was ruled an accident and the case was closed.

Ocean: Well that was stupid of the police, wasn't it? Oh, and entirely typical of those five cowardly girls.

Meme2010: Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead,

Ocean: Yeah right…

Meme2010: but they were wrong.

Ocean: *Rolling eyes*

Part 2

Meme2010: Months later, Carmen’s classmates began started recieving receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces.

Ocean: Because Myspace emails are somehow more loaded with evil powers than the regular kind, right. *Snicker*

Meme2010: The e-mails emails were titled "They Pushed Her"

Ocean: Yes, different mutations of this hoax differ by minutia, such as one version putting a hyphen in the word "e-mail" and another one just writing it as all one word.

Meme2010: and It claimed that Carmen hadn’t really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails emails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime.

Ocean: Sometimes murderers pretend to help with real investigations into the crimes they committed themselves. So even if there had been some sort of ghastly tragedy at a school that was caused by bullies, there wouldn't be any silly supernatural thingamajig writing emails to scare out a confession. It would be more than likely the culprit.

Meme2010: If they didn’t there would be horrible consequences.

Ocean: Yeah right. See above.

Meme2010: Most people dismissed the e-mails email as a hoax, but others were not so sure. true.

Ocean: *Beginning to nod off, starts awake* Wait, what? Some dismissed the emails as a hoax while others weren't so sure they were true? That's the whole point, genius, hoaxes aren't true. See how things get muddled as chain letters are recycled, re-written and mutated?

Now, here's where the memes are more or less the same but with some slight differences in wording. The 2010 extended version contains a summary of what happens to a schoolmate of Carmen's, as well as a warning that the same thing will befall anyone else who disbelieves the tale. In addition, it contains the David Gregory story from the original version.

Some reworking was done to cut out the repetition yet show the differences in each version. All examples will be put as simultaneous, so that what happens to David Gregory is happening to the unnamed girl at the same time, rather than putting these two repetitive stories one after the other as the 2010 re-write had done.

Memes: FACT:

Ocean: Please! Don't use words and concepts you know nothing about and certainly didn't include here. Facts? Bull!

Memes2006+: 2 months ago,
Meme2010: A few days later,

Ocean: Well that could be any time. Considering this hoax started in October 2006, you must be stuck back in that time.

Memes2006+: 16 year old

Ocean: Heh, so, this 16 year old has been 16 years old since October 2006…?

Memes2006Carmen: David Gregory
Meme2006Jessica: Ron Anderson

Ocean: So, Carmen likes David, and Jessica likes Ron, I see. Heeheehee. :P Either that or nobody can decide who the guy's name is. for that matter - aw, skip it. Carmen and Jessica have the same problem with their own identities. :P What are the odds of two sewer girl deaths, same age, same state, same time, and haunting two guys who are both 16 and die in the same way? Oh, right, the odds are GET THIS - NONE!

Meme2010: one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer

Ocean: Why doesn't she get named? When it comes to outing bullies, you stink.

Memes: read this post and didn't repost it.

Ocean: Smart move Davron.

Memes2006+: When he went to take a shower he heard laughter from his shower,

Ocean: His shower was laughing? Okay, that's just laughably weird.

Meme2010: was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh.

Ocean: Nothing strange about it, probably her own cackle. Stupid girl's probably still lulzing over what she and her deranged pack of demons did to Carmen/Jessica.

Meme2010: It seemed to be coming from the drain.

Ocean: Seemed to be doesn't mean it actually did. Drains don't laugh. Not unless you fit it with a speaker and some mechanism, electronic gismo, something like what you get in funhouses.

But assuming it's nothing like that, this girl was probably high. The text-to-speech voice used for Carmen on the Fakeyou site as well as in the Youtube videos sound high, in more than one sense of the word.

Memes2006+: he started freaking out and ran to his computer to repost it,

Ocean: Uh, so this David ron Gregory Anderson freaks and thinks running to his computer to post stupid chain letters will keep the boogy shower sewer girl away? Hahahahahahahahahaha! Hey Davron Gregorson, the laughter you're hearing ain't Jessicarmen, it's me!

Meme2010: The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom.

Ocean: Yep, she's high as a kite.

Meme2010: That night, the girl
Memes2006+: He said goodnight to his
Meme2010: her
Memes: mom and went to sleep,

Ocean: Notice the very same template applies to all bogus examples here. He and she/the girl are interchangeable.

Memes2006+: 5
Meme2010: Five
Memes: hours later,

Ocean: Yep, it's always five hours later, isn't it? No variation in this part of the story whether it comes in the 2000 or the 2010 version and supposedly happens to different people...

Memes2006+: his
Meme2010: her
Memes: mom
Memes2006+: woke up
Meme2010: was awoken
Memes: in the middle of the night
Memes2006+ cause of
Meme2010: by
Memes: a loud noise,
Meme2010: that resounded throughout the house.

Ocean: Ah, that can happen if a car backfires or an alarm goes off when it shouldn't, something gets dropped, yeah, you're not scaring me…

Meme2010: She ran into her daughter’s room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl.

Ocean: So the girl's out joyriding and it's her luxury car backfiring.

Memes2006Carmen+: David
Meme2006Jessica: Ron Anderson
Meme2010: the girl
Memes: was gone,

Ocean: Yeah right, probably out somewhere.

Meme2010: The worried mother called the police and when they arrived, they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl’s grisly remains.

Ocean: Okay, then it was probably somebody else's car backfiring. Either way, Party Girl's dead, gotcha. Still not scared.

Meme2010: Her corpse was discovered lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop crap. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off.

