This mutation of the stupid "shock of your life" meme has been going around at least as far back as 2019 according to this "Copy Pasta" (copy paste) subreddit link.
It was also posted in part on Wispr, Lost Cities Keeper Fandom, and Facebook among other places.
Let's mangle it!
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Meme: Please you have to send it
Ocean: No, I do not. But I will, so I can rip it to pieces.
Meme: Hey girl ↓Read it all!↓
Ocean: You'll be sorry. Every chain letter that gets read by me doesn't get merely broken. They get trounced, smashed, mangled.
Meme: ↓I mean it!↓
Ocean: So do I, you'll be revealed for the power-hungry yet powerless troll you are for bugging my friends with this stupid hoax.
Meme: ↓Read it all!↓
Ocean: You already said that.
Meme: 💀If you were killed, I wouldn't be at your funeral.💀
Ocean: Oh, good. I'd only want people I actually gave a crap about to attend. But that doesn't matter. I don't plan on dying any time soon, so cut the death-wish drollery.
Meme: 👊I'd be in jail for killing the person who killed you.👊
Ocean: Unless they killed you first. But like I said, I don't plan on being killed. If that's what you're into, go take a hike, preferably to outer space.
I know, you're probably trying to sound all profound with this drivel, but you are failing.
Meme: 👭We are true friends.👭
Ocean: Ugh - creepers! you don't even know me! You wouldn't want to know me, either. You do not know my friends who got your hoax from other people who got it from still others. I'm not a nice elf to trolling hoaxers.
Meme: 💁We ride together, we die together.💁
Ocean: Oh, please! Knock off the song lyric quotes...It really doesn't make you sound impressive.
https://www.quotes.net/mquote/6167
Besides, you just said I would get killed and then you'd be in jail for killing my killer. So how in the world would you expect to ride and die together with me. See how your dumb dreck story just doesn't make any sense?
Meme: 😌Send this to everybody you care about, including me, if you care.😌 ⃣ Ocean: 1. I don't care about you.
2. If I had a nickel for every time a chain letter made this kind of demand, I'd be as rich as Midas.
3. Take a hint, you don't show caring with spam.
Meme: See how many times u get this.#⃣
Ocean: That's stupid as it was back in the days before Facebook. No one but a troll wants copies and copies and copies of the same bilge memes.
Meme: 💯I want you to know you are an amazing friend, till death and forever.💯
Ocean: Oh, shut it! *Scowl*
Meme: 😞If I don't get this back, I understand.😞
Ocean: Yeah, you'll understand that I'm not an idiot who believes spam = friendship.
Meme: 🤗But I have a game for you.🤗
Ocean: And I have a correction for you. Your so-called "game" is not a game, it's a chain letter.
Meme: 🤔Once you read this letter,
Ocean: I tear it to shreds and expose the hoaxer's true intent.
Meme: you must send this to 15 people, including me.🤔
Ocean: Like I said, not a "game" but a meme demand. You are in no position to tell me what I "must" do.
I can't send it to you, nor would I if I knew who you were.
Meme: ❤If you get at least three back, you are loved.❤
Ocean: BOLLOX! All that would prove is that three others fell for your dreck.
Meme: 😦Nobody knows how important something is, until they lose it.😦
Ocean: Trying to gush all deep again. Oh please. Don't speak for everyone. There are people, lots of us, who hold things and loved ones as most important. You, hoaxer, are not one of them. And because people and things are important to us, we don't want to lose them. Understand so far?
What's losing important things got to do with your spamming racket anyway?
Meme: 😍Tonight, (right at 12:00pm) the person you love will realize they love you.😍
Ocean: Wow, this stupid love/crush hoax is still going around!?
The people I love, already know I love them, so your chain letter won't make anyone magically realize anything at midnight anywhere in the world.
Meme: 😯Then, at 1:00pm to 2:00pm, be ready for the shock of your life!😯
Ocean: Oh brother, again with that hackneyed old "shock of your life" thing. That claim has been going around in these stupid hoaxes since the start of the internet. It was bollox then, and it's bollox now, and always will be.
Meme: 😲If you break this chain,
Ocean: It means I didn't fall for your stupid hoax.
Meme: you will have bad luck.😲
Ocean: Only in your dreams. You can't control anything about me, not my feelings, what I do on the net, and especially not the future. That you think I'd believe you could determine the way my life goes based on whether I spam anyone with your chain letter or not, is utterly ridiculous.
Meme: 💓With love, send this to the 15💓
Ocean: *Sigh* Okay, how to get it through to you? *Pounds on hoaxer's head and hears echo* Hello!? HEL-LO! Anybody home in there!? YO! Dude!? Chick!? Whatever you are!? Listen up!
Your chain letter is none of the following: - caring - friendship - a game - luck - love!
Meme: 🙍If you don't,
Ocean: You'll be mad. Oh well, tough darts for you.
Meme: you will turn ugly in one year.🙍
Ocean: Bull...!
Meme: 🗣A friend told me to do this, so past it on.🗣
Ocean: Apparently you have a uber moron for a friend, and if they told you to make up a chain letter, you're an even bigger moron for doing what they told you to do.
Friends don't tell or encourage friends to create and spread hoaxes or other sorts of spam.
Meme: 📲Tomorrow, two boys/girls will ask if they can I have your number?📲
Ocean: 1. Your chain letter can't make that happen at any time.
2. I don't want random strangers asking me for my number.
Meme: 📅Send this message to 15 nice, people or bad luck starts for a whole year.📅
Ocean: Balderdash!
No sending here.
Besides, you said I'd be ugly after a year. Now you say I'd have bad luck first. So which is it? Or maybe you think only "ugly" people have good luck.
Whatevs. Such is the mind of a desperate hoaxer, trying to take the world by chain letter spam.
Meme: 🙅This is not fake.🙅
Ocean: It's as fake as a 30$ bill. Shame on you for using the person making a cross sign emoji! *Scowl*
Meme: 🙌Apparently, if you copy and paste this, you will have the best day of your life tomorrow!🙌
Ocean: No. If I spammed anyone with this, I'd annoy someone and look like a doofus.
Meme: 😼Good luck!
Ocean: There, now you finally showed a little honesty with that smirk. Well I'm gonna take pleasure in raining on your parade and wiping that smirk off your face, by not falling for your rubbish meme. BTW, I do not wish you good luck.
Meme: 😃Oh! And don’t send this to a group chat!!!😃 ..... I’m sorry Maisy......
Ocean: But you said send it to 15 people. Last I checked, that's a group.
So Ms. Hoaxer, whoever you are, ride on out of here, and don't let the virtual door hit your lousy *slam!* butt on the way out!