Oh no! Not again! Not with that proverbial atheist professor! Not that!Please don't tell me it's Time To Whip That Big Bad Old Atheist Prof Again!
The meme is a story about a defiant atheist professor, who is pitted against students who are, unfortunately, usually Christian, in the military, or both. He is always denigrating them for belief in God. Some versions have him making absurd demands and tests involving chalk or eggs being thrown, or him standing on his chair, demanding God to knock him down. He is sure God's inaction would bring the class to their knees in shame as their faith is utterly crushed. Then one of the students stands up and says/does something to outsmart or just intimidate him into backing down as he is made to realize he is the stupid one. The efforts of the students are as underwhelming as the teacher's actions are offish.
The versions aimed at Christians have generated backlash and derision against Christians, doing nothing but harm to Christianity's reputation on the net.
But did you know there are Islamic versions of this meme that have the professor screeching about the existence of Allah?
Since the versions that are aimed at Christians are the most popular and infamous, and so-called debunking sites have not bothered with the inclusion of the Islamic versions, it is the latter being mangled here.
There are also manglings of these closely related memes.
this chain in joke form about a poop girl schooling an atheist on a plane.
It's about time for this notorious meme to get utterly mangled, by Christians instead of always ranted back at and anti-chained by atheists.
Let's mangle!
π³ββοΈπ§Memes: Dialogue with an Atheist Professor
π³ββοΈMeme1: An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with ALLAH, The ALMIGHTY. He asks one of his New Muslim Student to stand and . . .
π§Meme2: "Let me explain the problem science has with Allah.", The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor :
π³ββοΈ You are
π§ "You're
π³ββοΈπ§ a Muslim, aren't you, son?"
Student: "Yes, sir."
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : "So you Believe in ALLAH ?"
π§ββοΈOcean Elf: Well he doesn't believe in your stupid pet the flying spaghetti monster. Duh.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : "Absolutely
π³ββοΈ , sir."
π§ββοΈ Gong, please?
π³ββοΈ Professor : Is ALLAH Good ?
π§ββοΈ this guy is clearly off his rocker. He is obviously no philosophy professor.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : "Sure.
π§ ! Allah's good"
π§ββοΈ Oh, I think I might have some idea why this angle in the Muslim version of this chain. It's because of their "Allah is good" and "Allah willingg" mantras or whatever you call 'em. This poor excuse of a professor is trying to get his Muslim students to denounce those.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : "Is ALLAH ALL - POWERFUL ?
π§ Can Allah do anything?"
π§ββοΈ Why are you even asking since you are so set on not believing? This is all just some sort of cat&mouse game with you.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student: "Yes"
π§ββοΈ *Sigh* he could've answered "You figure it out if you think you're so smart."
π§ The professor grins knowingly and considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
π§ββοΈ Prying into prople's characteristics on such a personal level, that's definitely not philosophy any more. This so-called class and professor are a pathetic farce.
π§ Student: "Yes sir, I would"
π§ββοΈ Any decent person would answer that way.
π§ Professor: "So you're good...!"
π§ββοΈ Huh? He's trying to get somebody to sound as if they are boasting, and if they don't boast, that must mean they don't think helping people is good. This creep really loves putting people in tight spots, and this passes for teaching philosophy? Maybe in Chainland, but not the real world.
π§ Student: "I wouldn't say that"
π§ββοΈ No matter what you say, this creepy prof isn't going to be satisfied.
π§ Professor: "Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could in fact most of us would if we could... Allah doesn't"
π§ββοΈ So predictable and so arrogant.
π§ [No answer]
π§ββοΈ I'll answer that for you. If you said "I'm good" that would be - well, it would come off sounding kind of bad about whoever said it about themselves, regardless of religion. People just don't go around telling others how good they think they are. That's not only conceited, but it would be setting oneself up for a fall. Conceit is one of the things heavily warned against, at least in the Christian faith.
π§ "He doesn't, does he?
π§ββοΈ Allah doesn't think you're good, professor Creep? Heh, I'm fine with that.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : My Brother
π§ was a Muslim who
π³ββοΈπ§ died of cancer even though he prayed to Allah to heal him.
