New Years Twits

Every year, politics gets stupider and stupider.

This stupid article appeared on Daily Dot.


👹Title of article: Chelsea Clinton wishes Happy New Year to Church of Satan in bizarre Twitter thread

David Britton— Jan 3 at 6:00AM

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Twitter, well, go figure. Why the heck is anyone paying any attention to the crap that passes for content on that twit-exchange any more?

👹David Britton: Chelsea Clinton refuses to back down from the internet trolls

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because naturally anybody who opposes the almighty, most noble, upstanding, benevolent Clintons must automatically be burned at the stake as a witch! Uh, sorry, wrong line... Branded as a TROLL! 🙄

👹David Britton: On Tuesday; a strange series of tweets involving Hooters, model Chrissy Teigen,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ugh. I can already tell this is going to be something nobody should've paid attention to.

👹David Britton: and a right-wing conspiracy theorist

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Because to be non-left is to be either a troll, a "conspiracy theorist" or both, but of course! Gah, same old, same old bullcrap! 😤

👹David Britton: led to Chelsea Clinton wishing The Church of Satan a Happy New Year on Twitter.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Something she surely wouldn't have done except for being provoked into TROLLING the "troll".... I mean, it's Chelsea CLINTON! So anything she says must absolutely have totally good logic behind it! Right?

Not so much...

👹David Britton: It started when right-wing conspiracy theorist

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: There you go again... Must totally make sure to brainwash any and all readers that this is a "right wing CONSPIRACY THEORIST!" because there is like no logical opposition to the left, EVER! Oh, get out of here!

👹David Britton: Liz Crokin tweeted pictures of model Chrissy Teigen with her husband John Legend and their one-year-old daughter Luna. The pictures show Luna in various Halloween costumes, including Alice in Wonderland, a hot dog, and a pineapple.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 1. Why would she be bothered reposting these pictures that don't belong to her?

2. Why is that so important?

3. What's that got to do with me and why should I care?

👹David Britton: In one of the pictures, a pizza emoji can be seen and this, Crokin implies, is a reference to Pizzagate, the bizarre theory that Hillary Clinton and others were running a child sex ring out of the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizza restaurant.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 🙄 *Exasperation* FCOL, drop the BS "pizza gate" thing already! Seriously? Who is even going to take something seriously with such a dumb name? "Pizzagate" fooey! *Pfft* Time may or may not tell if the Clintons are running a kiddy porn/sex ring but man oh man the left sure scrambles to sweep any of that under the rug while going out of their way to paint anyone on the non-left as sleazy... Just drop the freaking stupid "pizza gate" for once and for all. Launch an actual investigation and give it a name that anyone with more than 2 barely functioning brain cells can get behind. 🤯

👹David Britton: The now-deleted tweet scared Teigen, who posted screenshots of the tweet and some of its responses.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yeah, well that Liz whatsherface shouldn't have done that. The last thing the non-left needs is people pretending to be on board with them, only to turn out to be complete blithering morons. 😞 But when it happens, the whole internet sure doesn't need to go bonkers over it! 😒

👹David Britton: This is when Clinton, who’s dealt with more than her fair share of online harassment,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh my gosh, gotta totally make sure the readers see every Clinton as some poor, most innocent, "victim of harassment" ever! Not buying it. 😠

👹David Britton: jumped in to show her support.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: 'Rah rah sister Chelsea! You go get 'em! Atta gal!' Yeah right. How heroic!

I remember when Princess Diana and Mother Theresa were the sorts of people held up as heroes.

Now the bar has been lowered to stupid Twitter fights, where you can only reach that coveted exulted status of some kind of hero if you're on the left, and if you are on the non-left and you are actually *gasp* not a troll, and with actual common sense, you get completely ignored. The media really doesn't want to go there, because sensible, considerate, regular people who are not trolls and not on the left, are a huge threat to the prevailing narrative.

👹David Britton: Crokin, whose Twitter verification has now been removed, didn’t back down on her claim, and accused Teigen of associating with people “who rape, torture & traffic kids.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Yet Twitter does nothing when ugly rumors claiming the same things, only directed at the right from the left go completely unchecked, no unverifying of accounts going on there.

People really need to stop being stupid, and the media needs to stop being so insanely biased.

👹David Britton: Things got even weirder from there when,

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Blah. You're boring me to death.

👹David Britton: according to the Daily Caller, an account called @roughhooters

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Why in the freaking heck would anybody pay attention to, let alone take such an idiotic account seriously?

👹David Britton: responded to the conversation, leading to that account being suspended.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: *Aaa-choooooooooooo!* No duh... *Achoooooooo! Achoooooooooooo!*

👹David Britton: After someone alerted Hooters to the tweet the restaurant chain responded

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: If I wasn't so plugged up, I could nod off. Who cares what that sleazy company has to say?

👹David Britton: to say

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I don't give a flying hot dart.

👹David Britton: they were not affiliated with the account.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, wow, any moron could've figured *that* out!

👹David Britton: Which just led to more confusion for Teigen.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: I'm not interested in a Hooters girl's confused state.

👹David Britton: Again Clinton responded to let Teigen know that his kind of weirdness is par for the course.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's SUPER CLINTON!

Why did anybody even bother with this stupid non-story?

👹David Britton: Clinton noted that last year she’d been mentioned in tweets involving The Church of Satan.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Oh, now this *cough* 'saga' might finally be coming to an end.

Besides last year's tweet crapstorms among catty politicians being old news, whoever first brought up the whole church of Satan thing was probably just another loser who makes way too much time for the devil and is exactly the sort of person the leftist mainstream media loves to lulz at.

👹David Britton: The Church of Satan, never one to pass up on an opportunity for publicity, responded by saying “The never ending excitement is never ending.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: One word, scram...

👹David Britton: At this point, Clinton probably threw her hands in the air, said “flare it,” and wished them a Happy New Year.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Or, she thought "Lulz harharharharhar! Golden opportunity to get back in the public eye, the media's all on my side, I can do no wrong, I'll just troll right-wing nuts and really make them go craaaaaaaaaaazeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and just "for the lulz" wished the Satanists a happy new year.

So, it started with troll stupidity, went through Hooters cruft, and ended with the biggest troll to top off the whole sorry waste of bandwidth.

👹David Britton: And the Church responded in kind.

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Ooooooh, how totally touching, how romantic even. *Sneer*

👹David Britton: For the record, The Church of Satan claims to be atheist and doesn’t worship any sort of supernatural being. “Satan to us is a symbol of pride, liberty and individualism” they say on their official website, “and it serves as an external metaphorical projection of our highest personal potential. We do not believe in Satan as a being or person.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: Splitting that hair really doesn't matter to me. But this is not the time or place to get into some religious or theological discussion or debate. I have my own views on the subject and I'm sticking to them.

👹David Britton: But that didn’t stop Infowars from saying “Former first daughter joyous over discussion with Satanic organization.”

🧝‍♀️Ocean Elf: And that is somehow worse than the things Hillary Clinton said about women who didn't vote for her?

Bottom line: Chelsea Clinton threw the biggest troll move in a stupid Twitter tiff that never should've received so much attention. But click-baiters love this kind of stuff..

Over - and - out!


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