Ocean: My gosh this girl had problems. Drug addiction is bad enough, and considerably easier to understand. But this girl was into sewers, right along with her four poohead friends. It was they who were into stuffing dog poo into people's pockets, it was they who thought it would be a hilarious hoot pushing somebody into a manhole. And now this girl still didn't have enough of a crap fix so she wandered off in the middle of the night to get more of it at the sewer where she helped kill somebody. that's just repulsive, and eventually her disgusting obsession killed her.

Memes2006+: that morning a few hours later the police found him in the sewer, his neck broke and his face skin on his face peeled off

Ocean: So let me get this straight, we never find out what the loud noise was and are somehow supposed to get scared into thinking Davron got stolen by Carmessica and dragged into a sewer via some sort of sonic booming crash?

Meme2010: One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead that day. They had all been killed in exactly the same exact way and were all found at exactly the same location spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom.

Ocean: No, wrong. Some of these freaks met their fate elsewhere.

Besides, with these mutations when put together like that with the slight rewordings really confuse the timeline. The girls who pushed Carmen that day, were found dead that day? Whatever happened to, what was it, a month later?

And really, if there was some sort of massacre where all the bodies were dumped into a sewer, it would've made the news instead of just floating around cyberspace in this hokey chain letter.

Meme2010: But the killing didn’t stop there. More and more of Carmen’s former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn’t believe Carmen's story that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found dead down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off in the same exact manner.

Ocean: Now look here, pal. I never have, still don't, and never will believe this story, and I have seen it many times without reposting it, and no such disgusting end has or will happen to me because of it. Besides, if there was even one such real event, it would've been worldwide news because of the horror, and it would be remembered as a true event, not just spread around in silly internet chain letter posts. I already touched on that somewhere above.

Meme2010: They say that Carmen’s ghost is still on the rampage, still hunting down anyone who doesn’t believe her story. According to the legend,
Memes2006Carmen+: Carmen
Meme2006Jessica: Jessica
Memes: will get you,

Ocean: Get me what? An Iphone? An Ipod touch? A mixer for making recordings? I'll tell you what, so far, they got me laughing.

Memes2006+: either
Meme2010: whether it’s
Memes: from through a sewer, a toilet, a shower,
Meme2010: a sink or a drain.

Ocean: Ewww! Carmen, Jessica, if you're going to get me stuff, I want it brand-new, unopened, unused, uncontaminated, clean and dry. So don't get me some Ipod touch that somehow got dropped and broken down some stinky toilet or sewer, or even ruined in a shower…

Memes2006+: or when you go to sleep you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark,
Meme2010: complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing laughing sounds cackling laughter all around you.

Memes: then

Ocean: Then you'll maybe wake up from dreaming that and realize that I'm still here to smash your chain and kick your butt back into 2006!

Memes: and then
Memes2006Carmen+: Carmen
Memes: will come out to kill you.

Ocean: As if. Because unlike that fine bunch, I don't hang around sewers. And, she doesn't exist.

Meme2010: as you scream in horror,

Ocean: You never said anything about Carmen or Jessica screaming in horror. I understood their deaths were instantaneous. Besides, when around stinky places, I tend to keep my mouth tightly shut unless I must open it to gag or puke.

Meme2010: Carmen will come and tear your face off.

Ocean: Rubbish.

Meme2010: So be careful who you bully,

Ocean: 1. I don't bully. I hate bullying, which is why I smash chain letters.

2. You assume everyone reading this is a bully, and that is wrong and insulting.

3. Forget the "be careful" stuff. The real sound advice is simply this: Don't bully, period...

4. Any real bully is not going to pay any mind to advice that discourages bullying. Your fiction won't make them grow a conscience, and attempting to scare them out of bullying doesn't actually fix what's wrong with these people.

Meme2010: because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead.

Ocean: No, actually, Carmen Winstead is on the end of a smashing by us chain-smashers.

Meme2010: Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

Ocean: Wrong. if you Google her name, you'll find articles on hoax-busting sites, debunking this story, as well as a lot of discussions elsewhere with people expressing fright, curiosity, disbelief, and laughing at the implausible tale.

Memes: If you don't repost this saying "

Memes2006Carmen+: They hurt her
Memes: She was pushed" or "They Pushed her down a sewer"

Ocean: Then maybe all you meme-addicted trolls will jump in a sewer…

I'll live, mangle this meme, and whoever originated it can kick themselves for making up such a dumb hoax and getting laughed at!

Memes2006: Then
Memes2006Carmen+: Carmen
Meme2006Jessica: Jessica
Memes: will come and kill you.…

Ocean: Hah! I really don't think they'd want to try that…

Ocean: Yeah, Carmen Winstead and Jessica Smith, just wait until I put you in one of my writings. Heh, heh, heh! *diabolical grin* I'll turn you into useful, likable characters who will dislike memes as much as I do.

Meme2012: Got kinda shook so I reposted,

Ocean: I don't care how 'shook' you got, that's no excuse for spamming the net with more copies of this stupid hoax.

Meme2012: if you google Carmen Winstead it's actually true

Ocean: *Rolling eyes* I suppose you'd believe in unicorns and the cow jumped over the moon if you Googled that and got results too.

Just because you get results on a search engine doesn't make it true, and if you really did google Carmen Winstead, you would find proof very quickly that the story is a huge hoax.

Meme2013: Repost this or Carmen will come for you, be it by sewer, toilet, or shower and kill you.

Ocean: Wrong. Considering how many edits that have been made to this smash, adding to it over the years, that in itself should be proof for anyone that there is no sewer ghost girl, and we've seen so many versions of this chain, refusing to forward a single one of them, and, we're still here! So, readers, relax, nothing will happen to you for not passing on this stupid chain, no matter how many times it gets rewritten.

There! Take that, hoaxers!