π§ββοΈ Argh! Again with the cancer!
*Scowl* Don't use that as an excuse to bully other people into converting to your religion of atheism. Would your brother want you turning away from Allah? I doubt it. The last thing he would've wanted for you is to turn against allah and then use his death as an excuse to do that plus try to coerce others out of their faith.
However, it is interesting to note that it is the Islamic chain letter that brought cancer into this.
π³ββοΈ Most of us would attempt to Help Others who are ill.
π§ββοΈ So far, Mr. Professor, I don't see you doing that.
π³ββοΈ But ALLAH didn't.
π§ββοΈ So do you apply that to everybody who doesn't give you your own way? They must not be good, right from your parents who didn't give you that toy you wanted as a kid, to that teacher who didn't give you a 100% on your assignment in grade school, even though that teacher probably took care of a sick relative or visited a sick friend, or who knowsβ¦ What I'm getting at is - your attitude stinks.
π³ββοΈπ§ How is this ALLAH Good
π³ββοΈ then ?
π³ββοΈπ§ Hmm ?
π§ Can you answer that one?"
π§ββοΈ how is your atheism good? It doesn't cure sickness, Professor Creep.
π³ββοΈ (Student is silent)
π³ββοΈ Professor : You can't answer, can you ?
π§ββοΈ Neither can you. Not only that, you can't teach worth a crap. Your poor excuse of a class and your heartlessness suck.
π§ [No answer]
π§ββοΈ This isn't getting anywhere fast. The student shouldn't have to answer when some anti-theist troll in a professor's disguise deliberately tries to make him uncomfortable.
π§ The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones"
π§ββοΈ Sympathetic my foot. He's gloating up a storm, he's getting a huge lulz and laying on the patronizing mock-pity to really rub it in that he's got this hapless student cornered. This isn't philosophy, it's an attempt at forced indoctrination. It's straight up bullying.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : "Let's start again, young fella"
π§ββοΈ Hey Professor, I think you need a glass of water more than your student. You need one dumped over your head.
π³ββοΈπ§ "Is ALLAH Good ?
π§ββοΈ You've been through that already, and you have no intention of respecting the student's opinion, belief, or right to his own faith.
π§ Student: "Er...
π³ββοΈπ§ Yes."
π§ββοΈ How many times are we going to go through this?
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor: "Is Satan good?"
π§ββοΈ What a stupid question.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student: "No."
π§ββοΈ Good answer, but Professor Headinbutt is only trying to twist it all around to make as if God is evil. The stinkface won't be satisfied with anything less than a renunciation of any belief in God or allah from the entire student body.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor: "Where does Satan come from?"
π§ββοΈ Look, Professor Knowitall, you already decided in your own over-opinionated mind that he doesn't exist, so stop asking. That God created all the angels, including those who fell doesn't make him guilty of evil. They had free will. They chose to rebel. That's on Satan, not God.
π§ "The student falters.
π³ββοΈπ§ "From... Allah..."
π§ββοΈ Well, Satan didn't create himself.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor: "That's right.
π§ββοΈ I thought you didn't believe in either one.
π§ Allah made Satan, didn't He?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen". He turns back to the Muslim.
π§ββοΈ Oh I'm sure you get a real charge out of giving believers in God or Allah the third degree and then patting yourself on the back whenever you get them flustered. You're not a teacher, you're a troll. *Rolling eyes*
π³ββοΈπ§ "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
π§ββοΈ You would knowβ¦
π³ββοΈπ§ Student: "Yes,
π§ sir"
π§ββοΈ I think that has already been established.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor :
π³ββοΈ "Evil is
π§ "Evil's
π³ββοΈπ§ everywhere, isn't it ?
π³ββοΈ And ALLAH did make Everything. Correct ?
π§ Did Allah make everything?"
π§ββοΈ Sheesh, Professor Brokenrecord, unstick your needle already! You're not going to un-Muslim someone by asking him the same dumb questions a zillion times! You have no right to even try in a classroom setting!
π³ββοΈπ§ Student: "Yes"
π§ββοΈ Yeah, this subjectt has been beaten to death already, now move on.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor :
π³ββοΈ So
π³ββοΈπ§ who created evil ?"
π§ββοΈ *Facepalm* Don't be stupider than you can possibly help! The rebellion was Satan's idea, so Satan created evil. Get that through your thick head...!
π³ββοΈ (Student does not
π§ [No
π³ββοΈπ§ answer])
π§ββοΈ Okay, one more time...! Just because God created Satan doesn't mean god created evil. That's like saying you killed somebody after some theif stole your knife or gun or rope etc. and killed someone with it. Satan created evil. It's the only thing he can create after deciding of his own free will to be evil.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : Is there Sickness ?
π§ in this world?
π³ββοΈπ§ Immorality ? Hatred ? Ugliness ?
π§ββοΈ Hah! Hatred and ugliness - well, you'd know all about that now wouldn't you? And you said yourself, Professor Stuckneedle, that your Muslim bro died of cancer, so you know darn well there is sickness.
π³ββοΈπ§ All
π³ββοΈ these
π§ the
π³ββοΈπ§ terrible things
π§ - do they
π³ββοΈπ§ exist in
π³ββοΈ the
π§ this
Chains6&7 World,
π³ββοΈ don't they ?"
π§ββοΈ Duh. You should know. But don't blame either God or belief in God or Allah for it.
π§ The student squirms on his feet.
π§ββοΈ And the professor grins smugly, revelling in his lulz for the day.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : Yes,
π³ββοΈ sir.
π§ββοΈ As the smug professor prepares to go in for the killβ¦
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor :
π³ββοΈ So,
π³ββοΈπ§ who Created them ?
π§ββοΈ *They're a side-effect of the original sin, which - aw crap, never mind, you're not interested and the whole concept of cause and effect in this case and it would go right over your head anyway.
π³ββοΈ (Student has
π³ββοΈπ§ no answer)
π§ββοΈ I already answered that, Professor Troll.
π§ The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Muslim's face. In a still small voice: "Allah created all evil, didn't He, son?"
π§ββοΈ I'm getting this hilarious mental image of the incredible shrinking professor, who first assaults this poor kid with a thunderous shout, then shrinks to bug size so he can literally climb into the student's face and deliver his small-voiced coup de gras.
Melodramatic like a cliche villain. Back off, buddy! You're so repetitive and boring!
π§ [No answer] The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails.
π§ββοΈ And the professor just about bursts inwardly with delight.
π§ Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized.
π§ββοΈ right, really gotta make sure we know he's old.
π§ "Tell me, he continues, How is it that this Allah is good if He created all evil throughout all time? The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good Allah is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
π§ββοΈ You can swish swoosh your arms around like a drug-hyped idiot all you want, but Satan created all evil, and talked the first humans into committing their first sin which got the whole ugly ball of wax rolling. That wasn't god's idea, you narrow-minded cretin.
π§ [No answer]
π§ββοΈ The poor student is probably wondering by now what sort of whacky shack kooky kangaroo court of a class this is.
π§ "Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers, "Is Allah good?"
π§ββοΈ Coercion, coercion, coercion.
π§ [No answer]
π§ββοΈ This has really gone off the rails. I thought this professor dude said he was going to talk about why he thought science had a problem with allah - in a philosophy classβ¦ Philosophy? Science? So far, neither has shown up.
π§ "Do you believe in Allah, son?"
π§ββοΈ It is really none of your business, creepo.
π§ The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do"
The old man shakes his head sadly.
π§ββοΈ Creepy psycho. First he goes easy on the kid, then gets in his face, then turns sad. What next, a lightning strike? Maniacal laughter?
π³ββοΈ Professor :
π³ββοΈπ§ Science says you have
π³ββοΈ 5
π§ five
π³ββοΈπ§ Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.
π§ββοΈ However did you manage to grasp that concept, Professor Dingbat?
π³ββοΈ Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen ALLAH ?
π§ββοΈ Because seeing is so personal and describes so many different levels of experience whether it be literally physical sight, or mind-sight, but by now the class has probably figured out there was no use trying to explain such deep concepts to this idiot.
π§ You have never seen Allah, Have you?"
π§ββοΈ And that student apparently had to come up with something to try and end this exercise in coercive humiliation.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : No, sir.
π§ I've never seen Him"
π§ββοΈ *Yawn*
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor :
π§ "Then
π³ββοΈπ§ Tell us if
π³ββοΈ you have
π§ you've
π³ββοΈπ§ ever Heard your ALLAH ?
π§ββοΈ Ever heard you're boring?
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : No , sir.
π§ I have not"
π§ββοΈ Well, what else could the student do at this point, short of trying to come up with an excuse to walk out?
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : Have you ever Felt your ALLAH , Tasted your ALLAH ,
π§ or
π³ββοΈπ§ Smelt your ALLAH ?
π§ββοΈ 'Smelt' has two meanings. It is a type of small fish. In working with metals, smelting is also a process of melting or fusing ores. The past tense for 'smell' is 'smelled'.
π§ Professor: ...in fact, do you have
π³ββοΈ Have you ever had
π³ββοΈπ§ any Sensory Perception of
π§ your
π³ββοΈπ§ ALLAH
π§ whatsoever?"
π³ββοΈ for that matter ?
π§ββοΈ Sheesh, Professor Clod, give it a freaking rest!
π§ [No answer]
π§ββοΈ of course. This student is as sick of it as everyone else!
π§ Professor: "Answer me, please"
π§ββοΈ Oh, shut up, please!
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
π§ββοΈ Lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, blah, blah, blah. Bo-ring! I think the plot, what little there is of it, got caught in a sand trap or something.
π§ Professor: "You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
π§ββοΈ Oh, I'll bet Professor Bully is just wallowing in the unpleasantness he's created for these students. He'd love nothing more than for some theist to be terribly afraid and quaking in their boots before him. I don't know why anyone doesn't just tell him to take his twisted abuse of his position and his job and fly a kite.
π§ Student: "No, sir"
π§ββοΈ Right, just sick of this third degree.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM ?
π§ββοΈ And that just boils your bloodβ¦
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : Yes.
π§ββοΈ *Sigh* Are we getting there any time in the future?
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor:
π§ "That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling.
π§ββοΈ Know what else takes faith, Professor Hypocrite? Your freaking atheism! Yes! Your faith consists of a blind willingness to embrace the ideology that says there is no God.
π³ββοΈπ§ "According to
π§ the rules of
π³ββοΈπ§ empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your Allah doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
π§ββοΈ Wrong. Your precious rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocolic science says nothing of the sort. It does not disprove the existence of Allah or God. Science is changeable and only as good as the humans studying it. That's why theories change over time, and so do animal classifications. Skunks were once believed to be members of the weasel family. Not any more.
AndCut the 'son' stuff, you're really annoying with that!
π³ββοΈ Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith .
π§ββοΈ Expect the professor to throw another fit.
π³ββοΈ Professor : Yes. Faith . And that is the Problem Science has.
π§ββοΈ Wrong! It takes faith to believe in science.
π§ Where is your Allah now?"
π§ββοΈ Nevermind, creep, you're too young to understandβ¦
π§ The student doesn't answer
π§ββοΈ Because he's pretty much out of options. Insisting Allah does exist would only drag out the argument since that ogre of a professor is so obsessed that he simply would never stop until he got his way. The student can't do that because it isn't right or safe to go against his own conscience and tell a lie of disbelief.
π§ "Sit down, please"
π§ββοΈ and you, Professor Creep, shut up already!
π§ The Muslim sits...Defeated.
π§ββοΈ Much to Professor Bully's gloating delightβ¦ *Rolling eyes*
π§ Another Muslim raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
π§ββοΈ Double ugh.
π§ The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Muslim in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering"
π§ββοΈ *Pfft* Condescending crud.
π§ The Muslim looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you.
π³ββοΈ Student : Professor,
π³ββοΈπ§ is there such a thing as Heat ?
π§ββοΈ Oh, brother.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : Yes.
π§ the professor replies. There's heat.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student :
π³ββοΈ And
π³ββοΈπ§ is there such a thing as Cold ?
π§ββοΈ *Yawn* here we go with the silly 'cold doesn't really exist because it's just absence of heat' thing again...
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor: "Yes,
π§ son, there's cold too."
π§ββοΈ *Facepalm* enough with the 'son' already!
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : No sir. There isn't.
π§ββοΈ *Rolling eyes*
π³ββοΈ (The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events)
π§ Professor: The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold.
π§ββοΈ wow! that must be some grin to lower the actual temperature throughout a whole room! I'm surprised he hasn't managed to blast everyone into smouldering ashes with the terror of his eyes yet!
π§ The student continues.
π³ββοΈ Student : Sir,
π³ββοΈπ§ you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold.. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
π³ββοΈ There is no such thing as Cold.
π§ otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458, You see, sir,
π³ββοΈπ§ Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold.
π§ Heat we can measure in thermal units because
π³ββοΈπ§ Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
π§ββοΈ Blah, blah, blah, nonsense. really, I could turn that around and say that heat doesn't exist either, because it's just the absence of cold. And don't even give me this about a tree falling in a forest not making a sound just because nobody was there to hear it thing.
π³ββοΈ (There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre)
π§ Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
π§ββοΈ Again with the freaking pin-drop. Argh!
π³ββοΈπ§ Student
π³ββοΈ : What about Darkness, Professor ?
π³ββοΈπ§ Is there such a thing as Darkness ?
π§ professor?"
π§ββοΈ Oh, for the love!
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor
π§ "That's a dumb question, son.
π§ββοΈ Aaaaargh!
π³ββοΈ Yes.
π³ββοΈπ§ What is Night if
π³ββοΈ there
π§ it
π³ββοΈπ§ isn't Darkness ?
π§ What are you getting at...?"
π§ββοΈ *Rolling eyes* The same old idea as with the heat VS. cold.
π§ Student: "So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
π§ββοΈ Ack! Move on!
π§ Professor: "Yes..."
π§ββοΈ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The absence of light thing. Still no more relevant. I could also say light is absence of darkness. But this chain is trying to make a lame play on dark = evil and light = God thing and this is seriously profane and not at all a true story about any professor or Einstein or anyone else and certainly not God!
π³ββοΈπ§ Student :
π³ββοΈπ§ You're
π³ββοΈπ§ wrong
π³ββοΈπ§ again,
π§ββοΈ There they go again.
π³ββοΈπ§ darkness
π§ is not something, it
π³ββοΈπ§ is the absence of something.
π§ββοΈ *Rolling eyes* Yeah I know...Light. Ho hum. Are you going to say there's no up because up is only an absence of gravity too?
π³ββοΈπ§You can have Low Light, Normal Light , Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light Constantly, you have Nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it ?
π§ββοΈ Yadda yadda yadda. Are we there yet? *Yawn*
π³ββοΈπ§ In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker
π§ and give me a jar of it.
π³ββοΈ wouldn't you ?
π§ Can you... give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?
π§ββοΈ Oh, boy, the corny level just went off the charts.
π§ That's the meaning we use to define the word.
π§ββοΈ No, you use words to define the meaning.
Next thing to be tackled is the idea that death is not the opposite, just the absence of life. blah blah blah.
π§ Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him.
π³ββοΈ Professor :
π§ "This will indeed be a good semester.
π§ββοΈ Yet this is supposed to be the last day of the last semesterβ¦ Methinks this nutty professor and his chain letter originators really get their timing off and obviously can't keep their crap straight.
π³ββοΈ So what is the point you are making,
π§ Would you mind telling us what your point is,
π³ββοΈπ§ young man?"
π§ββοΈ The point is, Mr. Creep, you've gone right off your chump.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student :
π§ "Yes, professor.
π³ββοΈ Sir,
π³ββοΈπ§ My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed
π§ to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
π§ββοΈ Try nonexistent. And I'm not talking about the whole heat/cold, light VS. dark, good VS. evil, noise vs. silence thing.
Now watch him blow another thousand gasketsβ¦
π§ The professor goes toxic.
π³ββοΈ Professor :
π³ββοΈπ§ "Flawed...?
π§ How dare you...!
π§ββοΈ Oh boy, a big nerve just got struck.
π§ Student: "Sir, may I explain what I mean?" The class is all ears.
π§ββοΈ Don't expect him to get it, though.
π§ Professor: "Explain... oh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control.
π³ββοΈ Can you explain how ?
π§ Suddenly he is affability itself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
π§ββοΈ Good gosh, this guy is absolutely batcrap crazy!
π³ββοΈ Student : Sir,
π³ββοΈπ§ you are working on the Premise of Duality.
π§ the Muslim explains. "That for example
π³ββοΈπ§ You argue there is Life and then
π³ββοΈ there is
π§ there's
π³ββοΈπ§ Death, a Good ALLAH and a Bad ALLAH . You are viewing the Concept of ALLAH as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science
π³ββοΈ can't
π§ cannot
π³ββοΈπ§ even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood
π³ββοΈ either one.
π§ them.
π³ββοΈ To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life :
π³ββοΈ just
π§ merely
π³ββοΈπ§ the Absence of it.
π§ββοΈ Didn't I tell you he'd take that route?
π§ The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it.
π§ββοΈ Wow what a joke of a class. We have an atheistt cultst fanatic professor and students sneaking tabloids into class, what philosophers! And now this prying Muslim student somehow knows what his classmate has been reading? Creepers.
π§ "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor, Is there such a thing as immorality?"
π§ββοΈ Argh! Now he's gonna go on a big tear about how there's no such thing because it's just absence again yadda yadda and shut up already!
π§ Professor: "Of course there is, now look..."
π§ββοΈ *Rolling eyes*
π§ Student: "Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice.
π§ββοΈ Blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblah - WRONG! All of these things exist. I mean, you wouldn't simply call it an absence of justice when some injustice has you tortured and wishing for the absence of that pain or anguish etcβ¦ You'd call it "injustice" "cruelty" "cruel and unusual punishment" you get the idea.
π§ Is there such a thing as evil?" The Muslim pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
π§ββοΈ No, wrong againβ¦ Take a light ray. Is it good or evil? It's neither. It's what you do with it that's good or evil.
π§ The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless. The Muslim continues.
π§ββοΈ *Yawn*
π§ "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then Allah, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work, Allah is accomplishing? Islam tells us it is to see if each one of us will, choose good over evil"
π§ββοΈ You just pwned yourselff. good going.
π§ The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't vie this matter as having anything to do with any choice;
π§ββοΈ Hey whacko, you're no more a philosophical scientist than the average soy bean, and your atheism and deplorable lack of teaching skills, is your choice and your problem. No one held a gun to your head and forced you to be such a raving lunatic at a colleversity class. It's plain to see you don't believe in choice where other people are concerned.
π§ as a realist,
π§ββοΈ Hah! That's a hot one! You suck out loud!
π§ I absolutely do not recognize the concept of Allah or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because Allah is not observable"
π§ββοΈ There is a lot that is unobservable especially to the average person. Does that make it all nonexistent? Just because you or I haven't been down to the earth's center in person and unable to observe it for ourselves doesn't mean it isn't there.
π§ "I would have thought that the absence of Allah's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going", the Muslim replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week!
π§ββοΈ And what they don't know, they make up, adding to the evil out there.
π³ββοΈ Now
π³ββοΈπ§ tell me, Professor, do you Teach your Students that they Evolved from a Monkey ?
π§ββοΈ He shouldn't, since this is n't supposed to be a class on various world origin stories, but this is Professor Nutjob.
π³ββοΈπ§ Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
π§ββοΈ Oh, the anti-theist proponents of the evolution theory would have a heyday with this, because I've seen them yell that they never claimed we came from literal monkeys but from some apeman ancestor that eventually evolved and branched out into many different primate types with humans on one branch and monkeys on another and greater and lesser apes (of which we would actually be considered one of the great apes no doubt) on another and so on and so on.
Oh well, I don't subscribe to that belief no matter which version. and I used to know someone who believed in evolution to the extent that she said we came from apes.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir ?
π§ββοΈ Oh c'mon, he might be old, this chain keeps harping on that, but he's not THAT old!
π³ββοΈ (The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going)
π§ The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
π§ββοΈ Cue the spooky music please. He could be winding up to kill somebody.
π³ββοΈπ§ Student :
π§ "Professor,
π³ββοΈπ§ Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this Process is an On - Going Endeavor, are you not Teaching your Opinion, sir ? Are you
π§ now
π³ββοΈπ§ not a Scientist but a
π³ββοΈ Preacher ?
π§ priest?
π§ββοΈ Hahahahaha! Actually I'd say he's much more an activist.
π§ Professor: "I will overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
π§ββοΈ He's trying so desperately not to blow a million more gaskets, I'm surprised he hasn't thrown anything more than several tantrums and a piece of chalk yet.
π§ Student: "So you don't accept Allah's moral code to do what is righteous?"
π§ββοΈHow can he accept something from an entity he doesn't believe in?
π§ Professor: "I believe in what is - that's science!"
π§ββοΈ which is continually changing.
π§ Student: "Ahh! SCIENCE!", the student's face splits into a grin, "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
π§ββοΈ Uh, yeah, I pretty much said that already.
π§ SCIENCE IS FLAWED..? the professor splutters.
π§ββοΈ what an idiot.
π³ββοΈπ§ The class is in uproar.
π§ The Muslim remains standing until the commotion has subsided.
π§ββοΈ Meanwhile, the professor, burning inwardly with rage, probably mulls up some evil thoughts about how to get his revenge,pwn God and bring his whole class back down to their proper places of subservient trembling and bootlicking.
π§ Student: "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
π§ββοΈ *Yawn*
π§ The professor wisely keeps silent. The Muslim looks around the room.
π§ββοΈ Nobody realizes the reason this class has been dragging on for a near eternity is because the clock stopped.
π³ββοΈπ§ "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen
π§ air, oxygen, molecules, atoms,
π³ββοΈπ§ the professor's brain?"
π§ββοΈ *Rolling eyes, pfft*
π³ββοΈπ§ (The Class breaks out
π³ββοΈ into
π§ in
π³ββοΈπ§ Laughter)
π§ββοΈ Oh, for goodness sakes, this is stupid.
π§ The Muslim points towards his elderly crumbling tutor,
π§ββοΈ Huh? I thought it was a colleversity professor. Well anyway, he might be set back on his heels for a little while, but you watch, he'll come back for more.
π³ββοΈ Student :
π³ββοΈπ§ Is there anyone here who has ever Heard the Professor's Brain, Felt
π³ββοΈ it,
π§the professor's brain,
π³ββοΈπ§ Touched or Smelt
π³ββοΈ it ? . . .
π§the professor's brain?
π§ββοΈ No, but maybe somebody should examine yours. I can see where this is going. *Rolling eyes*
π³ββοΈπ§ No one appears to have done so.."
π§ The Muslim shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever.
π§ββοΈ Heard it malfunction, sure. Same with the drips who originate and forward these memes.
π³ββοΈ So,
π§ Well,
π³ββοΈπ§ according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science
π³ββοΈ says
π§ I declare
π³ββοΈπ§ that
π³ββοΈ you
π§ the professor
π³ββοΈ have
π§ has
π³ββοΈπ§ No Brain,
π³ββοΈ sir.!"
π§ββοΈ Way to go, morons, nobody's seen, felt, touched, 'smelt', or heard YOUR brains either, or those of anyone else for that matter. Yeah, you just punked yourselves along with that so-called professor. you fail, profoundly. You'll have to do better than that, but then, this is a meme. I could see this stale stinky joke punchline coming as soon as the first question about the brain was fired off..
π³ββοΈ With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir ?
π§ββοΈ I'd suggest you use your own brains, but, wellβ¦Since there's no observable evidence they exist...
π³ββοΈ (The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable)
π§ββοΈ Achoo!
π³ββοΈ Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith , son.
π§ββοΈ Hah! And stop with the freaking 'son'!
π³ββοΈ Student : That is it sir . . . the Link between Man & ALLAH is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.
π§ββοΈ Well, no, that's only part of the equation. An ameba isn't alive because it has faith. that is way beyond its limited capabilities. Something else is at work that I don't think you meme freaks will ever completely understand.
π§ The Muslim sits...Because that's what a chair is for!!!
π§ββοΈ Duh.
Now, let's wrap up with a story to end this sorry series once and for all.
Over and out!
Breaking Chain Letters Is Not Enough. Mangle The Memes
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